Talk to me, Tivo: The Dunder Mifflin employees suffer through the annual office awards ceremony, “The Dundies.”
Jaminess: 3 [3=Casino Night]
Jam Cam: It’s the most wonderful time of the year — the season two premiere of The Office and the annual Dundies!
Pam is not excited though about the awards, going as far as comparing them to a car wreck that you can’t look away from because your boss is making you. Although who wants to go along with a boss that calls you “Fat Halpert.” If that’s not bad enough, Pam gets stuck watching hours of footage from past years so she can wallow in past car wrecks as well as this year’s.
To lighten the mood, Pam gets catty with the girls. Someone wrote something about Michael on the bathroom wall [I bet it says “Call Michael for a good time, 867-5309.”] Dwight overhears the girls and threatens them with punishment — as if they ever take him seriously. He does at least take it seriously enough to try and break in and gets yelled at by Phyllis.
Pam’s back to watch the Dundies tapes including her award last year for longest engagement. Pre-recorded Roy seems to think it’s funny. Pre-recorded Pam and real-time Pam seem hurt by it. Seeing her look so depressed in the conference room, Jim takes it upon himself to confront Michael about the award and have him change it to make Pam feel better this year. Even better, he does it by insulting Michael’s joke writing by calling it lazy to use the same joke again. Pleads on his crush’s behalf and knows the best way to make his boss cave? Go Sweet Jim!
Ah, the Dundies! You down with it? Too bad Roy is pissed the company isn’t covering the tab and decides to leave with Darryl and Pam in tow. Pam is having none of that and breaks free, conveniently finding an open seat back inside at a table with Jim and his beer, which he doesn’t seem to be protecting very well. Uh oh, Pam is drinking like a determined lush. Jim may need to watch her.
Wait a minute, how did Jim or Pam not get sexiest in the office? Stupid temp.
What did I tell you about Pam? That girl is not only drinking like a fish, but keeps slurping every last little drop from the bottom. In fact, she’s letting the ice melt so she can drink it again. Second drink! It’s the idea of a lush, but it’s still an idea I will use the next time I go to Chili’s.
Some college boy-looking hecklers throw crap at Michael and put a bit of a damper on the whole event until Pam starts cheering for more. Maybe this drunken thing isn’t so bad if it means she can show some compassion to her usually inappropriate boss. Of course, she also hasn’t received her Longest Engagement Award for this year so things could change. The moment of truth arrives and Pam gets…the Whitest Sneakers Award! Pam bounds up to Michael all giddy and happy and Jim smiles at the fact that she’s happy. You did a good job, Jim. Pam thanks her Keds, her boss, and God. She feels God in this Chili’s tonight and the cute look on Jim’s face makes us all feel it. How could this get any better? After a peck on Michael’s cheek, she bounces back to her seat, which Jim has pulled out for her, and she…OMG! She kisses Jim! Yes, she’s drunk and yes, she probably wasn’t thinking when she did it, but she kissed Jim! There truly is a God in that Chili’s…until Jim goes back to sit down. He knows she’s drunk, he knows he loved kissing her, he knows she probably didn’t mean it like that, and he knows there are cameras watching. Somehow, his face shows every single one of those mixed emotions in one little shot. If you don’t know how you can feel elation, confusion, and heartbreak at the same time, just watch Jim.
However, in the end, Jim thinks it was a great year for the Dundies with Ping, bad songs and a drunk Pam, who keeps nodding her head at everything he says. What? Nothing, what? Thunk! Pam is down for the count, falling off her barstool in a drunken stupor. Despite that fact, she is still aware enough to know she doesn’t need Dwight giving her mouth-to-mouth with his shirt off. Frankly, no one needs something like that.
Poor documentary crew who had Pam get all up in their faces yelling “This is the best! Dundies! Ever! Woooo!” Apparently, Jim didn’t have very good control of her, which is also probably why she has been banned for life from Chili’s.
So in one day, Pam got drunk, kissed Jim, and wrote something bad about Michael on the bathroom wall. She tells Jim that she feels bad about it, but he lets her off the hook. Angela pulls up to drive Pam home, but Pam wants to ask Jim a question before she gets in. There’s an awkward pause and you can tell Pam is about to say something and Jim has his full attention on her. Then she quickly glances at the camera, realizing they are still there. Whatever she was going to ask gets unsaid and she instead just opts for a quick thanks. Jim smirks, points out it’s not a question, and get her loaded into Angela’s car. As they drive off, Jim gives a puppy dog look to the car, a little smile, a quick glance to the camera, and walks off with his head down and “Tiny Dancer” playing in the background. If only he could hold his tiny dancer closer.
The Others: Michael is hosting the Dundies once again this year. Too bad corporate took away his fun party money so everyone has to pay for their own food and drinks. But who cares? It’s off to Chili’s for the awards as well as Michael’s jokes. Michael’s really bad and occasionally offensive jokes. Oh, and songs that he has butchered by changing the words to fit his award show. Too bad the hecklers at the bar didn’t appreciate his humor and start throwing stuff at him, putting a damper on the night’s festivities until Pam perks everyone up. In the end, it was a good Dundies once again.
What have we learned today, kids: Sometimes, it’s all about the second drink. When you get drunk, your inhibitions are impaired and your true feelings tend to come to the surface. This could include kissing your “best friend” or almost saying something you shouldn’t if it weren’t for the cameras watching you.
– written by Jenny
Jim: So, you ready for the Dundies?
Pam: You know what they say about a car wreck — where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.
Michael [on tape]: The Dundie award for “Longest Engagement” goes to Pam Beesly. Pam, everybody! Whoooo! When is that girl going to get married? That’s what I have to say. Ah, Roy’s accepting.
Roy [on tape]: Yes!
Michael: Thank you, Roy. Are there any words you’d like to say, on Pam’s behalf?
Roy: We’ll see you next year.
Michael: Yeah, oh, hope not! Oh God!
[Pam looks depressed while watching video]
Michael: I’m not changing that. It’s the best one.
Jim: No, it’s hilarious, you’re right. I just think, um, “world’s longest engagement,” we’re all expecting it, you know?
Michael: That’s why it’s funny. Every year that Roy and Pam don’t get married, it gets funnier.
Jim: Well, I think if you use the same jokes, it just comes across as lazy.
Michael: Oh lazy?
Pam: …because that’s what happens every time!
Roy: He’s a jackass every year.
Roy: Come on, we’re going to Poor Richard’s.
Pam: No, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.
Roy: Pam. Go.
Pam: If you would have asked me that, then you would know.
Jim: Hey! How are you? I thought you left?
Pam: Oh no, I just�I decided to stay.
Pam: I’ll just get a ride home from Angela.
Michael: I’m going to call Jan Revinson-Gould.
Pam: Oh good, I’m just in time for Ping.
Jim: I think those might be empty.
Pam: No, no, because the ice melts and then it’s like “Second drink!”
Jim: Second drink?
Pam [to Stanley’s wife]: You guys going to finish that?
Michael: I think we all know what award Pam is going to be getting this year. It is the “Whitest Sneakers” award because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on! Get on down here! Pam Basely, ladies and gentlemen! Oh, here we go.
Pam: I have so many people to thank for this award! Ok, first off, my Kids because I couldn’t have done it without them. Thank you. Let’s give Michael a round of applause for M.C.-in tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight too. So finally, I want to thank God because God gave me this Dundie and I feel God in this Chili’s tonight. Wooooo!
Michael: Pam Beesly, ladies and gentleman. [Pam kisses Michael’s cheek] Oh, thank you.
Jim: Your chair.
[Pam kisses Jim]
Jim: What a great year for the Dundies. We got to see Ping and we learned of Michael’s true feelings for Ryan, which was touching, and we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs, which for me, has ruined them for life. [Jim looks over to a drunk Pam] What?
Jim: I don’t know, what?
[Pam laughs and falls off her stool] Jim: Oh my God, you are so drunk!
Dwight: It’s okay, I’m going to use my shirt.
Pam: Dwight, get off me!
Pam: Oh my God!
Pam: I just want to say, that this was the best Dundies ever! Woooooo!
Jim: Woah, whoa, careful, careful.
Pam: I feel bad about what I wrote on the bathroom wall.
Jim: No, you don’t. Oh, here she is. Careful, careful, whoa. Alright, easy. Almost there.
Pam: Hey, um�can I ask you a question?
[Pam realizes she’s on camera] Pam: Um…I just wanted to say thanks.
Jim: Not really a question. Ok, let’s get you home, you’re drunk. Alright.
Jim: Goodnight, have a good night. Thank you, Angela.
[Jim watches the car pull away as “Tiny Dancer” plays in the background]