“Hey! I wanna say something!”
Jim's attention immediately turned towards Pam as she was running, breathlessly into the center of the group. He tried to ignore the flutter in his heart when he saw her excited and smiling like she used to before they were about to pull a prank together. He silently scolded himself for recalling those memories but at the same time it had been such a long time since he'd seen her looking that relaxed and giddy – it made him long for the simpler days.
“I've been trying to be more honest lately and I just need to say a few things.” Pam blurted out, impulsively. “I did the coal walk!” She pointed, exuberantly, “Just I did it! Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.”
Jim's eyebrows raised slightly and felt a soft laugh come out at her dig at Michael.
“Wow, I feel really good right now.” She shifted around, pausing slightly, suddenly she sobered and she frowned,
“Why didn't any of you come to my art show?”
Jim's smile faded.
“I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist.”
Silence hung in between the group. Pam was looking around at the group but no one was looking back at her, Jim noticed. Probably out of awkwardness and shame. She was eyeing them and rotating from person to person looking to see their reactions. Jim watched as she slowly turned her body to look directly at him, with a severe (well, severe for Pam) look on her face.
“Jim, I called off my wedding because of you.”
He felt his stomach drop and eyes widen in surprise. His mind blank from the sheer shock of her confession.
“And now we're not even friends. And things are really weird between us now – and that sucks,” she took a breath in, “and I miss you.”
Jim's heart beat wildly in his ears and he furrowed his brow, Pam stood there, not breaking eye contact, determined to get her message across to him.
“You were my best friend before you went to Stamford and I really miss you.”
She paused for a moment - her expression softened and she took another deep breath,
I shouldn't have been with Roy,” she continued with convinction, shaking her head, “there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding but the truth is I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you.”
Jim blinked, floods of emotions hitting him.
“And now you're with someone else - “ Pam caught herself, “and that's fine. It's whatever.”
Jim became suddenly, and painfully aware that this conversation was indeed in front of all of his coworkers and his girlfriend but kept watching her as she rambled a little, slowing down, the adrenaline of her coal walk wearing off, she broke eye contact and began complaining about her feet hurting and shifting around uncomfortably. Pam looked him back in the eye, not willing to be derailed from what she wanted to say to him.
“I guess the thing I am just trying to say to you, Jim,” she looked around, “and everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone else in the circle.”
She stared at him for a couple more seconds, letting him read her face, then composed herself, “Ok, I'm gonna go walk in the water now.” Turning her body away and looking away from her audience she concluded, “Yeah, it's a good day.”
Jim looked down as she ran off, feeling his ears turn red and the awkwardness of the very public confession set in, trying to even process what just happened. He felt frozen, staring at the fire.
What in the hell was that?