Jim continues to live in his fantasy world where he has new life, a new girlfriend, and the illusion of no pain. Ryan's statements in the women's bathroom last week are still ringing in Jim's head. He and Karen seemed more like a couple as they hung out together at the beach. Jim was a little more affectionate towards her and the casual observer might be able to peg them as a couple for once. However, it is important to note that Jim's affection towards Karen was only slightly raised. It's clear he enjoys her company, but his body language still fails to convey any deep feelings for Karen that extend beyond simply liking her.
The surroundings likely provided more freedom to be a couple, but Jim's motivations lie mostly with his self preservation model. He literally ignored Pam along with everyone else and focused his attention entirely on Karen. He is following his pattern of throwing himself back into Karen, whenever pieces of Pam sneak through his wall. He didn't have to deal with Pam due to Michael relegating her to the sidelines. For Jim, she was out of sight and out of mind. As a result, he spent the day with his defenses down. He was ripe for the picking when Pam made her speech.
In every sense of the word Jim is lost. He is still running from the truth as he still refuses to deal with the pain of his broken heart. He's still functioning under the guise that his feelings no longer exist. He blocks his buried emotions with denial and pretends everything is peachy keen. However, Jim is starting to see the cracks in the facade he's created for himself. The escape Karen provides is not enough and Jim now has his sights set on New York as a possible new haven to hide from the truth. Jim's original mode of self preservation lead him to Stamford as part of the moving on plane. Jim is looking to move on again and escape the pitfalls of Scranton for good, unless Pam was able to shake him to the core.
On the Bus/Beach Arrival:
On the bus ride to the lake, Jim and Karen are sitting next to one another as Pam sits in the back out of Jim's line of sight. Already, he can ignore her presence. As Kevin leads the group in a rousing rendition of Kenny Rogers's "The Gambler" the camera pans over to Jim and Karen. For once, they are touching as they sit together, but it tough to say if it's intentional given the close confines of the bus. Jim's arms are tightly against his body and his hands are likely in his lap. He is very closed off, much like he was on the couch in Cocktails.
As Michael begins his funtivities speech, the camera catches them again, but they are no longer sitting as closely together. As usual, it's tough to peg these two as a couple, unless there is background knowledge that they are dating.
Once the bus arrives at the beach everyone stakes their spot on the beach, including Jim and Karen. After Michael, announces for everyone to get up and gather around, the camera catches a glance of Jim and Karen sitting together. They are close to one another and have the appearance of a couple. Aside from, A Benihana Christmas, this is the most they've seemed a couple via body language. It's highly likely that the environment is playing heavily into Jim's behavior around Karen. They are not at work and therefore have a little more freedom to exhibit their relationship. Jim is more comfortable doing so, given the fact that Pam is on the sidelines.
Furthermore, Jim has Ryan's comments from Women's Appreciation quietly repeating in the back of his mind. Jim knows he needs to up the ante with Karen if he wishes to maintain the facade of having a real relationship with her. However, once again, Jim's body language always gives him away. He may be giving off the illusion that he has feelings for Karen, but his body language refuses to agree. He doesn't give off the aura of a man whose been in a relationship with someone for 6 months. It's not like he has to be all over her, but holding her hand wouldn't kill him if he really had feelings for her. Jim showed more PDA with Pam when he wasn't even with her, so it's known he is more than capable of showing affection.
Picking Teams:
Jim continues to show more affection towards to Karen when he chooses her first for his "Survivor" team. He smiles warmly at her as he calls her name. There's no doubt he cares about her, but his smile lacked the depth that Pam always received. Once Karen meets up with Jim, they playfully and flirtatiously chest bump one another as the gear up for competition. Jim is again playing into the illusion of his relationship with Karen. He wants it to be more than it is, so he is upping the affection, albeit very slightly.
Egg Race:
Jim is having a hard time taking Michael's games serious, so he decides to engage in a good-natured prank. In the egg race, Karen is blindfolded and it's responsibility to guide her around the racecourse while she carries an egg. Instead of leading her around the course, he leads her to the lake and proceeds to get her to take a big step into the water. He is again being very flirtatious and playful.
Karen and Jim definitely give the impression they are a couple. Jim doesn't play with Karen like this in the office, but the lack of boundaries on the beach provide a new insight into their relationship. He obviously enjoys her company as she clearly sees the humor in his prank as she chases him down. Karen may not be his soul mate, but she is fun to be around and passes the time quite nicely as a fun distraction.
Hot Dogs:
Michael becomes infuriated as the group refuses to partake in a hot dog eating contest. In his frustration he blurts that he is trying to find a replacement for his job. He goes on to explain that he is interviewing for a job at corporate. Michael mentions they are interviewing a hand full of people and a little light bulb goes off in Jim's head. His self preservation model kicks into action as he contemplates the possibility of going to New York.
Deep down Jim knows his moving on plan is not working as well as he would like in Scranton. He is all too aware that Pam has wiggled her way through his wall on more than one occasion. His transfer to Stamford saved him the first (at least from his point of view), so he figures New York can remove Pam and the associated pain from his life for good. For Jim, the facade of is his new life will lose the cracks if he changes his environment into one where Pam is not around. He is exhausted from constantly having to keep his defenses on high alert and fending off his bubbling emotions. New York would be a welcome escape.
Calling David Wallace:
Although it isn't known how Jim got into contact with David Wallace, it's highly probable Jim called him. It was on his personal cell phone and Karen states she wants to be considered for the corporate position "as well" which is a small indicator that Jim said something very similar earlier. Jim's light bulb moment during the hot dog scene is, however, the strongest indicator that he made the call. The possible escape that New York embodies is tough to ignore.
He's had an entire day of lowered defenses and feels pretty good. New York would provide this relief on a daily basis. The fact that he has no problem with Karen trying out for the job as well, hints at his intention of joining Karen in New York, regardless of who gets the job between them. Jim wants to take his safety net to New York with him, to ensure his illusion of a new life is firmly in place. Jim has been in survival mode for quite some time and is desperate to move on past his pain. New York provides the perfect opportunity.
Jim seems very confident on the phone with David Wallace, but his body language gives him away again. Once he hands the phone to Karen, he becomes very fidgety with his hands. He plays continuously with his fingers and the sand on the ground. He looks out onto the water knowing he's taken a very big step in both his life and his career. He is nervous and even shows some signs of uncertainty. He showed the same insecurity during his decision to transfer to Stamford. Deep down Jim feels the pull to Scranton and Pam, but he won't acknowledge it. Jim has established yet another mode of escape, by using his job as a way to escape his pain.
Jim has always hated his job and made the infamous statement that he'd throw himself in front of a train if e advances any further. That all went out the window when Jim's self preservation model took over. He's advanced two positions higher since Season 1 and he's still hanging around. His job is just another way to divert his attention away from his feelings and his pain. His job has allowed him to avoid Pam. This time is no different. Jim probably doesn't want the job, but he needs it.
Jim covers his nerves with his humor as he makes fun of Karen for misspeaking "as well" with "in whale." Jim teases her as she speaks to Wallace with "In whale? How would that work, in whale? I just want to know. Wait a minute, if this job is in a whale, I don't want it. I don't." He's been teasing her all day and he's continuing to do so both as a way to avoid his discomfort, but he's also having fun with his distraction.
The Coal Walk:
Michael introduces the next game as walking through fire. The goal behind this game is to show him who has guts and courage. As Stanley walks away from the game Michael says, "the rest of us will have a super fun time defeating our fear. " The fire springs into action and Jim's face has fear painted all over it. Michael's statement held double meaning for Pam, but it does for Jim as well.
The coal walk is representative of overcoming fears and struggles of which Jim has plenty. Pam immediately had the courage and willpower to cross the coals as she eventually does later in the episode. However, when Michael calls on Jim to walk the coals he refuses immediately, "Nope." Michael pushes him further with, "Why not? C'mon." Jim promptly replies, "Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned." Therein lies the basis of Jim's self preservation model. On the surface, Jim really doesn't want his feet to get burned. Symbolically, however, his refusal is all about not wanting to get emotionally burned. Pam's coal walk was about more than just facing hot coals as it was about finding her courage and herself.
For Jim, the coal walk is also a representation of his struggles. He is still running from his truths and therefore can't face the "coal walk" in his soul that stands in the way of finding himself. His fear paradox dictates his behavior as he is terrified of feeling his pain or getting "burned" again if he allows himself to deal with the truth of his feelings. His avoidance tactic applies to more than just Pam. He is essentially avoiding certain parts of himself that are too painful to visit.
The Circle:
After everyone refuses to do the coal walk, Michael decides a sudden death tribal council round is the way to choose his successor. Essentially, the person who as the best sense of humor should replace him. Michael calls on Jim first, but Jim is again reluctant to comply. Jim says, "I gotta be honest. I really don't think I should be considered as your replacement." Michael thinks Jim is being too modest and prods him further. Jim tells Michael straight up that he is interviewing for the open corporate position in New York. Jim may be looking out for himself when it comes to this job but he also has a sense of loyalty and overall honesty. He could have easily kept it quiet, but Jim doesn't have it in him to go behind Michael's back.
Pam's Speech:
Jim was likely just as surprised as everyone else, when Pam sprinted into the circle. Pam excitedly proclaims she just did the coal walk. The camera doesn't show Jim's expression until she asks "Why didn't any of you come to my art show?" It's obvious he was wearing a dumbfounded smile prior to Pam's questions. He was in awe of FNB doing the coal walk and sticking it to Michael. He'd never seen her behave this way and it's a little jarring. It's also possible to detect that Jim was proud of her. Pam is being the Pam he always knew she could be. His awe fades as soon as Pam brings up the art show. His smile noticeably fades from his face. Jim feels bad and even a little guilty for not showing up, (but again who can blame him choosing not to go). He had no idea his co-workers failed to show up as well. Along with everyone else, he had no clue this hurt Pam so much.
Pam suddenly spins around and faces him. She hits him with a bombshell straight away, "Jim, I called off my wedding because of you." Jim is floored. His eyes grow wide as if he's a deer caught in the headlights. His expression strongly mirrors Pam's face after he dropped the truth on her in Casino Night. Just as she asked him "What are you doing?" and "What do you expect me to say to that?" that night, he is now sending her the same questions nonverbally. He is at a loss on what to do or say as he sits in stunned silence. Jim is in mortal shock as Pam has just hit him right between the eyes.
Jim is surprised that Pam brought up such a private issue between them. He's never seen her so brave and outwardly confident. His awe of FNB continues, despite his internal struggles. On the outside, he appears to be somewhat composed, but on the inside, there is frantic activity to reinstate his defenses. Pam caught him at a point where he has little or no defenses. He's spent the entire day with his wall down and he did not have time to rebuild it before Pam pegged him with her slice of truth. He has nowhere to run internally or externally. His wall is nonexistent and his safety net, Karen, is not sitting next to him. He is essentially forced to face Pam on his own. Despite his best efforts to rebuild, it is already too late. The simple shock of her statements is impeding the process of rebuilding his wall. Without defenses Jim's inner feelings are exposed and unprotected. This vulnerability is what allows Jim to listen.
The internal struggle between his head and his heart is effectively at a standstill, with Jim's heart in total control. A piece of him needs to hear her out. Ever since he found out Pam's wedding was cancelled, he's wanted to know why and Pam is starting to answer that question. Jim needs to know she left Roy because of him. He can now start to piece together the reality that Pam was not rejecting [i] him [i], but rather the circumstances and timing of his confession. Whether he ever reaches this reality is still up in the air, but he is beginning to receive and process information.
Jim is still reeling from her first declaration, which leaves him completely unprepared for Pam's next statement, "And now we're not even friends. And things are like just weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you." His face is visibly knotted in pain as he allows himself to "feel" her for the first time in a very long time. Not only does he feel her pain, but he's dealing with the return of his own pain. It's no longer buried and can no longer be denied. It's in this moment that he realizes he misses her, too. He looks as though he wants to tell her, but he is still stunned into silence. She got him right in the heart with her "I miss you."
Jim has never seen Pam look at him with so much emotion. In fact, he's never really seen her love him. He had no idea Pam feels the same pain he's been struggling with since Casino Night. With this realization Jim's fear paradox makes an appearance. Alongside the pain on his face, fear resides. He is terrified of the feelings Pam is bringing to the surface, however, he has no defensive measures in place to push them back. She is pulling him back to the past, a place he fears more than anything as that's where he left his broken heart.
Pam is on a roll and she continues to pummel him with the truth, "You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. The camera doesn't pan over to see Jim's reaction, but the sentiment she expresses surely reached him. He was so hurt in Casino Night he was unable to accept Pam's statement, "You have no idea what your friendship means to me." Now, with no defenses or a freshly broken heart, he is in a position to at least begin to understand just how much he means to Pam. Pam made a smart move to simply tell him she missed him. He's not ready to hear "I love you." Her "I miss you" already had a profound impact on him.
An "I love you" would've ignited his fear paradox enough to create a temporary shield and a place to hide. Pam drops another bombshell that Jim needed to hear, "I shouldn't have been with Roy, and there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you." Pam has meandered back to the past and Jim's face is still shows signs of the pain that is surging through him. His brow is still knotted and his eyes carry the same hurt that he wore in Casino Night. However, he can't help but nonverbally express to her, "Pam, I had no idea." He is again "feeling" her.
Knowing Pam shares his pain speaks loudly to his heart. It's comforting for him to know that he is not the only one hurting from Casino Night. More importantly, Jim needed to hear Pam admit Roy was a mistake. He knows she was referring to both her original relationship with Roy and her rekindled relationship from Phyllis's Wedding. Jim was cut deep both in GWH and PW. Despite the pain in his eyes, they also have a softness that is the direct result of Pam owning up to her mistake. He can't help but melt with Pam's heartfelt admission that she is aware she hurt him. Pam's last statement in this segment effected Jim as well. She is again letting him know how important he is to her and he feels her warmth. That in itself stirs emotions Jim hasn't allowed himself to acknowledge since CN. The wall isn't there to stop her from touching his heart or to stop his emotions from flowing.
Jim continues to listen as Pam loses her train of thought, "And now you're with someone else, and that's fine. It's . . . whatever." Instead of maintaining focus on Jim, the camera pans to Karen's face. However, it highly probable Jim caught a glimpse of Pam's jealousy, despite her best effort to push it aside. It's the first time he's seen Pam react to his relationship with Karen with any type of emotion. He's now aware that it does bother her and that impacts him heavily. Again, she's waking up emotions that he kept carefully buried. Jim doesn't want to be impacted by her flustered words, but his defenses have yet to be repaired.
Pam regains her composure and simply tells him, "The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim . . . . is that I miss having fun with you." Jim 's expression is much softer as his pain gives way to his own honest response of missing her for the same reason. Pam isn't the only one who lost her best friend. Jim, too, has felt the empty void from Pam's absence as his best friend. He knows he is partially responsible for widening the gap, even though he felt he had no choice. But the reality of the situation still stands, he misses her plain and simple.
Karen has never been able to replace Pam, no matter how hard Jim tries to convince himself otherwise. The fear paradox has also abated as Jim realized Pam didn't expect him to do or say anything in response. He understands she just needed to say her peace. Now he just needs to figure out what it all means to him.
Pam takes her leave as she heads towards the lake to cool her burned feet. Jim doesn't move. He sits stoically as he stares at Pam's previous position. The shock of it all is still slowing down his brain function as he tries to sort through everything Pam just told him. He can't bring himself to look away from Pam's spot. In a sense, Pam's former space is now occupied by the truth. All the feelings he's denied are staring him in the face and like Pam, they refuse to be invisible. His unmoving body does little convey the overwhelming torrent of emotions raging inside of him.
His face, however, gives him away as it carries an expression of bewilderment. The dam has broken and Jim is once again flooded with the feelings he's been denying and burying for so long. The "water" is flooding every part of his subconscious and conscious thoughts. The wall is crumbled at his feet. There is no escape and no protective barrier. Jim doesn't dare look at Karen. Subconsciously, he knows the truth is all over his face. Besides, she can't save him anyway and he knows it.
Throughout Pam's entire speech, Jim never breaks eye contact. He was listening to her wholeheartedly. The lack of defenses gave Pam the open door she needed. It just goes to show how thick Jim's defenses were. Once they are down, he doesn't stand a chance. Pam had his attention from the start as she exhibited FNB. Everything she did and said directly contradicts everything he thought he knew about her. He was enamored.
Pam may have only spoken for a couple minutes, but she was able to pull him out of his escape for that brief time. He spent the day basking in his fantasy and Pam snapped him back to the reality he's refused to acknowledge. However, only time will tell if he'll remain in reality or sprint back to his fantasy world. Pam forced Jim to face every aspect of his denial and buried feelings. It's now up to Jim on whether he'll deal with those feelings or if he'll try to push them all back behind the dam. Through all the turmoil, it's important to note that Jim's perception of Pam is entirely new. He saw FNB and realizes he's not dealing with the same Pam he walked away from on CN.
Pam won back some of his trust with her honesty. Pam scored huge points by admitting her fault with Roy. Jim needed to know he was right about Roy being all wrong for Pam. Beyond the satisfaction of being right, Jim walks away with something much more important. He realizes he's not the only one hurting and that levels the playing field. Above all else, Jim saw and felt honest emotions from Pam directed squarely at him. He's never seen Pam look at him that way. It's a face he won't soon forget. The hope Jim has carefully stowed away since PW, is quietly awake and is gently tugging on Jim's heart.
The Bottom Line:
The ball is in Jim's court. Game on.
- - -
Questions to Ponder:
1) Will Jim approach Pam in response to her speech? Does he need to?
2) Assess Jim's defenses. How will his self preservation model change? What about the wall? Will it stay down or will Jim find a way to rebuild it?
3) How will Pam's speech effect Jim's relationship with Karen?
4) Does Jim know Pam loves him? Does Jim know he still loves her?
Chapter End Notes:
Commonly Used Acronyms:
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
