“So here’s the deal, Ollie,” Cece was packing the last of her bedroom into a final box, Olivia in her car seat looking on.
“When we get to Nashville, I’m getting a pony, well, it’s apparently a horse, but I’m going to call it a pony,” she babbled on, signing as she went, “and as long as I work hard in school, I can go ride her every day, and when you get big enough, I’ll let you ride her too,” she walked over and touched Olivia’s nose with her pointer finger.
Jim and Pam were grabbing the last few boxes to put in the moving truck, helping the moving company, meanwhile Philip was running around their lawn outside saying goodbye to every blade of grass, each bush, and all the trees, and it was Cece’s job to watch the baby for a little while. She felt pretty proud of herself, getting to watch Ollie all by herself, she was one step closer to being able to babysit. She was one step closer to being a teenager. There was only one rule this afternoon, don’t unhook the car seat, and don’t pick Olivia up, even if she’s crying; just go get Mom or Dad.
Ollie was the easiest sibling she’d ever had. Unlike Phil, she was the best listener. She watched Cece pick up the last few of her dolls and shove them haphazardly into a box. She’d listen to her tell her stories, and when Mom was watching, she even let her practice putting diapers on her. She was perfect in Cece’s mind. She even asked to let the baby sleep in her room, but Pam quickly told her that she’d been such a huge help during the day, and with the move, she wanted her to get her “beauty sleep” at night. Cece pulled the shipping tape across the top of the box, snapping it shut, and moved herself to the floor, sitting cross legged across from her sister.
“I gotta tell you something Ollie,” she looked up, glancing around the empty room that she wasn’t sure she was ready to say goodbye to. She remembered back to painting the mural of ballerinas on her wall with her mother, and adding the pink touches to their tutu’s. She noticed the height lines on the wall her Dad had marked over the years, and the peeling window stickers she couldn’t quite get off. This room had been her entire life, for all she could remember. And it’s view of the quiet suburban street, facing the driveway, and her tire swing lulled her to sleep most nights. She would miss Austin. “I’m scared to move,” she stated quietly.
“What if we don’t make any friends”
“What if people are weird there, and they think I’m weird, and they don’t understand why I dance, or how I dance even though I can’t hear well?”
Olivia just stared at her, bubbles spilling out of her tiny lips.
“You’re right, we’ll probably be just fine. I mean, if anyone sees your pretty little red hair and your cute little smile,” she laughed to herself. “They’ll want to be friends with both of us immediately. And Philip?” she glanced out the window at her brother, running around the yard with a superhero cape, her Dad pulling him into his arms and above his head, plopping him on his shoulders as they put boxes in the truck, “Philip will be fine. He’s just like Dad, he makes friends so easy. He knows all the right things to say,” she felt tears sting in her eyes, “things are just easier for him, you know?” Olivia kicked her feet in agreement.
Cece sighed, standing up, “I think it’s time to go, Mom’s coming back inside,” she watched as her mother, adorned in overalls, her hair in two messy french braids, coming up the front stairs two at a time. She sighed,
“We’re going to be fine,” she assured her sister, “Just fine,”
“Is that the last one?” Jim watched Pam and the movers load out the last few boxes from the house. He’d been instructed to only lift very light things, no furniture, so they’d hired movers, and honestly on this hot, almost summer day, they were all grateful for it. He’d had at least three glasses of lemonade and still sweated through his t-shirt, and Philip was acting especially clingy today. He knew he was nervous, and that was probably the reason he wanted to be on top of both of his parents today, but Jim didn’t really mind. He’d spent too many days without him. He’d forgotten how much of a joy it was to listen to his son talk about the trains he’d been watching come in and out of town with his grandmother. He adored hearing about the new tv shows he’d been watching, and that he discovered that he loved pineapples on pizza. Jim didn’t understand that one, but he could listen to Phil babble on all day if it meant getting to spend another day with him. Every day since he’d left the hospital had felt like a gift. This day, although they’d all been dreading it a bit, felt so exciting. He’d been working to get his teaching degree recertified, and to both his surprise and Pam’s, he passed the Praxis 2 test without issue. He couldn’t believe how easy things had come back to him from college, and he was so excited to jump back into the classroom; now to just find a job.
They’d be in a rental for a while, but the location was perfect for the kids, and more importantly, Cece would be going to an incredible school, surrounded by kids just like her, and the schools parental programs for immersion and ASL instruction were no match to any other institution. He couldn’t wait to get started in all of the programs, and for Pam to start her new job. She had accepted a position at the local art museum as a curator, and would be teaching courses to the public interested in art. He was so excited for her, and when she found out she got it just two weeks before, she had literally jumped into Jim’s arms and squealed. This was a dream job for Pam. His world was starting to become so bright, so fast.
Pam nodded, wiping sweat from her brow, and joining him in the grass on the freshly cut lawn, and laid back against his damp chest.
“I forgot how much moving sucked,” she laughed, letting out a tired breath. He handed her the glass of lemonade sitting next to him. Philip had roamed to the back of the house to the swing set.
“It all pays off,” he reminded her, and pressed a kiss to her head. They were quiet together, and he ran his finger up and down her arm, drawing circles with his thumb.
“You nervous?” he asked quietly. She nodded, not turning around.
“You’re going to be amazing, you know,” he wrapped his other arm around her front, pulling her between his legs.
“It’s not that,” she shook her head, and relaxed against him.
“Then what is it?” she pursed her lips, and moved her head in the general direction of the new car.
He glanced at it, knowingly. They’d barely been driving around much since he’d come home, and he knew why, but he didn’t dare speak of it. They’d discuss it when the time was right.
She inhaled quickly, and he felt her shoulders tense up, she was holding back tears,
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m right here,” he twirled a finger around a braid,
She shook her head, pulling his arm tighter around him,
“You and me? We’re going to be just fine. And that perfect little girl upstairs, she’s going to be just fine. And our other two ragamuffins? They are too. We are a family we have gotten through the most difficult times together, I promise, this move? It’s going to be so smooth for us, in comparison,” She turned around to face him and copped her hand on his face, shaved, smooth, and scars present. He wasn’t hiding his story. He would never not tell it. They’d been through hell and back, and he wanted to be reminded of the gift of life he was given back.
“I love you, so much, did you know that?” She asked him, carefully kissing the mark on his jaw, and again behind his ear, his unruly hair tickling her lips.
“I think you may have told me once or twice,” he smirked.
“Come on, let’s go get the kids before they decide to leave without us,” She nodded. Pam trusted every word he said, he hadn’t ever brought her astray, and everything felt overwhelming and just right at the same time. But that’s what life was all about, right? Things being terrifying and exciting. Things being difficult and so easy. Their story had been made up of dichotomies, and this beautiful, amazing, crazy, next chapter--well, it would be no different.
“Dad, can you please turn the music up,” Cece was whining from the backseat, exhausted from driving, but they were so close to their new home.
“Louder!” she hollered again. Jim shook his head, he couldn’t wait until she got her bluetooth hearing aids so they wouldn’t be blasted with music in the car.
“I don’t like this channel, can you change it?” Philip whined.
“Sorry guys, but country music it is, this is Nashville after all,” he glanced up at them in the rearview mirror and smiled at the three of them. Olivia fast asleep in her car seat. Pam looked over at him with a grin and turned the dial up.
Don't take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you're going don't forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind
