Jim stared at the shelves stocked with food, unsure of what would be cheapest. Money was tight now that he had moved back to Scranton from New York. At least now he only had to buy dinner for one instead of two. The now 34-year-old man scratched his beard, unsure of what he wanted that evening. Maybe spaghetti. That was relatively cheap. He reached up a little and grabbed some napolina spaghetti off the top shelf. He placed it into his basket, along with some eggs, milk, bread and fruit. 

“Jim?”

He froze when he heard a familiar voice behind him, a voice that he hadn’t heard in about 5 years. It was a voice that gave him shivers. He slowly turned and saw Pamela Beesly, smiling up at him weakly. “...oh my God. Pam?”

“Yeah...it’s me.” She said, somewhat awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure if that was you or not…you look...different.”

“So do you.”

Admittedly, Jim looked more different than Pam- though in her secret opinion, he looked even hotter. “Um, wow, it’s been years. What are you doing back in Scranton?”

“I’ve moved back here. New York just wasn’t for me. It’s a shame that it took me 5 whole years to figure that out, though, honestly.”

She laughed quietly. “Yeah. And, um, are you seeing anyone?”

“No. Karen and I were married for a while, but we broke it off quite recently when I told her that I didn’t want to live in New York anymore. She took it badly. And plus...well, I wanted kids and she didn’t. Like, not at all. And, uh, what about you?”

“No, me either. Although…” Pam turned to look behind her, and Jim noticed a little girl with a similar hair colour peeking out from behind Pam’s maroon skirt. He smiled. “Well, hey. Who’s this?”

“Jim, this is my daughter Cassie.” The little girl blinked. “Who are you?” She asked timidly.

“I’m Jim. It’s nice to meet you, young lady. I’m, uh...a friend of your mom.”

Cassie nodded, slowly creeping out from behind Pam. “H-Hello, Jim.” She was clutching a little grey teddy bear in her small hands. Jim bent down. Usually, Cassie would have flinched- particularly tall people scared her. But there was something about Jim’s soft expression and his smile that she found trustworthy. “I like your teddy bear. How old are you?” As Pam watched him with a smile of her own, she felt the ache in her heart start up again. She had longed for this man for so many years, and eventually she had managed to control the nagging pain in her soul. But now here he was, and she could feel her heart begin to throb all over again.

The little girl began to count on her fingers. “I’m...1,2,3,4!” She began to clap, and Jim chuckled. “Wow, you’re a big girl, aren’t you?”

Cassie nodded confidently, enjoying all this new attention. “I am a big girl. 1, 2, 3, 4!”

Jim grinned and got to his feet again, now turning to face Pam. “She’s adorable.”

Pam smiled back at him as her heart pounded loudly. “Yeah, isn’t she?”

Cassie continued to count on her fingers the background, still limply clutching her teddy bear. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 13, 15, 27...” she hadn’t noticed that she had missed off some numbers.

“Uh, if you don’t mind me asking, who’s her father?” He silently prayed that it wasn’t Roy.

“Oh, I don’t know. It was just some guy in a bar. I didn’t even know his name…” she chuckled sadly. “I’m not usually like that. I don’t just go around sleeping with all sorts. I was just caught out, that’s all. Still, she’s the best thing that’s happened to me.”

“Of course. So you didn’t get back with Roy...after I got the job?”

She shot him a certain look. “What? Do you think I’m thick or something? After what happened before that, when he tried to pinch your lights out? No chance. Even I wasn’t that stupid. I mean, he did try for a while. It was properly creepy too, he followed me around everywhere. I tried to report him to the police for stalking me, but they took no notice since I didn’t have any ‘proof’ apart from my word. Until one day I caught him breaking into my apartment, and because Cassie was so young and he was drunk, I was really scared. So I called the police. He fled, obviously, like the coward he is, and they couldn’t catch him, so I moved house. I still live in Scranton, but just a little bit further away. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Jeez.”

“I know.”

He ran a hand through his hair, and she nearly fainted at just how attractive he had become. Well, he was already attractive before, but now…

“What happened with you and Karen?”

“Well, as you know, I got the job in New York, and Karen managed to secure something in Albany. We moved there, and after a while, I proposed to her. I don’t know why I did. I just felt like I had to, I guess. There wasn’t much else I could do.”

‘You could have seen my note. You could have come back. You could have asked me out on a date. I would have said yes. We could be married by now, with a house and kids of our own. I always did love you.’

She obviously didn’t voice these thoughts, though.

“So I proposed one evening, and she said yes. I didn’t really want her to say yes, honestly. I wasn’t prepared for marriage- not to her, at least. We found a place, and we were happy. For a little while, at least. Until we started fighting, and one day she told me that I was the biggest mistake of her life. I don’t know why I stayed with her after she said that, but I did. We only got divorced a few months ago. I don’t think she was too upset, actually. Neither was I. We both became really miserable really fast, for some reason. I don’t know why. I mean, we always had fun together when we were just dating, and we rarely fought...okay, no, that’s a lie. We did fight...about-”

“About me?” She raised an eyebrow with a knowing but sad smile.

“Um...yes. But it was different when we were married. I think I quickly realised what I wanted...who I wanted.”

“Oh…” she felt like an idiot with her cheeks burning as he told her all of this. He stared down at her. “I’m glad I ran into you, Pam...I’ve missed you so much.”

“I-I’ve m-missed you too.” She could feel tears prickle her eyes as her vision blurred. “You were my best friend, Jim. Actually...you know when you went for your interview? I left you a note...it just said ‘Don’t forget us when you’re famous’ and I left one of the yoghurt lid medals in there. I wanted you to see it. Not really so that you’d change your mind...but just because I wanted you to remember me. I mean, part of me  wanted you to change your mind, but mostly I just wanted you to be happy because I...because I loved you.” She put particular emphasis on the ‘loved’, so it didn’t seem like she still had feelings for him. Hopefully it sounded that way.

“I...I...I know you put it in there, I saw it.”

“Oh...you did?” She bowed her head. Cassie seemed to be bored of this conversation. What were they talking about? It was all very uninteresting, anyway. She decided to go and look at the strawberry milk. She liked strawberry milk, but banana flavoured was good too. Though chocolate was obviously the best.

“Yeah. It...it nearly convinced me to change my mind about the whole thing, as well as question my entire relationship with Karen. But...for some reason...I decided that my career was more important than my happiness. So I chose the job over you.”

“...I thought you loved me.”

“I did. I really did. I just didn’t think you loved me back, so I felt like there was no point in driving all the way back to Scranton and asking you out, since I’d just be humiliated again. I really didn’t think you loved me, since you made that so clear on casino night.”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t love you, Jim. I said that I couldn’t. They’re so different. If you had any idea about how hard love is then you’d know that.”

He laughed scornfully. “Oh, I’m the one who doesn’t know how hard love is? Yeah, sure, you had to watch me and Karen be together for a few months, but guess what? I had to watch you with that asshole for 4 years! I spent every single moment of my time hoping that you’d come to your senses, praying that you’d realise what a big mistake you were making...but you never did seem to come to the conclusion that he was an inconsiderate moron. And then I kissed you, and you kissed me back, and I thought I could finally get a shot at happiness, and then you tell me that you’re still going to marry him after you tell me that you’d wanted to kiss me for ages? And better yet, after I move away to try and be happy, you cancel the wedding and break up with your fiancé?! And then when I come back to Scranton with an awesome girlfriend who seemed to really like me, you have the audacity to be jealous after you had turned me away so many times?! Didn’t I deserve any happiness at all?! Did you ever really care about me at all?!”

She was stunned into silence, merely staring up at him as she took in all his words. “Jim, I...I...of course I cared…”

“Well it certainly didn’t seem that way to me! God. You don’t know how hard this has been for me. Every single night when you were with a man that didn’t love or respect you, I was thinking about you. Every single night when I was with Karen, I was thinking about you. Every single night when I was alone, already once divorced at the age of 34, I was thinking about you. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head, even when I was married to Karen.”

“That’s not my fault! And nobody forced you to propose to Karen. Nobody forced you to go out with her in the first place.”

“What else was I meant to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, not marry her?!”

“No, but seriously! What else was I supposed to do?! I didn’t think you loved me.”

She folded her arms. “Why not? You knew that I was jealous.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know you were jealous because you loved me. I just thought you were jealous because I didn’t worship the ground you walked on all of a sudden.”

“It’s not like you did before that.”

“I did. I really did. Pam, I loved you so much. I would have done anything for you, anything at all. I just wanted you to be happy.”

“You ‘would have’? Do you honestly still love me, Jim?”

He stared at her with his soft expression, longing to kiss her soft lips.  “...I-”

“Mommy, I need the toilet.” Cassie suddenly popped up out of nowhere, yanking on her skirt. She sighed. “Can’t it wait, sweetie?”

“No, I need to go now…” this wasn’t really true, she just wanted to go home now.

Pam sighed, picking her up. “Okay.” She turned to look up at Jim with a tender expression. “We still have a lot to talk about…I’ll text you my address. You...you do still have my number, right?” 

“I...yeah.”

She smiled a tiny bit. “Alright, cool...see you later, Jim.”

“...Yep. See ya.”