Reviewer: lifeafterlife Signed
Date: May 31, 2008
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Jim Gets the Call
Love the idea! Once I saw "cloverfeild crossover" I flipped a switch. Far out. You really got the characters down well - specifically Michael, which is definitely diffifcult for some; Jim and Pam had flawless dialogue. I'd say the only thing to work on is sentence structure; while your characters are...in character, your writing seems a little quick and gives me a tough time visualizing the story. All in all, though, I'd say you've done a great job. I'm really excited! Cloverfeild was such a badass movie!
Author's Response: I thank you for your constructive criticism.\r\nWith sentence structure, see, I\'m a 16 year old JAM fan. Ha! I just got out of school and the english sentence structure fails me right now. haha. But yes, I will work on this in future chapters. I hope you keep reading to get the full effect of \'Officefield\' mania! :D\r\n\r\nThanks again.\r\n[p.s.: if you have any specific points that could help me, i\'m welcome to ideas!!]