1

Happy to see this arrive here - as I mentioned, I really think there's a lot to be mined from taking Angela seriously, and you're very effectively telling a story about what might have produced her particular brand of rigidity, judgment and cruelty while still maintaining a loveable streak.

A hard read, but very well written. And congrats on posting your first story here - welcome to MTT.

Author's Response: Well thank you for helping me get it here! I really appreciate all your assistance.

1

This is extremely difficult to read, in a way that I think suggests you're accomplishing your goals with it. You've set up well why Angela might be particularly vulnerable to this kind of abuse, especially from a figure in the church.

Author's Response: Thank you! I’m really trying to do this subject matter justice and, and I wanted the first two chapters to emphasize how lonely and starved for affection Angela is. 

1

Well, this one stings. A lot. Ow.

Very well constructed and also very Pam.

1

Okay, this is the sort of fluff you want to shoot directly into your veins.

There's just a lot I like about this - how well it illustrates the immediate connection Pam feels with Jim long before she's prepared to call it what it is, Jim absolutely recognizing how immediately smitten he is and needing to do *something* about it, Jim's clear motivation just to see her smile again, and of course the happy ending-ening of the deeply upsetting conclusion of Valentine's Day.

Also, the image of smol Pam just kind of hanging out with a chipmunk in her lap is too cute. If Jim wasn't already in love, that would have absolutely pushed him over the top. Jellybean has a lot to live up to.

And I absolutely adore the ending of this. Those last two lines are Dundie-worthy.

Author's Response:

SO I completely spaced on responding to these. Been busy with noms and other chapters and getting over what I hope is just a cold. 

Thanks again for reading this over early and still taking the time review. 

YOu know me and my fluff...and my little side stories.

I'm glad to have stuck the landing. From your lips to the Dundle-gods ears.

Thanks again. 

1

"When he’s asleep he looks a lot like the younger version of himself that she fell in love with." So much of this relationship is about nostalgia at this point, and I think you captured that pretty well. Also enjoyed her leaving him with milk and cereal, which may be about as much as he can handle.

I always enjoy a good Isabel presence in a story, and I love her as an agent of chaos here. (Seriously, though, Pam. You should, uh. Probably call Jim.)

1

Oooooof. I was afraid of that.

I think you did well showing Michael at his best and worst here, and how those moments can basically come right on top of each other. And you can also see how much Pam benefits from having the female friends she *clearly did not have in canon* (angry grumbling) at this juncture. Nice to see her being proactive at this juncture of the story...

"After all these years of watching each other from across the room she has full access to him and she's not going to waste it tonight." *Kevin voice* Nice

Author's Response: The Kevin voice made me laugh out loud. 😊

"Are you saying last night was... geriatric?" LOL.

*sigh* Jim's sudden closeness to NYC does feel like it would have opened up a lot of opportunities for Pam. *grumbles more*

Author's Response: Yes!!!

Sweet way to put a cap on this one. And I absolutely buy that domesticity and commitment are a turn on for Pam.

1

Okay, the sea serpent bit I feel like is new to me and is a fun detail. Not so fun (but terrific) details abound here, really. Pam noticing his fabric softener has changed, the noticeable lack of Beesly-ing.

Pam's desperation to find their old normal again is tough, and the use of Season 2 moments recast in a whole new awkward way is quite well done.

"Every day for lunch she eats defrosted chicken and fish from the wedding that never happened, and each bite is a grainy, chalky reminder of what she’d given up Jim for: something cold and bland and perfunctory." Oooof. Making this about what she lost with Jim instead of ROy is a whole new level of pain.

"Years of moments now haunt her daily, the knowledge that every time he’d gotten up from his desk to chat with her, he’d been in love with her. When he’d elbowed Roy in the face during that basketball game, he’d been in love with her. When he’d convinced Michael not to embarrass her for the third year running at the Dundies, he’d been in love with her. When he'd stood at the railing of that booze cruise ship gazing into her eyes as she waited for him to change her life, he’d been in love with her." OUCH.

Cheating here, but some really interesting seeds being planted in the Stamford section - justifications for the role of Mama Halpert, and I'm very eager for the XXXXX chapter to see the light now.

"Pam’s laugh is infrequent lately. He never had to try very hard before to hear it, and now it’s like trying to catch lightning in a bottle." OW. And this take on Jim as someone who even at this late moment is desperately waiting for Pam to do something adds a whole new agony to Season 3.

1

Ouch. The opening of this remains extremely painful.

"Pam immediately regrets having brought up Jim at all. Twice." Yep. You're not subtle, sister. And “in between boyfriends” being a Karen-ism is a nice touch. This is again a situation where I feel pretty bad for both of them - you can just sense Karen trying to bond and to find out more about Jim here.

Ugh. I remain deeply mad they cut the Pam won an art contest story, and this just makes the whole thing a worse loss. Let Pam have a win dammit!

"He isn’t here, that’s all she knows. He may as well be on the moon." OW.

"for the next several minutes it feels the same way it always did: their familiar back and forth, this dance they do, two-stepping around the very large elephant in the room." LOVE this metaphor.

"While she desperately wants him to, she knows it has to be her turn. But “Yeah, me too,” is all she says." ARGHHHHH.

I think you did well capturing how disastrous this call would have felt for a Jim who is determined to move on. Oh, and the discovery that *Pam* is his real addiction... damn. (I'm also pleased you found a way to make Pam's participation in this prank make a difference, as opposed to being just for the hell of it... on screen it's not totally clear why Jim *needed* a partner.)

Author's Response: I’m glad you picked up on Pam’s “job” in that prank. It never really confused me why he gave her the phone, what confused me was why they were so loud about it all in front of Karen 😆

This notion of Pam feeling worse due to the little hints of hope she's getting feels spot on. I'd imagine Jim of all people can probably relate well to it. If it weren't for that, maybe she (or he in earlier seasons) could just move on and start to heal. But it really tears the scab right off.

I continue to love this notion of Roy capturing her, intentionally or unintentionally, at vulnerable moments and her just kind of rolling with it. Feels important and fitting to their story. There's a good mix of genuine happiness and also glaring red flags that this relationship should not have survived high school graduation in your take on their history.

"But his attention makes her weak. Attention of any kind has always made her weak." OW. Oh, this Roy... like, he's clearly doing his best and his best is just... still not at all good.

"It’s more than drunk, it’s quite clearly disorderly." Too true. Ugh. Again. Roy showing a lot of signs of not taking Pam's no seriously here. And him taking her bailing him out of jail as a sign she's prepared for a come-on is too Roy for his own good. Him needing to be reminded that there was a long time for things to change between him asking her to marry him and her breaking it off is ALSO very Roy.

The transition between Pam and Jim's past POVs STINGS. And I think you did well capturing the devastation of Jim realizing that she's left Roy and STILL doesn't want him.

"It’s amazing what being fought for can do for one’s self-esteem." Yeppers. I think this is a good insight.

Oh, Delilah. She must just be clamping a hand over her mouth some days.

Yikes. The ending. Ow. OW.

Author's Response: Thanks as always for your review and your help. Writing Roy is more fun than I thought it would be, heh.

“Better or worse than last time?” HELENE. "I didn't mean it like that." YES YOU DID.

"Every single moment of that night is carved into her memory like an epitaph: her dearly departed chance with Jim Halpert. Rest in peace."

I think I've come around to the idea that it's kind of appropriate that Pam comes from a family of people who just... wouldn't follow up on the Casino Night call. As you know, I maintain the Beesly parent marriage is key to understanding Pam and Roy, and this is the choice of a mom who is maybe too used to not speaking up (or has her own expectations for what constitutes happiness). It's not exactly A+ mothering, but Helene's not exactly a 4.0 mother, is she, MICHAEL. And that vibe does hang over this whole conversation.

“One day he was getting a Coke out of the vending machine and it was the last one. It's so silly, but he just turned around and handed it to me without a second thought.” I love this detail and that this stuck with her.

“We change each other all the time, Pam... Love… real love, it sort of sits with you. Forever. You can’t just forget about it. It changes you, and I guess you just have to be careful not to lose yourself.” I LOVE THIS LINE.

Ah, Penny, you drama llama. You and Delilah might get along.

The note remains beautiful. And this scene with him holding it over the shredder is STRESSFUL, even knowing this is canon compliant. Good bit I think! Very symbolic of where Jim is in this journey. He's really trying, Karen... but he's not going to succeed.

“Yeah, and he’s clearly not meeting the dress code. Slob.” I'm sorry, Karen, but if you can't laugh at that, you and Jim are not meant to be Pam or no Pam. Same with this conversation about kids. The both of you need to start remembering what a red flag signals... and should maybe consider why it is you're just getting to this question now.