Pam woke up the next morning feeling the happiest she'd been since before Stamford, Karen, and broken engagements had become part of her life. She padded through to her living room with a mug of steaming tea and sat on the couch cross-legged, looking at her almost bare tree. She sighed happily, staring at the turtle dove, wondering about what Jim might be doing right now. Suddenly, she froze. Karen. Shit. Jim would be with Karen. Of course. It was the weekend, of course he would be seeing his girlfriend.

Friendship. Obviously, that's what the turtle dove meant. Pam felt so stupid. Jim wasn't trying to tell her she was his one true love. He was just trying to be her friend again. And hadn't she told him that they would always be friends? She felt a wave of embarrassment travel from her head down to the pit of her stomach and a bout of nausea hit her. How could I be so stupid? she thought. He was just returning the favour of a gift. He said it himself, he'd had it for years. And that it was for a special ‘friend'. It was probably just something he grabbed from his parents place when he realised he didn't have a gift for me.

Pam wiped her hand over her face and stood, leaving the living room and the tree that she felt was now boring into her soul. She took a seat at her breakfast bar, took out a pad of paper, and started writing a shopping list. She wrote furiously, trying to forget about Jim and any thoughts she might have had about a second chance with him. Christmas decorations, an advent calendar, a gingerbread house, presents for her family, a holiday candle, hot cocoa and all the toppings she wanted. Pam scribbled anything she could from the bucket list so that she'd be out of the house for as long as possible and not have to look at that stupid naked tree any longer. 

Five hours and far too much money spent later, Pam returned to her apartment, ladened with bags. She dropped them in the hallway and peeled off her pink puffer coat and scarf, pushing her frizzed out hair back into place. After putting the food items onto the kitchen counter, she grabbed the three bags full of decorations and trudged into the living room to face the tree. She wasn't really sure what to do with the turtle dove. Should I move it? she wondered. Or leave it where it is? Or should I just take it off altogether? It's not like Jim's ever going to see the tree and wonder where it is. Pam touched the ornament tentatively, holding her breath. She clasped her hand around the bird as if to pull it off the tree, but stopped. But what if he does? 

She let go of the bird and looked at it. So many thoughts were rushing around her head that Pam couldn't think straight. "Shit," she muttered as she bit a hangnail on her thumb, debating what to do. "Ok, you can stay," she said sternly to the bird, "but no funny business, alright?"  

Pam poured herself a large glass of white wine and after finding a radio station playing non-stop Christmas songs, she finally got to work on the tree. She worked around the bird, adding red and gold decorations around it, conscious not to make it a focal point, but also making sure it wasn't hidden. Once the tree was finally finished, she took a step back and admired her very first grown up tree with a proud smile. Her eyes were drawn back to the dove and a wave of nausea hit her again. She downed the last gulp of wine and turned on her heel for the kitchen to make her gingerbread house and catch up on almost three weeks of advent chocolate, intent on staying out of the living room for the rest of the night. 

--

Still trying to avoid the living room, Pam spent Sunday morning decorating her kitchen and coming up with a plan for the rest of the day. She decided to head to the holiday market close to McDade Park in the afternoon so that she could go and forage for decorations beforehand, and drive back through West Scranton to look at the Christmas lights around the neighbourhood. Pam figured she was killing three birds with one stone on the bucket list and with Christmas less than a week away, she didn't have much time left. 

It was only when Pam already had an armful of twigs that she was going to wrap with string lights and a basket full of pine cones in her hand that it occurred to her that she didn't actually know when or which market Kelly and co were planning on going to for their double date. Still, there were three Christmas markets in Scranton and given that they'd been talking about a double date, it was more probable that they'd have gone on Saturday night than a Sunday afternoon. Right? 

Wrong. 

Pam had spent about thirty minutes at the festive market queuing for a cup of hot cider, watching the people ice skating and ‘casually' strolling around the stalls, all whilst on high alert for Jim, Karen, Kelly and Ryan. She'd made it her mission to find a unique ornament from the bucket list at the market, ticking off another item, and decided that as soon as she found it, she'd hightail it to see the Christmas lights. She found a stall selling personalised gingerbread men ornaments and thought that one that looked like her would make a pretty unique decoration for her tree. Pam was deciding on how to make the gingerbread man look like her when she felt someone come up next to her. 

"I think yours should have a little pink sweater on it," Jim said, startling Pam out of her concentration. 

"Jeez, you scared me," she gasped, clutching her chest.

"Sorry," he softly laughed. "But you know, a little pink sweater would kind of make it look like you." 

Pam blushed slightly, feeling warm at the thought of Jim knowing exactly what she was trying to do. "Well, yours would have a little blue shirt and tie on," she shot back, tongue between her teeth with a wide smile. 

"Alrighty," he chuckled. "I'll take one with a light blue shirt and a dark blue tie please," he said to the stall owner. "And another with a pink cardigan?" he said, half to the owner, half in question to Pam.

"And add a white blouse please," she instructed the seller with a little laugh. 

They stood next to each other in silence, unsure of what to say. Finally Jim broke the tension. "So, uh, who are you here with?" 

"Oh, um, no one," she blushed. "Just crossing another thing off the bucket list," she nervously laughed.

"So you decided to do it, huh?" he smirked, crossing his arms. "How's it going?"

"Not bad, managed to get a few done today, and I'm gonna go for a drive to see some of the Christmas lights around West Scranton on the way home, so that's another one too."

"Sounds like you've got it all figured out, Beesly," he smiled.

There was another beat of silence and Pam felt the need to fill it. "Who are you here with?" Pam asked, cringing immediately as she said the question, knowing exactly who Jim was here with. 

"Well, I arrived with Karen, Kelly and Ryan, but currently I'm hanging solo. Kinda hiding a little," he explained. 

"How come?" she asked, a little confused. 

"Uh, Karen had to take some call from her hysterical friend and she's currently driving halfway to Stamford to try and calm her down, and Kelly and Ryan started having some fight, so I'm just sort of waiting it out until they've calmed down," he sighed. 

"Why don't you go home?"

"Oh, well," he chuckled, reaching up to scratch his neck, "Karen drove us here, and Ryan said I could get a ride home with them. So I'm just kinda hiding until it's time to leave." 

"I can take you home," Pam blurted out before she realised what she was saying. "You know, if you didn't want to wait for them and stuff," she added a little bashfully. 

"Beesly, you're a lifesaver," he groaned, bending backwards, "thank you!" 

"Here you go," the stall owner interrupted, handing over a paper bag with the gingerbread men in, "that'll be $22." 

"Here you go," Jim said, quickly pulling out several bills from his wallet.  

"Oh no, you don't need to do that," Pam rushed out, reaching into her purse. 

"Consider it gas money," he laughed.

"Thanks," she blushed. "Oh look, they're so cute," she giggled. "He looks just like you. A little Jim-gerbread man," she laughed, wiggling the ornament from side to side. Jim just rolled his eyes as he tried not to laugh. Pam put the bag of gingerbread men into her purse and they started walking aimlessly through the market in silence. "So, what would you recommend here?" Pam finally asked. 

"Did you try the s'mores place?"

"No, but that sounds great!" she gushed. "Let's go!" As they wandered over to get some treats, they passed a stand full of dress up items with an old timey camera, and Pam stared, her head turning to stay focused on it. 

"You wanna get some pictures taken?" Jim laughed.

"No it's so cheesy," she giggled. "I mean, I need to take some holiday pictures for this stupid bucket list, but I'll set something up on a timer at home maybe, or I dunno, we'll see."

"Come on," he laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the little staged area. "Two please," he said to the sales associate, holding up two fingers. 

As soon as the family on the stage had finished their turn, Jim and Pam got onto the raised platform and started digging through the boxes of props. Pam grabbed a giant candy cane, while Jim reached for two Santa hats. "Santa and Mrs Claus?" he asked, holding one of the hats out to Pam.

"Sure," she laughed, her cheeks tingeing pink at even the slightest, most ridiculous insinuation of getting to be Jim's wife. She pulled the red fur lined hat on and put the candy cane out in front of her as if it were a cane that she was about to start tap dancing with. Jim took out an elf from the box and held it under his arm in a headlock. "Ready? she asked him. 

"Say ‘bucket list," he grinned at her, before turning to face the camera. 

"Bucket list," they both shouted at the camera with wide smiles, a second before the flash went off. 

After striking pose after pose, they hopped off the stage laughing and went to collect their pictures. Pam slipped the envelope into her purse, next to the gingerbread men and they began to walk through the market again. "I don't know about you, but I think I'm kind of Christmas market'd out," Pam said as they passed another Gluhwein stall.

"Oh yeah, I was pretty much ready to go the minute Kelly started talking about ice skating," he laughed with his hands shoved into his pockets. "You said you wanted to go see some Christmas lights on the drive home?" 

"Yeah, cross another one off the old bucket list," she smiled. "I think there's maybe some good ones in West Scranton?"

"Oh no, we gotta go down to South Side, there's this crazy house there, you're gonna love it," Jim said with a huge smile.

"Yeah?" Pam replied, a smile almost matching the size of Jim's on her face, as he nodded at her. "Let's go."

Jim guided Pam over to Prospect Avenue to find the Christmas Lights House, both of them laughing and chatting as she drove them. On the way, they drove through an entire neighbourhood  of brightly lit houses, with Pam trying to keep her focus on the road as much as possible, but ended up sneaking a few glances at the illuminated decorations and Jim. Once they reached the Christmas Lights House and Pam had parked, they spent well over an hour slowly wandering around the neighbourhood, staring at houses as they made easy conversation. From time to time, the back of their hands brushed, or they bumped into each other, and each time it happened, Pam's breath hitched and she thought she might pass out.  

They walked all the way to the end of the block before turning back, discussing their Christmas plans; Jim was staying in town to spend the day with his family at his parents house, while Pam was driving up Christmas morning to her parents in Harrisburg. Jim didn't say if Karen was joining him, and Pam couldn't bring herself to ask. Instead she moved them onto guessing what a Schrute Christmas day looked like. 

Eventually they reached Pam's car and got in, a silence washing over them as they both realised that their evening was coming to an end. As Pam reluctantly drove to Jim's apartment, he fiddled with the radio trying to break the silence. He settled on a holiday station and they hummed along to classic Christmas songs. 

"Hmm, nah," Pam muttered to herself. 

"Huh?" Jim asked, clearly confused. 

"Oh, sorry. Another bucket list thing. I need to find a favourite Christmas song," she said with a nod of her head. 

"Right," he laughed, turning the radio up a little louder. They listened to, and discussed songs until Pam finally arrived at Jim's place. "Thanks for the ride, Beesly," he said with a lopsided grin.

"Couldn't exactly leave you stranded with Kelly and Ryan, now could I?" she giggled. 

"And for that I will be forever grateful," he laughed. The silence was back again as they stared at each other, but Jim finally broke it. "Well, I should probably get inside. Thanks again." He moved to open his door, but Pam stopped him. 

"Oh wait," she gasped, rummaging through her purse for the ornaments and pictures. "Don't forget your Jim-gerbread man." She held out the gingerbread man to him, as well as one of the photos. 

"Oh you know what, why don't you keep him," he said.

"Oh, ok," she almost whimpered. Of course he wouldn't want a reminder of their evening, she thought. He wouldn't want Karen seeing an ornament that was made to match mine, or photos of us of them having fun. For all Pam knew, Jim hadn't told Karen anything about their old friendship. "Yeah, sure," she said as she dropped her hand and tried not to cry. 

"It's just, I don't have a tree to hang it on," he explained, clearly noticing how Pam's face had dropped. "And I figure he can keep Pam-cake company. And the turtle dove," he shrugged with a small grin. 

"Ok," she tried to smile, not feeling much better, despite Jim's explanation. 

"But I will take one of those," he said, reaching over to grab one of the photographs. He smiled down at the silly faces they were pulling. "Alright, well, goodnight Beesly," he grinned as he got out of the car. 

"Goodnight," she whispered to the empty car as Jim shut the door, a smile tugging at her lips as she watched him walk away.