At first, she didn’t really want to move. She had just gotten him back, for crying out loud, and he wasn’t That stranger who was creeping outside her hospital room anymore, but he was Jim again, and the puzzle pieces in her head were coming together to make up the picture where he was hers. But eventually, she knew that she had to make a couple of phone calls. 

One to let her parents know where she was and that she was okay.

One to Penny, that ended with the promise to visit as soon as possible.

One to Roy. No more than a little bit of awkward silence, and finally, “Just...thank you. I...thank you, Roy,” before he was sheepishly brushing her off and saying You’re welcome, Pammy before they hung up.

Jim was waiting patiently in the kitchen all the while, giving her the space to square things away. When she crossed the threshold where the hallway met the light of the kitchen, she noticed that he was plating something from an oven pan. The smell was familiar, and had her neurons lighting up in memories of both childhood and Saturdays with Jim alike. Her eyebrows crinkled until she was close enough to know for sure.

“Are those dino chicken nuggets?”

“They indeed are.”

He lifted his head enough to find her eyes, to smile with his lips closed in a way that was crooked and favored one side of his face. He looked dangerously handsome, in his low kitchen lights with a triceratops in his right hand and a T-rex in his left. She only shook her head when his eyes were back on the task.

“You insisted that I keep a bag in my freezer, so it’s really only fair that you help me get rid of them.”

His voice was soft but playful as he finished filling their plates before taking a bottle of barbeque sauce from the refrigerator.

Settled atop a stool at the island, Pam bit her lip as she leaned on her elbows.

“Oh, actually, I like— ”

The thud of the ketchup bottle in front of her on the countertop cut off her words, and she smiled, her eyebrows cocked in amused delight.

“Honestly though, who eats their nugs with ketchup instead of barbeque? You’re like a freak of nature, Beesly.”

He slid a glass of water in front of her before rounding the island to take the stool on her left. They ate in content silence, their chewing playing a slow game of tag with sounds of his air conditioner kicking in. He asked about the phone calls and she recounted the main points while they finished their dinner. She offered to do the dishes, and then insisted when he made the slightest indication that he didn’t want her to overexert herself. 

But he stood right beside her, drying off two plates, two glasses, and one cookie sheet.

“Don’t you know that if you— ”

“Oh boy. This is the tin foil lecture isn’t it?”

She pulled the plug from the drain as he wiped the last droplets from the cookie sheet. She popped her hip and balanced her hand on her waist, cocking her head to the side in amused indignation.

“Wait. So we’ve had this conversation before? And you— ”

“Still haven’t caught on yet? Still don’t put foil over my cookie sheet when we make chicken nuggets? Still end up having to wash the cookie sheet every time?”

Her eyes widened, and she pushed a laugh through her nostrils.

“Seriously, Jim? And I’m the one with the diagnosed memory loss over here.”

His shoulders jerked in a chuckle of his own as he realized that it was okay to laugh, that it was okay that she was making a joke.

He slid the cookie sheet into the broiler drawer before wrapping her into a soft hug against his body. She wound her arms behind his back, holding her casted wrist in her free hand as she snapped perfectly into the space below his chin.

“I guess we’d better get you...home,” he whispered as they swayed back and forth gently under the low lights of his kitchen. She stiffened in his arms, turning her head to bury her nose against him.

“What do you...why?”

She pulled back slightly, her wrists anchored in the small of his back as she furrowed her eyebrows at him in confusion. His large hands cupped her cheeks as his thumbs brushed gently against the healing bruises.

“Because,” he began calmly, “you’re supposed to be healing. And I want you to feel comfortable and safe. Home would be the best place— ”

“I am home, though.”

It was Jim’s turn to cock his head and furrow his brows. Pam smiled warmly, breathing a soft chuckle as she tugged him closer.

“I just got you back, Halpert. If the best place for me to continue my recovery is somewhere that I feel safe and comfortable, then it’s wherever I’m with you.”

She felt his body relax as he came back to his center, noticed the way his full smile paired with his downturned eyes. As if to make up for all of the ground she’d lost in the past weeks, she dragged her hand around to his front and lay her palm over his heart.

“This is my home, Jim. You are my home.”

Her hand wound up and over his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulled him down for a soft kiss.

Their eventual compromise meant that Jim was packing an extended stay suitcase before loading them both into his car and heading to her new apartment, the one he hadn’t been to since before the accident. The one that was finally all hers, save for the few boxes that had been damaged in the crash and were sitting now in her parent’s garage. She held his hand the entire way. He glanced over at every stoplight, just to make sure she was real.

By the time they were settled, the sun had long since put itself to bed. Jim, wearing a white undershirt and plaid pajama pants, scratched nervously at the back of his neck as he padded softly into her bedroom.

“Are you all set?”

She twisted the cap onto her contacts case and joined him in the pale light.

“I think so.” She smiled shyly, shrugging in her spaghetti strapped tank and striped pajama bottoms. They stood awkwardly, the carpet in her bedroom seeming to span miles between them as she realized just how little space her things took up when she was here alone.

“Okay.” He nodded twice slowly and let his hand drop to his side at the same pace before crossing the room, reaching out for her tentatively. He kissed the top of her head, rocking her back and forth in a bear hug as he muttered, “I’ll be right in the next room if you need anything.”

She pushed away abruptly, her hands balanced on his hips as she held him at arm's length and cocked her head in annoyed confusion.

“Why, exactly, are you going to be in the next room?”

“Because,” he huffed in nervous laughter. “You’re...and we...I just…”

“Get. Over here. You dork.”

She dragged him to her bed by the hips, only stopping when the back of her legs hit the mattress. Still standing, his wide eyes peering over the top of her head to the bed behind her.

“I might not have every little last memory back, but I’m not in the dark enough to have you sleeping on the couch, Jim Halpert.”

“Are you— ”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m insisting, in fact.”

Tugging on his wrists, they fumbled with shutting off the lamps on either bedside table before maneuvering underneath the covers, facing each other on their sides as they met in the middle.

His hands were still tentative, and hers were too, as if there was enough room for Jesus in between. In the glow of the moonlight, his eyes were bright, the whites glowing as he stared widely at the shadows of her face. She traced over him too, a silent game of reading the personal bibles that made up one another.

“Hey,” she breathed, after she’d taken in her fill. “You look exhausted.”

The chapter of his eyes told a story that carried too many of her burdens than she deemed fair. Her good hand brushed softly against his cheek as her thumb met the corner of his eye.

“Get some sleep, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

His body seemed to relax at her words, because suddenly, she was back to that subtle way of knowing what he was thinking before he had to breathe his worries into existence. He captured her hand and pressed it to his lips before pulling her against his chest where her head snuggled against his heart and he was finally able to breathe again.

She wrapped her arms around him as best she could, and on the edge of sleep, muttered, “Just keep your hands where I can see them, Halpert,” into the cotton of his t-shirt.

—

She woke to wide, tired eyes with crinkly bloodshot lines scanning her slowly but alertly. The bags beneath them had her name in their creases. When he blinked upon seeing her awake, she could tell by the folding lines in his face that he was wincing because his eyes were dry.

She smiled, despite the fact that it appeared he hadn’t slept, and reached up to cup his cheek.

“Still here.”

“I know.” His voice was thick with sleep and scratched around the edges, but somehow, that made her feel even more at home. “It’s still a little surreal, though.”

The arm that was weaved around her back pressed her more firmly to him as he gently kissed her forehead.

“How long have you been awake?” she asked softly after letting herself wade in the feeling of being in his arms for awhile. He sighed, his breath warm on her skin as his arms tightened around her back.

“Uhm...probably about an hour?”

“Jim.”

“Since like 4:30,” he admitted defeatedly. A quick glance over his shoulder told her that it was nearing on 8. She snuggled against his chest and pulled the covers more tightly around them.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered, her cheek pressing against his heart. “Please, Jim.”

When she felt his heartbeat quicken beneath her, she lifted her head to meet a pair of nervous eyebrows and quick blinking eyes.

She reached up to cup his cheek and press their foreheads together, letting the intimacy of the moment speak for itself when he automatically pushed against her and circled her wrist with the tight grip of his fingers.

His eyes squeezed shut eventually, but more in an attempt to keep his emotions at bay. Pam bit her lip, pulling away enough to kiss his cheek and gently nudge him downward so that his head could be cradled against her chest. She felt his breath catch, and a large push of air made her involuntarily shiver.

“I just don’t want to wake up and have this be some too-good dream,” he mumbled into her pajama top. “That...I wouldn’t be able to come back from that, Pam.”

“You won’t have to,” she did her best to promise, with her quick response and the shake of her head and her fingers massaging through his hair. “I know this is weird and scary, but I’m here. I promise you, I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. Please try and get some sleep. You’re scaring me.”

Whether she actually got through to him, or his body finally collapsed under sheer mental and physical exhaustion, she didn’t entirely care. It was after one in the afternoon when he finally stirred, still in the same position he’d fallen asleep in with his entire body caged around her.

The days went like this, with Jim doing his best to tiptoe around Pam at her place, to not startle her and to help her readjust to life in her own place. Then conversely it was Pam comforting Jim at night. Eventually, after one of her scheduled check-ups, after getting her cast off and having a thorough cranial exam, she all but forced him to see a sleep specialist and get a prescription. 

For the first week, Pam insisted on being in her own home. Although Jim returned to work, he insisted that unless she wanted him to drop her off at her parent’s place on his way to work everyday that she was going to have someone around the house. Helene, Penny, and even Larisa traded off visiting Pam and keeping her company. Jim came back every day on his lunch to check in, too. 

Eventually, when he stopped needing sleeping pills and the bruises on her face were all but gone and the doctor gave her the all-clear, Pam returned to her throne behind the reception desk at Dunder Mifflin--starting with half days. She sat in anxious anticipation for the days leading up to the event, expecting banners and balloons and Michael’s general overexuberance. But she was pleasantly surprised to discover that, since the accident, Michael had grown more self aware. She was welcomed back in hushed, happy tones; a yellow cake with chocolate frosting was brought out at lunch before Jim took her home.

What irked her the most was the way that everyone still seemed to be walking on eggshells around her at the office. For the four hours that she was present, people generally avoided asking her for anything. Which, in hindsight, only made her job more difficult when Kevin was squeezing his way behind her desk to use the fax machine because she didn’t need to do that for him, or when Oscar was ruffling in her files because he didn’t want her overexerting herself. She wanted to scream, but Jim was no help, seeing as he wasn’t much better at work than he was home. Gazing over the counter for a sympathetic nonverbal would typically end in him shrugging his consent with their coworkers and her rolling her eyes back far enough to see the back of her head.

Eventually though, she was finally able to break the silence. One morning, when Michael, who was huddled around Dwight’s desk going over strategy for a client lunch said, “Really, Dwight, I think I’d be better fit; I can run the group from any position,” she burst into an enthusiastic, “That’s what she said!”

At first, the entire office seemed startled. Wide eyes peered towards the front, hesitant and searching. After almost a full minute of silence, Michael finally broke into a wide grin and started a contagious bought of laughter that finally kicked everyone into a semblance of normalcy again.

Things were still fuzzy, though. 

Most of her memories were back, but it was big events like breaking up with Roy and Jim admitting that he loved her on Casino Night and driving to Stamford to finally be with him. Little minute details were still lost in the shuffle. So when Jim tried to chide her about Sawyer and Kate never making it as a couple in Lost because he knew that she was secretly vying for them and wanted to see her get all riled up, it backfired in a lot of scrunching eyebrows and strange glances while he queued up the next episode.

“It’s okay,” he said, rubbing her shoulder as she pouted. “We’ll just get the DVDs from Blockbuster and watch the episodes again. Plus, I kind of see it as a major bonus that you forgot that you wanted Kate and Sawyer to be together. It works so well for my campaign to get you onto Team Jate.”

The pouting continued in moments like these. When he asked her to grab his blanket and she couldn’t remember which one he meant (“It really doesn’t matter,” he tried to reassure her. “They all smell like you anyway; that’s kind of what I was going for), when she put mushrooms in the stir fry, not remembering that he didn’t eat mushrooms, (“I was going to start a diet soon anyway"), or picking out red wine at the store while grocery shopping because it completely slipped her mind that he was allergic and it paralyzed his hands for a half hour if he drank it (“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Beesly”).

They were sitting on the roof of Dunder Mifflin having lunch, Jim eating and Pam pouting.

“Seriously. Stop worrying about it,” Jim chuckled as he popped a few more sour cream and onion chips into his mouth. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“But it is a big deal,” she huffed, her own sandwich still untouched on the crate that served as a makeshift table. “If I would’ve remembered that your basketball games are on the first and third Saturday of the month, I wouldn’t have said yes to brunch with Penny and my mom.”

“Beesly. Would you settle down? It’s one game. I promise I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But what if I wanted to go?” she argued, throwing her hands up in the air as her cheeks tinted more red by the second. “What if I wanted to see you play? I haven’t gotten to see you play since...I don’t even remember ever seeing you play! Have I ever gone to watch a game?"

His face softened as he finished chewing, swallowed, and took a swig from his water bottle.

“Yes. You’ve come twice now.”

“See! And now I’ll be missing out on your first game back.”

He reached across the space between their chairs and held her hand in his.

“It’s okay. Now you know. And we can put it on the calendar.”

With her lips still downturned, she let her free arm remain crossed.

“Fine. But that doesn’t help the fact that I’ll be missing your game tomorrow.”

He shrugged smally, and once it was clear that she had no more to say on the matter, he returned to eating his lunch.

“Why don’t you ever get more upset about this?” she asked once his lunch was completely polished off. He quirked his head to the side, encouraging her to elaborate. “I just mean...every time I realize that I don’t remember something you’re just so...freaking chilled out. Why doesn't it make you more mad?”

“Beesly. If the alternative to you forgetting that I have a rec league basketball game on Saturday morning is having you still in love with Roy, then I’ll take Saturday brunch with Penny for the rest of my life.”

It was so simple that it took her a good amount of processing to realize that he was still sitting there sipping at his water bottle as if he hadn’t just solidified the fact that she was going to marry him one day into her brain. She crawled out of her own seat and into his lap, tucking her head onto his shoulder. Michael would understand if their lunch went a little extra today.

When they decided to have lunch on the roof one more time before Pennsylvania winter stole away their secret hideout, Jim held her closely as they watched cars drift in and out beyond the parking lot.

“I’ve always loved it up here,” he breathed into her hair. 

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because,” he shrugged, “this is where we had our first date.”

“You mean that fake date, when I was still with Roy?” she smirked, balancing her chin on his shoulder to gauge his reaction to her chiding nature. When she was met with furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips, she pulled back slightly. She could see the realization wash over his eyes, as, “No, our real first date,” came with You don’t remember swimming in his corneas.

She slumped into him, wrapping her arms more tightly around his middle as he tucked her head beneath his chin, both sitting in stilted silence as the wind whipped around them a little more quickly.

“Tell me.”

She broke the silence with a whisper that was carried to his ears by the wind. 

“Well, it was super last minute,” he began, his lips tucked near her ear, “so, not a lot of options that didn’t require a reservation. I followed you back to Scranton after you surprised me on my doorstep. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. You said that you wanted to take me on a real date.”

“And you told me that you wanted to go home and change, and I told you not to, but you insisted. So I waited. Got everything ready. Paced a lot. I told you to meet me at work and you came back wearing the sweater that you wore on my first day back. Even though it was like a bajillion degrees that day. I was already sweating like a pig though, so we kind of matched by the end of it.”

She giggled, that tinkling sound warm and fuzzy in his ears.

“I brought us two grilled cheese sandwiches and a couple of sodas.”

“You remade that night, didn’t you?”

She pulled away, her eyes glistening as realization covered her in a warm blanket.

“Right down to the swaying.”

He reached up to cup her cheek, tucking a stray curl behind her ears on the way.

“This is the stuff I hate,” she choked back, letting him soothe her with his fingers tickling up and down her arm. “I want to remember that, Jim. I wish so badly that I had that memory right now.”

“I do too,” he began slowly. “But, baby it’s okay. One grilled cheese sandwich isn’t going to change the world. I promise. Actually, I’m kind of getting sick of them.”

He chuckled, and so did she, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hand.

“Besides. We have forever to make new memories now. I’ll redo that date until the day I die if you really want me to. But all I care about is that the new memories have me and you somewhere together. I don’t care where. I don’t care how. Just as long as it’s us.”

The holidays were quietly cheerful. Everyone was mostly just grateful that Pam was healthy and that their old lives had majorly returned. Penny and Larisa teamed up to put on Thanksgiving dinner for the entire crew of Halperts and Beeslys so that the “whole family” could be together.

Pam used and abused the brand new Nikon camera that Jim bought her for Christmas, with the card to go along with it saying, To hold onto all of our new memories. 

After the holiday bustle, when things were at a lull and Pam was going stir crazy, Jim suggested they give Ben and Annie a call. Visiting with the Humphreys family was a whirlwind, as baby Nora was now starting to roll over and Cece was doing everything in her power to stay the center of attention.

Pam cooed at the baby in her arms, chatting up Annie about hospital stays, while Jim tossed a ball back and forth with Cece and carried on a conversation with Ben at the same time.

“We almost lost Annie,” Ben admitted with the women out of earshot in the living room. “It was scary, man. I don’t know what I would’ve done if…”

Jim shook his head, visions of weeks in the hospital waiting and hoping and praying attacking him for a brief moment.

“No, I get it,” he supplied, flipping the rainbow ball in the air to Cece, who was oblivious to it all. “If Pam didn’t start to remember who she was, I…” 

Jim huffed, glancing through the open doorway where Pam was holding a happy baby in her arms with her head thrown back in laughter.

“She made it, though.”

Unable to go down that road again, he shrugged and turned his attention towards the little girl who was getting ready to run head-first at him. He caught her in his arms before she could throw him off balance and stood, spinning her in the air as she giggled.

Ben nodded once, both men in agreement that venturing down that road was unnecessary as both women joined them in the family room.

Over lunch, as Cece chatted on about starting school and showing off her baby sister and the debate as to whether unicorns or fairies were prettier, she slipped in a casual, “Oh, Pam. Remember when Jim said that he wanted to marry you one day? If you guys ever do that, I could be your flower girl. I was just the flower girl for my Auntie Trisha and I was the best part of the whole wedding!”

While Cece continued spinning stories about her aunt’s wedding, Pam snuck her hand into Jim’s under the table, smiling shyly at him before focusing the blush in her cheeks to the lunch on the table.

On the car ride home, Jim slipped his hand around Pam’s, mentioning casually, “Cece’s a pretty name,” before squeezing her hand. The quiet in the car for the rest of the ride was filled instead with their buzzing thoughts.

There was a new weight in her bedroom that night, as Pam tucked herself across Jim’s chest.

“Hey,” she began softly, tracing circles on his skin with her fingertips.

“Hey yourself,” he mimicked, squeezing her hip softly.

“I wanna keep making new memories with you.”

She hid her shy smile in the cotton of his shirt, but she could feel his smile creeping up his cheek as he pressed his lips to her head.

“Me too.”

“So...move in with me? Start now?”

She bit her lip, her body going still as she listened in the silence for his answer.

“Or, I mean, we could...you don’t have to. I just figured, you know, you spend enough time here anyway. We could stay at your place, too, even, or we could just live separately--”

“Yes.”

Her cheeks filled his palms as he sat up with her shifting to his lap. His lips assaulted hers as her arms wound around his back.

As they lay in bed in the early morning hours, their naked skin finally wrapped around one another, she nuzzled her cheek against the hair on his chest and smiled. He was snoring softly, his arms still wrapped around her loosely enough so that she could breathe, but not enough that she could get away. Closing her eyes, she began to cement these new memories into her brain. The look in his eyes when he had said Really? and she had confirmed that he heard right. The boyish grin that climbed up his cheeks and lit up his eyes when they debated the pros and cons of each apartment, and somehow wound up in a four-bed three-bath with a fenced in yard and a dog. The feel of his lips on every inch of her skin, and his skin pressed into hers as they finally let go. 

The lost parts of her might never come back. Though she expressed her frustrations about it time and time again, he had helped her realize that there was nothing they could do to change that. But, as his heartbeat slowly against her eardrum, she let herself be content with the restart button that they were given, and with her new starting point finally ready, she closed her eyes and clicked PLAY.