With the invitation to join Jim at the hospital, Pam found it difficult to sleep. Her emotions were riding a tumultuous wave, from feeling ecstatic that she was able to connect with Jim again, to being upset with how Karen had made him feel, to nervous about meeting the Halperts, and round and round again. She knew Jim well, but she was still slightly worried about all that he had told his family, especially Larissa. Pam was painfully aware of the hurt she had caused Jim in the parking lot after the Casino Night. She still hadn’t even fully forgiven herself, so she could only imagine how his little sister must feel about her.
Somehow, though, sleep found her. She felt like she had just closed her eyes when she heard Jim knocking on her door. She looked at the alarm clock to realize it was actually morning and that she had gotten a full—three hours—of sleep. She groaned and rolled out of bed, then cracked the hotel room door open, squinting into the bright light of the hallway, her hair sticking out in every direction.
Jim laughed through his nose when he saw her, a smile plastered on his face that he was obviously trying to supress.
“Morning, Beesly! Rise and shine!”
“Shut up. Just give me a minute.”
She quickly rifled through her suitcase to find something that was even remotely suitable for meeting the family of the man you just recently admitted to yourself you do, indeed, love, who also has a girlfriend you now hate, and whose family probably knows way more about you than you’re comfortable with. Not complicated at all.
She settled on a purple blouse and a pair of jeans. There wasn’t much she could do with her hair on such short notice, so she threw it up into a quick ponytail, threw on some mascara and her favorite lip gloss, and headed out the door.
Jim lit up when he saw her. “That’s one heck of a ‘before and after’, Pam,” he said playfully. He handed her a cup of tea. “But seriously, you look great...you should wear your hair like that more often. Ready?”
Pam blushed. His comment about her hair was offered so casually, but she knew it would stick with her all day.
“Ready,” she chirped, trying to mask the wave of nervousness swelling up inside of her.
—————
Walking down the hall to Larissa’s room at the hospital, Jim let out a yawn.
“I concur,” Pam smirked.
“Sorry, not much sleep last night.” His eyes darted around. “Karen called back.”
“Oh?”
But before he could continue, they arrived at the room and were greeted warmly by Jim’s family. His mom gave him a hug and as his dad stood up to greet him, Pam saw exactly what Jim would look like in 35 years. Jim walked over to the hospital bed and playfully ruffled his sister’s hair.
“Hey, Ris. Brought someone with me. Not like you gave me a choice.”
Pam held up her hand in a meager wave. “Hi! Jim told me so much about you. I’m Pam.”
Larissa smiled a grin that was almost identical to Jim’s. “Oh, I know. I would stand up and hug you, but...the whole getting hit with a car thing.” The room chuckled, and Pam instantly relaxed. She could tell Larissa had that effect on people.
“You should know I’m on a lot of drugs,” Larissa continued, ”so I’m not responsible for any truths I might reveal about my brother while you’re here.” She glanced at Jim. “Just so we’re clear.”
“Wonderful!” Jim replied sarcastically with a smile. He turned and introduced Pam to his parents, who both refused her handshakes and pulled her into hugs instead.
“Thank you for driving Jim all this way,” Jim’s mom, Betsy spoke. “The two of them have always been so close and we all knew she needed to have him here.”
“It really was no problem. I was more than happy to.” She looked at Jim who was busy talking to Larissa. “You raised a good one there, you know.”
“Hey Pam!” Larissa called from her bed. “Did you know Jim had to go to sleep with his teddy bear George until he was 17?”
Jim threw up his hands. “Seriously?”
“What?! It’s the drugs,” she shrugged.
It was Jim’s turn. “Okay…well, Pam, did you know Larissa dated a guy in high school and called him by the wrong name for the first two weeks they were dating and he was afraid to tell her?”
“Really, J?”
“Hey, you brought George into this.”
“Fair enough.” She turned to Pam again, this time a tone of seriousness in her voice. “But really, Pam. Thanks for bringing him. Means a lot. And I’m glad he listened to me and brought you with him today because I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while.”
Pam playfully glanced at Jim. “Oh, really?”
Jim rubbed the back of his head and quickly changed the subject. “Alright, so...who wants coffee?”
Pam chimed in. “Why don’t you let me go get it? Stay here with your family.”
She walked out the door of the hospital room to locate some coffee for the Halperts, who she was already completely enamored with. They barely knew her and had still made her feel so comfortable. Larissa was amazing and Pam couldn’t believe the happiness she seemed to exude after such a traumatic accident. But despite the warm welcome, Pam hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Jim and Karen and what was going on between them.
After getting coffee and walking up the hallway back to the room, she heard voices through Larissa’s door, which had been left open. She heard two new voices, who she assumed were Jim’s brothers, and she slowly approached the door, listening closely. One of them spoke.
“So, Jimbo, is this elusive girlfriend Larissa tells us about ever going to make an appearance?”
“Who, Karen?” Jim asked.
“Yeah, the one you met in Stamford and never, ever talk about.”
“Uh, well, actually...as of last night there IS no Karen.”
Pam nearly dropped the coffee.
Larissa spoke up sarcastically. “You killed her?! Jim...there are other ways to break up…”
“No, dummy, we broke up over the phone last night.”
“Woof, that’s almost worse,” piped Tom.
“Yeah...but, I don’t know. We got into an argument last night and I ended calling the whole thing off. We hadn’t been dating very long and I just don’t really see it going anywhere anyway. She seemed to agree but still wasn’t very happy.”
“Does Pam know?” Larissa asked.
“No. She knows we had an argument last night, but not that we broke up. I don’t know why she would care.”
“Oh, J. You’re cute, but sometimes you’re not as smart as everyone thinks you are.”
Pam decided to interrupt them despite wanting nothing more than to listen in on this conversation, but she would hate to deliver cold coffee.
“Hi,” she waved at the two Halperts she hadn’t met yet. “You must be Tom? And Pete?” She shook the hands of Jim’s brothers. “I’m Jim’s friend Pam.”
“Impossible. Jim doesn’t have friends,” smirked Pete.
“Ha-ha,” Jim rolled his eyes.
Tom gave Jim a playful punch in the arm and then turned to Pam. “Pete and I actually can’t stay. We just came to check on our baby sis, bring her some breakfast, and say hi. I have a few work calls I need to be on today and Pete needs to head back home to Boston.” He faced Larissa. “Love you, Ris. I’ll be back tonight with Marcie and Vanessa, if you’re up for it.”
Pete and Tom each hugged their sister and headed out the door.
Pam handed the coffee to everyone and took a seat next to Jim. His parents and Larissa asked her questions about herself, about her family and her hobbies. Pam took the chance to ask her own questions about their family. Knowing Jim so well, she wasn’t surprised that he came from incredible parents. Pam already adored them.
Larissa loudly interrupted them.
“UH. GUYS.”
They all swiveled their heads to look at her.
“LOOK AT MY FEET.”
It was almost too hard to see but sure enough, under her blanket, Larissa’s left foot was moving. They all stood up, grins and relief spread on their faces.
“Ris, you’re moving your foot!” Jim exclaimed.
“I KNOW!”
Jim ran over to the bed and gave her a hug. His mom called the nurse in the room and from there, the next several minutes were a blur as nurses and the doctor filed in the room, testing Larissa’s reflexes, figuring out the sensations she could or couldn’t feel, and all kinds of other medical things Pam didn’t quite understand. As they all watched the doctors talk to Larissa, Jim put one arm around Pam’s shoulders, his eyes still fixed on his sister. She figured he was probably just caught up in the moment, but she took the opportunity to snake her arm around his waist, basking in the collective hope filling the room. The doctor turned to Jim’s mom.
“We will probably have to run a few more tests but it seems like Larissa is slowly regaining feeling and movement in her legs, which is amazing and pretty remarkable. Most cases I see like this, it takes longer. Now, she’ll still need a fair amount of physical therapy and she probably won’t be able to walk unassisted for quite some time, but this is a huge step in the right direction.”
They thanked the doctor and once again it was just the Halperts and Pam in the room. Jim couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. He grinned at Larissa.
“Competitive as always, huh Larissa? Showing off to all the doctors.”
Larissa just shrugged with a smile.
“You know what this calls for,” Jim said. “Cotton candy ice cream with gummy bears.”
Pam frowned and then squinted. “Does it call for that?”
Jim laughed. “It was always our favorite as kids and it kind of became our way of celebrating things.”
Gerald Halpert spoke up. “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, Pam.”
She shrugged. “Bring it on, then!”
------------------
At the grocery store, Jim and Pam walked the aisles together.
“Jackpot!” Jim announced, holding a carton of cotton candy ice cream.
“I honestly didn’t even know that existed until today.”
“Well, prepare yourself for a Halpert delicacy, Pam. All we need are the gummy bears.”
“Between the grape soda and this ‘delicacy’,” she said with finger quotes, “I’m amazed you still have any teeth.”
“Oh, these?” He pointed to his mouth. “These are dentures.” Jim smiled.
After locating the gummy bears and checking out at the grocery store, they headed back to Pam’s car. Pam grew quiet as they drove back to the hospital and Jim seemed to notice the shift in her demeanor.
“Hey Beesly, what’s on your mind?”
“What? Oh, I’m fine.”
“C’mon, Pam. What’s going on?”
Pam sighed. “I kind of heard you talking to your brothers before I came back with the coffee earlier this morning.” She glanced over. “I know you and Karen broke up. And I kind of feel responsible for that.”
Jim’s voice softened. “Pam--”
“It should have been her to come with you, Jim. Not me. I mean, I’m glad you invited me to come and I’ve really, really enjoyed spending time with you the last couple days and meeting your awesome family, but...shouldn’t it have been her?”
Jim stared at her for what felt like an eternity before he lowered his voice and his eyes simultaneously.
“It’s never been her.”
“What?”
Now Jim sighed. “She was...a bandaid. I was broken and she made me forget about the pain for a little while. Pam, I forgot to call her. My sister was hit by a car and temporarily paralyzed and I forgot to fill her in. I think that should tell you that I wasn’t ever really in it, not fully. And Karen picked up on that and we argued about it and decided we should just end it before more feelings got caught up in everything.”
“Oh.” She tried to process everything he had just told her.
“Oh?”
“I just…” she shrugged. “I guess it just sucks that I almost lost my best friend over a bandaid.”
“Yeah,” Jim breathed, “I know. I didn’t handle everything very gracefully. But…” he hesitated, “I was a mess when I left, Pam.”
Her heart clenched with regret as she listened to him.
“I wasn’t sure how I would ever be able to come back. To be feet away from you again. To walk through that stupid parking lot every single day. So, I used Karen as a crutch because I was terrified of feeling all those feelings again. Which wasn’t fair to anybody.”
Pam found herself speechless again. It hadn’t exactly been a declaration of love from Jim, but it was an admittance that he hadn’t completely moved on like she thought he had. His words bounced through her head and all she could feel was remorse for causing him pain.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Really, I am.”
“For what?”
She took a jagged breath. “Giving you a reason to need a bandaid.”
He gave her a half-smile as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.
“I’m okay now, Beesly.”
He wiped a tear off of Pam’s face that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. “Now let's get this ice cream to my sister before it melts.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Little bit of a longer chapter (for me).
