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Chapter 2: Just a Receptionist?  

Jim couldn’t help himself from looking over at the reception area at least once every few minutes. The new girl (Pam, he couldn’t keep calling her the new girl in his head or he knew he would say it to her face) was definitely a sight better than the crotchety old receptionist who had just retired to Key West. Jim was definitely not sad to see that old toad go. Pam had picked up the whole system fairly quickly, while Jim was almost positive that the old receptionist had retired from Dunder-Mifflin without ever having figured out how to put someone on hold. But Jim could hardily blame her, seeing as she was probably around before electricity (much less telephones) anyway.

“What are you looking at?” Someone whispered in Jim’s ear and he jumped about a foot in the air, not hearing Dwight come up behind him. Jim wrinkled his nose at the beet-like smell that coated Dwight’s breath.

“Jesus Dwight, someone really needs to turn you onto flossing.” Jim said, pinching his nose. Teasing Dwight came as second nature to him, and he rarely needed to think of ways to make fun of him. Dwight usually just presented it to him. He was a very mockable person.

Dwight quickly straightened and covered his mouth self consciously. “I’ll have you know,” he said pretentiously “My grandfather, Dwight K. Schrute, never flossed a day in his life, and he lived to 100! And my dental hygiene is of no matter to you!” Jim simply shrugged and turned back to the Sudoku game on his computer.

“So have you heard anything about the new receptionist?” Dwight’s voice was right next to Jim’s ear again, and Jim sighed in exasperation.

“Dwight, seriously, are we going to have to have the ‘personal space’ talk again?” Jim asked plaintatively, leaning as far as he could from Dwight’s toxic breath. Finally he just resigned himself to the fact that the sooner he answered Dwight, the sooner Dwight would go away. “All I know about her is that her name is Pam Beesly, she just started here, and she’s 26” (AN: I don’t know Pam or Jenna Fischer’s real age, so I just picked a random one) Jim only knew Pam’s age because Michael had called him in early to discuss whether or not the age difference between him and Pam could be an “issue” in their “relationship”. Jim shuddered at the thought.

“Hmm…” Dwight looked at Pam suspiciously, but that’s how he was to most everyone anyway. Jim quickly saw an opportunity to mess with him. God, I can’t get over how sad it is that one of my main purposes in life is to annoy Dwight! Jim thought to himself.

“Well… I have heard something else.” Jim said with fake hesitance, knowing that that’s all he needed to do and Dwight would be hooked.

Jim was right. “What is it?! What have you heard?” Dwight was instantly crouched by Jim’s side, intent on his every word. Jim made a big show of being secretive.

“You can’t tell anyone about this okay?” Jim whispered, mock scrutinizing the office for eavesdroppers.

“Of course. You have my word of honor as a Schrute and as a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy on the weekends.” Dwight said seriously, eyes darting around the room.

“By Thor, that means she must be a spy for corporate you imbecile!” Dwight hissed angrily. Despite his attempt for discretion, Dwight was still loud enough to catch Pam’s attention, and she looked up from her computer at the reception desk. Jim just waved and smiled, but Dwight froze. “Just…be,,,cool…” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “Act…natural…” Dwight then smiled hugely (a strange look for him) and he waved in what he considered a cheerful manner. Pam’s eyebrows furrowed a bit, she waved back cautiously, and went back to work. Dwight sighed in relief, and Jim flinched once again at his bad breath.

As soon as Pam looked away, Dwight mumbled “I must investigate this” before running back to his desk.

Jim snickered quietly, and reminded himself to follow up on this more later. But for now, he had nothing to do, so he might as well go get more acquainted with Pam. Just to be friendly he told himself, even though he didn’t believe it.

He got up from his desk and, shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked over to the reception area. Pam was sorting through a large stack of messy-looking folders that covered the large, circular desk. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even hear him approach, and didn’t notice still as he leaned again the desk on his forearms. “Hey” Jim said, and he immediately regretted it. Great opening line Jim. Yup, that was just stellar. She’s already swept off her feet he berated himself as Pam looked up.

“Hey Jim” she smiled, and he couldn’t help but feel a little excited just at the fact that she remembered his name.

“So, how’re your new receptionist duties going? I hope it’s not too much of a burden.” Jim asked as he fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Not too bad. I have a question though.”

“Yeah?”

“Was the receptionist before me crazy?”

Jim laughed. “Well, lets just say that she was…socially inept. And unorganized. And…oh, let’s just call her senile.” Pam giggled, which urged Jim on. “I will forever miss her fragrance however…a mixture of wet dog and mothballs.” Jim made a face and Pam laughed again. “Why do you ask? Are things a little bit messy back there?”

“ ‘A bit’ is probably the understatement of the century.” Pam sighed. “I just can’t figure out her system! It’s not alphabetical, not chronological…I’m just terrified it’s autobiographical or something.” Pam rested her head on her hand, glaring at the folders.

“Autobiographical like in ‘High Fidelity’?” Jim asked, hoping she‘d get the reference.

Pam smiled “Yeah, that’s one of my favorites movies.”

“Me too! John Cusack is, like, a total babe!!!” Jim joked, adopting a high-pitched Valley Girl accent and fluttering his eyelashes.

“Ohmigod, I know! He’s got such great hair!” Pam exclaimed, catching on right away. Jim chucked, but stopped quickly after he saw the smile fade from Pam’s face. He saw her looking past him, and he turned to follow her gaze. He coughed to cover up his laughter as he saw Dwight, camouflaged horrible, hiding behind one of the office’s sickly plants. “Okay,” Pam whispered “Since you sit next to that guy, maybe you have a clue as to why he’s been staring at me all day.”

“Well,” Jim leaned forward so Pam could hear him but Dwight could not. “I kinda sorta told him that you’re a spy from corporate. I hope you don’t mind, I’ll totally just call it off if you want, he’s just so easy to prank and…” Jim trailed off when he noticed that Pam didn’t look upset or anything. Instead, she had this new kind of mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I’m in.” She grinned. “What’s the game plan?”

x*x*x*x

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