It was that time of the year again. The Perfect Storm. Michael had read on the Small Business Man that warehouse personnel needed constant proofs of manliness from their superiors, so of course it was a priority over some signatures. He was absolutely late on this demand, so he should make a tight schedule of displays throughout the day. There was no time to do stupid paperwork.

“Well, now, the GRAN FINALE. Did you bring the big guns, Dwight?”

“Affirmative. Should I set up the targets now?”

“Yep.”

“Have you thought about shooting Jim's foot? I guarantee a non lethal shot will be more than enough to prove…”

“No, I don't think it takes that much. Just some paper targets around the parking lot. ATTENTION, EVERYONE. COME TO THE PARKING LOT IN HALF AN HOUR TO AN ABSOLUTE ASTONISHING DISPLAY OF MANLINESS”

“By the end of the day, you mean? So the purchase orders are already signed, um?”

“No, Stanley, they are not signed, can't you see there are bigger things at stake? I'll be getting myself ready to… you know…”

Jim made his trademarked face to Karen. Pam looked at Angela in distress and called Toby. Why didn't anyone tell him that keeping documents up to date was very manly?

Everyone was in the parking lot, ready to leave for the weekend, except, of course, the unfortunate ones who depended on Michael to finish their duties. Dwight got an old blunderbuss out of his trunk.

“Wow, that's a really big gun, um?”

“Once you refused a living target I had to compensate with appearance.”

“Fair enough.”

“Michael, I would engage my shoulder better, the recoil might be…”

“Are you implying I can't shoot? Because then you will regret when I… MY ARM, MY ARM”

The audience was less than amused by the cloud of dust spit by the gun.

“So, the last pick-up is at seven, so I guess it's more than enough time to ask Jan to let me sign and then…”

“MY WHOLE ARM JUST FELL FROM THE SHOULDER, THE SKIN IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING IT TOGETHER”

“I meet you straight at the movies. Big bucket of popcorn, but you pay for dinner now”, Karen gave Jim a quick peck before leaving.

“Stop leaving! Call an ambulance, our leader is wounded!”

“Dwight, the insurance you picked doesn't cover the ambulance. You must take him to the hospital”, replied Toby, still in disbelief of the wicked turns of his life.

“IF I COME BACK AS AN USELESS CRIPPLE, JIM MAY HAVE MY OFFICE”

“Unbelievable, Michael. I thought I was the rightful heir to the office.”

“Do you think Billy would employ me? You know, disabled people camaraderie…”

Dwight and Michael were leaving as well, and now only Angela, Jim, Pam, Stanley and Toby remained in the parking lot.

“Pam, there are stickers on where to sign, right? You guys can leave, I will sign and call Jan to update her on the accident…”

Stanley gladly picked his suitcase, hidden behind his car, and left without a word.

“I will be more comfortable if I stay to guarantee the expense reports are correctly signed and delivered,” stated Angela.

“I have to stay to close the office, so it doesn't really matter,” replied Toby.

Pam didn't say a thing, but followed them to the building nevertheless. Jan accepted that Jim could sign not only in Micheal’s absence, but also “whenever it makes the workflow better”. Which meant it was his duty now.

In about five minutes, they were halfway through the papers. Jim figured he was probably enlarging the snowball of workload by signing documents which purpose he didn’t know, but he would think about it better on the next time around. Right now, all he wanted was to enjoy the weekend. With Karen, of course.

A small thump afar distracted them for a couple of seconds. But then there was silence, so they got back to watching Jim sign forms. A huge crash came from the lower floor, and they knew something was wrong at Vance Refrigerators.

“Pam, call the pick-up. I will just make sure everyone is ok at Vance before finishing…”

As Jim was heading to the door, two hooded men entered holding small, but certainly lethal guns.

Something was wrong. Michael was taking too long inside the doctor's office. Angela was taking too much to reply his texts. Dwight’s intuition was making his skin shiver.

“Don't you think I need a wheelchair? Or maybe a cast, I'm sure my team would love to sign it…”

“No, sir, just rest and take the painkillers if needed. By Monday you'll be good to go.”

The doctor closed the door behind Michael as fast as he could.

“How is it?”

“Oh, you won't believe me, they gave me that medieval treatment…”

“Your joint was dislocated and they made a closed reduction?”

“God, no, they just put it back into place, but they also gave me a lot of painkillers to deal with…”

“Something is wrong at Dunder Mifflin and I must investigate. Are you coming with me?”

“Dwight, how do you think that it's more important than a convalescist friend…”

“The word is convalescent, so I will take you to your condo before going back to the office.”

“Okay, okay, you got me… c'mon, Dwight, you should try to be less dependent on me. But the doctor said I can't sign any paper.”

“Affirmative.”

Both men tried to convince the robbers there was no money in the office, but everyone was so scared they just gave up their cell phones and let themselves be locked up in the supply room. Although they could hear the main office being searched, the biggest concern now was Pam. She was crying, trembling and starting to hyperventilate, clearly on the verge of a breakdown.

“Pam, they will see there is nothing to steal and leave, calm down, we'll be released soon.”

“Hey, do you remember when we made that trap for Dwight and he was stuck in the hallway? I guess we have to work on a commercial prototype for it, that would be an excellent security system, compared to what we have…”

Pam was trying to talk, but ended up breathing harder and worsening her situation. Angela watched her with a resentful look, then got her a pill from the first aid box she kept in the small room.

“Take this, Pam, it's a calming tablet.”

She almost dropped the pill, which would be a problem in the confined space, but Jim grabbed it mid air.

“You know, I was a little hurt when Stanley left us, but now I'm glad he is safely at home.”

Nobody laughed at Jim's joke. It took some minutes, but Pam's breath was getting steady again. The rummaging men knocked on the door.

“You didn't call the cops, right? We're gonna kill you all if the cops arrive.”

They looked at Pam, who was fighting to keep standing with heavy eyelids.

“Em, no. No, we were actually going to call the pick-up guy, we've stayed to send some papers to corporate, but we didn't finish the call,” Jim did his best to keep the robbers calm.

“Damn it, that's what happened,” they heard the men outside murmur. “Let's go, we gotta finish it and leave now.”

Everyone was so focused on the noises outside that they nearly jumped at the sound Pam made when she stumbled on the shelves, making some supplies fall.

“C'mon, sleepyhead, you can have my shoulder,” Jim helped her finding a reasonably comfortable position to sleep while standing.

“Calming tab, um?”

“Of course not, Toby, don't be stupid. That was my emergency sleeping pill.”

By the time Dwight made it to the police department, some officers were getting ready to engage.

“Good evening, sheriff. I'm former Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff's deputy, Dwight Schrute, and I was wondering if some men could follow me to the Dunder Mifflin offices, where…”

“Scranton Business Park, um? We got an odd call from there, it took us a while to track, but the boys are leaving any time… do you have any information?”

“No, sir, thank you for your consideration.”

Back to the car, where Michael was nursing his arm, Dwight put on his sunglasses, even though it was dark, and handed Michael a scarf.

“What is that?”

“We are in an undercover mission, Michael… watch and learn.”

They parked at a small distance from the building. It didn't take five minutes to a suspicious van to leave, and Dwight took note of the plate.

“I'm not sure if they are leaving or calling for reinforcements… we must stay put.”

Angela's car was the next one leaving, but the two occupants of the vehicle were clearly men, all dressed in black and with covered faces. Dwight was starting the car when the police units arrived.

“Don't worry I was supposed to meet Karen at the movies by seven thirty, so she will probably figure out something is odd soon… by the way, Toby, I know this is bad timing, but I would like disclose my relationship with Karen Filippelli to HR.”

“It's ok, Jim, she informed Stamford's HR so it already came in your file on the merge.”

“Oh…”

Angela looked at them, not with the expected disdain, but almost crying.

“I… I would like to disclose my relationship with Dwight to HR”, both men looked bewildered at her. “And I'm sure he will find us sooner. And if I ever get out of here, I'll marry him. And make our relationship public.”

“Well, that was unexpected. If I ever get out of here, I'll go after Jessica. She was my high school sweetheart and I guess I never got over her. She moved to Chicago for college and I never got to see her again.”

“If I ever get out of here…” Pam shifted in his chest when Jim spoke. He looked down, trying to remember how she went from head leaning against his shoulder to full nested on his arms, and by the way he was embracing her, it was definitely not a one side movement. “You know what, I'll stay here a little longer to think about it.”

As if waiting for a cue, they heard people entering the office.

“Scranton PD, don't move!”

Angela started slamming the door and telling they were held hostages.

“Excuse me, officer”, a familiar voice came from outside. “Stand clear of the door.”

Dwight broke the door open in two kicks.

“Isn't that the supply room key?”, asked Michael, retrieving something on the floor.

“Irrelevant.”

Angela jumped into her boyfriend's arms, much to his amusement.

“It's ok, Dwight, she has properly disclosed your relationship to HR.”

“WOW, so Angela is actually straight, right?”

“Yes, Michael, she is. Wake Pamela up, Jim, we must press charge at the precinct now. God, how could she sleep in such an occasion…”

Jim was trying to make the situation a little less awkward by detangling themselves before waking her up.

“Pam, the cops arrived…”

And as if a spell was broken, she was fully awaken.

“Oh my God, the cops! Is everyone…”

“Yes, Pam, they arrived after the robbers left. Now I must confess I was also afraid what would have happened if they figured you have called the police…”, Angela said.

Jim felt his stomach sink as he looked back at her. She was not afraid of the robbers themselves, but that she had put them in trouble.

They all agreed that Toby would stay with the investigators to wait for the insurance company. Michael left telling the fabulous tale of how he single handed freed his working mates from a hostage situation. Angela and Dwight walked together, an odd perfect match. Jim and Pam were quietly talking about how nervous she got, and how she was never going to take anything Angela offered her again. Karen called about ten minutes later.

By the time Toby received permission to close the office, it was about midnight. And he really needed to catch some sleep, for it would be a long ride to Chicago.