I do not own The Office: U.S. version.

I do not strangle.

The Scranton Strangler

MisDirection

"Okay, Michael, I'm heading out. Back in a little while."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

"Where's he going? He better be using personal time. As Assistant Regional Manager, you are required to tell me-"

"Relax, Dwight, he's just using his lunch break to make a run to the hardware store."

"Hardware store?"

"Yeah, uh, something about plastic sheeting? I don't know, I think he wants to paint the bathroom."

"Wow, Andy, your car looks great. You get it detailed?"

"Yeah. Christian Brothers over on Third."

"Huh. Affordable?"

"Yeah."

"They get out blood stains?"

"I don't know. They get out grape juice stains, I know that-"

"No, no, no, for blood stains you want McMillian's on Seventh."

"Thanks, Creed. Weird that you would know that- Oh, hey, Dwight."

"We'll have to move to another town, maybe another state, maybe another country, to escape the shame of being connected to the Scranton Strangler."

"Pam-"

"Maybe CeeCee can get a scholarship with her essay, My Father, The Scranton Strangler-"

"Pam-"

"What, I'll need some way to provide for her education, Jim. A single mother, out on her own. Shunned by society. I might have to remarry just for the money. I know Andy's family is rich. And he did sing to me in Pig Latin-"

"Pam-"