Danny sets his coffee down on his desk before collapsing into his chair. “So that’s it?”

Jim leans up against the doorframe, “That’s it.”

“You just left? Nothing happened?”

“Yup.”

Danny wanted nothing more than to harp on his little brother for not using this opportunity to finally ask Pam out, but it wasn’t time for that. Instead, he leans back in his chair and takes a slow sip of coffee before turning back to Jim.

“So, let me get this straight. Philbin tells you a bunch of cryptic stuff about Roy that may or may not mean anything but definitely is pretty weird sounding, especially when he wouldn’t tell you anything more when you asked. Then you find out that Roy is hanging around Pam’s in the middle of the night for God knows how long and you thought it was a good idea to not say anything to Pam.”

“She was the one who told me that Roy stopped by, it’s not like she doesn’t know he was there.”

“That’s not the point, and you know it.”

Jim sighs, “Nothing happened, Danny.”

“You still should have said something.”

“How?”

Danny rolls his eyes, “The same way I just did. Just tell her what you’re thinking. Easy.”

“Easy for you. She’s just going to think I’m jealous and I’m making things up because of how I feel for her.”

Danny leans forward, resting his elbows on his desk and forming a triangle with his fingers under his chin. His eyes narrow just a touch and he watches Jim’s eyebrow raise up at him, but he shakes his head a little; he’s being serious. “Jim, look. You’re her friend. You always have been, and you probably always will be, no matter how you two feel about each other. I’m her friend, too, and I don’t like the thought of this guy hanging around her house in the middle of the night, no matter what his excuse may be. He could have stopped by in the morning, he could have called her, he could have left a message at her work. What kind of guy gets up at two A.M., gets fully dressed, and then drives across town to leave a note? And didn’t you say that Singer kept her up for hours? What if Roy was out there the whole time he was acting up? What if Darryl was trying to warn you about him somehow? Didn’t you think of any of this?”

Jim crosses his arms over his chest, “Of course I did. I don’t like any of it either.”

“Then you should have said something.”

Danny watches Jim run a hand through his hair and then down his face. After a moment Jim looks back over at him. “You weren’t there, Danny. And besides, she didn’t seem concerned about it at all. She was just annoyed that Singer kept her up. You’re making this into something bigger than it actually is. All he did was leave a note.”

“How do you know that’s all he did?” Jim opens his mouth to respond but Danny stops him, holding a hand up. “Listen. I’m usually more than willing to let you screw up and make mistakes, okay? But this isn’t just about you right now. Like I said, Pam is my friend too. This isn’t the time to start keeping secrets from her, especially about this kind of stuff. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe Roy is just an awkward guy who doesn’t know good timing for things like this. But… maybe it’s something else and I think Pam deserves to know. Does that make sense?”

He watches Jim’s eyebrows furrow in thought before his chin drops to his chest. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

***

“Sounds like you two had a good night.”

Pam nods. Organizing her desk, she slips the pens she just tested back into their cup. “We did. He’s always a lot of fun, you know that.”

Jo swivels back and forth in her chair. The studio was empty, no sessions were scheduled for another twenty minutes and Kelly left for lunch, so it was just Jo and Pam. “And your faucet is fixed?”

She stuffs some doodles into a folder before putting it in a drawer, “He put a new one in.”

“Did he make it look easy? Like you wondered why you even had to call him in the first place?”

Extra notebooks in the bottom drawer, extra brushes in the top. “Yup.”

“Don’t you hate that?”

Pam giggles while compiling the pastels that need to go into the back, “Every single time.”

Jo laughs, leaning back in her chair, “He really is something, isn’t he?”

She pauses and looks over at the picture of her, Jim, Karen, and Danny that she’s had on her desk since Jo took the picture three years ago. She knows that Jo’s question doesn’t need a response, but she hasn’t been able to stop thinking the same thing since Jim left her house last night. She wasn’t sure why Jim was suddenly always on her mind, the last person she thought about as she fell asleep last night and the first person she thought of as Singer licked her awake this morning. At first, she thought maybe it was just because she really did have a fun night. It had been a while since her and Jim hung out alone. They used to all the time, pizza on the porch wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. But there was something about the moonlight streaming through the windows while he emptied her garbage and the sound of moths hitting the porch light as she waved him off. Something was different, she just didn’t know what.

She was brought back by Singer’s whine at the door, asking to be let out. Pam shakes her head and stands up to open the door for him. As she stands in the doorway, she watches Singer go to the garage, can see Jim under the hood of what seems to be the Scotts’ car. She waits until Singer is safely across the street and walking through the garage door before she finally answers Jo, “Yeah. He really is something.”

***

The sun was on the verge of setting when Pam was finally able to make her way over to the garage. She walks in to see Jim leaning up against the wall, Singer sitting beside him, neither looking her way.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that this was all some sort of plan to make sure I came over here.”

Jim looks up at her, grinning, and she can’t help her heart from fluttering just a little. She shakes her head, wondering if she had always reacted that way when he smiles at her like this. 

He shrugs, “Maybe he’s trying to tell you something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he hasn’t been getting enough attention.”

Pam laughs, “He’s spoiled rotten, don’t let him fool you. He couldn’t get more attention if he tried.”

“Maybe he just misses his best friend, then.” Jim scratches behind Singer’s ear before starting to undo the zipper on his coveralls. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind. This thing has been bugging me all day and I got some transmission fluid on it a couple hours ago, so I’ve been just breathing in the fumes.”

“Getting buzzed while on the clock, huh?”

He chuckles, “No, just a headache. I’m not that lucky, Pam.”

She watches as he slips the sleeves over his arms and then uses Singer for balance as he steps out of his uniform. He balls them up and tosses them behind her into the corner and she notices that he looks younger than he is in his jeans and black t-shirt.

“Any plans for tonight?”

“Just the usual. Saving the world, feeding the hungry, fighting for world peace.”

She smiles, “It’s amazing how much someone can do if they put their mind to it.”

“So true.” He gives her another grin, more boyish this time, and this isn’t helping her figure out her feelings right now. “What about you? Anything exciting going on?”

“Unless you think cleaning and paying bills exciting, then nope, nothing. See, unlike you, I need to fix the little things before I can focus on perfecting the universe.”

“It is hard being me, you know.”

She laughs and he smiles for a second before his face drops as he looks past her. Her eyebrows knit together and she’s about to turn to see what he’s looking at when he runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat.

“Hey, um, since you aren’t busy. Can I talk to you for a few minutes? There was just something I needed to tell you.”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

He glances past her again before meeting her eyes, “Would you mind if we went somewhere else? I think I’m gonna need a beer first.”

She glances behind her only to find Danny sorting through paperwork near his door. She’s confused about what Danny may have to do with this and why Jim is suddenly serious, but she would also be lying if she said she wasn’t a little excited to be able to hang out with him for the second night in a row.

“A beer sounds great.”

***

Bratton’s was just a few stores down. Sandwiched between a laundromat and a butcher shoppe, it was about as good as it sounds. But the beer was cheap, the patrons were nice (if not a little weird), and the owner, Creed, let practically anything slide. Pam doesn't come here often, but the few times she has, she’s seen people bring in samurai swords, inflatable dates, full game systems to hook up to one of the TVs. Really, anything that was apparently considered essential for a night spent drinking.

For Pam, the only upside to Creed not caring who or what comes through that front door was that Singer could join her any time she did end up here, which is why he is now snoring at her feet as she sits across from Jim in a sticky booth. Creed gives them their beers and she takes a sip, thankful that it’s actually cold this time. She waits until Creed has walked away before turning to Jim, “This place is such a dive. I always feel like I’m going to catch something if I stay too long.”

“But, Pam, it has character.”

She rolls her eyes at the line Creed always uses when someone tries to complain. You don’t come here for fancy cocktails or that crappy modern music, he always says, you come here for the cheap booze and fun times. You come for the character. “Yeah, okay. So, what was so important you’re risking some sort of infection to tell me?”

“You’re so dramatic.” He goes from a teasing smile to looking down at the table, running a hand through his hair before tracing the grooves of the table with his fingers. “But, uh, it was something that Danny said I should do.”

"Danny?" 

“Yeah,” he glances up at her before looking back down, “He thought I should have said something to you yesterday. About Roy.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Danny wanted you to talk to me about Roy?”

“About how he dropped off that note the other night.”

“What about it?”

“Danny thought it was a little weird how he did it. Like, driving to your house in the middle of the night.”

“So, Danny was worried about me?”

“Yeah, Danny.”

“Mmm… but not you.”

His face scrunches for a second, “No.”

Pam smiles and then leans back in the booth. “Why was Danny so worried about it? It’s not like Roy was peeking through the windows, Singer would have gone through the glass if he was. I’m pretty sure Roy didn’t even come up to the house, since the note was on my car. And besides, he said it was an emergency, he may have had to leave right away.”

“Well, it wasn’t just that.” He takes a sip of his beer before looking at her, “Someone Roy works with came in the other day and said something kind of weird.”

“Like what?”

“I mean,” he shrugs, “not a lot, honestly. But that was what was so weird about it. I had mentioned meeting Roy and asked if he liked the guy, and he just said to stay away from him. I tried to get him to elaborate, but he wouldn’t. Just got in his truck and left. And then Roy was at your house in the middle of the night, and we- I mean… Danny. He just thought it was a little concerning.”

Pam couldn’t help but smile after Jim had finished telling her everything. She reached across the table and rested a hand on top of Jim’s, “That is so sweet of Danny to worry about me like that.”

Her smile only grew as Jim was seemingly trying to process her response. “Wait… you’re not mad?”

“Of course not. I’m glad I’ve got friends like him who are watching out for me.”

“But…”

“But what?” Pam gently laughed as Jim tried to stammer out a response. She squeezed his hand once before leaning back in her seat again, “C’mon, admit it. You were worried too, it wasn’t just Danny, was it?”

Jim sighs, “No.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

Her eyebrows furrow a little, “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well, you know…” he sighs again and runs a hand through his hair, “it’s just… you’re dating the guy. I didn’t want you to think… if it was just me saying it, I wasn’t sure…”

“You didn’t want me to think you were just saying it so I’d stop seeing him?”

“Yeah.”

She studied him as he took another swig of beer. When he looked back over at her, she smiled, but her heart felt heavy. “Do you really think that little of me? Or of our friendship?” When he doesn’t answer, she sighs and continues, “Jim, you’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone. I don’t think you could ever say anything to me that would lead me to believe you’re just doing it to hurt me. Why do you think I’ve kept you around this whole time? Certainly not because of your cooking skills.” She smiles after she managed to get a chuckle out of him, “You’re a good guy. A nice guy.”

He scoffs and looks down, tracing the lines on the table again. “Yeah, well… nice guys finish last. Isn’t that what people say?”

She sits up and grabs his hand again, but this time she doesn’t let go. She runs her thumb over his knuckles until he looks at her. “I don’t, though.”

He looks at their hands and then back up at her, “What about Roy?”

“What about him?”

“You two have been spending a lot of time together lately.”

She smirks and leans forward, “James Halpert, are you jealous?”

He scoffs but doesn’t answer her question.

“Don’t be jealous. We went on a few dates and had a few laughs. It was fun, but it wasn’t a big deal. It’s not like I was planning on marrying the guy.”

“You weren’t?”

Pam snorted, “You’re joking, right?” She pauses and watches as Jim swallowed and her face drops a little, “You’re not joking. Did you think I loved him?”

He shrugs, “I had no idea.”

She gives him a small smile, “I don’t. He’s a great guy, but I’m not even sure I would go out with him again. And don’t let your ego inflate too much, it’s not just because of what you just told me. Last weekend was great, I had a lot of fun. But do you remember when you were dating Brenda, and you liked her, but you didn’t like her? And how I told you what my mom told me, how sometimes they just don’t rock your boat? I was thinking about that on Sunday, and I realized it was the same thing for me and Roy. It’s just… not there. And then on Monday he was a little off, and I tried to brush it off, but I couldn’t. I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“Really?”

She nods, “Really.”

She laughs a little when he grins for a second before trying to hide it behind his beer. Creed walks up and asks if they want any refills and after declining, they watch him go change the TV from ESPN to some channel with a Spanish soap opera. Jim turns back to Pam and rolls his eyes before saying, “So, you going to see good ol’ Toby again?”

“God, I hope not.”

“He’s better than that Alan guy.”

“If Alan is where my expectations should be, then I have some pretty low standards.”

He chuckles and offers a small shrug, “Well, I’m sure someone else will come along.”

Pam holds his gaze as she rests her cheek in her free hand, slightly squeezing his hand with the one that was still holding onto it. “Maybe.”

“C’mon, you’re a catch. There must be at least a dozen guys just waiting to ask you out.”

“Maybe,” she repeats. “But… I only need one.”

“It won’t take long. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried. Now that I’ve been out a few times, I think I know what I want. A good guy. A nice guy.”

Jim nods, “You definitely deserve one.”

As much as she loved the guy, Pam can’t help but think that Jim could be as dense as a brick at times. She bit her bottom lip before trying out a different approach.

“How about you? You ever going to find someone special?”

“Who knows. No luck so far.”

“Mm… you will. You just have to look for them, sometimes they’re closer than it seems.”

He gently removes his hand from under hers, using it to tug on the front of his t-shirt a few times. She could see his face growing redder and the way he looked at her made her think he was finally going to ask her out. Her deep inhale only turned into a slow sigh, though, when he says, “I hope you’re right.”

I guess this is going to be up to me, she thinks as she nudges him under the table with her foot, making sure she has his full attention. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Oh, um, nothing. Haven’t thought about it.”

“I was thinking we might go out.”

She tries not to giggle when his eyes grow wide, “Go out?”

“Yeah. There’s this new place right next to the river that is supposed to be pretty good, and it leads right to a trail we could walk on afterwards, if you want.”

“Should I find out if Danny and Karen want to come?”

She tilts her head to the side a bit, “What if it’s just the two of us?”

“You and me?”

“Sure, I mean… unless you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to.” She smiles as he shakes his head and takes a deep breath, “I mean, yeah. I think I’ll be able to work that out.”

Pam laughed, “Gee, thanks. I appreciate that.”

***

“So, you asked her out?”

Danny was surprised that Jim was already at the garage when he arrived this morning. Although they both had a set of keys, Danny was usually the one to arrive first and get everything started for the day. Jim was rarely late, but he tended to just show up when he needed to, never early. But the lights were on and the coffee was made, so Danny knew something was up as soon as he pulled in. Jim greeted him at the front door and Danny, knowing from the look on Jim’s face that he was just dying to tell him something, took his time getting settled. Folded his coat perfectly before setting it on his shelf, made sure his coffee had just the right amount of creamer, remade his coffee when he added too much creamer. He also made sure to stop Jim anytime he tried to talk, saying he has a certain routine (he doesn’t) and if he doesn’t follow it, the garage will go down in flames (it won’t). It’s not until he’s at his desk and Jim looks like he’s about to explode that Danny finally lets him spill the news.

Jim is now leaning back against the wall, ankles crossed, hands in his pockets, shrugging as if it’s not a big deal, “Yup.”

“And you’re sure it’s a date?”

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely a date.”

Danny nodded, “So, how’d you do it? You went out for drinks and…”

“It was real casual, just worked it into the conversation. And then when the moment hit, I asked her.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“Mhm.” He knew his brother well enough to know that he was lying somehow, but Danny couldn’t quite figure out how. After all, it did sound like they were going to go on a real date. “What about Roy?”

Jim’s smile is a little smug, “I think that’s pretty much over now.”

“Did Pam say that?”

“Oh, yeah.”

Danny studied him for a moment, trying to figure out what it was that was fishy about all of this. She is seemingly over Roy, they’re going to go to a nice restaurant, she said she just wanted it to be the two of them. Maybe it was just the fact that his brother finally got the balls to ask her out that was throwing him off.

“Well, I’m proud of you, little bro. It’s about time you two got your acts together.”

“Thanks.”

He pauses to see if Jim will say anything else, but when he doesn’t, Danny tells him to get to work. He waits until Jim closes his office door behind him before picking up his phone and calling Karen.

“Hey, babe.”

“You’re never going to believe what I just heard.”

“What?”

Danny filled her in on everything Jim had told him, listening to her hum appropriately in response while getting the kids ready for school. When he was done, she laughed a little and said, “Well, it’s about time.”

“I know, I said the same thing. But, listen, can you get Pam’s side of the story?”

Karen responds to a question their oldest asks before talking to him again, “I thought Jim told you everything.”

“He did, but he’s leaving something out. I can tell.”

“You’re not planning on ruining this, are you? Danny, they just got started, at least let them go on one date before—”

“No, no. I’m not planning anything. I just want to know what really happened.”

“Why? So, you can tease him?”

“Would I ever do something like that?” He can picture her eyebrow raising and he chuckles, “No, I just… you know how much Jim likes her. He’s taking this pretty seriously. I just want to make sure Pam is too.”

He can hear her sigh just loud enough that only he can hear it and he knows that she’s trying to decide whether or not to believe him. “Well, I haven’t had lunch with her in a while.”

“That’s my girl.”

***

Pam stumbles inside with a few bags of groceries and a pile of mail. Usually Singer would help her out, but he hopped out of the Jeep before she could even put it in park and then headed towards the woods in the backyard. She drops the groceries onto her dining room table, throws one of the lasagnas she bought into the microwave, and then goes upstairs and changes into shorts and a t-shirt. The microwave is still going when she gets back, so she starts flipping through the mail.

Bills, a few magazines, a letter from the art school Jo had sent her to, no doubt asking for some sort of donation. She sets the pile back down, not wanting to deal with any of it right now.

She was going to go out with Jim.

Her best friend. The one person she never thought she would go out with but is now wondering why it took her so long to give him a chance. She whispers his name out loud to see if it sounded as unbelievable as she felt right now.

Yep. It did.

The microwave beeping brings her back, and she grabs her dinner before making her way to the living room. She notices the answering machine is blinking, so she sits in the recliner next to it so she can listen while she eats. The first message is from Karen, asking her out to lunch on Friday. “If you can’t make it, call me back. Otherwise let’s meet at Alfredo’s, okay?”

Pam smiled, making sure to remember to write that down. It’s been a while since just her and Karen have gotten together, and she hadn’t realized until now just how much she was dying to tell someone about her and Jim.

The machine beeped again, and this time Roy’s voice came through. He sounded tired, she thinks he must have been working all day.

“Hey, Pam. I was just calling to check in but I guess you’re not there. Um, I’ll be busy all evening and pretty much all day tomorrow, but I’ll be home tomorrow night.” He pauses and Pam can hear him take a deep breath. “You can’t believe how much I miss you right now.”

She hears the phone click as he hangs up and then the machine is telling her to press a button to repeat, save, or delete the message, but Pam ignores it. She frowns a little down at her lasagna, not hungry anymore. She is suddenly struck with the thought that Roy isn’t going to take this very well.

***

Jim pulls up to Pam’s house the next night with a small box of chocolates and a few sunflowers, her favorite. She had told him to just be himself, that she likes him best when he’s just Jim and not trying to be someone else. But he couldn’t help but want to impress her, to show her just how much this means to him.

He cuts the engine and grabs the chocolate and flowers before getting out and starting towards the house. He had tried out about thirty different opening lines, finally settling on It was a great idea to go to the river. It’s a beautiful night. Something casual that wouldn’t make it seem like he was trying to come on too strong but complimented her all the same. He had just made it to the porch when Pam opened the door and greeted him, but he has no idea what she said because her voice coupled with the sundress that hugged her perfectly had his brain short circuiting and all he could think was wow, we are actually going on a date.

There were beautiful women everywhere; Jim knew that. There were women who would make men turn their heads even with a date on their arm. There were women who could get out of a ticket just by batting their eyelashes at the state trooper. There were women who put a lot of effort into their appearance every day and it paid off.

And then there was Pam.

He knew most people found her attractive, but he also knew most people found her attractive in the “girl-next-door” kind of way. Nothing world-shattering, but still pretty. And Jim knew there were flaws with Pam, of course – she was paler than she would like to be, her teeth were a little crooked, and her hair tended to do as it pleased more often than not. But as she walks down the porch steps to him, he had never seen anyone more beautiful.

“Jim? You okay?”

Don’t blow this. He shakes his head and looks down, remembering what he’s holding. “Oh, uh, I brought you flowers and chocolate.”

He can feel his face getting hotter as she smiles and says, “I can see that.”

Say your line. Take a deep breath and say your line. Don’t blow this. “You look beautiful at the river tonight.”

She giggles, “Thank you, but we aren’t there yet.”

He sighs and drops his chin to his chest, “Right.” He looks back up when she places a hand on his arm, she’s smiling at him and he smiles shyly back, “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“Not knowing what to say. I just—” He pauses and the small smile still playing on her lips calms his nerves a little. “I’m just glad I’m here.”

He watches her bite her lip and whisper, “Me too,” and this is already the best date he’s ever been on.

With another deep breath and an extended hand, he asks, “Are you ready to go?”

She slides her hand into his and he’s amazed that despite the size difference, they seem to fit together perfectly. “Whenever you are.”

He turned to lead her to the car when he heard Singer bark and he turned back towards the house. “Is Singer not coming?”

“I didn’t think you’d want him along.”

Jim considered it. Singer may ease both of their nerves by reducing any expectations either of them might have come up with. “He can come if you want. The restaurant has a grassy area up front and he’ll love the river.”

He watched her look at the house, debating whether or not to bring Singer. She looks back at him, her eyes asking are you sure? So, he gives her a reassuring smile and a nudge towards the house, and she says, “Thank you. Here, let me bring these in while I get him, I’ll be right back.”

She lets go of his hand and grabs the flowers and chocolate from his other one before quickly walking back up the steps and disappearing inside. A minute later she reappears with Singer by her side, a big smile on both of their faces.

Singer was curled up and asleep on the grass as Jim and Pam sat above him on the second story balcony. Summer was trying to hold on, but Autumn was quickly approaching, the cool breeze causing the umbrella above them to sway and the occasional chill go through both of them. But the sky was clear, the weather was warm other than the breeze, and he had Pam sitting across from him, so he was happy.

The waiter came by for their drink orders, Pam ordered a wine while Jim went with a bottle of beer and an order of mozzarella sticks for them to share.

Jim was trying really hard to be cool and casual. To make sure Pam wouldn’t regret this. To make sure there would be a second, third, tenth, and then countless other dates. They talked about their day on the drive over, then about Jo and Kelly and Danny and Karen as they parked and waited for their table. That was easy, he could pretend that he was just giving her a lift to work or taking her home after a night at his brother’s house. But now they’re sitting in a restaurant, just the two of them, and it’s a real date.

He had been imagining this moment for the past few years, what she would wear, where they would go, what they would talk about. However, now that it was a reality, he found himself at a loss for words. Then her lips pursed as she took a sip of her wine, and he remembered that if he played his cards right, he might be able to kiss her. He had to read the entrees three times before he could push that thought out of his head, at least for the time being.

He was nervous, but he somehow managed to keep the conversation going through their drinks and as they ordered their meals. He even made her laugh a few times, which was really his main goal for the evening. By the time their dinners arrived, though, he realized that despite the front he was putting on, with all of his nerves, he couldn’t remember anything they had just talked about.

Pull yourself together, Halpert.

***

Jim wasn’t being himself.

Pam wasn’t really surprised. She knew this was going to be a little weird, it would take a bit for them both to loosen up. She had just hoped it would happen sooner rather than later. She wanted tonight to go well. Even if they decided they were better off as just friends, she wanted them both to give it an honest go and not let their pasts stand in the way of who they could be. She knew that whether or not this led anywhere, Jim was going to play a major part in her future. The fact that he has also played a major part in her past complicates things, but she was ready to move past that. He knew her. He knew her strengths, her weaknesses, her insecurities, her history. Most importantly, he knew Mark.

She had thought about Mark more than once while they were eating, and she couldn’t help but compare the two. She was right in her comment the other day, how similar Jim and Mark are to each other. But even with all of their similarities, she knew Jim would never be like Mark. She doesn’t think he would ever try to be, either, which she finds heartwarming. Even throughout tonight’s awkward moments and complicated feelings, she was also reminded of the feeling she had while her and Mark were dating. She felt important, safe, and loved. And she felt sure, just like she had with Mark, that not only did Jim love her now, but there would never come a day when he didn’t.

There was a brief moment where the feeling of betrayal crawled its way to the forefront of her mind, but it was gone as quickly as it came. She was sure it was a sign that Mark was somehow watching over them, but she was also sure that he was telling her he wasn’t upset, because for the first time, the feeling of betrayal dissipated and all that was left behind was a warm sensation coursing through her.

By the time they had finished eating, the moon had risen, and the crickets were chirping. Jim smiled over at her and asked, “Would you like to go for a walk?”

“That would be great.”

She stands and straightens her dress as Jim gently grabs her waist in order to squeeze past her so he can peek over the railing and check on Singer. She could smell his cologne with him so close, and she was suddenly reminded of just how much had changed this week. He makes a comment about Singer, but Pam isn’t sure exactly what he said because when he turned back to her, the moonlight made his eyes a brighter green and casted shadows that made his face look more chiseled than it actually is. His fingers, wrapped around the wrought iron fence were stained with grease and his hair, though she could tell he tried to style it, was falling back into his face. She realized once again how different he was to the man who she had once vowed her life to.

But she liked it. She liked him. No, she wasn’t in love with Jim, but as he took her hand to lead her back inside, she remembers feeling just like this on her first date with Mark. So, maybe it was just a matter of time.

***

Although there was a walking trail only a few feet away from the river, Jim and Pam found themselves walking right on the edge. They had removed their shoes, the wind causing the river to splash up at them every now and then as Singer switched between wading through the water and sniffing the ground a few feet ahead of them.

They walked in silence for a moment. Jim had noticed that Pam had gotten more and more quiet as dinner went on, and he wanted to give her time to work through what she was feeling, but he was also starting to get a little more concerned as they walked further from the restaurant and she still didn’t say anything.

He gently nudges her shoulder with his own, “Hey, you okay? You’ve been kind of quiet.”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking.”

“About Mark?”

She looks up at him, “How did you know?”

“I’ve seen that look on your face lots of times. You’d make a terrible poker player.” He smiles when she lightly swats his arm. “Besides, nothing gets past me, Beesly.”

And, if he was being honest, he had thought about Mark a few times tonight as well. Hoped that taking Pam out was okay, that Mark was watching and smiling down at them.

“Oh yeah? Then what was I thinking?”

“You were thinking… that you were glad you married him.”

“Now that’s a safe answer if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Was I right, though?”

“No.”

“So, what were you thinking about?”

“Nothing. It’s not important.”

“That bad, huh?”

“No, you just don’t want to know.”

His eyebrows knit together, “Why not?”

“It’s just kind of silly.”

“C’mon, tell me.”

“Okay, alright. I… was thinking about his fingers.”

He certainly wasn’t expecting that answer, and he has to fight back a smile because he knows that she’s being serious. “His fingers?”

“Yeah. You have grease on your fingers. I was thinking that in all the time I was dating and then married to Mark, I never saw his fingers look like that.” She stops walking and places a hand on his arm when he shoves his hands into his pockets self-consciously. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I know you’re a mechanic, your hands are supposed to be dirty.”

“They’re not dirty, I wash them all the time. They’re just stained.”

She smiles, “Jim, I know. You don’t have to be so defensive. Besides,” she shrugs and starts playing with her own fingers, “I kind of like it.”

He’s glad that the moon is the only source of light right now so she can’t see how red his cheeks are, “You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, I guess I have to. They come with the package.”

Jim can’t help the grin that spreads across his face and he’s happy to see that she’s smiling back up at him. They start walking again, letting the first few steps be filled with nothing but a comfortable silence and Singer treading the water next to them. After a moment, he asks, “Would you like to go out again tomorrow night? Maybe we can drive out to Brooklyn?”

“That sounds like fun.”

“Singer would probably have to stay behind this time.”

She giggled, “That’s okay. He’s a big boy, he can handle it.”

“Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

“This one is all on you. I’ve done my duty.”

“And you did it well.” He snuck a look over at her and then reached for her hand, relaxing even more as she interlocks their fingers. “It was a great idea to go to the river. It’s beautiful tonight.”

She squeezes his hand, “Yes, it is.”

He was reluctant to let go of her hand even as they reached his truck, but he didn’t have a choice, so he opened the door for her and then went around to his side. He considered taking it again once he sat down, but her hands were in her lap and she was looking out the side window.

Neither said much on the way home, and although he was pretty sure she had a good evening, he wasn’t sure what she was thinking right now. He knew what he was thinking and hoped that she would too. Hoped that she would pause on the porch before saying goodnight, and she would let him kiss her.

He walks her to the door, “I had a great time tonight.”

She smiles, “Me too. What time should I be ready tomorrow?”

“How does seven sound?”

“Perfect.”

There was the pause. He looked at her and took the smallest step forward, saying, “So…”

Pam reached for his hand, but instead of pulling him closer like he thought she was going to, she just squeezed it once before dropping it again. “Goodnight, Jim. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

It took him a moment to realize that she wasn’t going to kiss him, nor let him kiss her. He started shifting his balance from one foot to the other, “Tomorrow?”

She opens her purse and starts searching for her keys, “Yeah. Our date, remember?”

“Right.”

She found her keys and slipped one into the lock, opening the door to let Singer inside. She turns back to him, “Thank you again for the nice evening.”

He nods in response as she follows Singer into the house and offers one last smile before closing the door. He waits for a moment before realizing that she isn’t coming back out, so he turns and heads back to his truck.

Maybe tomorrow.

***

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, Pam grabbed one of the magazines that was still laying in the pile of mail on the table and sat on the couch so she could flip through it as she replayed the evening.

She had a great time. It was a little awkward at first, but by the time they were walking by the river, both of them had seemed to relax and were able to be themselves a little more. She was glad that she didn’t kiss Jim on the porch, though she’s not entirely sure why. Maybe she just needs a little more time to get used to all of this. Her feelings towards him, the fact that they are going out now, how she wants to keep going out with him, everything.

There was also a small part of her that just wanted to see him squirm. When he squirmed, he was cute in a way that only Jim could be. And Danny was right, he was fun to tease.

She tossed the magazine to the side and picked up the remote instead. She turned on the TV, settling on some Lifetime movie she knew she was going to get more invested in than she should. She had missed the first few minutes, but she quickly gets sucked into the world where a young arson investigator has to find the man who is targeting her before he can cause any more damage.

Twenty minutes later, just as Detective Reena Hale is starting to figure out who the pyromaniac is, there’s a knock on the door. Singer is up and across the room before she can mute the TV, poking his head through the curtains. Pam stands up, assuming Jim had come back.

Then Singer started growling.

Her stomach dropped but she went to the door anyway and opened it. “Roy?”

“Hey, Pam.” He held out a bouquet of roses. “I picked these up at the airport on the way home. Sorry they’re not as fresh as they should be, but I didn’t have a lot of options.”

Pam stood in the doorway with Singer standing next to her. He had stopped growling when she opened the door and Roy offered an open palm. Singer sniffed it then looked up to make sure the face matched the scent, before grumbling as he walked away. She knew he wasn’t happy about Roy being here, but she was glad Singer didn’t view him as much of a threat anymore.

Pam hesitated before taking the roses, hoping he couldn’t see the sunflowers Jim had given her only a couple of hours ago. Her “Thank you” was soft, she really wishes he hadn’t of brought flowers.

“I’m sorry for coming by so late, I just missed you and wanted to see you before I went to my place.”

“It’s okay.”

“I, uh… I called earlier to let you know, but I guess you weren’t in.”

She glances back at the answering machine, “Did you leave a message?”

“No, I didn’t have time. Final boarding was being called and there was an issue with my ticket.” He shrugs, “You know how it is. I left you one yesterday, though.”

“Yeah, I got that one.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “So, were you in? Earlier, I mean.”

Pam could feel her shoulders tense and her lips pursed a little. She didn’t want to do this right now. “I was out with a friend.”

“A friend?”

“You remember Jim? We grabbed a quick dinner.”

“Right, yeah. The one that works in the garage, right?”

“That’s the one.”

“Did you have fun?”

“I did. I haven’t seen much of him lately, so it was nice to be able to catch up.”

“Oh, good.” He glances off to the side of the porch, then down at his shoes and Pam hates this. She hasn’t gone out with a ton of guys, but she has found that breaking up never got easier. When he looks back at her, he asks, “Can I come in? I wanted to talk for a few minutes.”

“I don’t know. It’s kind of late, I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s okay. Can I see you tomorrow? Maybe we can grab some dinner?”

Pam blinked, holding her eyes closed for an extra second. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. Toby, at least, had a suspicion that the end was coming; Roy didn’t. “I’m sorry, I’ve already made plans.”

“With Jim?”

She could only nod.

She watched his jaw clench as he scratched the side of his face, trying to decide what this means. It took him a second, but then the realization hit. “So, this is it, then? For us?”

She bites her lip and nods again.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s not that.”

“Then… what happened? Didn’t you have fun when we went out?”

“Yes, I had fun.”

“Then what is it?”

She took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “It’s not really about you at all, honestly. It’s about Jim and me. I think…” she pauses, trying to word this correctly when she’s still figuring it out herself. “I think this thing between Jim and I has been a long time coming, it just took me a while to see it. I’m sorry that you had to be involved.”

It was a long moment before he said anything and when he did, his eyes were narrowed and his voice was rough, “Must have been an exciting few days while I was gone, huh?”

“I said I’m sorry—”

“For what, exactly? For going behind my back as soon as I left town? For using me to make Jim jealous?”

Her eyebrows furrow and she shakes her head, “What are you talking about?”

“You heard me.”

Her jaw drops a little, shocked by his accusations. “I didn’t use you—”

“No?” He interrupted her, his tone becoming angrier, “Then why are you doing this? We are still getting to know each other. I don’t understand how I could leave for a few days and suddenly Jim is the one you want to be with. You really think I’d believe that you just suddenly fell for the guy? It sure as hell sounds like you’ve planned this all along.”

“You’re a jerk.” The words had come out before she could stop them, her hand gripping the door handle tighter.

Roy just stared at her for a moment before his face softened a little, “This isn’t fair, Pam. Please, I just want to talk for a minute, okay?”

Pam couldn’t believe what was going on. She watches as tears form in Roy’s eyes and his bottom lip quivers for just a second. This man is a roller coaster of emotions, she thought as she decided on what she would say next. “Roy, look, I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry that you got involved in all of this. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. Really.” She paused, making sure he was listening to her. “But it’s late and we’re both tired. I think it’s best if you leave before we say anything else we don’t mean. Okay?”

When he doesn’t respond, Pam takes that as her cue to close the door. She takes a step back and starts to shut it when Roy reaches out for the edge of the door, stopping her. “Wait! Please, Pam… I really need to talk to you.”

In the future, when Pam remembered this moment, she would always recall with shock and amazement at how quickly Singer moved. Singer had launched towards Roy’s hand before Pam could even process that he was trying to grab the door. She stood, stunned, as Roy screamed and stumbled past the threshold, Singer snarling as he bit Roy’s hand.

“Singer!”

Roy fell to his knees as Singer shook his head from side to side.

“Stop him! Get him off of me!”

Pam quickly reached for Singer’s collar, tugging him back as hard as she could, “Let go! Singer, let go, now!”

Despite the fury of the moment, Singer did let go, stepping back only enough to show Pam that he was listening to her. He stayed in defense, though, his fangs showing and the hair on his back standing up. Roy immediately drew his hand to his chest, wrapping his other hand around it.

“Is your hand okay?”

He makes a fist a few times, only wincing a little, “I don’t think anything is broken.” He stood back up, “I didn’t even see him coming. Remind me not to hold your door again with your dog around.”

He spoke as if what just happened was almost comedic, but Pam couldn’t, wouldn’t, smile. Singer had acted instinctively to protect her, and she wasn’t about to punish him for that. She just stood there and watched as Roy continued to open and close his hand a few more times. She could see the indentations from Singer’s teeth, but he didn’t seem to draw blood.

After a moment, he finally said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stopped you from going inside. That was wrong of me.”

You got that right.

“And I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you earlier, either. It’s just,” he sighed, “this came at the end of a really tough week. That’s why I wanted to stop by. I know it’s no excuse, but…”

“Roy.”

He waited a moment and she wanted to shut the door again but just before she could, he spoke up and she stilled when his voice came out choked and ragged.

“My mother died this week. That’s why I had to leave. I just came from her funeral.”

***

Roy sighed. He didn’t want to have to tell her like this. He thought she would invite him inside, offer to get him a drink, and he could tell her gently why he had to leave so abruptly. He didn’t want to be standing on her front porch, hand throbbing, as he choked out his confession.

“That’s why I had to leave the note on your Jeep. The doctor had called me and said it wasn’t looking good. Suggested that I grab the first flight over because he wasn’t sure she would even last the rest of the night. I bought a ticket to the first available flight out of Wilkes-Barre and had to leave right away to make it on time.”

He was sitting on her couch now, after breaking down at her front door. He heard her say “I’m sorry” but he paid more attention to the look of sympathy that flashed across her face. He watched as she had an internal battle with herself on what to do, then finally telling him to give her a second to put Singer in the bedroom and then he can come in.

She’s now sitting across from him in the chair, listening to him explain why he left and what happened while he was gone.

“I know it doesn’t change what you said on the porch. I know that. I just… didn’t want us to end in a fight. I enjoyed our time together too much for that to be how we ended things.” He clears his throat and pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. “It just seemed so sudden, you know? I didn’t expect you to tell me that, hell, I didn’t expect any of what happened this week to happen. And I know I overreacted. But you can’t imagine what it was like over there. Everything…” he looks back up at her, “the way she looked, what the nurses were saying, how it smelled…”

He ran his hands over his face as he took a couple shallow, shaky breaths. “I just needed to talk to someone. Someone who would listen.”

She smiled a little, though he could tell it was at least a little forced. “We can talk. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

***

Roy rambled on for a couple of hours, bouncing from subject to subject. One moment he would be talking about his childhood, what it was like growing up with his mom, to how he felt as he held her hand in the hospital, to what it was like driving back to the hotel after she had passed. After the first hour, Pam offered him a beer and as the evening went on, he had finished three without seeming to notice. He also switched between silence, a far off look in his eyes as he stared across the room, to talking a million words a minute, everything he was saying starting to run together. But she sat and listened the whole time. She would ask the occasional question when it seemed appropriate, but that was all. She saw tears more than once, but he never let them escape after that initial breakdown.

Midnight came and went. By the time she had looked at the clock again, it was almost two in the morning. The beer and exhaustion were finally taking its toll on Roy as he began to repeat himself and his words began to slur. She stood to grab a glass of water for herself, and by the time she walked back into the living room, Roy’s eyes were closed. His head leaned back at an angle she was sure couldn’t be comfortable and his mouth hung slightly open, his breaths slow and steady.

Great.

She wanted to wake him up, but she wasn’t sure he was sober enough to drive. She thought about calling a taxi for him, she wasn’t comfortable with him staying, but she thought if she woke him up, he would want to talk more. Despite her willingness to listen if he needed her to, she was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed.

“Roy,” she whispered, “You awake?”

No response.

She waited a few seconds before trying again, but he didn’t move at all. She could try shouting or nudging him awake, but it seemed like more trouble than it was worth.

He’s already out, she thought, it’s not a big deal.

Pam turned out the lights, leaving Roy how he was, before going upstairs to her bedroom, locking the door behind her. Singer raised his head from where he was lying on the bed, watching as she changed into pajamas. She rolled her eyes when he looked at her curiously.

“It’s only for tonight,” she explained, more so to herself than to Singer. “I’m just tired. I’m not changing my mind.”

She woke up a few hours later, the sun shining through the curtains she had forgotten to close last night. She peeked at the clock, her alarm would be going off in about three minutes, so she rolled over to try to enjoy her bed before she needed to go back to reality.

After crawling out of bed, she cracked open her bedroom door and looked down the stairs. Roy seemed to still be asleep on the couch, so she closed the door once more and headed into the bathroom. She hopped into the shower and dressed for work, not wanting Roy to see her in her pajamas. By the time she entered the living room with Singer walking beside her, Roy was sitting up, though he was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. When he looked up and saw her, he smiled a little, looking embarrassed.”

“Hey. I guess I conked out last night, huh? Sorry about that.”

“It was a long day.”

“Yeah, it was.” He stood, grabbing his wallet and keys off of the coffee table in front of him. “Thanks for letting me stay last night. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” She paused. “Are you going to be okay?”

He shrugs, “I guess I have to be, right? Life goes on.”

She just nods and watches as he brushes at his shirt, trying to smooth out a couple of wrinkles.

“I’m sorry again for how I acted last night. I was just… well, no. I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s okay. And I’m sorry if it seems out of the blue, but—”

“No, it’s okay. I get it. Jim seems like a great guy; you don’t have to explain yourself.”

She hesitated, but finally said, “He is. Thank you.”

Roy offers a small smile, “I just want you to be happy. You’re a great person, you deserve to be happy. Especially after listening to me drone on last night. No hard feelings?”

“No hard feelings.”

“Still friends?”

“Sure.”

He nods once before pocketing his wallet. He starts towards the door but before he opens it, he turns back to her. “Jim’s a lucky guy, don’t forget that.” He opened the door without looking away from her as he says, “Bye, Pam.”

It’s not until he’s backing out of the driveway that Pam feels herself start to relax. She was thankful that it had gone better than she thought it would. Well, better than last night, at least. Anything was better than last night.

But at least it’s over now.