Jim  slumped into his car seat, slammed the door and wearily rested his head against the window with a groan, resisting the urge to swear. Sighing, he closed eyes for a moment, enjoying the quietness of his solitude. What. A. Day. Who would have thought working in an office could be….such a strange combination of boring and tumultuous? His head  was simultaneously spinning AND about to implode. He desperately needed a beer and then bed, but he suspected another night of sleep would be eluding him. This odd feeling of discombobulation was already beginning to haunt him. Jim sighed again. Just a few more minutes and then he’d find the motivation for the drive home. The abrupt ringtone of his cell phone makes him jump. 

“Hey Mom.”

“Hi darling. Are you home yet?” 

“Nah, just sitting in my car trying to find the energy to drive.” 

“Oh dear. Second day didn't go well?”   

“I'm just a bit tired.”

It was way more than that, but like all good sons wanting to be independent and not worry their mom, he also knew he wasn't ready to dump on her for a while yet. Besides, he could barely articulate it to himself. 

“I would have called yesterday, but I lost track of the time getting Marissa settled at college. ” 

“That’s ok, I understand. We all know Marrisa is the favorite.” 

“And don’t you forget it.” 

He can hear the smile in her voice. 

“Seriously now sweetheart, how did you get on? Did you meet your boss today?”  

“Um, yeah.” Boy did he ever. He’d been duly warned, but nothing prepared him for Michael Scott performing full throttle. Once the man was 'released from the torturous penitential institution of all day corporate conference calls’ he bounced around the office like a kid on Christmas morning. While Jim wasn’t blind and could see his new boss actually had a kind heart, he was also downright bizarre. 

“Michael? He’s err….friendly.” 

“Well that's nice. Do you think you’ll get along with him?” 

Much to his desk buddy's (and fast becoming nemesis) chagrin, the boss in question had unfortunately taken an instant shine to him, naming him  'Jumbo Jimbo’ and ‘My Bestest Buddy Boy’. Hovering over Jim’s shoulder all day, bragging about his foolproof sales strategies and even performing a disastrous magic trick, ending with him inhaling and then dramatically choking on the decoy coin hidden in his mouth, Dwight heroically leaping over his desk to execute the Heimlich Maneuver. The office was in an instant uproar, Kelly hyperventilating while screeching for an ambulance with Meredith rocking in her chair, laughing maniacally at the freakish tableau of Michael bent over a chair, arms flailing as Dwight furiously thumped his back. 

At midday, after the dust had finally settled, Michael sheepishly reappeared at Jim's desk yet again and declared he was taking him ‘on the company’s dime’ to the ultimate place for a man to man power lunch, guaranteeing it would be a ‘hoot’, complete with suggestive actions. Jim remembers his face flushing as he quietly declined, making up an excuse he had a dental appointment, while catching a certain receptionist's eye, desperately hoping the look on his face conveyed that he did not approve or care for Michael’s inappropriate behavior and the restaurant in question. The sympathetic smile she returned made the moment and eating his ham and cheese sandwich in the driver's seat at a local Walmart around the corner almost worthwhile. 

“Yeah well, he’s unique, I’ll say that.” 

“And what about your coworkers?” 

His coworkers. What can he possibly say that won’t freak her out? He’s never met a more eclectic or disturbing bunch of people. His workplace was fast becoming something out of a badly written and produced sitcom. Or a reality show. Maybe he was being pranked? Tomorrow the camera crew will jump out and shout ‘Surprise! You're on ‘Candid Camera’

After what he’d seen and been through today, he was seriously considering it. 

“ Errr…. ” he chuckles to cover his very real befuddlement. Where do I start… ? 

“Hi big boy. Wanna sip? Feel free to look anywhere but my bottom drawer.” 

“I once had a dog called Jim. Saved my life in ‘Nam tripping a landline.”   

“Oh my god. Like, I love your hair. It's SO ‘Ashton Kutcher’. Don't you just love him with an older woman? I mean Demi Moore has had work, but you totally can’t tell, and she’s so hot, so he isn’t losing out. She’s so lucky. Do you use ‘Just for Men’? More men should get makeovers… oh there’s my lipstick! I've been looking for that. It's called Berry Blush Crush. Isn’t it the cutest? I have the biggest crush on Ricky Martin. Like Cosmo had a quiz today…” 

“Don't ask me anything. I’m here only until I get retrenched or retire. I do not care.”

“Those aren’t Sweet'nLows dear. The doctor keeps trying me on different dosages. But knitting oven mitts helps.” 

 “Her breeding name is Victoria Kensington The Third, but she prefers Sprinkles. We go to church together. You look like you should come.” 

“Here’s the form I told you about. Do you think my wife is having an affair? Never mind. Sign here.” 

“It's almost Cookie Season. I'm so excited. My favorite is Peanut Butter Patties. Hey, do you smell that? I think it's my computer again.” 

“Fact. A black bear's claws can grow as long as a whiteboard eraser. This is what I’ll expertly wield to make you suffer in the extreme if you do not return my stapler, Padawan. No the claws - not the eraser you idiot. MICHAEL!  He’s looking at me again!” 

“My coworkers? They’re….interesting.” 

“Interesting…in what way?”

“ Well, you know that weird stop motion Christmas special when Rudolf goes to the Island of Misfit Toys…?” By now mom is chuckling and he also starts to see the funny side a bit, “ - yeah well they’re a bit like that. The Dunder Misfit Paper Company." All except one. One lovely coworker on the island is incredibly right. 

“Oh no. And the actual work?”

“It’s work. Selling paper. Enough to get me started.” 

“A year or two and you’re on to bigger and better right?” 

“That’s the plan.” 

Jim is too late in catching himself and a slight whimper escapes. 

“Honey? Come on. You don’t sound, well - you. What's wrong?” 

Jim flicks his eyes up and through his dirty windscreen towards the building entrance. His heart simultaneously leaps and sinks. Pam. She’s standing still in the foyer with her back to him, hands jammed in the pockets of her coat, purse slung over one shoulder, the last watery rays of the late afternoon sunshine beaming through the glass doors making her golden curls shine. It's a very mundane, everyday picture, but to Jim it couldn't be more beautiful. Funny, clever and oh so pretty Pam Beesly. Completely and unutterably, unattainable. 

**********

“So, I’ve heard this place is the best Italian in town. The only thing I like more than Italian food is selling paper.” 

He's talking way too much. Joking too much. But he can't help it. His energy is soaring and the world around him is slighting out of focus. He can't see anything but her. Pam grins up at him, the tip of her tongue cheekily poking between the cutest little gap between her teeth, but he can see she’s trying to cover her shyness and he registers another pang of what can only be described as affection. How can he feel so much for this girl so soon? Who is she? How did this happen? 

“Oh, I like Italian too. It’s even better than reminding Michael to reapply his tinea cream and being lectured by Dwight about the benefits of goat manure when growing beets.” 

He laughs again, enraptured. This is why he likes her. She’s such a conundrum of sweetness and unexpected sass. It's infectious and he wants more, more, more. They are walking towards his car and Jim momentarily runs through an inventory of the state of his vehicle, panicking a bit that he’s left it messy or put something embarrassing on the passenger seat. It's not like he was expecting to meet the most appealing receptionist on the planet and take her lunch today. Did he throw those fast food wrappers in the trash last night? Is his smelly gym bag on the backseat or in the trunk? After opening the door and dusting off some seat crumbs for her as his dad told him a gentleman should, he hurries around to the drivers side, already missing their banter. 

A quiet descends when they are both settled with seatbelts on and in the moments before driving off. He glances over at his passenger and notices she is thinking hard, staring at the dashboard without seeing it. He takes the moment to admire her delicate profile outlined by the brilliant blue backdrop of the sky through the window. Her unexpected stillness is yet another layer. She can be so contrary and Jim finds this incredibly attractive. But then, everything about Pam is. He's about to start the ignition and reverse out, when she suddenly looks up and the smile that blazes across her face almost takes his breath away.

 “Hey. Thanks for this. I feel….like we're friends already.”  

 He can’t look away or take a single breath in or out. So he swallows and manages to utter, “Me too.” 

“I…. like, I know this because I knew I could say that and not worry you’ll spaz out and think I’m going to be one of those coworkers who expect you to be a bestie and start making alliances like on Survivor.” 

 “Ah damn. So this means I need to ditch the tiki torches in my trunk?”  

She smiles again, but he senses something is still on her mind. 

 “So, this may sound weird, but when we get to the restaurant there’s some stuff I’d like to tell you. As my friend. But can we, like, wait until maybe dessert?” 

“Sure.”

He is, of course, curious but he knows enough about her already not to push it. Whatever it is, he can deal. Because this is Pam Beesly. He claps his hands together and rubs them with exaggerated anticipation.  “Ok Beesly. Pasta and tiramisu here we come.” 

As he carelessly rests his arm over the back of the passenger seat, Pam turns her face up and into the curve of his arm, and he's suddenly aware her close proximity in the limited space. He is mesmerized as her eyes widen as she takes a short, shallow breath. If anyone walked by and saw them like this they could interpret it as an intimate interlude. Before he can think what to say or do, Pam breaks the tension by turning away to look out the window and the moment is over. It's then that he knows that she feels it too. Right then and there, he decides to just hang on and enjoy the ride, because they’ll never have these first moments again. 

“Hey Beesly?” As expected she turns back to him and looks at him expectantly. 

“I also have a deep dark secret you need to know.” He grins for effect and of course she takes the bait. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“I'll tell you right now if you like?” 

“Dwight is really your biological father.” 

“Oh my god? How did you know?” 

And just like that, they're back to bantering. 

**********

“ Honey?” Jim jerks himself back to his mother’s attention. “Are you still there?” 

“Yeah mom. I'm fine, just really beat.”  He can’t tell her yet. First of all, it would sound ludicrous saying 'Well as a matter of fact mom, I met the most amazing girl. She’s perfect and I think I’m in love. Like really, really in love, even though I‘ve known her for less than 48 hours. Wild huh? The only catch is, she’s engaged and I still have to work in the same room with her while her fiancé is in the warehouse downstairs.’ Second of all, he can hardly believe it himself. Falling this hard and this fast. And casually referencing the L word as if he was talking about the weather. 

Love. He’d never actually been anywhere near in love. He thought he was in love with Emma Henderson in senior year, but it turned out they just liked each other a whole lot and even more what they did to each other on her rumpus room sofa when her parents were working late. At college he’d never exactly been lonely for female companionship. By then, he’d outgrown his residual high school awkwardness and discovered he had a natural charm that made meeting women easy and fun with enjoyable results. Then he’d gotten pretty serious with Jenny Brinkoff. She was sexy and smart but she was a year ahead and broke it off before she moved interstate.That hit him hard but he moved on relatively quickly. A few empty one night stands told him he wasn't cut out for casual hook ups. It was a one dimensional exchange and left him feeling vaguely empty. So while there were girlfriends who left him flopping around gasping for breath in their wake, Pam was incomparable. All he knew was that her dual enigma of smarts and innocent allure intrigued, delighted and excited him. 

“Don't be too hard on yourself. Things will settle down soon. Get some rest okay?” 

“Thanks Mom." 

“Love you. Call me soon huh?”

“I will. Love you too.” 

Pam is now pacing back and forth in the lobby, obviously waiting for Roy so they can leave together. Roy. He now knows all about Roy. Just saying and hearing that name physically hurt. Every single time. Like biting down on a decayed tooth. The lucky guy in question finally appears, talking loudly on his cell phone and striding right past Pam without acknowledging her as she trails behind. Next to the guy's bulky build and height difference she looks tiny. Jim frowns as Roy roughly yanks the heavy glass door open and walks straight through without checking it won’t swing back on her. If Pam didn't put a hand out it would have knocked her in the face or off her feet.

After struggling to pull on the door to let herself through, she jogs to catch up to Roy, who now is sitting in their truck still talking on the phone. She yanks down hard on the handle of the passenger side door. It's stuck or locked, so after several tries, she knocks on the window to get his attention. Roy has turned away, rummaging around looking for or placing something on the backseat and he doesn't notice. Even from where he is sitting, Jim can see her frustration. Anger boils in his gut. Roy is an OAF.

Pam suddenly looks up and across the parking lot and spots him. He casually waves and tries to look busy, fiddling with his car keys and adjusting the seat as if he didn't just see the entire sad scenario playing in front of him because he senses her embarrassment. That's when he feels a belated sense of shame. 

Who the hell do I think I am? Roy might not deserve her but that doesn't mean I do, even if she was single and knew I feel like this. She might be a bit attracted to me because we click so well but she’s in a committed relationship. Christ, I’m no better than he is. Roy finally notices Pam is locked out and he pops the door open with a glib ‘Sorry babe’ not even bothering to muffle his amusement. 

If I really cared for her, I’d also care about what she wants and feels and stop being so goddamn infatuated. She’s her own person. I've only known her for two days. Grow up Halpert.

The truck roars to life. Instead of reversing, Roy swings the heavy vehicle in a wide U turn, closely passing Jim's car with a squeal of tires, the radio blaring. In an uncanny echo of his own end of day experience, Pam is resting her head against the window looking tired. Her gaze widens and catches him in this blink of a moment, her expression startlingly clear. It punches him in the gut, because this time he sees sadness. Then she’s gone. 

With this thought, Jim takes a deep breath and finally starts his own car to make his way home. 

Just be there. Be patient.

Let her work it out. 

The street lights blink to life.

Whatever happens, happens at the right time, for the right reasons.

He's now feeling a sense of purpose.

I can be her friend.