Chapter 2

Much later, it occurred to Jim that, in order to win their bet, it made no sense for him to bid for Karen at the auction. This, he supposed, would make things terribly awkward.  As her boyfriend, he couldn’t see himself sitting by while other men bid on her, but then again, he wanted to win, and he definitely wanted to win those extra vacation days. If he chose not to bid at all, he would be taking away his chance of being high bidder on someone and getting his extra days off by that route.

And so he spent a few minutes mentally working out whom he might safely bid for. Phyliss was off the table with Bob Vance there. Kelly was a good friend, and a friendly date with her wouldn’t be so bad, he supposed, but Ryan might be an impediment (if he knew what was good for him). There was Meredith, of course, but he always felt vaguely uncomfortable in her presence. Jim was by no means vain, but the way Meredith looked at him sometimes made him feel like a sex object. Had he been even remotely attracted to her, that wouldn’t be an issue, but he didn’t want to give her the wrong idea by throwing his money her way.

There was Madge from the warehouse, but he believed she was married, or had a boyfriend, and with Angela out of the running, that left, of course, Pam.

Pam.

God.

He became warm just thinking of the possibility of a date with her, friendly or otherwise. He looked guiltily from his computer screen, where he’d been staring blankly for some minutes, to see Karen busy on the phone. One bid on Pam would mean the end of his relationship with Karen, of that he had no doubt. Feeling restless, he rose and headed for the kitchen.

He was still shaking his head to himself in the break room at how overly complicated this whole thing had become.  He had just taken his first sip of his three o’clock coffee, when Pam herself walked in, smiled shyly at him. “Hey,” she said, walking past him to the vending machines. Karen was still tied up on her sales call, something he confirmed with a quick glance toward her desk before responding to Pam.

“Hey. So,” he heard himself saying, “an auction.”

She selected chips and a Diet Coke and turned back to him, snacks in hand. She hesitated, then sat a table away, though politely facing him. It tore at his heart that they couldn’t even sit at the same table anymore, but he quickly tried to mask the feeling.

“Yeah,” she replied, opening her chips. “Michael and his crazy ideas.  What charity are you donating to?”

“Special Olympics.”

“Oh wow. That’s great.  I guess that combines your love of kids with your love of sports.”

He smiled. She really did know him better than anyone. Karen had to ask him why when he’d told her. “There’s also the added bonus of the Olympics aspect to it,” he added, their eyes meeting in shared remembrance of their Office Olympics last year. Those had been good times, bittersweet now.

He cleared his throat. “So, are you putting yourself on the meat market?”

“I don’t know. It might be worth it for the days off, but then, is it worth the possible humiliation?”

He chuckled. “There is that.”

“Kelly pointed out that it could be a way to meet someone new, I mean, if you’re single. Which I uh, am.”

He noted her blush of embarrassment, and empathized. This really was an awkward conversation for the two of them to be having. He’d tried to be friends with her, but it had backfired with Karen and with his own mixed emotions where she was concerned. She was no longer with Roy, a fact of which he was constantly aware. He’d wished for that for so long, that even though he wasn’t in the position to do anything about it, the idea of it still weighed on him, fueling his dreams at night and his random thoughts throughout the day. He’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit how tempting this knowledge was, how…painful. But while she was free, he reminded himself, he most definitely was not.

“Yeah,” he answered her casually. He couldn’t think of anything else to say aloud, though his mind raced with questions, with funny things he might have mentioned a year ago, like whom she would bid for, or humorously speculate about who else in the office would bid for whom. This topic was rich with opportunities to ridicule and poke fun, but it was all lost to them now.  Suddenly, it was overwhelmingly sad to him, and he found himself rising to his feet, taking his coffee with him.

“Well, back to the salt mines,” he said with forced brightness.

He paused when he saw the sad little smile she gave him, realizing that she felt it too. The loss. “See ya,” she said softly.

The urge to say something, to commiserate with her, washed over him, and he’d even gone so far as to open his mouth when Karen came in.

“You leaving already?” she asked him. “Sorry. I couldn’t get that guy from Jones and Hart off the phone.”

“A lawyer who likes to talk,” he said wryly. “Who knew? Yeah, I’m on my way back out. I need to call back a client.”

Karen looked disappointed, but Jim knew his limitations. He had to get out of there. His girlfriend and the love of his life in the same room was just too much for him at the moment.  Some might call that cowardice; Jim thought of it as self preservation.

Pam watched him leave, avoiding Karen’s eyes as the other woman walked through to the kitchen. She supposed she had to face the facts once and for all that she and Jim would never happen, that it just wasn’t meant to be. As much as she loved him, there was too much insurmountable hurt between them, and Roy attacking him had been the last straw. Not to mention he was clearly committed to Karen. Maybe it would be worth a try to put herself out there—literally—and see who might want her enough to bid for her. And if it proved mortifying, well, she would be no worse off than she was right now.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The night of the auction, Kelly came over to Pam’s small apartment, makeup case in tow, straighteners and curling wands and other beauty accoutrements in a small suitcase that she pulled behind her. They had gone shopping two nights before, and Pam had blown what she might have spent bidding on someone herself (not that there was anyone besides Jim that appealed to her) on a slinky black dress that just hit her ankles. She would wear a pair of strappy silver sandals with a kitten heel, despite Kelly’s encouragement to go higher for maximum sex appeal. Pam had countered that it wouldn’t be too sexy if she fell on her ass walking up the stairs to the stage.

What made the dress especially daring was that it was a backless halter with a keyhole that rested just over her ample cleavage. She couldn’t possibly wear a bra with it, and she was secretly proud that the girls were still firm and high on their own.  There was a side slit that stopped above one knee, allowing her to move more freely in the form-fitting dress. She was a little self- conscious about how bold it was, but Kelly insisted that was a sure way to up the bidding.

“We won’t need to go overboard on the hair and makeup,” Kelly told her. “Maybe a smooth updo and just a dramatic, smoky eye. We don’t want to take away from that rockin’ body of yours.”

Pam winced. “You sure it’s not too much? I mean, it’s not like anything I would ever wear.”

“That’s the idea, Pam.  You want to look mysterious…alluring.”

“Okay,” she said skeptically.

“You’ll totally thank me later, I promise.”

By the time Kelly was finished with her, Pam peered at the enticing stranger staring back at her in the full-length mirror. She couldn’t remember ever looking more beautiful in her life. True to her word, Kelly had done her face makeup simply, in nude tones, including her lipstick, but her eyes were lined with smudged black kohl, with gray on the lid and a touch of silver at the inner corners. Kelly had straightened her hair then fashioned it into sleek, low bun. The only jewelry she wore were small diamond studs in her ears. She looked sexy and sophisticated, and she couldn’t help imagining what Jim would think when he saw her.

“Oh. My. God. You are sooo hot,” Kelly gushed. “Those men won’t know what hit ‘em!”

“Thanks, Kelly. I don’t even recognize myself.”

Much to Pam’s amusement, Kelly had gotten the same dress, only in a bright green. She even styled her hair the same way.  She stood next to Pam, admiring both of them in the mirror.

“We could be twins,” she teased.

Pam laughed. “Sisters from another mister.”

They grabbed their matching beaded clutches and piled into Pam’s Yaris.

The party planning committee had spent the last two weeks working with the warehouse staff to set up a stage and decorate for the auction, trying their best not to interfere too much with their regular work. The warehouse guys and Madge had all been invited to participate, but only Darryl and Lonny had shown an interest. The two men were the first people they saw when they came in the loading bay door, and the women were impressed with their formal wear and excited grins.

“You guys really clean up nice,” said Kelly, in awe of the muscular bodies encased in their Sunday best.

Pam looked around the transformed warehouse, pleased with the straight rows of folding chairs, two long tables in back filled with hors d’oeuvres and small plates and napkins. Angela was there, still wearing her clothes from work that day, making sure there were enough serving utensils. There was a bar, and their lone outside hire was a cute male bartender, who would sell and prepare the drinks, the proceeds of which would go to charity.  Pam left Kelly feeling Darryl and Lonny’s flexing biceps and wandered back to the refreshment tables.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” she said to Angela.

Angela turned to look at Pam with disapproving eyes at her appearance.

“Well, it’s for charity, but I don’t have to parade around on the stage like a--.” She had the wherewithal not to finish the sentence, even blushing a little.

“Of course not,” Pam said coldly. “It’s for charity, though, as you said.”

Dwight joined them, complete in his dead grandfather’s tuxedo, and Pam took her cue to leave.

Slowly, the warehouse began to fill up. Michael, who would act as MC as well as be a bachelor up for auction, arrived, looking dapper in his tuxedo, Jan on his arm in a scarlet cocktail dress. Phyllis arrived with Bob, and she moved to man the sign-in table near the large door, handing out bidding paddles and directing attendees to their seats, pointing out that the first two rows were reserved for the auction participants. They had no idea how many people were coming, but by the looks of things, all seventy-five chairs were well on their way to being taken.

Pam climbed the stairs to the stage to check that the microphone was working, then took note of the sign hanging above her that proclaimed the occasion, listing the charities that would benefit from the night’s entertainment.

As she was frowning at the misspelling of Olympics, she heard the timbre of Jim’s unmistakable voice, Karen’s answering laugh. Her heart fluttering, she turned on the stage to look at him. He was incredibly handsome in a tuxedo, his hair brushed back from his forehead in a pseudo pompadour, drawing attention to his laughing hazel eyes and expressive eyebrows. Apparently, he’d pulled out all the stops for the bet against Karen. Karen too looked gorgeous, but Pam stifled a laugh when she saw that she and Kelly were wearing the same colored dresses. The style of Karen’s was different—strapless and knee length—but the trendy fluorescent wouldn’t be quite the spotlight stealer she’d probably planned on. Naturally, Kelly came running up to her in her spiked heels to greet her “Twinkie.” In the onslaught of Kelly’s excited chatter, Jim looked up and saw Pam. His jaw literally dropped.

His gaze raked helplessly up and down her body, lingering on her breasts before stopping at her face, and she stood there, flushing as she watched him taking her in.  When their gazes locked, his cheeks were tinged red too at having been caught staring, his eyes dark with admiration. As if she were having an outer-body experience, she gave him a slow, seductive smile, allowing herself to openly show her feminine appreciation. He swallowed hard, his hand going up to absently loosen his collar.  This other woman that had suddenly possessed her, smiled at him confidently, knowingly.

Karen, oblivious to the sexual tension passing between her boyfriend and another woman, reached up to brush Jim’s hand away from his neck.

“Hey,” she said, annoyed, “it took me a half-hour to get that tie right.”

He reluctantly broke eye contact with Pam. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Doesn’t Pam look amazing,” Kelly said. Sweet, loyal Kelly, who naturally had figured out long ago why Jim had really left Scranton. Karen followed Kelly’s nod and Pam saw a brief flash of envy there, before she relaxed into a practiced smile.

“I almost didn’t recognize her,” Karen commented, echoing Pam’s own words from an hour before.  Judging by her tightly wound expression, Karen wasn’t too happy about her observation, leaving Pam to wonder if her words were really a compliment.

“I know, right?” said Kelly. “Jim, what do you think?” Leave it to Kelly to push just a tad too far.

“She looks nice,” he said, too casually. Pam walked down the steps to join the trio.

“Thanks,” she said to Jim. “You guys don’t look half bad yourselves.”

“Anyone else want a drink?” Jim asked tightly.

“Could you get me a white wine, babe,” asked Karen, just as they were waylaid by Michael, tugging a reluctant Jan by the hand.

“Sure,” said Jim. 

“Wowza!” exclaimed Michael with regard to the women. “How lucky am I to have such babalicious babes working for me!”

“Thanks, Michael,” the women chorused awkwardly.

“We’d never get any work done if you girls looked like this every day.”

“Michael, I don’t think that’s appropriate,” chastened Jan, a jealous eye shot toward Pam.

Jim’s eyes widened. “Uh, I’ll go get those drinks now.”

Kelly said she was waiting for Ryan to start drinking, and Pam nodded to the others before following after Jim toward the bar.

“Phew,” said Pam with a laugh once they’d made their escape.

They stood side-by-side while Oscar waited for his own order, and the three made small talk about the crowd and the events to come.  When Oscar took away his margarita, Jim nodded at Pam to go first. She ordered a Cosmo, and he laughed.

“What?” she said. “If it’s good enough for Carrie Bradshaw…”

He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just not used to this new Beesly.”

“You don’t approve?” she asked with one challenging eyebrow.

His expression softened. “I didn’t say that.” The bartender had to clear his throat to tear Jim’s attention away from her, and Pam felt a little dizzy, his nearness and the scent of his cologne making her feel hot all over.

Jim ordered a double scotch for himself and a white wine for Karen. He dug into the inside pocket of his tuxedo for his wallet, placed a twenty on the bar.

“It’s on me,” he told her.

She smiled. “Thanks.”

They stood away from the bar a moment so Meredith could order, and Jim shuddered a little as Meredith gave him a feline grin and fairly devoured him with her eyes. Pam grinned.

“I bet she’ll be your top bidder,” she remarked, sipping her drink.

“Oh, God.”

Confident Pam smiled. “I wouldn’t blame her.” She was blatantly flirting with him, meeting his eyes above her glass, and she noticed his hand shook a little as he brought his own drink to his lips and took a deep swallow.

“Uh, Karen’s probably needing her drink by now,” he said, forcing his eyes toward his girlfriend, who was being mercilessly chatted up by Kelly.

“Yeah, you’d better go rescue her.” She raised her glass.  “Thanks for the drink.”

She turned to leave him then, wishing she could see his expression when he saw her bare back as she walked away, consciously increasing the natural sway of her hips in her tight gown.  She felt a surge of power as she made her way down the aisle between the rows of chairs, stopping to say hello to Kevin, who openly ogled her breasts, and Toby, who blushed to his hairline when she smiled at him and complimented his tux. All the while, she felt Jim’s eyes on her, and her heart rate stayed elevated and expectant.

She wondered why she was suddenly feeling more hopeful where Jim was concerned. It wasn’t as if anything had really changed. She supposed it had a lot to do with the empowerment she felt, knowing how good she looked, Jim’s undeniable masculine reaction to her. It was too much to ask that he bid on her, since Karen would be there, and she knew he was still understandably wary of her, given their history. But the way he looked at her, spoke to her, smiled at her was enough to make her wonder if he still had feelings for her. For Pam, that was enough for now.

“What a turnout,” said Pam to Phyllis, joining her at the door. Everyone from the Scranton office was there, and a sprinkling of others from the some of the other, neighboring branches. But there were a lot of people from the local community who wanted to witness the spectacle as well as donate to charity.

“Let me know if you want a break.”

Phyllis smiled. “Don’t you worry about a thing. You’re dressed to kill tonight. You should be mingling, shoring up your bids for later.”

Pam laughed. “I’d be lucky to get even half of what you’re about to get from Bob.”

“You might,” she said doubtfully, touching her hair proudly and glancing lovingly toward her husband, who was talking with Kevin, Michael, and, Pam saw, her stomach dropping, Todd Packer.

“Oh my God,” she said. “Packer’s here?”

Phyllis shared her disgust. “Yeah. If I had my way I would have told him to leave.  He makes my skin crawl. But at least if he says anything to me tonight, Bob will kick his ass.”

“Will he do it for me too?” Pam asked, only half kidding.

“Just stay away from him, hon, and I’ll have Bob keep an eye on you.”

It was finally time for the auction to begin, and Michael made his way to the stage, turning on the microphone, calling for everyone to take their seats. Naturally, he started with a few lame jokes, then went directly to the auction, standing at a podium, complete with a gavel, for emphasis. He explained to the crowd how they would not only be bidding for a date with the bachelor or bachelorette of their choice, but also for the charity of their choice.

“Now, the first item up for bid,” he said with a wide grin, “is a young man who started with us just two short years ago as a temp. Today, he’s a junior salesman, on his way to bigger and better things, I’m sure. His charity of choice will be”—and he looked down on his clipboard—"World United Puppy Home Fostering—wow, that’s a mouthful. Ha! That’s what she said. Last year’s winner for hottest in the office…Ryan Howard!”

Ryan did look especially nice in his electric blue suit that exactly matched his eyes, and he bounded up the stairs, waving and smiling amidst the applause.

“Okay, let’s start the bidding for Ryan at—”

“One thousand dollars!” Kelly said immediately, standing and raising her bidding paddle.

“Wow!” said Michael. “That’s a lot. But I guess you’d know better than anyone if he’s worth it, if you know what I mean.”  Michael avoided Jan’s frowning head shake on the front row.

“Oh, he is! He is!” said Kelly.

“So that’s a thousand on the table,” Michael continued.  “Anyone want to go to eleven-hundred?”

Kelly turned toward the rest of the audience, giving warning looks that actually made one woman quickly rethink raising her paddle.

“Okay, going once…going twice…sold! To Kelly Kapoor and the puppies!” And Michael pounded the gavel excitedly. The first bid had been an amazing success.

There was enthusiastic applause while Kelly ran up the steps of the stage to hug her purchase. Ryan met the crestfallen eyes of the three young college girls he’d met at Poor Richard’s the other night when Kelly wasn’t with him. He’d told them he was up for auction, and since he couldn’t choose between them, the highest bidder would decide. He’d been drunk enough that he’d forgotten he had a girlfriend.

Phyllis, then Darryl were next, Phyllis going to her husband for $5000; Darryl caught flatteringly in a bidding war between a local realtor and the bank manager of Scranton Federal. He was happy with the outcome: he’d been looking to buy a house.  Toby was snatched up by a friend of his mother’s who was on many philanthropic boards in town. Stacy bid and handily won Kevin; and Gil beat out a woman from Accounting at the Utica branch to win Oscar.

Things got a little less predictable when Karen was introduced.

“One of our newest salespeople here at Scranton,” Michael said. “She’s set many a heart on fire around the office, especially our own Jim Halpert’s.” Kevin let out a loud wolf whistle that hurt Pam’s ears. Pam caught Jim’s bland expression, while Karen looked embarrassed.  “I’ll open the bidding for this lovely lady at one-hundred simoleons.”

“Her face is pretty, but she’s as flat as a board,” said Todd Packer none to softly to Creed, who was sitting next to him.

“Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, man,” said Creed.

“I’m not into ten-year-old girls.”

Pam saw Jim tense in the row in front of Packer, noted his fingers curling into fists.

“I’m savin’ my money for the receptionist.”  

Jim’s head whipped around in time to see Packer holding up his hands like he was cupping two large melons.  Jim’s face was scarlet with fury, and nearby, Kevin stopped chuckling abruptly at his expression.

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up, Packer,” Jim said dangerously. Pam had never seen him that way before, and he wondered if it was in defense of Karen, herself, or his own sensitivities; Jim hated the bastard as much as she did.

“Whoa there, cowboy. Wouldn’t want Schrute to have to use the pepper spray on me too.”

Packer was saved from a punch in the nose by Toby, who put a staying hand on Jim’s shoulder.  “He’s not worth it,” the HR director said softly.  “I’ll mention this to Jan and send a letter of complaint off to Corporate.  You probably don’t want another violent incident with an employee on your record—as worth it as it might be.”

Jim nodded, but two seats away, Pam could see his chest moving up and down rapidly, saw him taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself.

The entire time this was happening, Karen was being auctioned. The bid was up to seven-hundred dollars, amped up by a friendly Andy and a local businessman Pam didn’t know. The stranger was shorter than Jim, but Brad Pitt handsome—tan, blonde, and blue eyed. The bidding got all the way up to two-thousand dollars, without Jim making a single bid. Pam supposed he was so in his head that he forgot where he was, and by the time the bidding ended, Karen was going, going, gone to the handsome man with the number 15 paddle.

Karen was smiling graciously at her future date, but Pam could see by her cold eyes that she was furious with Jim. She marched back down the steps and sat heavily in the empty folding chair beside him. There were speculative murmurs all around them, and Karen’s face was bright red.

“What the hell, Jim?” she muttered angrily, nudging his arm hard.

That woke him up.  “What?” he said, looking over at her in confusion.

“I know we had this bet, but could you have at least bid on me once, for show? That was humiliating.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I—”

“Nevermind,” she huffed, and faced forward, refusing even to look at him anymore.

“Next up,” Michael was saying, “Is my own personal number two”--Kevin snickered—“Dwight Schrute, top salesman at Dunder Mifflin for several years in a row, who will be donating to the Farmer’s Defense Fund.”

Dwight went up to the stage, looking awkward and suddenly very young in his grown-up tux. His eyes kept flitting hopefully to the vicinity of the refreshment tables as Michael tried to entice and cajole the audience into bidding. Pam, feeling immensely sorry for him, grabbed Kelly’s paddle and bid all that she had in her wallet.

“I’ll bid, uh…twenty-six dollars!” she said.  Dwight nodded gratefully.

“Fifty!” countered Jim. Pam covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Can he do that Michael?” Dwight whined out of the corner of his mouth.

Michael shrugged, covering his microphone. “Gil bid on Oscar. We don’t want another discrimination suit on our hands.”

“But Jim’s just being an ass—"

“I’ll bid one-hundred and fifty dollars,” announced Angela from the back of the room. Everyone was surprised, except for Pam and Jim, of course. And Dwight.

“It doesn’t count if you don’t have a paddle,” said Phyllis spitefully.

“Oh, shut it,” said Michael. “It’s for frickin’ charity, Phyllis.”

Bob Vance began to rise to defend his wife’s honor, and Michael immediately backtracked his tone. “I mean, thank you, Phyllis, but we’ll make an exception this once, shall we?  It’s for the farmers, after all…”

Bob sat down, satisfied for the moment, though his eyes were still shooting daggers at Michael.

“Okay…for Dwight and the farmers…going once, going twice…sold! To Angela Martin!” And Michael banged his gavel happily.

Pam smiled at Dwight’s wide grin, but everyone missed Angela’s quick smile of triumph.

When the polite clapping died down, Michael called for Pam. Her heart pounding nervously, she got up and walked to the stairs. There was a smattering of whistles as the men noticed her bare back, and Pam suddenly regretted ever wearing this dress, ever thinking that she had the self-confidence to pull it off.  She wasn’t this woman Kelly had created. She was quiet, mousy Pammy. She felt herself begin to panic, but then she met Jim’s kind eyes, saw his encouraging smile, and relaxed a little.

 “Let’s start the bidding for this foxy lady and the Scranton Children’s Art Fund, at one-hundred dollars,” said Michael.

“One hundred,” said a blushing Toby.

Pam smiled warmly at him.

“Way to go, man,” said Jim sincerely. He’d always known Toby had a thing for her, and he was by far the most benign date Pam could possibly have.

“One-fifty,” called Andy. Jim’s smile faded somewhat.

“Okay,” said Michael. “We’ve got one-fifty. Do I hear two-hundred?”

“Two-hundred,” offered Todd Packer. Up on the stage, Pam grew pale.

“Oh, hell no,” muttered Jim. “Two-fifty!” he countered, raising his paddle.

To his right, Karen gasped. “What the actual fuck, Jim?”

But he didn’t respond to her, because Packer had just upped his bid to two-seventy-five.

“Three-hundred!” said Jim.

He didn’t notice when Karen got up and left.