Captain and Tennille blared from the speakers as Michael and an uncomfortable Ryan sang an off-key rendition of “Love Will Keep Us Together.”  Dwight looked on in thinly veiled contempt as Ryan carefully inched away from Michael in a failed attempt to flee the scene.

            As much as Pam secretly enjoyed the comical display, her interest was waning.  Tonight was a rare occasion-she almost never had the opportunity to have fun with her fellow Dunder Mifflinites.  Most Friday nights consisted of an evening at home, stretched out on the couch sketching as Roy watched reruns of “The Iron Chef” while guzzling a Miller Light.  Occasionally they would venture out to the nearby Cinema Center and see a movie, usually of the Steven Segal oeuvre, during which she would doze off after a long day at work.

            Tonight was a pleasant change from her mundane routine.  Glancing to her right, she noticed Jim grinning as he nursed a Coke, careful not to choke as Michael attempted to put his arm around Ryan’s waist, who resisted his affections.  Apparently Michael couldn’t take a hint, which resulted in Ryan knocking him into the karaoke machine.  The song began to skip and the festivities were soon forgotten as the crowd dispersed. 

            “Looks like I’m on damage control.”  Jim set down his can of soda and helped Michael up before turning off the karaoke machine. 

            Pam peeked at her watch and frowned in disappointment.  It was only 8:30 and the party seemed to be slowing down.  Michael must have noticed too as he attempted to rouse his employees into a limbo tournament.  Surprisingly, a line formed behind him as an eager Dwight offered to hold the required stick.  Making eye contact with Pam, Jim motioned with his head toward the stairs.  She gave him a quick smile before setting down her purse.

            “We made it out just in time.”  Jim followed her up the stairs and around the corner.

            Pam paused in the doorway to his room.  “There could’ve been serious damage had we decided to participate in any group activities.”

            Jim held up a bag of Sun Chips and the last beer, tilting his head inside the room.  “Good thing I come prepared for situations like this.”  She slowly made her way inside, unsure of where to stand.  Her eyes danced around the room, admiring the little details she hadn’t caught before.  A French poster behind his bed, the guitar he started playing his junior year of high school, his favorite comic strips he had cut from different newspapers, pictures of his mom and brother- everything that made him Jim.

            From the corner of her eye she could see him looking at her discreetly, clutching the bag of chips in his hands.  She shuffled her feet and smiled at the awkwardness of the situation.  Her gaze shifted toward his bed and she eased herself onto it carefully, making sure not to rustle the sheets.  He followed her lead and made his way to the other side of the bed, handing her both his pillows. 

            They both leaned back, squirming to find the most comfortable spot.  For Jim, that was nearly impossible, the only thought going through his mind was that PAM WAS LYING ON HIS BED.

            They sat in silence, Pam pinching the striped sheets as Jim rubbed his feet together, mentally kicking himself for choosing the socks with the hole in the big toe.  He decided not to dwell on the small things.  “Chips?” 

She smiled and opened the bag, setting them between their legs.  They munched in silence for a few moments before Pam opened a beer, taking a sip.  “Stimulating conversation, Halpert.”  She handed him the beer, a mischievous look in her eyes. 

He arched his eyebrow and took the bottle from her hand, accepting her unsaid invitation.  “I’m sorry Beesley, what would you like to discuss?  Politics, perhaps?”

She brought her finger to her chin and thought for a moment.  “Women in the work environment.”  He feigned a look of terror and shrunk back on the bed, making it squeak slightly.  “You mean how they don’t belong there?”  Pam laughed and shoved him playfully, making their beer slip from his hand and spill in his lap. 

She stuttered, her hands flying over him.  “Oh, Jim…I’m…I really wasn’t…” 

He laughed, picking up the near-empty bottle and setting it on the floor.  “Pam.” She was using her shirt to wipe at the stain forming on his pants.  He smiled, taking her hands in his.  “Pam, it’s fine.”  She frowned, her lip jutting out.  “Besides, these pants don’t really display the fantasticness that is my ass.”

She looked down at her hands in his, their fingers intertwined together.  Her right pinkie lightly rubbed at a callus on his palm.  “Fantasticness?  Wow, a new word.”  She looked up and noticed the smile threatening to break his face.  She felt his thumb rub the underside of her palm.  “What can I say?  I’m full of surprises.”  She noticed the playful look in his eyes and her heart started to beat a little faster.  Looking away, she untangled her hands and moved to her side of the bed.  “You should wash your pants.” 

He nodded his head in agreement.  “Yeah, I will” he shifted his body forward, “later.”  Unsure of why he wouldn’t want to change his beer-stained pants, Pam simply nodded.  They both grabbed a handful of chips, their mutual munching breaking the silence. 

Jim glanced in her direction, unable to read her expression.  She was thinking about something, causing her brow to knit and lower lip to gut out. 

“What’s your greatest fear?”  His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden question.  “You mean besides Dwight having children?”  He studied his hands for a moment.  There were many answers to that particular question.  “I don’t want to be eighty years old and come to the realization that I never went after the things I wanted.”  He looked at Pam, gauging her reaction.  She blinked, staring straight ahead of her.  “What about you?”

She gave no response for an entire minute and he was beginning to worry she hadn’t heard him.  Finally, Pam looked at him, her face serious.  “Sharks.” 

His mouth opened and closed a few times, before he let out a loud, full laugh.  She laughed right along with him, her eyes wide.  “I’m serious.  Ever since I was little.”  He stretched out so his body was flat on the bed, a hand in his hair as he continued to laugh.  She copied his movements, except she turned her body to face him fully, propping one hand to support her head.  “I saw ‘Jaws’ and ever since…” she trailed off, her smile disappearing.  “Well, let’s just say I don’t go to the ocean often.”  His laughter trailed off and he finally saw the pain that marred her face.  He had to force his hand not to reach out and touch her, comfort her. 

She snuggled deeper into his pillows, breathing in his unique Jim scent.  Something about being here with him had a calming effect on her.  She felt safe, like she could be completely open and honest, and it wouldn’t matter.  “Sometimes I’ll stand in the shower till the water turns cold.  Close my eyes and imagine I’m under water.  I look up and I can see the sun reflecting off the surface of the water.  But I’m sinking and the light is getting farther and farther away, until it’s completely dark.”  She closes her eyes, as if reliving the scene in her mind.

He turned his head, finally allowing himself to truly look at her.  He watched her chest rise and fall, her breathing becoming slower after each intake.  She seemed so peaceful; he didn’t want to rouse her.  He could see the swell of her breasts underneath the cotton fabric.  Her sweater had risen up, giving him a view of the pale skin of her stomach.  He remembered when he had picked her up at the dojo, right before she had told him to put her down, how soft the skin of her stomach had felt.  Shaking himself from his thoughts, he suddenly realized his predicament and leapt up from the bed.  Jolted from her dream-like state, Pam opened her eyes to see Jim standing at the edge of the bed, a panicked look on his face. 

           He walked briskly toward the entryway, then paused.  “I, uh…” He glanced at her for a second.  “I’m going to make sure everything’s alright downstairs.”  He gestured out the door and left the room.

            Pam stared after him for a moment, confusion written across her face.  What just happened?  Deciding not to dwell on it, she flopped back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling.  There were a million things she had to do at home: wash the dishes Roy had neglected to do, sort and wash the past week’s clothes, balance her checkbook, and if she was feeling especially perky, begin cleaning the basement.  Tonight was supposed to be about having fun, relieving stress.  And she was enjoying herself- just being here, with friends.  With Jim.  Tonight she was able to be herself and forget…well, forget a lot of things. 

What was taking so long?  It had only been a minute, but she was growing restless.  She decided to freshen up a bit before venturing downstairs.  Pam got up from the bed and made her way out into the hall and around the corner toward the bathroom.  Remembering the tour Jim had given earlier, she smiled knowing exactly where to go.  She paused outside the door to the bathroom, straining to hear if anyone was inside.  The door wasn’t entirely closed, light filtering out from the crack.  Confident no one was inside, she placed her hand on the knob and swung the door open.  That’s when she saw him. 

He was hunched over the sink, one hand gripping the counter, the other wrapped around his rigid penis.  He staggered and, upon seeing her, attempted to shield his obvious erection while putting it away.  “Oh shit, Pam, I…this isn’t…”

“No Jim, it’s my fault, I should’ve knocked...I didn’t know…” Realizing she was staring at his crotch, she quickly looked up.  His face was beet red, one hand running through his hair nervously. 

Neither spoke as painful silence filled the room.  Unable to think clearly or form words, she turned away, bumping into the door and closing it in the process.  She clenched her hands and looked down at her feet.  “I’ll…I’ll let you…” Oh god, she was stammering.  “I’ll get out of your way.”  Her hand shook as she tried to grip the handle, finally becoming still enough for her to open the door and leave the room.

Letting out a huge breath of air, Jim leaned over the sink, his hands shaking on the cold tile.  He had never been more mortified in his life.  She had been on his bed, he could smell her, practically touch her, and he couldn’t keep it together.  And now she would never talk to him again. 

He took deep breaths in an attempt to get his body under control.  He was still thinking of a way to salvage their friendship when the door swung open, Pam on the other side.  She looked frazzled and nervous, unable to meet his eyes.  After a moment she slowly made her way over to him, still not making eye contact. 

“Listen, Pam, I’m so sorry…” He was shocked into silence when he felt her left hand touch his wrist, lightly brushing the hair there.  Unsure of her movements, he froze when he felt the fingers of her other hand at his belt.  He sucked in a gulp of air as she carefully raised her eyes to meet his.  He saw the fear in them and knew it was mirrored in his own. 

They stayed like that for a moment, neither able to move.  She finally moved her left hand down, entwining her smaller fingers with his larger ones.  “You think about me?”  His mouth opened, a questioning look on his face.  She paused for a moment, her thumb running along the outside of his hand.  “When you…” She bit her lip, unable to utter the words.  Shocked by her gumption, he didn’t know how to respond. 

“Pam, there’s something…” She leaned forward, eyes focused on his lips.  It was hard for him to concentrate with her so close to him.  “There’s something you should know…”  She finally looked up into his eyes.  “Jim, it’s okay.”  Her mouth was a breath away.  “I know.”  And with those words she closed the gap, a sigh escaping his lips right before they touched hers. 

He hesitated at first, unsure of himself.  He felt her hand move from his belt to his hair, a shiver running up his spine as her nails thread through the hair at the nape of his neck.  Relaxing into the kiss, he used his left hand to press her body against him fully.  Her lips nipped lightly at his, her tongue running along his bottom lip, seeking to gain entry.  He complied and the moment her tongue entered his mouth he felt a bolt of electricity head straight towards his painfully erect penis. 

All he wanted to do was slam her against the door and rip her underwear off, but he restrained himself.  Following his better judgment, he simply enjoyed the feeling of having her in his arms, her mouth doing heavenly things to his own.  His hand wandered to her right breast, pinching the already hardened nipple.  He switched to the other breast, giving it the same attention as the previous one.  The hand running through his hair suddenly slipped back to his waist, tugging his belt from the loops and sliding his zipper down.  The moment her hand wrapped around him, his mind went into overdrive and all rational thought left the room.  Her thumb ran along the tip of his penis, then she slowly dragged her hand down, and back up again.  Each time her hand went to the base of his shaft, her fingers lightly brushed his balls, giving him an extra jolt of pleasure. 

He broke their fevered kissing, a loud groan escaping his lips.  She watched his face as she continued to stroke him; she could feel herself getting wetter as she noticed the different emotions contort his features.  Suddenly he grabbed her hand, stilling her movements.  “Pam…I can’t last much longer.” 

She paused a moment, looking into his eyes.  The mix of love, pain, lust and yearning was enough to break her heart and she felt the tears threatening to fall.  But she refused to stop now.  There was no going back.  She started to stroke his penis again, causing him to jerk involuntarily.  He tilted her head up, pushing his tongue into her mouth.  Distracting her with his lips, he slowly unbuttoned her pants. His hand crept down, cupping her through the cotton of her underwear.  She mewled in pleasure and he took that as his cue to continue.  Pushing her panties aside, he swirled his finger around, avoiding her clit.  She growled into his mouth and tugged hard on his penis, causing him to yelp and laugh at the same time.  She broke apart their kiss, staring at him.  Pam tried not to smile, but folded under his boyish grin.

They stared at each other, wonder reflected in both their eyes.  They panted, short breaths escaping them as they reveled in each other’s arousal.  He lowered his head, barely brushing his lips across hers.  A sigh escaped her mouth as she felt his finger slowly circle her engorged clit.  She began to caress his shaft when he stilled her movements and abruptly removed his hand from her underwear, causing her to grunt in annoyance.  Putting his hands on her waist, he turned her body so she faced the mirror.  He edged up behind her, encircling her body with his arms.  Taking her right hand, he pulled it behind her and placed it on his crotch.  Following his direction, she began to fondle him. 

She watched in the mirror, mesmerized, as he lowered his hand down her pants, once more rubbing her clit.  He took her left hand and threaded his fingers through hers as her eyes met his in the mirror.   He smiled and breathed deeply, kissing her neck, all the while never breaking eye contact.  Then he pushed one finger into her.  She cried out from the intense pleasure, her body bending forward.  Gripping his hand with her own, she held on as a wave of intense pleasure rolled through her.  Using his arm to hold her against him, he added another finger and increased the pressure.  He couldn’t hold out much longer, but he wanted her to come with him.  She tipped her head back, panting against his ear as she writhed against him.  They both increased their actions, eager to find release.  Lifting her head, she looked into his eyes as the wave of pleasure reached its crescendo and she came, shaking in his arms.  Seeing her climax was the final push he needed, her hand giving one last squeeze as he finished. 

Unable to catch their breath, they stood slumped over the sink, Jim gripping her hand tightly.  Not wanting to suffocate her, he gave her neck one last kiss and straightened up, pulling her with him.  She looked at him in the mirror once more before pulling her hand from his pants, and he did the same.  Taking a moment to collect herself and straighten her clothing, Pam looked up to find Jim staring at her.  She felt a pang of sorrow as the reality of the situation hit her.  “Jim, this can’t ever…” She looked down, folding her arms across her chest.  “I’m still with Roy.”  He looked around the bathroom, anywhere but at her.  If he allowed himself to look at her, he would want to kiss her again, and they had already crossed the line.  “I know.”

She forced herself to turn around, slowly edging toward the door, pausing in the entryway.  “I wish…I wish things could be different.”  Not waiting for a response, she closed the door and walked through the house, grabbing her purse along the way.  She didn’t respond when Phyllis and Oscar said goodbye, nor when Michael tried to give her a hug.  Only when she reached her car did she allow the sobs to overtake her body.