December 5th, 2002

Jim opened his eyes sleepily, casting a glance outside. The edges and corners of the window panes were speckled with crystalline frost, and he could see tiny snowflakes drifting lazily past his bedroom.

Their bedroom, he corrected himself, shifting his focus to Pam, who was still asleep next to him. 

They’d been living together for a couple of months now, but he still had to pinch himself every time he woke up with her in his arms. It seemed like barely any time at all had passed since they’d finally begun dating, yet they’d already spent two entire seasons in New York as a couple. 

Summer had gone by in a flash. Although Jim had proposed in April, Pam didn’t want to leave her roommate Kelly in the lurch by moving out too quickly, so she and Jim agreed to give her until fall to find a suitable replacement. It was way too hot to move anyway. They’d spent every scorching, sticky weekend together enjoying the city, complaining about the heat, then ultimately retreating back to Jim’s air-conditioned apartment to engage in activities that left them sweaty again anyway. 

By the time autumn arrived, they’d fallen into such a comfortable pattern that cohabitation didn’t even seem like that big a deal. But as Pam moved the last of her belongings out of her old place in the East Village, Jim was struck with a memory: the morning he’d dropped her off on their very first day in New York over three years ago, unloading a couple of suitcases and some small boxes, whatever bits and pieces of her previous life she could fit into his tiny Corolla. Regardless of how long it had taken them to get to where they were today, he knew that was when both of their lives had truly begun.

He watched her sleeping now, her hair falling across her face, her eyelids twitching. She stirred a bit, moaning softly in a very familiar way, and he wondered what she was dreaming about. From the sound of it, it probably wasn’t a white Christmas.

“Hey,” he whispered, taking advantage of her brief moment of lucidity. “You awake?” He rubbed her shoulder until she moaned again, this time in frustration.

She opened one eye to look at him. “No.” 

He chuckled a bit, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

“I was having a really good dream,” she grumbled. “About you. Why’d you wake me?” 

“Because... the real thing is better?” 

“Mmm,” she said sleepily, nuzzling into his neck. “If you say so.”

“Pam. Look out the window,” he said softly.

She opened both of her eyes, first looking at him curiously, then spinning around in his arms to see what he meant. When she gasped in excitement, he knew waking her up had been the right call.

“Oh my god, Jim!” She sat up, throwing the covers off them, getting out of bed to scamper over to the window. It amazed him how quickly the sheets felt cold without her.

She pushed aside the curtains to look outside, revealing a bit more of the city. The view from their bedroom wasn’t fantastic, but it was more than enough. He knew Pam had been patiently awaiting the snow for weeks.

“I can’t believe this! It’s actually snowing! In December!”

Jim widened his eyes in mock excitement, knowing he could never match her enthusiasm, but fully aware of the significance of the occasion. The past two New York Decembers had fallen somewhat short of her expectations.

“I hope it snows on Christmas,” she said, dreamily gazing out the window. “My parents would love that.” 

“You and your snow.” 

Pam turned around. “Did you know that New York hasn’t seen a white Christmas since 1969?” she said.

Jim raised an eyebrow. “That sounds… wrong.”

“It’s not.” 

“Well, you can see it from over here, you know,” Jim said. “In bed. Where it’s warm.”

Pam had a huge grin on her face, and rubbed her upper arms to warm them up. As the weather got colder she’d been wearing the pajamas he’d given her for Christmas last year more often, and he never got tired of seeing her in them. 

She jumped back into bed, bringing the chill of the room with her, snuggling in close. He pulled the covers around them, wrapping them both up. 

“Can you call in sick? Let’s both call in sick today,” she said. 

He gave a melodramatic gasp. “Pamela Beesly, you rebel.”

“Come on, I never do this. We have our twelve week ultrasound to go to anyway.” 

“You can’t just wait for the weekend?”

“That’s two days away, what if the snow stops?”

He kissed her forehead. Dunder Mifflin would surely chug along just fine without him, and Pam loved her job at the Met enough for him to know this was obviously important to her. “Now that you mention it, I guess I am feeling a little under the weather.”

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “We can go build snowmen, finally. And maybe even take a sleigh ride.”

“Whatever you want.” If it put that smile on her face, he was game for anything. 

“And we can get a Christmas tree.”

“Do we have to?”

She punched him playfully in his chest. “Yes, of course we do. We’re hosts this year.” Both their parents were coming out on Christmas Day for a visit, to meet each other for the first time and to celebrate Pam and Jim’s impending nuptials.

“Fine. But only because I want to impress your mom.”

“You set a date for the wedding, Jim,” she pointed out. “You’ve already leapt over her very low bar with ease.”

“Well, leaping over low bars happens to be my specialty,” he chuckled. “Speaking of setting the date, though… I was wondering. Do you maybe want to push that date up a bit? You know, for obvious reasons.”

They’d set the date for May before Pam learned of her pregnancy. Jim didn’t care if she was ready to pop on their wedding day or not, but it occurred to him that if he didn’t ask, he might never know how she really felt about it. 

“I was actually thinking about that too,” she said. “What do you think about doing something smaller, sooner?”

“I want you to have what you want,” he said honestly. “Whatever will make you happy, I’m onboard. I could go to the courthouse today.”

A smile slowly spread across her face as she considered this. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Although I don’t think your parents would be thrilled about that.”

She sighed. “They wouldn’t. But maybe… exactly what we had planned, just with fewer people. So we don’t have to make a big deal about it.”

“When are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. January, maybe?”

“You want to have a Niagara Falls wedding in January?” he laughed.

“Well, I guess not exactly what we had planned. We could do it here in the city.”

Jim nodded. “Something simple. Just family and a few close friends. I like that.”

She sighed happily, and began playing with a tiny loose thread on his T-shirt. “Do you want to go get breakfast? That new place on 39th opened up last week, remember?”

He slid his hand around her waist to give her backside a little squeeze. “I do, but I might need to work up an appetite first.” 

She grinned, narrowing her eyes. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” he said, tugging on the top button of her pajama top, “but these pajamas are giving me all sorts of ideas.”

She giggled, shifting her body until she was straddling him. “Okay, be honest, Jim… did you buy these for me because you knew they’d make me think about you every night when I went to bed? Because I have news for you,” she leaned down to whisper into his ear, “that was happening anyway.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down against him, hugging her tight. “No, the real reason was even more selfish, if you can believe it.”

“Tell me.” She folded her arms across his chest and rested her chin on her hands, gazing into his eyes. He tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Well, I remember one night we were talking on the phone. And at one point you put the phone down to get changed, and I realized… I didn’t know what you looked like before bed. I wanted to know exactly what you looked like when you went to bed. So I figured this was the easiest way to find out.”

“You could have just kissed me,” she said. “That would have been the easiest way.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot.” 

She leaned down, touching her lips to his. Every single time she kissed him, he marveled at how lucky he was. 

He smiled up at her. “So, tell me… those nights when you thought about me, alone, in your pajamas. What exactly did you think about?”

“I’m sure you can imagine.”

“I’m sure I can, but enlighten me anyway.”

She looked indulgently thoughtful. “Well, usually I’d think about what we did that day. Something you said or did that I hoped meant you liked me but then talked myself out of it.”

He leaned up and began kissing along her collarbone. “Wow, you were so stupid,” he mumbled into her neck.

She closed her eyes, grinning from ear to ear. “Then, I’d… try to forget about wondering if you liked me and just focus on how much I liked you.”

He suggestively slid his finger underneath the waistband of her pajama bottoms. 

“That. Tell me about that.”

“I’d rather show you.”

He had no objections.

***

Pam and Jim walked up Lexington Avenue, holding hands, a light snowfall encircling them. They passed festive decorations and various Santas swinging Salvation Army bells. Holiday music drifted out of the shops whenever a door swung open. Pam was absolutely elated. Maybe it was silly, but she’d dreamed about doing exactly this with him so many times that actually doing it felt surreal. 

After breakfast, they headed to their ultrasound appointment together. Pam laid back on the exam table and Jim held her hand as they waited for the technician. He reached over to hold his other palm gently against her abdomen. Their secret was still tiny, but growing by the day. 

“How are you feeling about telling everyone?” he asked. “Nervous? Excited?”

They’d decided to wait the suggested twelve weeks to tell anyone, and since their families were coming out anyway, they figured it was the kind of news best shared in person.

Pam sighed, placing her hand on top of his. “I’m excited, just… not really sure how my parents are going to react.”

“Pretty sure mine are going to be thrilled, if that helps,” he said.

“You have older siblings with kids already, so this is probably no big deal to them.”

“Yeah, but I’m their favorite.” 

Pam laughed. “Why does that not surprise me?”

The technician entered the exam room and smiled at them both. She asked Pam all of the standard questions, and before long the wand was on her stomach and the gentle thud of their baby’s heartbeat was bouncing all around the room.

Pam gasped and squeezed Jim’s hand tighter, catching his eye. Hearing the heartbeat somehow made it all feel more real. The technician told them everything was progressing just fine, then printed out the image from the monitor, handing it to Jim.

Pam watched a dreamy expression come over his face as he looked at the photo, and while she was dying to know exactly what was running through his mind, she had a feeling it was the same thing running through hers.

We’re going to be parents.

“I think the baby has your nose,” Pam joked as they stepped outside onto the street, the sonogram photo safely tucked away into her coat pocket.

“Poor kid.”

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” she asked excitedly.

“I hope it’s a girl,” he said. “A tiny little Pam clone. With your nose.”

He took her hand in his and squeezed it, and they continued north towards whatever their impromptu day off had in store for them.

First, they battled tourists to take an extremely kitschy (albeit romantic) sleigh ride in Central Park. Jim even refrained from making fun of how cheesy the entire thing was, obviously knowing how much it meant to her. 

Afterwards, they found a quiet patch of snow and built a snowman, which Pam began crafting to look like their old Econ teacher, Professor Schrute. Jim chuckled, impressed, as he watched her carve out his distinct double-rimmed glasses.

“I can’t believe you,” he said.

“What?”

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out. When she realized what it was, her jaw dropped in amazement. He walked over to the snowman and stuck a bulbous red beet where Professor Schrute’s nose would be.

“Have you really been carrying that around in your pocket all morning?” she asked.

“I thought I was being clever,” he said. “I should have known you’d be even more clever.”

They stood back and admired their snowman, and Jim put his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s a masterpiece,” he said proudly. “I’m only sorry we didn’t bring a camera.”

“Maybe he’s better off in our memories anyway.” 

“You’re right,” he agreed. He took her hand and they left the little snow professor behind.

They spent the rest of the day out and about in the city, window shopping on 5th Avenue, eating lunch at Becco. Lately Pam had been craving pasta, and it was the perfect place for her to eat for two. The snow fell on and off throughout the day, just lightly enough to keep them from heading inside constantly for shelter. She’d missed class back in college a couple of times, but had never had so much fun playing hooky in her life. 

By mid-afternoon, they’d spent so much time walking their feet were sore. They sat down on a bench in Bryant Park, exhausted, listening to a small group of carolers singing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Pam snuggled in close to Jim.

“Well, I had a great day.” He coughed melodramatically. “I’m glad we were both completely knocked out by that awful bug going around.”

“Yeah, it’s a good thing we stayed home to recuperate.”

He grinned at her, the tip of his nose red and snowflakes dotting his black knit cap. He looked so cute she couldn’t help but kiss him. When their lips touched his were cold, and she instinctively sought out the warmth of his mouth by deepening the kiss. Although she’d meant it to be short and sweet, it didn’t take much nowadays to get her engine running – what with her second trimester kicking in – and she had to stop herself from throwing a leg over his lap and all but straddling him right there in the park, when a familiar voice broke up the moment.

“Pammy?”

She pulled away from Jim, his face disheveled, his expression confused, and they both turned to look for the source of the interruption. There, on the corner of 5th and 42nd Street, stood Roy Anderson.

“Pammy, it is you!” Roy was grinning widely. He hadn’t seemed to recognize Jim at all, and stepped forward to give her a hug, so she let go of Jim to stand up.

“Roy, hi,” she said, a little startled, hugging him briefly. “How are you?”

“Doing good, doing good,” he said, releasing her and glancing over at Jim for the first time. His expression changed to recognition instantly, then bewilderment. He gestured questioningly at Jim, then looked over at Pam, then back at Jim. 

Roy smiled awkwardly. “Hey, man, good to see you.” Pam knew he was having trouble recalling his old frat brother’s name. 

“You remember Jim,” she said. Jim stood up, extending his hand. 

“Halpert,” Jim supplied helpfully.

“That’s right. Sorry.” Roy shook his head, looking a little embarrassed. 

As they shook hands, Pam realized the last time she’d exchanged words with Roy about Jim Halpert three years ago, Roy thought he was gay. She could hardly blame him for his confusion at stumbling upon them engaged in a very heterosexual public display of affection.

“Turns out he’s not gay after all!” she said, throwing her hands up and giving Jim a wide smile. Jim squinted his eyes and cocked his head a bit, looking at her with that adorable expression he reserved for when they were in on some kind of inside joke. 

“Okay, um… wow,” Roy said. “So you two are like, together now? How did that happen?”

In spite of herself, Pam found herself taking immense pleasure in her ex’s clear discomfort. She could see him mentally scanning his memory for every moment he’d ever shared with Jim Halpert. Although they were long over, she even wondered if he was questioning her faithfulness to him all these years later.

Jim jumped in. “Well, it’s a really long story, but we started dating in March. Of this year,” he said very pointedly. Pam wondered if his primary concern was defending her honor or avoiding a possible ass-kicking right here in the park.

“We’re engaged, actually,” Pam said. 

Roy looked even more surprised. “Oh, wow. That’s… congratulations.”

Out of sheer curiosity she wanted to ask him about his new wife, how they were doing, but it seemed sort of invasive. She didn’t even know the woman, or anything about their lives. Roy wasn’t offering any information either, which made her wonder if they were even still together. 

“Are you going back to Chicago for the holidays?” Pam asked, because she wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Yeah, actually. Going to see my folks. Should be fun. What about you?”

“Our parents are flying in on Christmas Day,” she explained. 

“Oof,” Roy said, grimacing. “Good luck with that, Halpert. Her dad’s a ball buster.”

“Ha,” Jim replied half-heartedly, biting his lip. Pam noticed her lip gloss was smeared all over it. 

They all stood awkwardly for a moment, when Roy decided to break the tension first. “Well, have a Merry Christmas, it was cool seeing you guys.”

“You too,” Jim said, giving him a little wave. 

Roy departed, and Jim was quiet. Quiet enough for Pam to ask. “You okay?”

“Did your dad hate Roy, too?” he asked.

She sighed. “He doesn’t hate you, Jim.”

He scoffed as they sat back on the bench. “Well, he doesn’t like me very much, either.”

In Jim’s excitement to propose three weeks after he and Pam started dating, he’d neglected to speak to her father about it first. Jim had thought it unnecessary, just a silly tradition, but when they’d all met up for the first time over the summer, her father had been standoffish to him and even cold at times. Since they couldn’t account for any other reason for his behavior, Jim had determined that perhaps it wasn’t such a silly tradition — to Pam’s father, at least — after all.

Even though Pam suspected his suspicions were valid, she didn’t want to make Jim even more nervous than he already was. There wasn’t anything he could do about that now anyway.

“I think he’s just being protective of me,” she said. “Look at it from his perspective. All he knew was that you were my friend and suddenly we’re engaged?”

“It didn’t feel sudden to me,” Jim said. “Feels like it took forever.”

“Well, to us, maybe. But not to him.” 

“I don’t know.” He sighed heavily and looked up at the sky. The snow had stopped and the sun seemed to be trying to make an appearance. As usually happened in the city, their quiet moment was punctuated with the incessant honking of frustrated New Yorkers.

Pam took his hand and squeezed it. “When he sees how well we’re doing, how happy I am, he’ll come around, I promise.”

Jim eyed her. “And will that happen before or after we tell him I knocked you up?”

She laughed. “It’ll be fine, okay? Besides, my mom loves you.”

He smiled weakly, but she could tell he was still worried.

“Anyway, how do you think we should tell them?” She pulled the sonogram photo out of her coat pocket and looked down at it. “I think we should make it special.”

Jim looked around thoughtfully. “I have an idea. Come on.”

He got up and took her across the street, where a vendor was selling all kinds of  touristy New York paraphernalia. He sifted through a pile of shirts until he found what he was looking for, holding it up. It was a tiny white baby onesie with “I (heart) NY” emblazoned across the front.

“Let’s wrap this up. It’ll be a Christmas present from the baby.”

Pam nodded, impressed. “Perfect.”

They bought the onesie, and after walking around the corner, headed in the direction of home, Pam stopped.

“Christmas trees!” 

She pointed at a small area in the park filled with beautiful firs, and looked at Jim hopefully.

Jim had been so game to participate in her self-admittedly excessive Christmas spirit all day, and she was momentarily concerned this might push him over the edge. But one of her very favorite things about Jim was how he always wanted to see her happy, no matter what the occasion, and today was clearly no exception. He gestured, lead the way, Beesly, and she positively beamed at him, tugging on his hand and pulling him along like an excited little kid.

She let him pick the tree, which she figured was the least she could do, and he did a good job. It was a nice size, just big enough to fit perfectly in their apartment, but not so huge they couldn’t handle carrying it the three blocks home. After they paid the vendor, Pam leaned down to pick up the trunk, but Jim urged her to the other end of the tree, which was much easier, and safer for the baby. 

They managed to get the tree home, into the elevator, and down the hall without much incident. After they’d set it up in the living room, Jim poked his head out into the hallway.

“You track down some ornaments, I’ll clean up all these pine needles,” he suggested. “There’s basically a treasure map leading to our door and I don’t want to piss off the super.” 

Jim had a small box of Christmas ornaments in his closet, but she had accumulated more over the years than he had. They spent the rest of the afternoon decorating the tree together, Jim tolerating her holiday music with as much grace she could expect. He even mixed some hot cinnamon-spiced cider on the stove: apparently a tradition his mom had taught him, which both surprised and delighted Pam.

When they finished, the sun was going down. It was just the right time of day where the streetlights had come on but it wasn’t quite dark yet, making the snow falling out the window look like tiny pink specks. Jim flipped on the tree’s twinkle lights and pulled Pam down on the couch next to him as she tucked her legs beneath her, snuggling in close. O Holy Night played softly around them and the entire apartment smelled like cinnamon. It was absolutely magical.

“All we need now is Die Hard,” Jim said.

Pam rolled her eyes. “Not this again.”

“It’s a Christmas movie!” he exclaimed. “Come on!”

They’d had this argument last year, and she wasn’t about to give in just because they were a couple now. “Jim, I love you, but no.”

He scoffed good-naturedly. “One day you’ll come around.”

“I seriously doubt it,” she grinned. 

Pam found it hard to believe it had already been an entire year since she was alone for the holidays with a sad Charlie Brown-esque tree, throwing back tequila shots with Kelly and missing her then-just-a-friend Jim so much it hurt. So much so that she’d actually considered watching Die Hard just to feel close to him. Now they were together: engaged, and with a baby on the way. 

“This Christmas kicks last year’s ass,” she noted quietly, and Jim laughed, pressing a kiss to her temple. His arm was around her shoulders and she held his dangling hand in hers, absently playing with his fingers. “It all feels almost too perfect,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “Too perfect?” 

“Yeah. Like… I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something to go horribly wrong.”

“Come on, don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry,” she sighed, her head resting against his shoulder. “It’s just… sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

She felt him squeeze her tighter. “You were just you, Pam. That’s all you ever had to do.”

There really wasn’t any way she could adequately reply to that, so she tilted her head up to find him waiting to kiss her. It wasn’t long, however, before the sound of the phone ringing shattered their quiet, perfect moment. After their brief outgoing message (which Pam had gotten a not-so-secret thrill out of recording with Jim when she’d officially moved in), the voice of Michael Scott echoed from the kitchen. 

“Hey Jim, hey Pam, it’s Michael.”

“And Holly!” came Holly’s voice.

“We’re calling because it turns out our holiday plans to travel to Colorado and see Holly’s family fell through, which is a huge bummer, and, well... maybe if you guys are gonna be in town… you’d like to spend Christmas at our place?”

“It’ll be fun!” Holly chimed in.

“It’ll be super fun, we will eat, drink, and be merry and gay! Not gay, that’s… anyway, call me back. Hope it works out. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Jim and Pam were silent for a full five seconds before Jim exhaled loudly. 

Pam bit her lip. “What do you think?”

He turned to look at her. “What do you mean? We can’t go over there. Our parents are coming.” 

“I know, but maybe we should invite Holly and Michael over here to spend Christmas with us? I don’t want to tell them no. It sounds like they really want to be around family.” 

“We aren’t their family, Pam.”

“Yeah, but he thinks of us as family. You know Michael.”

“I do,” Jim mused. “I do know Michael. Which is why I think it’s a really bad idea.”

“Jim,” she said, “it’s Christmas.” She gave him her best pouty expression. “Holly will keep him in line. Please?”

Pam knew that Jim was nervous enough about seeing her parents, and telling them about the pregnancy, and playing host at their new place together. Throwing Michael Scott into the mix wasn’t exactly the best way to alleviate that pressure. But she really didn’t want to disappoint their friends, especially on Christmas.

Jim sighed begrudgingly. “Fine,” he agreed. “But remember this moment the next time you tell me everything is too perfect, okay?”

Pam grinned. Surely he was overreacting. 

“Deal,” she said.