AN: Haha, sorry if I’m not totally true to the legacy of Cugino’s, because I’ve never been there! I don’t know if it’s a regional thing (I live in New England) but I’d never even heard of it before “The Office”. So excuse me if I fumble through this chapter a little bit.



Chapter Four: Spitball Wars



Jim opened the door of Cugino’s and ushered Pam through, out of the rain. He couldn’t help but notice how the raindrops clung to her curls, lit by the lights of the restaurant. Ugh, if I start to write a sonnet about her, someone just kill me, Jim thought to no one in particular. They stood for a minute brushing the raindrops from their jackets while waiting to be seated.



It was awkward, just for a second as they perused their menus, but they soon began to laugh and joke easily. They talked about favorite movies (“Monty Python and the Holy Grail”) and favorite books (they both liked Kerouac). He discovered her love for art, and she sketched him a quick portrait on her napkin.



“Wow.” Jim said, looking at the hastily-done drawing.



“You’re just saying that.” Pam made a face, blushing a little bit.



“No, I’m totally not. Seriously, this is really good. I mean, if it wasn’t done with a  crayon on a Cugino’s napkin, I would totally sell this for money.” Pam laughed and Jim grinned back at her. “But since it’s both of those things, I guess I’ll just have to keep it.” he said as he folded the drawing and tucked it into his coat pocket.

 “You don’t have to do that, I mean unless you really want to.” Pam blushed again. Something was bothering Jim, and it was only until now that he noticed what it was. Why was she so unused to praise that she automatically took a genuine compliment for sarcasm? “I mean, I guess I’ve thought about taking art classes or something, but Roy thinks it’s a waste of money, so…” Pam trailed off awkwardly.



Jim’s eyebrows furrowed, and he was about to speak when two people a few tables away broke out into an argument. “Please Mike, I really don’t feel well, I just want to go home…” A young, blonde girl, probably in her twenties was pleading to her boyfriend.



“Hell no baby! I’m hanging out with my buddies! Why do you always have to be such a drag?!” The girl looked close to tears, and her face flushed when she realized that all other conversation in the restaurant had died out and people were watching them.



“Mike, I just…” Her lip began to tremble. Her boyfriend just rolled his eyes, already a little big drunk despite the fact that it was only 12 AM. It made Jim a little bit sick to hear the girl plead like that only for the man to be so callous.



“Oh God, are you gonna start blubbering now? Well I’m not going to take you home, so forget it. Find your own damn ride home.” And with that, the man turned back to his friends. It seemed it took everything the girl had not to burst into tears as she called a taxi.



Jim whistled. “Wow, what an asshole.” He mused, shaking his head slowly. Pam nodded, looking down at the table. Jim noticed something a little evasive in her behavior, and he wondered if she was truly upset by this. “Hey there killer, you okay?”



“‘Killer’?” Pam looked up, smiling. Jim grinned back. “Yeah, I’m fine, just…what an asshole.” She sighed. She was looking at the man, who was already back to joking and laughing loudly with his friends. When she looked back at Jim, there was an angry glint in her eyes that took Jim aback. “What kind of man treates his girlfriend like that?!” She asked.



“No kind of man.” Jim shrugged. “A real man would never do that.” It bothered him that this resonated so much with her.



“I just wanna do something, like…” Pam looked about helplessly, but her lit up once they fell upon her straw. Very business like, she tore up a small piece of her straw wrapper and rolled it up in a little ball. Then to Jim’s shock, she popped it in her mouth. She got her straw and placed it delicately to her lips, then closed one of her eyes to aim more accurately. Jim watched, slack-jawed, as she proceeded to launch a spitball at “Mike”. It hit him on the side of his thick neck, and he swatted at it like a mosquito. Realizing finally what it was, he looked around suspiciously, but Pam was already drinking inconspicuously from her glass of Coke.



Jim was amazed. “That…was…glorious.” He announced slowly, and Pam giggled, pleased with his praise. He quickly removed his straw from his drink and prepared a launcher. He slyly brought his straw up to the corner of his mouth and sent a spitball into Mike’s hair.



Pam gasped. “Well done Halpert!” She laughed, preparing some more ammo.



“50 points for the ear.” Jim whispered wickedly.



***



Jim and Pam reentered the office, still laughing. They had continued their assault on Mike all throughout their lunch, devising their own complex point system. Mike had grown more and more agitated, and Jim had decided that to remove themselves from suspicion they had to attack him from all angles. They would get up and shift around the room one at a time, going either to the bathroom or to look at the fish tank. Then, lightning quick they would spin around, fire, and then return to their table calmly. Pam almost began to cry with laughter when Mike began to accuse his friends, then the waiters. It was when Mike began to look at them suspiciously that they decided it was time to make their escape. Jim insisted on paying, and Pam felt guilty and pleased about it at the same time.



Jim sighed as he looked around the office. “Back here again…” He said wryly. He followed Pam back to her desk and leaned on the front as she sat behind it.



“How long as you worked here?” Pam asked suddenly, resting her head on her hands.



“Um, around two years I think. Yeah, two years.” He nodded, surprised. “Why do you ask?”



“Just…it seems like you could do a lot more than this.” Pam smiled, and Jim looked a little taken aback.



“I don’t know,” Jim shrugged, frowning. “It’s just a job to make rent. While I’m sorting out what I really want to do with my life.”



“What’d you major in in college?”



“English.” Jim chuckled. “Just you know, the most general thing I could find.” Pam laughed. “I don’t know, maybe it’d be cool to be an English teacher or something. I just want to be sure before I lose the job I have here. I have a solid job.” Jim realized it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than her. “Well, I should get back to work.” He smiled softly and returned to his desk.



***



As Jim was coming out of the bathroom later, Dwight cornered him in the break room. “So, you’re conspiring with the enemy now, is that it?!”



“What?” Jim said incredulously, forgetting about the ideas he had put in Dwight’s head about Pam earlier.



“You’re consorting with the spy!!!” Dwight accused, staring at Jim intensely.



“Firstly, there was no consorting. She has a fiancé.” Jim tried to shake Dwight’s hand off his shoulder. “And secondly please don’t touch me. Ever. Anyway,” he continued “I’m just pumping her for information.” He internally winced at the not so subtle dirty connotations of that sentence. He finally managed to shrug off Dwight’s grip on his shoulder.



Dwight’s grimace turned into a sly smile. “Alright Jim!” He cried, pumping his fist into the air. Jim rolled his eyes.



“Keep it down will you? You’ll ruin my cover.” Jim rolled his eyes and returned to his desk.



***



AN: Alright guys, any ideas of what should happen next? What do you want to see? Review!