Oscar is the last to leave, Gil tugging at his sleeve.

“Are you sure we can’t stay to help?” he asks.

“No, it’s okay, you guys go have fun.” Pam waves them off. After all, she feels at this point she’s the only single person left at Dunder Mifflin. A fact that makes her cringe inside.

Oscar and Gil leave and she looks around the office for a moment. Today had been a good day. She was proud of herself for making friends with Karen. It wasn’t easy befriending Jim’s girlfriend, but Karen didn’t deserve Angela’s wrath. A few months ago Pam may have allowed it to happen, but her Mom had been right, time really does heal. Though, it is hard to ignore that twinge she gets in her chest when she sees Karen touch Jim or when she passes him something and their fingers brush against each other. But overall, Pam was moving on and she was proud of herself for how she handled things today.

She turns on the radio and starts to pick up the trash around the office. One thing she had been doing for herself, besides taking art classes, was filling her evenings with Zumba and other classes put on at the Dunmore Community Center. She starts to dance along with the music while she cleans up. Her hips are swaying and she’s getting caught up in the music, dropping paper plates into the trash can. She moves into the annex where Kelly seems to have had her own little party. She has a full trash bag by now and she pulls it to the front of the office. The music is loud so she didn’t hear that someone had entered and walks right into Jim.

“Oh my gosh!” Pam says startled. Momentarily indulging herself in the feeling of being pressed up against Jim. She has to physically force herself to step away because this close contact has her reeling, even if it is an accident.

“Hey, what-“ Jim starts to say, but trash is falling out of the garbage bag Pam lets go of as it turns on its side. They both bend down to scoop up what they can before it causes more of a mess. They’re both kneeling on the floor as Jim asks, “What are you doing here?”

She’s busy putting trash into the bag, not looking at him, but feels her face turn red. She can barely hear his question so she turns down the radio and walks back over to where he’s standing holding the trash bag.   

“Um, Michael gave the housekeeping staff the week off for Christmas and I guess I pulled the short straw. It’s okay though everyone else is out…” she almost says everyone else is out with their significant others having fun but she trails off. Because, Jim should be out with his significant other, right? “I’m almost done cleaning up.”

Jim nods but doesn’t say anything. He’s making a weird face she hasn’t seen before. Is he upset?

“Are you okay?” Pam asks.

“Yeah, yeah” he lets out a slow breath through his lips.

“What’s going on?” Pam’s heart rate is already elevated given the dancing and surprise entrance from Jim, but now it’s racing waiting to hear what he is going to say.

“Karen and I just had a fight. In my car. She found…” he starts to say something and then changes direction while rubbing the back of his neck, “she broke up with me. She got a ride home with Phyllis.”
                “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Pam says, taking the trash bag from him. She doesn’t know what to say next. “I had a lot of fun with her today, she’s nice…” Why is she talking about Karen when she just broke up with Jim? Pam you’re such an idiot.

“Yeah, she is. She… I wasn’t a good boyfriend to her.” Jim says, staring at his shoes.

“You’re being too hard on yourself, how could you be a bad boyfriend?” Pam almost stumbles on the word boyfriend. She has no doubt feels Jim would be a great boyfriend but she’s having a hard time saying that about him and another woman. Also, being alone with him is bringing up a lot of feelings she’s tried to push away since Casino Night.

Jim shrugs and looks around. “Do you want help?”

“Um, sure, if you want... Then maybe we could talk? About Karen?” Pam’s trying to hide her smile. Being alone with Jim in the office together is giving her goosebumps. She hasn’t had a conversation with him since his return. They’ve always been interrupted by others. She misses his company and jokes and… well, she’s thought about that kiss probably every minute of every day since it happened. But right now Jim needs a friend and Pam is committed to being that friend.

Jim takes a deep breath and rallies himself, he claps his hands together.
                “Well, where do we start?”

“The breakroom is the last place.” Pam makes a face, because it’s probably the worst room.

She follows Jim into the breakroom and she’s right, it’s a mess. They work in silence, the Top 40 station keeps playing today’s hits. With Jim’s help, they’re able to make short work of cleaning up. They’ve taken the second trash bag to the front door where they stand there for an awkward moment.

“So… the trash goes in the dumpster around the back. We could grab our coats and each take one?” she asks standing up on the balls of her feet for a moment, unable to hide her nervousness.

“Yeah, sure.” Jim still looks sullen, avoiding eye contact with Pam. Pam feels bad for him. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay, the door will lock behind you. Turn off the lights.”

She puts on her coat and grabs her bag. She’s throwing her trash bag in the dumpster, thinking of where they could go to talk. Jim comes around the corner a few moments later, and she can’t help but let her mind wander watching him walk through the snow flurries towards her. She can almost feel his hands on her hips, her lips part the slightest bit and she feels breathless. She hasn’t been with anyone since Roy and she’s letting her mind wander until she reminds herself she’s there to be Jim’s friend.  

He throws the trash bag into the dumpster and brushes off his hands.

“It’s freezing out here,” he says sounding distant.

“Yeah it is,” Pam replies rubbing her hands together, “Did you want to go somewhere to talk?” she smiles at him.

A look passes over Jim’s face and he says “I appreciate the offer but I think I’m just going to head home.”

Pam tries to hide her disappointment, tears beginning to sting her eyes, as she says good night to Jim. “Thanks for the help up there,” she points to the office window.

He nods and gets into his car. He sits in the driver’s seat with the engine running, his head on his hands on the steering wheel. Pam’s not sure what to do. They were friends, then he said he was in love with her, then he left, and now he’s back. Does that mean they’re still friends? Pam sees him sitting there as she walks to the other side of the parking lot where she had parked. That morning, she had pulled in right after Jim and had thought about parking near him. She had been doing that a lot lately, trying to make conversation with him, trying to be what they were before Casino Night. She knew it was dumb, but ever since he left she couldn’t stop thinking about that night – about him. Before she had pulled into the parking spot, she had seen Karen emerge from the passenger seat so she had changed course.

She can see his lights are still on and the car is running and she feels genuine concern for him. She decides she doesn’t care about labels and - friends or no friends, she knocks on his passenger door motioning for him to open the door. He does, and she slides inside. The car is slowly warming up and the windows are foggy. Jim runs his hands down his face and looks at Pam. She’s never seen him look so disheveled. Sure, his hair is usually messy but he looks really torn up.

“Hey,” she says softly. “I wanted to be sure you were okay.”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay” Jim says evenly, staring at the dashboard.

“Jim.” He turns and looks at her. She’s moved so her back is against the door and she can look at him directly. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I should have transferred to another branch instead of coming back here…” he almost mutters under his breath. He reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a card. “This is what Karen found,” he scoffs, “I had stashed it away after the last Christmas party and she went looking for a tissue in the glove box to spit out her gum and low and behold she finds this.” He holds a card up that has her name on it. He tosses it on the dashboard. His tone is angry, “It’s always you, Pam. Everything always comes back to you.” He lets out a huff of air and holds up his hands in surrender, “I guess I’m just resigned to be alone because I can’t-“

Pam’s taken aback from his response. “Jim I… I’m so sorry” her eyes are welling with tears. She had been doing well moving on, so well she had befriended his girlfriend today. She knew it wasn’t her fault that Karen found the card but somehow she felt responsible for tearing Jim’s life apart. Before she starts to cry she gently says to him “I’m really sorry… about everything.” She exits his car in a hurry, almost shutting her coat in his car door.

She sits in her driver’s seat stunned by his response and lets the tears slowly stream down her face. She watches him drive away. She feels deeply disappointed that their time together wasn’t extended. A beer or a coffee together would have made Pam’s heart happy. Just to have a few moments with her old best friend. She waits 15 minutes and then drives by his apartment complex. His car is parked. Satisfied he didn’t crash on the way, she drives on to her apartment.

Back at home, she changes into her pajamas and lies in bed. She can’t stop thinking about the feel of his body as she ran into him and how his car smelled like him. She falls asleep, alone in her apartment, playing the game she usually plays with herself where she tries to fall asleep without picturing Jim there with her.