Sadly, I am not an author of any persuasion (unless writing program descriptions and email correspondence to program participants counts as fiction -- which, I suppose, some days it does) but I am an avid reader and a huge fan of "The Office." I'll admit, I was such a huge fan of the original UK version that I procrastinated about watching the US version for far too long. Thanks to my BFF Kate (who is a writer, and a darn fine one IMHO) that has been rectified and I'm now a true blue fan, one who is desperately in love with the fictional character of Jim Halpert. I am equally smitten with the Jim/Pam pairing so finding this veritable fountain of JAM fanfic is just marvelous! 
A patchwork quilt story of Pam and Jim, S3 and onwards, told in ones and twos.
No spoilers, unless you haven't watched a second of the third season.
10 WOW. This is just...in so many ways it is completely unlike anything else I've read in JAM fanfic and I....love it. Love it to absolute DISTRACTION. And although there are a zillion lines and moments that are just brilliant in their simplicity or complexity or emotional punch, what I love best is that it took the culmination of the entire story to really, truly understand the importance of that number 2. it makes him feel like he's made up of her: like he is who she is. Just staggering!
These are couple of my other favorite lines/moments:
It used to unsettle her than she knows and notices these things - now she thinks it follows after the sky is blue and the grass is green. How gorgeous is that? That something (really knowing Jim) that she once worried about is now as basic and natural as breathing.
Their very first one involves getting Dwight Schrute to yell for the Pedo file across the office [in the presence of both Jan and an important client] BWAAHAAAHAAAAHAA!!! That is absolutely right up there in the pantheon of Great Pranks by Halpert and Beesley. Genius!
Their second guiltless, completely sober kiss is soft and quiet and full of promise; i'll never break your heart [again]. SIGH. *sniff* Just lovely.
And most of all I love that you've so beautifully captured that with Jim and Pam, the second time around is even better than the first. Who knew (except for you) that two was their magic number?
I'm just heaping so much cosmic love on this right now. SO MUCH. Going right into the favorites....
She's broken the ice the silence and
She waits.
[An attempt at a slightly different writing style. / Spoilers up to the latest episode.]
9 Hmmmm. Well, I'm kind of torn on the format to be honest. Like you I'm not crazy about a lack of punctuation (as it goes against pretty much everything I believe in) but that in itself doesn't bother me so much here. I can't put my finger on what I don't love about it...but I'm going to think on it a little. However, I can tell you exactly what I do love about it though.
I love that you can read the entire story without the italicized parts and it works and reads cleanly and is good on it's own. I like that the italicized parts are there kind of subverting the conscious thoughts running through Pam's head, underscoring or contradicting and sometimes even mocking what she thinks she means to say. Does that make any sense at all or am I just rambling here? I guess what I'm getting at is that I liked that you were adventurous enough to try something kind of risky like this -- and that, in it's own way, the structure of the piece is almost like art in the way things are juxtaposed (and are often contradictory) to make their point and for the greatest effect, rather than having them flow into one another the way a well-told story usually does.
And I have to admit -- I'd be interested to read the "He" counterpart to this, particularly if you were going to address the very same moments. I always love feeling like you get both sides of the coin, knowing that the real truth lies somewhere between the two. What do you think?
8 Adorable -- the closing line totally makes it. I'm not generally a fan of drabbles (I like a little -- or a lot -- of meat on my stories :-D) but I liked the way you captured Pam's panic and urgency in a few words. Nice!
MEMBER'S CHOICE - It's Michael's Birthday. Pam remembers. It's a whole lot different than it was just a year ago.10 I can't believe I never read this before today. CAN NOT BELIEVE IT. Because it killed me. Absolutely, positively slayed me right here at my desk on a random Thursday evening.
I can imagine that you teared up while writing it because it made me cry reading it -- and I already know they end up together! But you made that awkward, uncomfortable, SAD time where Jim and Pam had stopped being JimandPam so clear and tangible that it was almost like being back in that dark, dark time again. SIGH.
I think this part was where I lost it:
It's Michael's birthday and though we're only in the conference room, I keep imagining the way it was last year. I keep waiting for you to come skating by and take my hand and pull me away from where I'm standing, pressed up against the wall.
It's a year later but I feel like I'm back where I started. I'm still clutching the edge, watching someone else spin and twirl in the center of the ice. I keep trying to let go but it's so hard.
So much harder than I ever imagined.
Fabulous. Just wonderfully touching and sweet and sad and wistful and sad....and I loved every word of it. Amazing!
Author's Response: Selucia - thanks so much for your thoughtful review. When I wrote this I was so sad. I felt like Pam must have felt going into work every day - unsure if Jim would ever forgive her - wondering how she could start to fix things. I'm very glad to know that all came through for you.
9 OK, I should preface this by saying I've been an uncharacteristically bad reader because I've failed to review this story (which I found around Chapter 9) through the last couple of updates -- but no more! I'm here to give praise where praise is due because MAN I just love this story and YOU deserve much love for writing it.
First of all, the idea is completely unique and for something so off the wall, brilliantly executed. So many moments between AngelPam and DevilPam have had me snorting and shaking with laughter, I can't begin to list them all. I love the idea of the physical manifestation of the intangible (albeit ever so tumultuous) tug of war that surely was going on inside of Pam through most of the latter part of Season 3. You've done an amazing job of using these icons to really play out the entire scope of Pam's emotions, showing both her insecurities and her strengths.
In addition, I also have to give you mad props for the evolution of Jim and Pam's relationship in this story because I think most of us would like to believe that once Pam ditched Roy it would be twittering birds and pink floaty hearts of love and happily ever after for Pam and Jim -- " She imagined that their feelings and consideration for one another would scrub clean her past into a tabla rasa, and that they would be happy." (EXACTLY!). But in reality, as much as they might want it to be that simple and smooth a transition, surely they both have some issues and anger and insecurities that need airing and addressing. You've done a great job of teasing those out and letting Jim and Pam work through them in a way that is both touching and realistic without getting overly angsty.
My two favorite moments in this chapter were:
“Okay, Angel….but we want Jim too…and you don’t see me popping up on top of a little version of him, do you?” Devil paused thoughtfully and then giggled to herself. “Actually…” Because HA! and simultaneously YUMMMM. :-p
Angel looked wide-eyed at Devil, and then up to Pam, whose eyes were locked onto Jim’s. She sighed, and then pulled at the sleeve of her hoodie. In a voice that was barely audible, she mumbled….
“I’m so screwed.” Which, HA! (again) and also HEH (which, since you can't hear me, is said oh-so-very lecherously because for Pam's sake -- not to mention the sake of your readers -- I certainly hope so.)
One final thing before I stop rambling: I also wanted to just hug you for adding all of those links at the end of the chapters showing the park and the tree house and the museum and the exhibits because it is such a lovely touch and it really adds that extra level of dimension to your story because it makes those images that much clearer when you read.
All in all an amazing and creative story -- I hope you are inspired to write another 10,000 word opus of a chapter in the next couple of weeks! I can't wait. :-)
Jim/Pam - The Job onwards. Going through the motions. 10 Um, that's a no brainer: Totally going in my favorites.
So this was the first piece from your "back catalog" here at MTT that I tackled (mainly because it was at the top of the list -- sensible, no?) and I just adore it. Like seriously adore it because it is so full of these beautiful lines and phrases that I don't even know where to begin.
Ok, I do, but you know what I mean.
He asks, and she smiles, again, and he can feel it to his toes, his knees, his ears; and he hasn't seen her smile like that in a long time - or it's not just in a long time, it's never, and it hurts and heals to know that it may just be because it's him. Ummmmm, so, YEAH. This made tears literally spring to my eyes. Maybe it was because I wasn't expecting it or maybe it's just because it's freaking amazing. I don't even think I know how to articulate for you what it is about these lines that I love so much because I kind of feel like if I dissected it into individual beats or words it would lose all of its power. Just...GAH.
Something is released, and there's less between them; scabs peel for new skin, new hope, and they can breathe now, finally. I love the idea that when the scars heal and the scabs peel away, it's hope you find buried beneath the pain and the damage. Lovely.
Maybe he loved her then because of who she is now, which...means something. It's really wonderful how this sentence doesn't make sense...except for the way that it so completely does and you can feel what it means even if you can't properly articulate it. You know?
Um, and I'd kind of like to quote that entire section about how Pam likes that Jim is tall and Jim likes that Pam is colorful because it is just beautiful. Beautiful and silly and sweet all at the same time. Not to mention the entire section of their outing at a dressy-dress-and-fancy-suit restaurant because even though they may not be in sync with the rest of the world, I love that they are always in sync with their own rhythm, with one another.
So, yeah, this is absolutely going into my favorites. And you just need to embrace the fact that you are a pretty amazing writer and your stuff is way better than "not dreadful" -- it's really more like "entirely brilliant". So there.
OH! And props for the John Mayer nod. Room For Squares was pretty much the soundtrack for my quarterlife crisis when it came out. LOVE that man.
[PS -- Deleted and reposted to add the John Mayer thing (which I forgot the first time around) and to remove the plethora of "kind of"s I managed to use here. I pretty much wanted to smack myself when I read the first version after posting so I thought I'd spare you (and everyone else) from that horror.]
Just a short little blurb about Pam's emotions now that we've seen Fun Run.
10 That was so poignant and simple and just so damn good that it brought me to tears. You are SO gifted my friend. SO GIFTED.
What it's really like this year at Dunder Mifflin.
10 Still catching up on your back catalog and found this little gem -- I shall never hear the word shenanigans again without having very naughty thoughts of naked!Jim on the sofa in the ladies room pop into my head. I suppose there are worse things, right? :-p
Loved every word of this fluffy, steamy fic with so many wonderful moments of Pam and Jim just swimming around in their delight at finally being together, finally having the right to touch one another, tease one another, love one another. SIGH!
And Kevin's "Yessss." was the PERFECT bookend for this piece. It totally cracked me up!
You are so money and you don't even know it. Except you do.
Pam spends Christmas with the Halperts. (A first Christmas fic)10 Just going through your back catalog and found this jem of a story and it is just perfect. An absolute slice of Christmas perfection with JAM and sugar on top. I love, love, LOVE this story and hold it close to my fangirl heart -- going right into the favorites!!!
Two days after the Booze Cruise...what might've happened if Jim had confessed sooner.10 Hey...hey! Where are you going? Come back here with Chapter 11! You can't just abandon us like this!...OK, you totally CAN, but GAH! The agony. The delicious, delicious agony!
Oh, and GO Pam, go Pam, go go go Pam! Glad you finally pulled your spine out of the storage closet, dusted it off, and slapped it back into place before having a long-overdue reunion with your self esteem! Later for YOU Roy. Woo hoo!!!
Author's Response:
I swear, your reviews totally crack me up. :o) If it's any consolation, the husband got back night before last; we've got a slew of rented movies to watch (among them "Dan In Real Life" -- can't wait). I spent all day working on (and pathetically, sadly engrossed in) this fic, and actually had a hard time pulling myself away to go out to dinner. (Seriously -- how sad is that??? I am sooo this story's bitch.)
Anyway, we'd decided before dinner that we'd "do our own thing" (read: me writing like a fiend, him reading & surfing the web), but on the way home, he suddenly said, "Hey, so what if we watch a movie when we get home, since it's so early....?"
Cut to me all wild-eyed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL. Thank god he's understanding. :oD
I laughed out loud at your sustained metaphor for Pam's long lost self esteem -- so true. :o)
Thanks for reviewing (and for suffering through my pointless ramble). :o)
10 Buckle in kids -- I'm several chapters behind in reviewing so this could be a long ride.
First off, I have to commend you again at your amazing ability to skillfully blend the tender with the funny with the sexy with the absurd. You manage the perfect balance of all of those elements that made us all fall in love with Jim and Pam in the first place. And second, you put Jim in both torturously tight and hot black AND white tees in back to back chapters. So major props for that creative choice because I'm taking those mental images with me to bed tonight. :-)
On to my favorites!
There's more she wants to say, but it's as if words have suddenly lost their value, and all that really has worth is giving in completely when his lips cover her own.
GUH. These are the moments where you just gut your readers with your amazing prose. Wordless communication has long been one of my favorite things about Jim and Pam so it was wonderful to see it carried beyond the boundaries of their playful banter and into this part of their relationship.
Their laughter slowly dies as he helps her with the sleeves, and all the while she's consciously aware that these are the final seconds of who they used to be -- who they've been forcing themselves to be: just friends, purely platonic.
Wow...just WOW. I loved witnessing the moment where Pam paused to recognize that THIS (not necessarily calling off her wedding) was the moment that her life REALLY changed, really began to evolve into what she'd always dreamed it could be.
She falters, because his eyes are so green, and his scent is home; because she can feel him hard against her thigh, and it's difficult to hide from the fact that this moment stretches beyond all she's ever wanted.
How do you make something so hot while simultaneously making my eyes sting with happy tears? *sigh!*
…she's pretty damn sure that if he doesn't leave her apartment in the next hour, she'll have to just give in and jump him.
Pam, take it from me girl -- giving in will NEVER feel so good. Or so right. I mean, I'm all for taking it slow but I think even Emily Post would agree that three years is freaking slow enough. ;-)
And it only solidified the fact that yeah, she's definitely the woman of his freaking dreams.
And even though we've all contemplated this very fact a zillion times, seeing it in print always makes me squee like the little fangirl I am at heart.
"Wow." He pretends to be indignant as he informs her sternly, "Need I remind you that I am not a cow, nor is my milk free...?"
She smiles archly at him, her left eyebrow slowly lifting. "Really...? Couldn't I get a discount or something?"
And this may be the single funniest exchange between Jim and Pam ever written in the fandom. Seriously -- not exaggerating here. It just made me laugh so hard I had to read it out loud to my friends. A good laugh was enjoyed by all, I assure you.
But there's something about the way Jim looks at her that makes her feel almost like a sorceress or something -- as if she possesses the power to bewitch him, enchant him...drive him out of his mind.
It's a new sensation, but it's an addictive one.
You work it girl! But seriously -- this harkens back to some of the earlier chapters where we could see Pam finally realizing her own power and strength as a woman. So getting to see this moment where she's really growing comfortable with this side of herself is really charming and heartwarming. Seriously.
SO.
All that having been said, I will leave you with this: when "Nearing the Edge" finally draws to a close, there will be a veritable sea of readers mourning the end (while simultaneously celebrating your awesomeness).
Author's Response:
When I saw the sheer length of your review (uh, TWSS...? Would she say that?), I was floored and so excited to read what you had to say!
You are most certainly welcome for my wardrobe choices for Jim (though you should really thank JK for the tight white shirt, and Men's Health for the tight black one, LOL).
Your comments re: my prose just made my night, seriously. I'm glad you feel that way, and I'm also happy to hear that the scene made you emotional. (That was a very odd sentence, no?) While I have no problem with smut for smut's sake (it has its place), in longer stories like this one, I always try to capture the emotion that would surely be there in those moments. Lately I've been trying to resist my tendency toward falling into melodrama (totally guilty of that), which is where all the banter in this chapter came from. :o)
And yay! that you really enjoyed the cow/milk exchange! I have always found that particular saying to be totally offensive, both to women and men (hate hate hate hate gender stereotypes!), and it was too much fun having Jim & Pam mock it shamelessly. Even though we'll likely never see it on the show, I've always envisioned Jim teasing Pam in that way -- i.e. accusing her of only being after one thing. I don't know why I think that, but I could just imagine it....
As far as Pam growing into herself, I've always thought that it would have to have been nothing short of a revelation for her to go from dating a guy like Roy (who epitomized the concept of taking someone for granted) to a guy like Jim (who represents the most idealized figure -- a guy who loves and appreciates every single thing).
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write such a detailed review -- seriously, I really appreciate it. :o)
10 First of all, Jim's dream was BEYOND HOT. Like I'm seriously over here dialing up my ceiling fan because that was SO freaking steamy. But you know what? It was also kind of sweet and reverent which is, of course, the killer combo that Jim brings to the table. Some of my favorite moments:
But he's seen that kind of fear before, knows it's not really fear at all so much as it's a kind of protracted anticipation -- in the same way that sometimes pain is really just an ache that's quick to alchemize into pleasure. That was just brilliantly and beautifully articulated. WOW.
It's a familiar smell; it's woven the fabric of his desire for years now. See? Right there is the sweetness that delivers the killing blow.
…breathing into his mouth the promise of an alternate universe -- a place where they could just slide down slowly together, tumbling into the heat and the darkness and all the things they've pretended not to see for far too long now. a[io[bjuupahnewnhajsdk. Sorry -- that bit officially overloaded my circuits. Jay-sus!
…behind his eyes, his hand is her, and the steam surrounding him is just desire made tangible. GUH. And now I need a drink. With lots of ice.
...How the hell am I supposed to let him know that it's okay now? That I wanna -- that I can't stand this anymore? Two words Pammy: JUMP HIM. Dinner, schminner I say. Take a page out of the Barry White handbook and just get it on. What is that old saying? "Life's short - eat dessert first." Can't think of a better way to do that than to indulge in a little (or a lot) of Jim first and then perhaps share a grilled cheese sandwich in bed later.
Perhaps the best thing about this chapter on the whole though was the way you slowly ratcheted up the tension and the anticipation in a zillion little moments that made for a very compelling installment. Not to sound too sleazy, but you've definitely got us all primed for the main event (if you'll forgive the expression). ;-) Can't wait for Chapter 16!
PS -- EWWW on the transcripts. Just EWWWWW.
Author's Response:
You leave the best reviews -- always so detailed and thoughtful; I really appreciate it. And I'm cracking up at your whole "JUMP HIM" advice. I think we'd all do it if we had the chance, no? :o) And sorry about the transcripts -- I just felt compelled to share, as they left me sitting there sort of speechlessly horrified.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Aww, angsty yes, but not in a bad way -- I mean, I feel sorry like crazy for Pam and I'm sure this transition period will be hard for Jim too, but I don't feel bad for Roy at all. You know how the saying goes: "You've made your bed and now you've got to lie in it." Well Roy, here's your extra small twin with a topper made of rusty nails -- now DEAL.
I'm sorry, was that mean? :-p
I absolutely love how this story is evolving and I particularly love how you've incorporated Josh and Jon into the tale -- not just as support for Jim, but in the way they are both playing a huge role in Pam's evolution. My favorite moment of the story so far was Pam's revelation talking to Josh in the kitchen:
"...because the world he's giving her a glimpse of is so foreign to the one she's inhabited for close to ten years now that she can scarcely imagine it, even in the face of empirical evidence that it actually does exist."
How lovely is that? Just the idea that it isn't just Jim that is different than Roy but that being with Roy has somehow blinded her to the way the world can really be? That there are people out there who care more about other people's happiness then their own. What an eye opening moment for someone who has lived such a narrow existence that it never occurred to her to wonder if there was something more out there...
You are doing a brilliant job with this tale and I can't wait for the inevitable fluffy steam -- I must admit that it is one of the things I love best about your stories! :-)
Author's Response:
YOur beginning little diatribe against Roy just cracked me up. :o) (And no, it wasn't mean, given the way I've portrayed him as a ginormous oaf here.) So, so glad to hear you enjoy the incorporation of Jon & Josh -- it's always nice to hear that. I'm also glad you liked the bit in the kitchen, because it was one of those moments I had doubts about -- whether what I was trying to convey would successfully come across. And what I was trying to illustrate was the little bit of wonder Pam might be feeling at the realization of how much of a different world is out there waiting for her.
The fluffy steam is on its way very shortly, I promise!! Thanks so much for your thoughtful review!
10 Oh. My. God.
Is it too early in our relationship to say that I love you? 'Cause I totally do. Can't help it -- you are just that amazing. WOW. Seriously wow. This chapter just totally blew my mind and made me all gooshy and teary at the end. It was so perfect! I love that every little thing that Jim did, even when he was awkward, made it that much clearer to Pam that he is everything that Roy isn't. He's considerate and he actually cares more about her feelings and happiness than his own -- which, of course, is what love really means. Which, of course, Roy will never get in a zillion years. I kind of can't wait for her final confrontation with Roy when he realizes that she wasn't kidding and that wants more than he's ever going to be capable of giving her and that hello! Pam's found her spine and her dignity and she's not taking his shit anymore.
I also adored it that she had the guts to bring up the transfer and that she asked Jim to stay. A perfect little moment that really showed Jim that things were changing and that even if he wasn't getting exactly what he wanted just yet, that he was incredibly important to her. Just lovely!
This chapter was freaking brilliant and the only problem I can see now is that I'm desperate for an udpate. SIGH. :-)
Author's Response:
What? What do you expect me to say to that? Well, I...can't? Bwah! (Sorry -- couldn't help myself....) Your reviews, I must tell you, are so awesome -- love the way you comment on the specific things you liked; it's so much fun to read your thoughts. :o) I'm really glad you liked the contrast between Jim and Roy -- I've always said that I think Pam would have to be absolutely blown away by how different Jim is from Roy -- considerate, interested in what she's thinking/feeling, attentive, respectful.... :o)
Thank you so much, as always, for your kind words!
10 Since I read 8 & 9 back to back, I was pretty much going to let my Ch. 9 review stand for both but after re-reading the fabulous steamy-ness of this chapter, I had to post something so that I could highlight this one insanely perfect moment you captured here:
"It's like she's been swimming underwater, holding her breath for far too long, and now she's suddenly breaking the surface, gasping for the kind of life he's breathing into her right now."
OH.MY.GOD. Just...wow. WOW. What I wouldn't give to make out with Jim Halpert in a car....GUH.
Author's Response:
You know, that's one of the lines that I added during the editing process, because I felt like I hadn't really articulated that the moment was about more than just physical attraction for Pam -- that it was like a revelation, you know?
And listen, honey...I think we ALL want to make out with Jim Halpert in a car. :o) I just try to live vicariously through my writing, heh.
Thanks for reviewing!
Before I get into the story I have to say -- you've got one wonderful hubby there! That is so sweet AND creative. :-)
As for the chapter? I'm dying here. You are a kind of evil genious with the way you captivate even as you torture with the deliciously delivered sadness and angst in this chapter. And yeah, I totally want to smack Pam upside the head. Mainly because I've been in the Roy-type relationship with that guy who just never gets it right, the one you are endlessly making excuses for hoping that one day you'll wake up and he'll be the guy you fell for. So now seeing anyone else stuck in that situation (even a fictional character!) makes me want to shake them and say "Get a clue! You only get one chance to get this right so don't screw it up!"
This part right here:
"...And somewhere deep, relegated to the part of her she didn't consciously acknowledge, was the faintest awareness that Jim was as much to blame for her tears -- if not more -- than Roy. Only it wasn't because of all the ways he failed to understand her, but rather, for all the ways that he so unfailingly did."
*SPLAT* It's official -- you've killed me dead. DEAD.
I think it is fair to say that I'm waiting on pins and needles for the next installment. Keep up the amazing work!
Author's Response:
Yeah, I have to say, I was totally blown away when he did that -- had absolutely no idea he'd made arrangements to adopt the dog and got them to hold him. And it was without question the best gift ever -- he's the sweetest, most affectionate little guy (the dog, not my husband, LOL), and he's just flourished in the past few years. (He was skittish when we first got him because of the history of abuse.) Anyway - I'm rambling. Sorry. :o)
It was great to hear you say that you've been in that Roy type relationship before and found this believable based on your experience -- I've been there myself, and while the guy wasn't quite as clueless as Roy, he absolutely did not "get" me at all. But I spent lots of time talking myself into believing that that didn't really matter. And I see a lot of that behavior in Pam, too -- almost as if she'd gotten sapped of spirit over the years with Roy, to the point at which she was so ready to let him shoot her down. (I'm thinking of "Boys & Girls" - Jim's challenging, "Roy said that?" and her defensive response.)
Anyway, thanks so much - I'm really enjoying your reviews!
ACK! GAH! W:LKH:AOSDIH! This story has temporarily shortcircuited my ability to think and type coherently. Dear Lord this is amazing!
I'm a fan of many of your stories, but this is the first time I've been able to review any of them. (I finally got off my keister and registered at the site today) I came across this on the recently updated page and read all seven chapters in one sitting. And what a reading it was! Incredible dialogue, beautiful insight into both Pam and Jim, and your creation of the Halpert siblings is just AMAZING. But perhaps my favorite thing is how cleverly you've woven so many key canon moments into this completely AU story -- the poker flirting, the quiet chat over old photos in Jim's bedroom, the sad but brilliant lines following Jim's declaration of love...it's all really spectacular.
Although I'm super stoked to hear that you've got new chappy's coming (and quick!) to save us all from the evil cliffhanger, I have to admit that the chapter immediately following the love reveal and kiss was my favorite (Ch. 5? I think?). You did an amazing job of getting inside of their heads and hearts. I particularly loved Jim's convo with Josh and Pam's convo with her mother -- both were absolutely note perfect and so painfully revealing. Just beautiful!
An amazing story -- can't wait for the next installment!!
Author's Response:
Woo hoo for a new reviewer! It always thrills me when someone says he/she registered to leave a review for the first time. :o) I'm also so glad to hear you say that you found the glimpses into their heads believable, because that's all I was concerned with doing -- exploring and then presenting a realistic depiction of what might've gone through their heads had Jim confessed sooner. So you like the canon bits? Yay! That's also something I wanted to do with this one -- allude to some of the moments we did see on the show, only in a different context.
Finally -- it was such a relief to hear you say that the long chapter with the conversations was your favorite, because I reallyl had been worried about it. It's difficult, I think, to maintain a reader's interest when there's no action going on (per se).
Thanks so much, again, for your thoughtful review! :O)
9 Oh my god -- I am so in love with this story, it's unreal. I just came across it trying to catch up on my JAM fanfic and am so enamoured with this there are just no words!
I love how you've spotlighted these moments -- some big and some small -- and perfectly distilled what makes Jim Halpert so loveable and why Jim and Pam are so MFEO. I also love that you are exploring that they are both only human, which a lot of fanfic just glosses over. I think this chapter in particular is so revealing. I think it makes a lot of sense that Pam would feel guilt over Roy's downward spiral but also that Jim would resent her need to help Roy born out of that guilt. VERY skillfully done!
What if Roy was lying when he said he'd never cheated on Pam? What if Pam was always a little less healthy than she let on? What if everything, everywhere, is only meant to fall apart?10 ...And now that I've broken my silence, I apparently lack the will to just keep my fingers from the keyboard until I get to the end.
As angry as I've been with Pam this whole time, I cannot tell you how much this chapter just broke my heart for her. And not because of the Jim thing -- although that was like a sharp stab with a dull spoon right through the heart(and don't get me wrong, I'm not judging Jim, but still) -- but because how terrible it must be to finally realize that you've been utterly complicit in your own victimization? And that as much as you wanted to be strong, you didn't know how to find your voice to demand what was owed to you, if not from the loyalty that years in a relationship should afford, but merely from the basic consideration one human being should show another?
I think you've done an amazing job of taking us through Pam's inner journey, to her empowerment, to that shining moment where she finally found her voice -- which is nothing small or simple. There is so much poetry in your writing that it almost defies description -- you are definitely up there in the pantheon of my absolute favorite fanfic authors.
And in case I forget to mention it by the time I get to the last chapter, of all the lines you've written in this story, my favorite is probably your first: "She had no raincoat and no real reason." Because how frakking brilliant is that as a metaphor for Pam's lack of defenses and her inability to be more than flotsam and jetsom in the stream of her own life where we find her when the story begins? It's too brilliant for words.
10 That was so lovely and so beautiful -- I don't think your fans could have asked for a better, sweeter more perfectly romantic conclusion. (And can I say, I totally knew Roy was a terrible and selfish lover. Thank god Pam's got a generous man with big hands and a big....heart to love her now. :-p)
There were so many lovely lines and beautiful moments in this that just made me ache -- I don't know if I could even point them all out without quoting the whole damn story. But I'm gonna try. This bit?
"He wasn’t sure if he was man and she was woman or if she had all of him and he was nothing. He moved inside of her and she sighed out and she moaned and his vocal cords felt motion but he was unsure which word he was uttering into her ear. Something love and something god and something yes forever looping through his mind until he was static and silence and she had the slickness of his sweat on her skin."
Sweet Jesus! What beautiful poetry there. Just magnificent! BRAVO!!!
10 As many of your other faithful readers have mentioned, you have got to stop apologizing at the end of your chapters because the only thing you might possibly have to apologize for is the fact that you are way more awesome than us. Or something like that. :-)
How hot was that elevator scene? I think my mouse started to melt there was so much heat going on there! Un-frakking-real. You had a plethora of great lines in this chapter that so perfectly, beautifully conveyed their need for one another -- just ... Guh. Here are my faves:
"She wasn’t sure she’d ever been kissed this soundly, ever had this much lust pumping through her veins, ever wanted to dress someone in her kisses the way that she did him." Oh how I loved that -- dress him in her kisses.
"His mouth owned her, all of a sudden." Damn. Just...DAMN. You've robbed me of my ability to be coherent. That one line has made my mind just wander into some dark and dirty places.... :-p
"...the way it was the same thing he had said to her when he’d asked her to go with him to the baseball game, this habit he had of saving her over and over again." And that's just lovely -- the idea that he saves her, just by inviting her to a ballgame or his uncle's cabin. J'adore!
I'm waiting with baited breath for the romance, cabins and candlelight b/c I know you won't disappoint!
GUH. Double GUH even. WOW -- who knew the breakroom could be such a sinful temptation? I LOVE the way you've written Pam's transformation because I firmly believe that knowing you were wanted so utterly, so completely by a man like Jim Halpert would be empowering beyond belief, particularly to a woman just rediscovering her feminine power. Beautiful! I can't WAIT for the payoff.
OH! And I've been meaning to give you a great big shout-out re: your pen name. I can only assume that it is a nod to the unbearably hot-'cause-I-go-intense-for-justice Elliot Stabler. Which? WORD. :-)
Can't wait for the next chapter!
10 Not that much??? Are you kidding me?!? In the context of this story, it was EVERYTHING. Well, clearly not everything, everything since -- you know -- there are more chapters and stuff. But I think you know what I'm getting at.
:-)
OK, so I was going to wait until I'd finished reading the whole thing to comment, but I just have to respond to your Ch. end note because I'm getting all freaking emotional about this story:
There's no kind of about it. I wanted to rip Pam a new one and was so proud of Jim for not letting it go and for telling her what she should already know -- that shat she's doing to Jim isn't fair, that she's an idiot for just going on with Roy like everything is fine and that if she had one ounce of sense she'd know that Jim wouldn't EVER do something like that to her because he actually loves HER. Gah!
Brilliant story. Just fucking brilliant and, well, more later.
GAH!!!
10 How lovely and fitting that Pam's mom is so proud of her for being strong and doing it with dignity. She absolutely should be, but that she expressed her pride is clearly exactly what Pam so desperately needed to hear to fill in those spaces inside herself where she'd felt only shame until so recently. Shame as a woman, which is something even Jim's love couldn't really touch in some ways. What a lovely, lovely touch that was!
And happy single Pam waiting for her Prince Charming just makes me smile. I can't help it!