This is my favorite post-"Cocktails" piece. I like range of emotions. The sparse words and intense emotions are very sexy. I also like the contrast between the anger of the night before and the joviality and sweetness of the next day.

I like how much is said in this half-sentence:
but right now, for the first time in months, she’s glad the night is long.

10

I really like this. I like your Karen. She seems like a real person and not a caricature. It all seems very real. Jim as a real guy. Them as a real couple. Real sex. Real not -feeling -sexy -while -spitting -out -toothpaste.

I like the emotional atmosphere you created and sustained very well throughout the piece. I like the disconnect between Jim and Karen. It isn't a blaring "they are TOTALLY wrong for each other," but a disconnect that happens with all couples.

I keep reading the last bit, trying to figure out if the feeling of the "goodbye kiss" is all in Karen's head and wondering, if not, how and why Jim would have expressed that "goodbye" then. 

Well done. 

This is practically impossible to read without smiling. Seeing Jim's thoughts before the date is a lot of fun. I like the way you interspersed the manic-giddy thoughts (the italics) in the narrative. I like the small reference to NY with the packed bag and that you left it at that - those thoughts are for another time. Again, this is a lot of fun.

I read this based strictly on the title. It's part of my most favorite verse on that whole album.

This hurts to read in the best way. And I love this so much: She starts to think that she was settling with herself, not him, and that's why she was so unhappy.  She just got lost in the idea of him always knowing who she'd be, that she forgot how to make sense of herself.

Such perfect insight and great characterization.

I'm favorting this.

First off, this is quite the sexy piece and you are the queen of the cliffhanger chapter endings.

What I find most interesting here is the way you carried out the phone sex: not a lot of mentions of anatomy and not a lot of descriptions of particular actions. I like how you did this. You got around a lot those elements that would have been distracting. Jim and Pam saying particular porn-y words would have detracted from the characterizations. 

Not revealing what exactly what's going on on both ends of the phone call is an interesting device. It leaves more to the readers' imaginations and, again, gets around having to use particular terms that we just aren't used to Jim and Pam using. It also really highlights the banter between these two. It's what they do best. Also, you weren't kidding when you said you were going to show off the "new" Pam.

I think my favorite parts are in the middle chapters when Pam asks Jim some particularly revealing questions and he simply responds simply with a "yes." I don't know why - maybe it's the direct honesty without hiding behind the joking - but it's very sexy.