Sleep. Too much or too little. The more sleep she got only deepened her feelings of fatigue. When she shared a bed with Roy, his overlarge form denting the mattress beside her she had barely slept; sometimes existing on two, three hours a night. She would get up and ride to work every morning in a perpetual auto pilot, lasting out the day in a bleary haze, doing everything she should and being where she was supposed to be.

Since Jim had gone back to the office and she was now alone for a good part of her day, it seemed she had done little else but sleep. She slept on the couch. She slept in her given room. Increasingly, she slept in Jim's room; a fact she hoped with all her heart he was not aware of. She would last out the morning some days before going up for a nap on his large, comfortable bed. She liked the feeling of security his room provided, with the smells and fragrances that swaddled around her. There was a comforting familiarity in being there, safe against his sheets. She never felt alone in there.

Despite the frequency of her naps, despite having more sleep the last week and a half than she ever had in a month with Roy, despite this – she was growing increasingly exhausted. She was falling asleep unexpectedly. She would wake up on the couch, at the table, slumped over the arm of a chair. Her new found freedom came with many devils, it seemed. She wasn't clock watching any more, wasn't worried about small puerile infractions such as not remembering to count the beers in the fridge or the house being too hot, because no one was going to explode with fury over such things. No one was going to be angry if she came home five minutes after she said would be.

Still. Learned behaviour at the hands of trauma dies hard. Pam found herself compulsively straightening cushions, checking for toaster crumbs – a particular red flag to the quick bull of Roy's rage. It was all so draining.

She had woken up from her second nap barely five minutes before she heard Jim at the door. She straightened out the blue and green striped cover expertly – after all she'd had much practice at getting things perfectly done in a rush - and hurried down the stairs just in time to hear two voices at the door.

"I was just passing by and I thought I'd stop in." she heard.

"Passing by." Jim sounded skeptical. "Yes. Out here."

"I pass and I, er stay." Pam heard through the door.

"Just happened to pass by right here." Jim replied.

"You would not believe how many times this has happened to me. I'm out driving around and then I'm like, hey, there's Ryan out there and the next thing I know we're sitting out there like bro's you know, Batman and the Hoff, if they hung out and the Hoff ever got off of the island…."

Pam heard the metallic scratching of the key being pushed into the lock and briefly considered fleeing back upstairs and feigning sleep. Jim would cover for her, she knew that. But studying the distance between the stairs, the door and the living room she saw she wouldn't make it up there without being seen and so she resignedly sidled into the living room and sat down.

Jim followed her in to the room a moment later, throwing her a semi-amused shrug.

"Oooohhh what is going on here?" Michael grinned with mock sternness, playfully flicking his eyes between the two. "Some sort of secret…" Michael trailed off, noticing the fading bruises on the left of Pam's face.

"I had an accident." Pam said quickly.

"Michael was passing by, Pam." Jim said by way of an explanation.

"Right." She replied.

"It's good to see you, Pam." Michael said. Groaning he sat down in the corner chair, adjacent from Pam. He grinned devilishly at the two of them. "Well, wow I had no idea…. How long has this been happening?"

Jim glanced at him with concern. "No, Michael… no – there is nothing happening." he assured.

"Jim is just letting me stay here while I look for another place." Pam explained nervously.

Michael laughed. "Well okay then. Is Roy here too?"

"Um, no, Michael, Roy and I broke up." Pam said placidly.

An awkward silence thickened between the three of them. "Well, Pamela…. You know what they say… there's fish in the sea. Of course there are sea worms and fungus too in the sea so you gotta be careful what you fish for."

"Oh… um… okay." Pam nodded at him, wide eyed.

"So were you in an accident?" Michael asked. Jim looked on apprehensively.

Pam shrugged blithely. "Yeah."

"That's unfortunate.. what happened? Was it bad, you know like the time I burned my foot on my grill? Did you burn yourself?"

"She didn't burn her head." Jim said pointedly.

"It was just an accident." Pam maintained.

"Oh… okay…" Michael laughed again. "I was picturing something completely different. Those fools in the office." he smirked.

Pam stared at him in horror, before turning to Jim with a frown of confusion.

"What exactly were you picturing, Michael?" she sad.

"Oh you know, crazy stuff."

Pam was blunt. "What did they say, Michael?" she asked, throwing a glare at Jim who shrugged at her and averted his eyes to Michael.

"Michael?" Jim pressed.

Michael's anxious gaze ping ponged between the two of them. "Okay, okay… here's the thing. We are like a big family and I'm like the boss of that family, Phyllis is the grandmother who smells like mothballs and Creed is that creepy uncle that comes to thanksgiving dinner every year but you never remember his name and Meredith-"

"Say it, Michael." Pam said sharply.

"Michael…." Jim added.

Michael squirmed noticeably in his seat. "Pam, you are like the mother in our family…. You take care of everyone in the office and you leave candy on the desk for all of us and you are great at getting Toby out of my hair…"

"Michael, don't." Jim waved a hand at him in frustration.

"It's office gossip, Jim, honestly I don't even listen to any of that crap."

Pam shook her head at him furiously. "What crap, Michael?"

"Well…"

"Say it."

"You know they are… idiots and I just think we shouldn't listen to them. Like Kevin. You love him because he's big and goofy and you want to hold his hand when he crosses the street, but he is so clueless."

"And?"

"People talk… that's it. You have people like Angela who throw wind into the caution and everyone gets scared… but they are idiots, Pam." Michael said dismissively. "But here's the thing…."

Pam listened to Michael with growing frustration, feeling helplessly as though everyone in her world was turning round on her. She heard words, snippets of Michael's explanations – Kevin, cheating, Angela, obviously, Phyllis, engagement, Kelly, obviously, Jim, affair, obviously.

She grew angry. People were dumb – and blind. It was obvious to them she had had an affair with Jim and had broken up her own relationship and smashed the heart of a good man like Roy. The only thing that wasn't obvious to her colleagues was the truth. She gritted her teeth, swallowing down waves of anger.

Michael continued to speak, but she was no longer listening. She was far away in the depths of the most despairing emotions of all, hopelessness and despondency.

-TO-

Jim finally managed to encourage Michael out the door half an hour later. Pam didn't really blame Michael for any of it. Michael was Michael and he didn't have any harmful intentions. His visit had unwittingly brought a new cloud of despair, and she was fed up with everything. She rounded on Jim.

He held his hands up in front of him. "Pam, I didn't know. Honestly."

She studied him angrily, observing the worried lines tightening over his features, his honest hazel eyes looking straight at her, clear and sincere. Her resolve fell to pieces, her shoulders dropped and she stared miserably at the floor.

"I'm so tired of it all." she said heavily. He laid a hand on her shoulder awkwardly.

"Come on, Beesly." he said kindly, leading her towards the kitchen. They were stepping through the living room and into the kitchen when Jim audibly groaned at the sound of knocking on the front door.

"I'll get rid of him." he said automatically, making his way out of the room. Pam closed her eyes wearily. She was thinking of how good another nap would feel when she heard a familiar voice.

"Mom?" she called out in surprise, walking up the hallway behind Jim.

"Pammy." she said warmly. Helene's arms were stretched wide, open and inviting. Pam fell into her gratefully, feeling inexplicably happy to see her. A shape moved behind Helene and Pam felt a second pair of arms, stronger than her mothers, reach around her lovingly and hold her in a tight embrace. Emotion rose up wave-like through her body, she desperately wanted to cry.

"There now." Her father brushed a kiss over her forehead.

"I know you didn't want us to come," Helene began apologetically. "But we couldn't get a second of sleep without seeing you, Pam."

Pam smiled at her. "It's okay Mom. I'm glad you're here."

After the introductions were over with – with Pam, still stinging from her colleagues betrayal, putting a careful emphasis on the word friend – the four adults settled in the living room.

Jim offered Helene and William his room if they wanted to stay. William assured both him and Pam they had a very nice reservation nearby and had already checked in. Helene was looking over her daughter nervously.

"Roy did that?" She looked dangerously close to breaking down into tears again and Pam, ever attentive to her Mother's feelings hurried to reassure her.

"I'm okay Mom, it's not as bad as it looks." Helene took hold of Pam's hand and held it close to her chest. Any anger Pam had left at her melted away.

After rehashing various parts of the last week and a half yet again, this time for her worried parents, Pam was completely drained. Words began to run together and she started to think of nothing but going to bed.

"Pam," Helene was saying, then her soft fingers were under Pam's chin, pressing her head upwards to face her. "I am so, so sorry for what I said to you. I didn't know."

"It's okay Mom." she said tiredly.

"Jim," William turned to him, clearly trying to send the younger man a message. "How about we go out and grab a beer?"

"Uh.. sure." Jim said, catching on. He stood up and grinned at Pam and Helene. The two men left the house, promising not to be too long.

The room was quiet once Jim and her father had gone. Pam and Helene sat side by side on the couch like bookends, unspoken words festering between them.

"I feel terrible." Helene said.

"Don't, Mom."

"Pam, I have to apologize to you. I truly did not mean to take Roy's side over yours. But I knew you weren't telling me something. Your dad was right, we treated Roy like a son, and we trusted him too. When he called and I heard him in tears, I felt so sorry for him. I didn't know. It was wrong of me. I know you don't have a cruel bone in your body; I know you wouldn't have cheated on Roy. I'm sorry I allowed myself to listen to him."

Pam sniffed. "He can be very persuasive."

"He can be but it's not an excuse. None of this is your fault, okay? I hope you will forgive me." Helene said, patting her daughters hand.

"It's okay Mom." she stressed.

Helene stroked back her daughters hair from her forehead. "You look so tired." she observed. "You're not sleeping well, are you?"

Pam shook her head a little. "Not too much, no."

Without a word, Helene stood up and gently tugged at Pam's wrist. "Come on, get up. Upstairs."

"What?" Pam narrowed her eyes at her mother, but allowed herself to be lifted to her feet.

Helene led Pam out of the room and up the stairs, her hand on her lower back. Pam's face was pale and twice Helene steadied her as she stumbled on the stairs. Pam pointed out the room she was staying in. Briskly Helene led her across the room and gently pushed her down on the bed. She hunted around, eventually turning up some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Handing these to Pam, she told her daughter to get changed.

"Mom.. I'm sorry." Pam whispered to her, gratefully slipping under the covers.

"Ssshhhh." Helene said simply. "We can talk about everything tomorrow. Get some rest. We'll sort everything out after." Helene sat down on the edge of the bed and took her daughters hand.

"It's all okay Pam, you just rest now. I'll be back to visit you tomorrow and we can have a real long talk then. I just needed to see for myself tonight that you're okay."

Pam sniffed a little, already beginning to drift off. "Love you Mom." she mumbled.

"Love you Pammy. Sleep well."

Once Helene was sure Pam was sleeping soundly she fussily rearranged the comforter over her daughter, stroked back the hair from her face and leaned forward to press a soft kiss onto her forehead.

Then Helene Beesly made her way back downstairs to wait for the men to return.