For generations, the Schrutes have been a little bit of a mystery to me. When it comes to love, they have always seemed to do things a little differently. It's almost as if they are driven more by logic and practicality than by the heart. Are the woman's hips wide enough to birth a brood of big-headed Schrute babies to run the farm? Can the man identify 17 different varieties of beets by feel and taste alone? You know, just your average relationship checklist.
Dwight Schrute, for most of his adolescence and early adulthood, was no different. Sure, he was attracted to girls. He listened to 80's rock ballads about love on the regular. But he never really understood girls. To him, they were more of a means to an end. He had a desire. A female met the desire.
I realize that sounds pretty terrible. But you see, all Dwight knew was life on the farm. A boar sees a sow, a boar breeds with a sow, and the Schrutes are able to continue having bacon on the breakfast table.
As you can imagine, this type of practice didn't result in many long-term relationships for Dwight. Apparently women don't like feeling and/or being treated like a farm animal? Big shocker. Also not a shocker: Dwight was a little weird anyway. Let's just say they weren't exactly lining up. But he didn't mind. He was occupied with being the president of four clubs in high school. There was FFA, naturally. Then he was the head of the Magic the Gathering club, the Laser Tag club, and he also formed a Klingon club after being kicked out of the German club for uncited reasons. (The Klingon club had two other members. One was Dwight's friend Trevor, and the other was his cousin Mose, who didn't even attend the school.)
College wasn't much different. Dwight did have a girlfriend for a short while, but found she was impeding on his studies and he would settle for nothing but top student in each of his classes, so he dumped her rather abruptly.
All of this to say, Dwight wasn't inexperienced. But he certainly had much to learn about women.
When Angela Martin started at Dunder Mifflin, Dwight didn't initially notice her. He was busy building clientele and schmoozing up to the boss. But slowly he began noticing her work ethic and the way she seemed to scowl at Jim's antics. Enter a godly bet, and I saw my window to get them together.
And then a funny thing happened. Dwight started understanding.
He was the opposite of vegetarian, but made sure Angela always had vegetarian options. He would drive her to church. He would yell at Mose anytime he said a German curse word around her. He learned the names of her cats. Something about Angela fundamentally changed Dwight. He was sweet to her and swore to protect and defend her at any cost (and boy does Dwight have ways to defend, let me tell you).
Aaaaand then he killed Sprinkles.
I guess I understood his motivation behind it, but poor execution, my man. His farmer brain overrode his romantic heart and it cost him dearly. He was devastated.
Now, I have already given you an idea of what life was like for Dwight and Angela after that happened. As hard as they (well, mostly Angela) tried, they couldn't seem to stop seeing each other. I was getting pretty tired of them avoiding their actual feelings and hurting those around them, so I attempted a couple times to deter Dwight, if anything to get them to both realize what (and who) they actually wanted.
First deterrent was Isabel. Honestly, I wasn't sure my sparrow would do anything on her in regards to Dwight, but it did. And apparently Dwight had learned, *ahem*...how to put this delicately? He learned much more about a woman's body, thanks to actually caring about Angela's um...needs…while they were together. So that hooked Isabel after that first night. It wasn't really meant to be, though. Dwight's heart wasn't in it. So after a little while they stopped seeing each other regularly.
Then there was the matter of Esther. Esther Bruegger lived in the same farming community as the Schrutes, so Dwight had known her all her life. On paper, the two of them made perfect sense. She had a lot of the same quirks as Dwight, she loved the farm life, and she was actually interested in Dwight without my help (which is no small feat). I debated for some time about whether or not I should send a sparrow Dwight's way. I loved the idea of him and Angela together, and not just because of the bet I made with Venus. I genuinely felt like Angela brought out the best in him, when she usually brought out the worst in everyone else.
But that relationship seemed doomed. There were (state) senators, and contracts, and botched paternity tests, and stubbornness in the way. So I made the decision to send the sparrow to him for Esther. Before I could, however, Dwight had already made the decision to court Esther by himself.
It appeared that the old, practical, brain-driven Dwight had emerged and he began to simply check items off a list with Esther and if enough of the items fit his needs, that was good enough for him. Love played no part. I played no part.
When Dwight found out that Angela's child was supposedly not his, it was the nail in the coffin in his mind in regards to Angela. So he made the decision to propose to Esther. In his mind, it was as much a business deal as it was an engagement.
And I just. Couldn't. Take it.
So I meddled one last time, vowing to back off for good if it didn't work. I sent the smallest sparrow to Dwight to remind him of how Angela made him feel. How she had always made him feel.
And it worked.
He proposed, Angela told him Philip was his, and here we are.
Now on to Mose and his scarecrow…
I'm joking.
Mose scares the hell out of me.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali