Assuming Karen was fast asleep, she unlocked the door quietly, smiled at Jim as he popped into his own room, and slowly shut the door behind her. Her head fell against the back of the door, as she closed her eyes taking in the last few hours. So, maybe he liked Karen, but he was sweet, and easy to talk to, and if he wanted to be friends, well, she could figure that out. She needed a friend here, someone she could trust, and after reveling in stories of her childhood, and his stories of his very strange roommate, she felt a little closer to him that night.
“Where were you?” The voice came cutting out of nowhere, vibrating off the bare walls, and Pam jumped. Karen didn’t move from her position in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Oh I um,” Her fingernails found their way back into her mouth absentmindedly. She chewed her thumb trying to think of the right words.
“James has a girlfriend,”
James?
“Oh,” her eyes looked toward the ceiling, and she sighed. How could she be so naive to think Karen wouldn’t notice, or better yet, say something.
“Yeah,” Karen mumbled, irritation in her voice, “So, if you think he’s single, he’s not. We’ve been together for years,”
Pam moved toward her bed, slipping her jeans off, and putting her pajama pants on quietly. She let the silence sit between them, Why didn’t he mention you? she wondered, if this was so serious between them, why wouldn’t Jim have mentioned it. And what was up with this James thing. She didn’t even like the way it sounded in her head, nevermind on Karen’s lips.
“Okay, well,” she pulled the covers up toward her chin, “Thanks for letting me know,” it was cold when it came out of her mouth.
Pam wasn’t sure if it was the chill of fall seeping it’s way into their room, or the coolness between them, but the room suddenly felt frigid.
It had been three weeks since the start of the semester and the piece that Pam was preparing for the art show was starting to come together. She was working on a self portrait for the show, something much more in depth than what she’d thrown together in an hour for her teacher, but she had been fixated on her eyes; erasing them and re-drawing over and over. Every time she went back to work on them, she found herself staring at the eyes of someone else, and not her own. She’d become obsessed with drawing them, and his eyes found themselves on her paper more than she would have liked to admit,
She’d given him space initially, not wanting to irritate Karen any further, but to be fair, she never saw them together. Karen had been rushing a sorority on campus and had become obsessed with spending all her time with her pledge sisters. When she told Jim about it one night over two cartons of luke-warm lo mein, he laughed so hard, he’d choked on a noodle.
“Was she like that at school too?” Pam asked, picking up a forkful of lo mein, as Jim poked at his own carton with chopsticks.
“Yeah she’s always been a little,” he dug the corners of his carton, “she’s just concerned with her image,” he took a bite, and she could tell bringing up high school was one of Jim’s least favorite things to talk about. She tried to avoid it, but he’d asked about Karen and how things were going between her and Pam, and inevitably it came up.
”Wait a minute,” she’d stood in front of his door the following day, asking for explanations that somehow hadn’t come up the night before on the roof. “You and Karen went to high school together? She went to boarding school in Connecticut.” Her hands were on her hips and eyebrow was raised in confusion.
“Yes,” he sighed, his head hanging. “And it was awful, so I don’t really talk about it,”
She was quiet for a moment, studying him, wondering what could have been so terrible about going to a high school in the middle of a city, with amazing athletic and arts programs, she wished she’d been able to afford a school like that.
“Your family must be-“
“I went on scholarship,” he interrupted her before she could say anymore. He bit his bottom lip, eyes trailing to the wall behind her.
“Listen, it’s not like that with Karen and I, she just,” he huffed out a sigh.
“She thinks we’re still...together, but we aren’t. That was a long time ago,”
Pam’s mind was flooded with the image of his hand around her waist, and Karen’s lips on his, but she shook it away.
“Come on,” he said, coming out of his room, “Let’s go get some lunch and I promise, you can ask me anything you want,”
She crossed her arms, her head tilted in submission as a smile spread across her face. It was hard to resist his charm, and she’d only been enamored with him for a few days. She couldn’t imagine an entire year living across from him, but Karen. Karen still worried her. She seemed very possessive over Jim, and the last thing she wanted to do was piss off the person who had first hand access to everything Pam owned.
“Okay, how about we start with this,” she giggled, “where are you from?”
“Nowhere exciting,” he smirked as they made their way downstairs to the dining hall,
“I seriously doubt it’s anymore boring then where I’m from,” she looked to him and made eye contact, she felt her hurt pull when it did, and quickly she glanced away, focusing on the stairs in front of her so she wouldn’t fall.
“Beesly, trust me, there is nothing exciting about Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania,”
She spat as she laughed, “Shut up, you are not,”
His face burned red, “I am,” he protested,
“I’m from Scranton,” she looked to him warmly, and he smiled at her,
“We both win,” he grabbed his ID card to swipe for dinner, “they’re equally as boring,”
Her feet were perched by his head, and his by hers. She’d become so comfortable in his room over the past few weeks. He did have a television, and a super nintendo, so it was a little more exciting than her room. Plus, with Karen pledging Kappa, she was never around anyway.
“So there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” she set her dinner down, and moved her chin to her elbow, he sat up a little straighter, his head almost hitting the bottom of Toby’s bunk.
“I have this um,” her thumb made its way toward her mouth and he casually slipped his hand over, gently pushing hers down, intertwining his fingers in her own, urging her to continue with a smile, “it’s not a big deal, but I’m going to be featured in an art show,” She suddenly become fixated on the patterns on his sheets and his hands, toying with her fingers.
“Beesly, that’s amazing!, his eyes widened in pride, pushing himself all the way up, and when he smacked his head on the metal bar they both broke out in laughter, as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Yeah,” she said through laughter, “it’s just one piece, but there’s a lot of important faculty members who will be there and,” she trailed off as he moved closer to her, the eyes she couldn’t erase from her paper or her mind, only inches away from hers.
“I am so proud of you,” he’d cupped her face with both of his hands, warm against her chilled face, and Pam wasn’t certain she’d heard anything he’d just said. His voice was low, husky, it felt like he’d savored the sound for just this moment.
Her lips met his own, and stayed pressed just for a moment, as she realized this was not Roy. There was no devouring of her lips, just gentle pushes, pulls, and a tongue that crept in, almost asking for permission before doing so. After a moment or two, she pulled away, her cheeks flushed and a smile plastered on her face. His hand found the back of his neck, his regularly scheduled move of self consciousness,
“Jim,” it was her turn this time, to pull him in, her hand on his shoulder, bringing his body close to hers, careful not to bump her head on the bars, and she kissed him. She did so until she needed a breath, and when she broke away, she noticed just how glassy his eyes looked.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
The door opened quickly, and they both pulled back expecting to see Toby lurking in from class, books astray from his open backpack, and beads of sweat from the stairs. This time however, they were faced with a very irritated Karen, hands on her hips, and her lips pursed.
“Pam,” Pam felt as though she’d been caught by her mother doing something in her room that was forbidden, and immediately moved off the bed,
“Karen, just,” Jim sighed, getting up himself moving toward the door, “don’t” he finished.
She looked at Pam. and then to him, her eyes glancing back and forth.
“So, this is why you’ve been out every night,” she eyed Pam, the brown circles suddenly becoming slits before she slipped out the door, making sure to slam it forcefully behind her.
“I’m so sorry,” Pam grabbed her book bag with haste from his floor, and was trying to figure out where she’d even go, since her room didn’t seem as though it was an option,
“It’s not your fault, she just gets like this sometimes,” He stammered, his hands went into his jean pockets.
“I should go,” She pointed to the door and he nodded sheepishly, watching as she slipped out, as though she hadn’t been there at all. But the smell of dandelions and roses drifted over his bed as it had for weeks, and the memory of her all but faded away.
