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Every holiday is important to someone. Even Halloween. No, *especially* Halloween. (Submission #2)

(A series of mini-fics set on holidays major and minor in the life of Jim, Pam and the Dunder Mifflin crew. Blame Max for this.)
Rated: K
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Episode Related Characters: Andy, Angela, Cece Halpert, Clark, Creed, Darryl, David Wallace, Dwight, Dwight/Angela, Ensemble, Erin, Gabe, Isabel Poreba, Jim, Jim/Karen, Jim/Katy, Jim/Pam, Katy, Kelly, Kevin, Larissa Halpert, Mark, Meredith, Michael, Nellie, Oscar, Other, Pam, Pam/Roy, Pete, Phillip Halpert, Phyllis, Ryan, Ryan/Kelly, Stanley, Toby
Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Holiday, Humor, Inner Monologue, Romance, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No
Word count: 22493 Read: 7865 ePub Downloads: 0
Published: April 12, 2021 Updated: October 31, 2022
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Story Notes:
So this will be a collection of probably mostly pretty short fics based on Jim and Pam and company celebrating (or not celebrating) various holidays. Some real, some less real, some almost entirely sprung from the mind of Michael Scott.

I was forced to write this through a peer pressure campaign led by Maxine Abbott (particularly once I realized we had actually had this conversation before in the reviews section), and a number of these will be based off the holidays identified in the final chapter of New Year’s in New Jersey. So if you’re mad, blame her and Agian18, who reminded us all that it was Grilled Cheese Day.

Title is based on a Styx lyric. Fight me.

DISCLAIMER: “It's performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him explaining to me that we are all publicly recognizable characters in a publicly recognizable setting that is the property of our actual owners, and the authors of any fanfic about us aren’t in any way associated with those owners or the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise, and don’t intend any copyright infringement. (beat). So, I don't really know what to expect.”

1. National Grilled Cheese Day (April 12, 2008) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 18] 20 (699 words)
I did not have a grilled cheese for lunch today. I should have.

2. National Jelly Bean Day (April 22, 2006) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 8] 11 (2495 words)
As it turns out, April 22, 2006 was actually a Saturday. Also, by coincidence, April 12, 2008 was ALSO a Saturday. So apparently The Office takes place in an alternate universe where days are slightly different and also you can't lose your job even if you literally give a co-worker a heart attack by pretending the building is on fire. Explains a lot, right?

(Honestly, this could probably use another draft or seven. Or a blowtorch. But if I don't post it now, Lorde knows when I will. The ghost of the tooth mug haunts me, calls my name, beckons me into the darkness. I must escape or perish. So. Hope you enjoy anyways, but if you don't: know that it's not my fault.)

3. Pretzel Day (April 26, 2005) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 5] 5 (1756 words)
Confusingly, the canonical Pretzel Day is in mid-October. What's up with that, Billy? Also, when I first wrote the shoes-in-the-microwave prank, it was in a story called Real Friends, which takes place well before the arrival of the cameras, and the second time I wrote it in They Can't All Be Winners I set it in late Season 2. Also also, I feel like in canon Pam and Jim would have convinced someone else (Dwight? Ryan, via Michael?) to do this for them. Also also also, Belsnickel isn't real, it's just Dwight.

Also also also also, in addition to finally answering the question of how Jim and Pam make up with Stanley after the microwave prank, which I'm sure all of you have been dying to know, there are three references to two fics here that I did *not* write. See if you can spot them.

4. 05-05-05 (May 5, 2005) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 6] 9 (3176 words)
So earlier today, there was some discussion in the Discord about 05-05-05 fics. And I realized I couldn't really name one. And I thought to myself, "hey, I'm doing this holiday thing, I'll just write one, and then I'll be all like, 'hey, I couldn't find one, so I wrote one'" and everyone will be like "OMG DJC THAT'S SO BADASS" and I'll be all *put sunglasses on.*

Cut to me ten hours later with my brain melting, ducking emails from my boss. How do you people write so well so fast? How?

Plus side, I learned some things about orcas, which was neat.

Anyhow, please review, and please feel free to review harshly. I feel like I tried to do one too many things here.

(Bonus points: there are five sets of things I have purposefully seeded five of throughout the chapter, and a sixth that probably came in by accident. See if you can spot them.)

Also, it turns out that there IS in fact a good 05-05-05 fic! It's just part of a longer fic - chapter 4 of BigTuna's "the things that made us you and me," which I actually ended up referencing here. Read it!

5. Casino Night (May 11-12, 2006) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 6] 7 (3728 words)
So this one is a story I’ve had the basics of in my drafts for a while, and the pressing deadline of the 15th anniversary of Casino Night has given me the push I needed to, you know, write it. Little different than my usual style, and it’s gone through a lot of versions since its original conception. Hope you like it, and are able to accept my stretching of the definition of “holiday.” And if you don’t, here’s a picture of a kitten hiding under a hat: https://www.rd.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/GettyImages-145679137-scaled-e1619025176434.jpg.

6. National IT Professionals Day (September 21) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 7] 2 (1932 words)
This one's a little bit of a different spin on the premise than the earlier entries - less set on the holiday, more inspired by the concept of the holiday. In the event that I *ever* finish the four or five other chapters of this that I didn't quite get to since May, some of them will be like this as well. Hope you enjoy anyways.

Dedicating this chapter to DoomGoose, and all the other IT professionals who make the world go round and stay patient when it turns out the power cord was just unplugged. (And special thanks to DG for vetting this chapter before it posted.)

7. Joe Biden's Birthday (November 20, 2008) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 8] 4 (3680 words)
A chapter in honor of Scranton's favorite son (for the non-Americans: Joe Biden was in fact born in Scranton and lived there until he was ten, and he's made it a big part of his political identity). Normally I try not to get political on here, and much of this isn't expressly so, but be warned: here be dragons. The takes on each character's political views are based on my personal interpretation of canon and what I think would be funny, and this is not meant to approve of, disapprove of or push any particular position. (I save that for Twitter.)

You don't have to follow American politics or have a close memory of our 2008 election cycle to enjoy this, but there'll definitely be a few more jokes in it for you if you do.

Hat-tip to our beloved Dernhelm, who helped inspire this one, and sorry it's not really close to Joe Biden's birthday. (It would've happened sooner if we eliminated the filibuster.) I promise I'll get the National Paper Airplane Day chapter done eventually. Maybe even by the next National Paper Airplane Day.

8. Rosh Hashanah (September 13, 2007) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 5] 4 (1589 words)
Shana tovah! Today is very auspicious, in that it marks both the beginning of the year 5783 in the Hebrew calendar *and* the birthday of our very own Maxine Abbott. I couldn't let such an occasion pass without fic.

For background for this Jewish!Jim fic: The Days of Awe are the ten days of repentance and renewal beginning on Rosh Hashanah (New Year?s) and ending on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). Tashlich is a ritual conducted during this period, usually on the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, in which sins are symbolically cast into a body of water, often in the form of bread. While true atonement can only be attained by seeking the forgiveness of G-d and those you have wronged, it is an important part of the process of repenting and purifying oneself. Jewish holidays run sundown to sundown, and the first night of Rosh Hashanah is typically marked by a family gathering and a big meal in which Ashkenazi Jews dip apples in honey to symbolize a sweet new year.

9. Halloween (October 24, 2&*#) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 6] 2 (1089 words)
As I'm sure many of you are aware, the Netflix show about Jeffrey Dahmer stars Evan Peters, aka Dunder Mifflin intern/Michael Scott nephew Luke Cooper. We were discussing that in Discord, and things got out of hand, and this happened. (For those there for the original, it's been expanded and improved, and thank you for your encouragement as always. You da real MVP.)

Please don't think too hard about the timeline. It's AU, which from what I understand means it doesn't *have* to make sense. The point is, it's a Halloween fic.

10. Halloween (October 31, 2013) by darjeelingandcoke [Reviews - 5] 3 (2349 words)
This is pop culture reference heavy, and I've got to be honest: there are some jokes that may not land as a result. I apologize in advance.