Next morning at work felt almost the same. Michael was the same old Monday Michael, Dwight was just being his unbearable self, Kelly was chatty like usual except today she doesn’t have those green pair of eyes who could twinkle when she’ll look up and those lopsided smiles when she would share their unspoken jokes.
She delivered the messages to the sales team by hand, to have something to do to calm her unrested mind. She passed Jim’s desk and placed Ryan’s messages there and her fingers tingled. It felt like remnants of that night still lingers there even if the people involved have long gone. Ryan uttered thank you without even looking up and she shuffled back to her seat. She realized that she never made a stop at this desk without hanging out with the former desk owner for a bit. How they’ll sweep the bullpen through their eyes, silently plotting their next prank before she’ll return to answering telephones and avoid thinking about her boring life.
She would often doodle to remind herself that she is more than a secretary. That she is capable of more. Well mostly it would be Jim who would admire those doodles like it is some work of Picasso and she’ll feel that a color has been added to her black and white palette. Was he really this big part of her day at work that just a week in and she misses him like crazy and her heart feels heavy with his loss.
The wedding is in a week and there is so much work to be done and she would have chosen to stay home and finish it instead of being here where there isn’t much to do. She stopped planning her wedding at work after Jim’s complaint. Well he took it back but it felt wrong to do it after that and she kept it as after work errands. It only piled up daily chores since Roy was no help. She would often feel she is the only one in this relationship who is working, getting things done and building the relationship. She would often question rhetorically if that’s how relationships are supposed to be like. Jim would have said “Only the best kinds, Beesly”.
She smiled to herself, thinking of her friend who would always know how to cheer her up in the hardest moments. Now she feels like she is falling in this dark place and he is nowhere near. The impending wedding is looming over her head and though her mother’s words were comforting for the weekend, the effect has definitely faded and she is terrified of what this weekend will bring.
This lunch hour she was really looking forward to having some peace to herself and decided to take her lunch bag and eat in her car instead of everyone around when she overheard Phyllis “Bob Vance proposed and I said yes”.
This was followed by cheers from Kevin and Stanley while Kelly freaked out and called out Ryan, murmuring something about - her being the only hot girl in the office who hasn’t been proposed to yet !
As much as Pam wanted to leave the chaos behind, she didn’t want to go before congratulating Phyllis. She put her lunch down on one of the tables and moved to hug Phyllis. Phyllis was just glowing or was it the big diamond on her finger. She flaunted it to the ladies of the office and Meredith cussed to appreciate how enormous it was. It indeed was beautiful and one can see behind the bling of it is the love and thoughtfulness of Bob to buy Phyllis exactly what she would have liked.
Pam stole a quick glance at hers and remembered how Roy picked up one from Walmart, a day before signing the lease to move in together. He said he can’t wait to move in with her and since she wanted it to move in only after getting engaged so here they are. The ring was plain but he said this is what he was able to save after paying the first and last rent and she felt he was the most romantic guy around. He promised to buy her a proper ring once they settle in. That day though never came. He said they could buy another ring or save for the wedding and she chose the latter. She dropped out of college to work as a receptionist hoping to contribute as much as she could for the wedding. While the money would be spent on jet skis, truck repairs, helping Kenny with waverunners. She forgot about upgrading the ring completely and focussed on the wedding. Wedding which she was working for , practically yearning for the past 3 years is happening now and now …..she is unsure. Talk about Irony.
Pam sat with the rest of the gang to talk about Phyllis’ plans because for once she was not excited to work on hers. She regretted her decision the moment later when she heard that Bob is ready for a winter wedding and they have already decided the dates - sometime in January next year. “That’s really quick” she uttered without realizing that everyone heard it. Phyllis looked at her with the same patronizing look she has been giving her since past week “Well sweety, when you know, you know. Why wait forever to end up with someone you want all along. Bob is an amazing guy and could do anything for me. We are in love and he is it for me ”.
Pam felt uncomfortable under her gaze. It almost felt like Phyllis knew something about Pam which even Pam didn’t.
“Careful Phyllis. I married really early. Though we were blindly in love. Turns out I was the only one who was blind because I missed seeing how he had zero responsibilities towards the house, or kids or us but rather spent all his time on the couch, watching the idiot box , calling me for another beer. The Divorce took 1 affair, 2 kids and 100 arguments to get final.”
The energy in the room changed with Meredith’s words. This was the first time she spoke about what happened in her marriage and what she endured. Everybody was quiet to figure out a way to comfort her when she added - “Kids definitely made it worse. They are so much work and with his ability to focus on anything but us, it was a nightmare to live. Though he lucked out with Wendy, I still get to dump Jake on him every other weekend. Joke's on him though. He missed out best years of sex with me. Trust me, it only starts after 35. And why stick to one when you could have a bunch”.
Those words were enough for everyone to get past the sympathies for Meredith and focus back on Phyllis who proudly shared how Bob wouldn’t even look at anything else if she is around. It’s like he has eyes only for her and she is sure nothing can change that. Besides there is no plan to have kids but definitely plans for lot of sex so that would work.
Pam thinks that was enough of the bedroom talk her co-workers could take from the two brazen women and went back to their lunch. All that remained was talks about Phyllis' wedding and honeymoon. Angela was particularly horrified and passed in jiffy whispering something about - not proper for a lady and how they’ll go to hell for talking about intercourse at lunch. Pam wondered if Dwight prefers the intercourse after meal times.
Pam finished her food and made her way back to the front. The chatters were now in the background and she was happy with the little distraction she got. She thought of Phyllis and felt genuinely happy for her. They were together for sometime and Bob seems like a really nice guy. She thought of Meredith’s words and she has to agree that Bob didn’t sound anything like Meredith’s ex but she could’nt shake off the niggling who he actually sounded like.
Her afternoon was spent in routine calls before she heard her cellphone ringing in the familiar “sing” ringtone. She knew who it was, and though she wasn’t expecting it, she was pleased to see the name flashing on her screen before picking the phone to her ears.
