By Thursday evening, Jim had another headache. This promotion paid better, but he was beginning to worry that he’d spend his entire salary bump on Tylenol. The meetings had run long; Michael and Jan had butted heads all day; and then he’d had to spend the drive home listening to Michael’s complaints. All he wanted to do was get back to Scranton and relax with Karen. When he got to her apartment, however, he quickly gathered that it wasn’t going to happen.
Karen was sitting curled up on one corner of the couch, a glass of wine untouched by her side and a copy of Pam’s graphic novel on her lap.
“Hey. How are you? I missed you.” Jim said quickly, hoping to head off whatever difficult conversation was coming his way. “Is that the final masterpiece?”
“Not quite. Pam was having a hard time finding an ending, so I offered to take a look at it. I’ve never really read the whole thing, you know? Not in one sitting.”
“So, how is that one-sitting read going? Not too well, it looks like. Is it that bad?” Jim pulled off his tie and tossed it on the end table. “Want a beer? Or a Coke or something? Doesn’t look like you’re enjoying the wine so much.”
“No, I’m fine. The novel is fine, too. In fact, it’s great. The characters are really amazingly well-developed, particularly for a bunch of barnyard animals. And the stories are really funny. I’m sure her professor will love it.”
“So why the serious look?” Jim sat down next to Karen and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t resist, but she didn’t snuggle into his hug like she usually did. Instead, she turned so that she could look him in the eyes.
“I just never realized . . . You know, when I saw things chapter by chapter, it didn’t really hit me. But now, looking at the whole thing. I can see it. It’s impossible to miss, actually.” Karen looked at Jim, something sad in her eyes.
“See what exactly? How pathetic our lives at Dunder Mifflin are? You needed a graphic novel to tell you this?”
“No. Not the farm, Jim. The canary. The canary and the fox. They spend an awful lot of time together. Convincing Dwight the Mule to hide in the hay bale. Putting together all that special garbage and food for Kevin the Goat when he thought he was headed to the ‘Big Farm in the Sky.’ Organizing the Animalympics without Michael the Gelding noticing anything. You hadn’t noticed that?”
“Ummm, yeah, I guess. But, you know, you have to have main characters in a story. And Karen the Mink is in there, too. She’s there for every one of those things. Plus there’s the whole chapter when she arrives at the farm and no one but the fox knows what she is. That’s mainly the fox and the mink.”
“Yeah, there is that chapter. But the rest of it. And I wasn’t really there, Jim. Not for most of those things. You were, though. You and Pam.”
“Listen, Karen, it’s just a story. Seriously. It’s not real. I mean, Roy isn’t even in there and he was a pretty key part of Pam’s life.”
“I know. I asked her about that once.”
“You did?” Jim was stunned. He and Pam hadn’t once spoken about Roy in all the weeks that he’d been back in Scranton. “What did she say?”
“She said that she didn’t put him into the story, because the novel was about the part of her office life that was fun and happy and Roy was never part of that. She also said it would be too complicated and too sad to try to explain in a children’s book how the canary could love someone without being in love with him.”
“Yeah. I suppose so.” Jim was still processing Pam’s description of her relationship with Roy. Was that how she felt about him, too? Probably. Sad and complicated was right.
“But you were there, Jim. In every chapter, practically every scene. You were there.”
“Yeah, I guess I would be. We always had fun together. We were friends. You need a friend in an office like ours.” Jim answered quietly, not really thinking about what he was saying.
“Yes. I can see that you do.” Karen looked back down at the papers in her hand. “So, if you were such good friends, why didn’t you ever mention her to me before we transferred back to Scranton?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to think about Scranton, I guess. I wasn’t exactly serious about my job when I was here. Once I left, I just wanted to be part of Stamford, to get my head in the game.” Jim knew that was part of the reason. He hoped it was enough to satisfy Karen.
“You told me about Michael, though. And you told me about Dwight. But you didn’t tell me about your best friend at work. I mean, the canary and the fox are practically inseparable. She’s always there, riding around on his shoulder, helping him out with his tricks, laughing at his jokes. He’s always there, telling her that she can sing if she wants, that she can fly if she wants. Is that just the story or was that true?”
“Hey. Let’s be real here. Pam never rode around on my shoulder.” Jim tried to ward off the seriousness with a big smile. “But you can, if you want. I think you’re small enough, tiny one.”
Karen sat up, moved out of Jim’s embrace. “Jim. Seriously. If you and Pam were so close, why didn’t you ever mention her to me?”
Jim rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and sighed. No distracting her now, he thought. I may as well fess up. “Okay, we were close. Best friends, actually. I thought there might be more; she shut me down. So I left. I moved on. I wanted to be done thinking about her. I didn’t want to rehash it all with anyone. I just had to realize that it was over.”
“Except it’s not. Over. Is it?”
“Karen, seriously. I’m happy now. I have you. I have a better job. Pam and I have even found a way to be friends. Not like before, but civil, even downright friendly sometimes. Why do we have to go back there?”
“Because I can see how you look at each other when you think no one’s watching. Heck, after looking at this story again, I can even see the look on the canary’s face. It’s pretty hard to draw longing on a bird’s face, Jim, but it’s there.” Karen looked down at the pages in her hands, shook her head and sighed. “Pam really is a good artist, you know. I don’t think she realizes exactly how good she is. She’s drawn it all out for you. It’s obvious, Jim. The canary loves the fox. Pam loves you. And I think you probably still love her. That’s why this thing with us has never really gone anywhere. Right?”
Jim hung his head. “I don’t know what to say. I never meant to have this happen. I thought I was ready to move forward and that I might be lucky enough to do that with you. You’re great, you know? Beautiful, smart, funny. I’d be crazy not to want you.”
“But you don’t, do you?” Karen asked softly.
Jim looked up, deep sadness in his eyes. He shook his head slowly. “No. Not like that. Not really. You think she loves me?”
Karen gave him a half-smile. “Read the story -- look at the canary and the fox. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
Jim took Karen’s hands in his. “Karen, I’m so sorry”
“I know. It’s okay. I’ve known something wasn’t right with us for a while. I just didn’t know what.” Karen squeezed his hands once and then pulled her hands gently away. “I called Jan this evening. I knew she’d be in the office late, because of your meetings. I’m going to New York tomorrow to talk about a transfer.”
“Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, you just moved here. You signed a lease. Can’t we just let this rest for a little while? All stay friends and see what happens?”
“I don’t think so. You were right, you know. New York is a better place for me than Scranton. There’s a lot more for me there. Plus I’m not so exotic.” Karen smiled, squeezed Jim’s hand. Then she stood up, prompting Jim to do the same. “Here. Take the book. Read it. Then do something, Jim. For God’s sake, just do something. This story needs a happy ending.”
