Roy sat in his apartment alone, long after Darryl had left. He knew that Darryl was trying to help him get over Pam, and Roy really appreciated it, he really did. The fact of the matter was, though, that Darryl would never understand the history he had with Pam. That's why when Darryl kept trying to introduce him to different girls, Roy kept blowing them off. He'd casually pretend he wasn't interested at all. He'd act in ways he knew was sure to upset them. He had nine years of practice with Pam, after all. Little by little, he could see the disappointment whittle away at Darryl's patience. Eventually, sensing it was a lost cost, he stopped bringing Roy out to the bars and instead just came over Roy's apartment occasionally to catch the game on TV or just to drink a few beers.
This particular night, Roy had come off a little bit distracted when Darryl suggested that his current girlfriend had a sister in downtown Scranton who was single. Or maybe it was his sister's girlfriend, Roy hadn't been paying attention at all.
“Hmm?” Roy mumbled, snapping back to reality to find Darryl staring at him pointedly
“You haven't been listening at all, have you man.”
“No, I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about... something,” Roy responded slowly, not quite sure if he wanted to be truthful and just say he was thinking about Pam.
“Like I was saying,” He sighed, “This girl, Rachel, has got the greatest ass. I tell you, If you just saw her, you'd believe me and realize that she's perfect for you,” Darryl added excitedly.
Roy blinked a few times, and turned to face him, his face somewhere between a glare and exhaustion. Finally, his words coming out more harshly than he intended, “Why is that? Because she has a 'great ass'? Is that what makes her perfect for me? Listen, I appreciate everything you've done for me, I really do. But you haven't been in a relationship with someone like Pam. You don't know what it's like to wake up next to the same person for nine years just to lose them with no explanation”
With that, Darryl just finished his beer, got up and walked to the door, dropping his beer can in the trash before turning to face Roy, who was now leaning back on the couch which his hands in his hair. “I may not have been in a relationship with Pam for nine years. I may not have all the answers either, but the thing you need to ask yourself is if she's worth it. I mean, sure, she was great to you while you were together in high school, and for a few years after, but didn't you ever stop to think maybe she wasn't the girl for you? Maybe you guys drifted apart? And honestly, man, I'd open my eyes. She left you real quick for no reason only a few weeks after Halpert mysteriously disappeared. And ever since Casino Night, that's the only thing the camera crew talks about is Halpert and Casino Night,” Darryl cautiously chose his words. He knew what he was saying was upsetting Roy, who was shifting around nervously and gritting his teeth. “If you even bring it up to them, either, they just mention a non-disclosure agreement and walk away. If you ask me, something happened that night, and now that he's back from Stamford, you'd better either get your game together or just give up.”
And with that, Darryl quickly walked out and quietly shut the door behind him, not giving Roy the chance to say anything back that he would regret. Roy just leaned back and stared at the ceiling, letting what he was just told sink in. Sure, he always knew Jim and Pam had their friendship and their pranks. Pam always seemed so excited when she came home and relayed a story about how they put Dwight's stuff in a vending machine or how they tricked him into not coming into work one day. But was it even possible that Pam had been cheating on him? He quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind, reassuring himself, “No, Halpert's a good guy. He'd never put the moves on Pam.” He quickly cracked open another beer to help drown those thoughts.
It was an hour and a half later when Roy peered into the empty Coors light cardboard box, giving it a little shake to help determine if it was really empty. “Shit, I think I bought a defective pack. This one definitely didn't as many beers in it as it was supposed to,” he slurred, to no one in particular. He turned around slowly, and upon seeing the mess of half crushed beer cans laid out on the coffee table, he waved his hand dismissively, as if he was avoiding a debate with them. Truth be told, he hadn't really drank in any great amount since he got busted for drunk driving, and he couldn't really hold his alcohol any more. He grabbed his keys out of his work jacket and walked quickly out the front door of the apartment into the brisk January air, as if suddenly filled with resolve.
He had honestly meant to drive to the store to get more beer. That's what he kept telling himself, anyway. But Darryl's words kept playing over and over again in his mind. “You'd better get your game together,” he had said. Even though Darryl was being an idiot about this whole thing, at least those words offered a little bit of an epiphany. He slowly drove by the front of Pam's apartment, not bothering to notice that all the lights were off. In the drive over, he sobered up a little, at least so he had thought. He was now sober enough to realize that he was drunk. Sort of. If that made any sense. His new sober outlook told him that if Pam knew he drove over in this state, she would not be very pleased. Even though Pam always thought he was cute when he got drunk. Because when he was drunk, he was happy. And when he was happy, he smiled. And when he smiled, his dimples showed. Pam loved his dimples. “And Pam loved me, once...” he mouthed to himself, the words barely able to escape from his lips.
Roy slowly rounded the corner, parking on the street, making sure his truck wasn't visible from her apartment. Before shutting the truck off, he took a quick glance at the clock. 1:04.
“10:40, great, perfect timing,” he self assuredly said to himself as he shut the truck off and climbed out. He walked hurriedly, realizing he was only wearing a gray undershirt and he could most definitely see his breath. He ran up the steps, hoping to catch Pam in a good mood.
He rapped on the door, first gently, and after a few minutes of no response, a little louder.
The door swung open, revealing a Pam clad in purple pajamas “Oh my god, Roy, what are you doing here at this time of night? Is something wrong?” She said, rubbing her eyes.
“What do you mean, you were asleep? It's only eleven o'clock, silly,” he managed to slur without sounding too drunk. at least so he hoped.
“Uh, no, its one-thirty in the morning. I was asleep.” Pam crossed her arms as she spoke quietly.
“Pam, I know for a fact that it didn't take me two and a half hours to walk from my...” Roy quickly corrected himself, “to get here.”
Pam looked into Roy's bloodshot eyes, “Roy, are you drunk? How did you get here?” Pam said, quickly becoming exasperated now.
Roy was quick to retort, “I wal... took a cab. Listen, babe, it's kind of cold out here? You mind if I come in?”
Pam quickly leaned out the front door, looking up and down the street, as if to verify that he didn't, in fact, drive completely intoxicated. Not seeing his truck, she breathed a little sigh of relief. “Fine. But only for a minute while you wait for another cab to bring you back.” She mumbled, rubbing her forehead as she backed up into the apartment.
Roy walked in, not bothering to wipe the snow and slush off his boots.
“Damnit, Roy! You're tracking that everywhere, Stop! No, Stop moving!” Pam yelled, surprised at the intensity of her voice.
It took him a minute to realize that she was complaining about nothing. The water would dry. But just to humor her, he stood in front of the door on the mat. “Better?” he cocked his head and asked.
Pam crossed her arms again, and stared Roy right in the eyes. “Sure. Fine. Whatever. Listen, this is a bad idea for you to have come here, especially without calling and especially at this time of night. I think you'd better go,” Pam said pointedly.
Roy looked stunned. “Babe, what? I just got here. I thought you'd be happy to see me. I mean, you know, I figured in this big new apartment of yours, maybe you would have gotten lonely and started to miss...”
Pam quickly interjected, “Listen, Roy. You need to leave, I never invited you here, and under different circumstances, maybe I would have. But it's the middle of the night, you're drunk, and you're unwelcome”
He immediately looked hurt. Memories of the night she told him they were through flashed through his mind. He felt like he'd never have the opportunity to set things right. “Pam, just tell me why you left me. Tell me that right now and I'll leave you alone...” he quickly blurted out, “For tonight,” he added, satisfied with his addition of that detail.
“Roy, I... I can't,” was her only rebuttal. The irony of those words were evident to her.
“What the fuck kind of response is that? I gave you everything I could for nine years, and then you just throw it all in my face with no reason? And even after that, I've lost weight, I stopped drinking, I've really cleaned up my act and you pretend to not even notice. Do you know how much that hurts? Tell me something, tell me honestly, did you cheat on me? Did you cheat on me with that fucking Halpert? I always knew that you and him were more than just office friends, more than that, but Pam, I thought you fucking had integrity,” he yelled, quickly getting desperate now.
Pam also noticed the difference in Roy's response to those same words. But she was getting nervous now. How could he show up this time of night, and just start accusing her of being unfaithful. She started playing with her necklace. Ordinarily she would back down at this point in a fight with Roy, scared of what he was capable of when he was this drunk. But this was Fancy New Beesley. She mustered up whatever courage she could, standing her ground in her only kitchen. She dropped her hand from her necklace to her side, and looked Roy straight in the eye. She said plainly and calmly, “No. I did not cheat on you. You need to leave now. I won't put up with this... this intrusion into my home.”
“But baby,” he started to say
She grabbed the handle of the door and threw it open. “Get out! Now!” she screamed, pushing him out with her free hand.
With that, Roy turned to look at her, to catch one last glimpse of her before she slammed the door in his face. Right before he felt the wind of the door slamming shut on his face, he got a good look at her. She had tears in her eyes. He slowly walked down the stairs and out into the street, defeated. He turned around the corner, now within sight of his truck. “How could I screw this up so badly?” he thought to himself.
Pam leaned up against the refrigerator, burying her face in her hands. She tried desperately to stop the tears, telling herself that Roy was drunk and that he didn't mean what he said. But the part that hurt the most was, maybe he was right. Maybe she did cheat on him on Casino Night. Sure, Jim had done all the confessing and initiated the kiss, but when all way said and done, she kissed him back. She put her hands in his hair and held him tight to her. For those brief moments, she kissed him unabashedly and with passion. As she started to sob even more violently, she sank down to sit against the fridge, wishing he was there again to comfort her, to feel his hands around her waist, to feel his hair in her fingers.
Author's Chapter Notes:
My first fanfic. Comments would be appreciated because I am unsure if this is even any good. Anyway, I don't own NBC or the office, but I DO own Coors. Kidding.
