Email Surveillance

Talk to me, Tivo: When Michael begins monitoring their emails, he manages to upset all of the employees.
Jaminess: 2 [3=Casino Night]

Jam Cam: Someone thought it would be a good idea to give Michael the power to spy on everyone’s email and their email-vitations. But who cares about that when Pam suspects something weird going on between Angela and Dwight? Ick. Of course, who does she turn to first to share her theory? Try the cute sales guy that she’s friends with. Dwight and Angela? Ick. Yuck. Blech. At least Pam and Jim are on the same page when it comes to someone else’s relationship. Too bad they’re not on the same page when it comes to their own.

Pam takes control of the scheming for today by going over on her own to try and get something out of Dwight about his possible “relationship” with Angela. Jim looks a little frustrated when she can’t accomplish her task. Jim and Pam work much better as a team.

Michael starts breaking in to people’s emails for the fun of it and realizes Jim did not send him an e-vitation to his barbecue tonight. Maybe Michael should ask the camera guy what’s going on since the camera guy seems to know all the secrets or, at least, the ones he shares with Pam. Did you see that, camera guy? Two Baby Ruths. Hey Pam, more attention to Jim, less attention to the camera guy. Well actually, I’m liking this camera guy thing.

Michael decides to use passive aggression and a Cup o’ Noodle to find out why he wasn’t cool enough to get an e-vitation. You know what Michael really misses about college? Parties. Oh ouch. The looks on Jim’s face is a look of realization that he is busted. Sooooo busted. But why would you invite your boss to partake in your drinking of imported beer and karaoke machine? Oh, and Jim’s roommate wants to meet Dwight. Jim’s roommate thinks Jim is making Dwight up. Jim assures us that Dwight is very real. On a fake TV show.

While Jim is trying to slyly dodge the boss, the camera guy is trying to slyly get Pam’s attention. Oh my God! She was right about Dwight and Angela — Dwight is eating Angela’s Baby Ruth. Pam, like the rest of the viewing audience, is squeeing for joy that we know the secret but repulsed at the same time. Dwangela? Ick. Yuck. Blech.

But while one secret is revealed, Jim is still trying to keep his party a secret from Michael, which now means he has to tell Dwight not to talk about it because it’s a surprise party for Michael! Just…without Michael. Dwight takes the bait hook, line, and sinker.

Jim tells Pam all about his stroke of genius. And oh, by the way, is Roy coming? Ya know, because Jim is just trying to figure out numbers for food and whether he’s going to cock blocked by Pam’s fiance at his own barbecue. Stuff like that.

Michael totally knows about the party but isn’t letting on. Jim totally knows about the party and thinks he knows what Michael is trying to get at but isn’t letting on. Awkward. Oh wait, everyone knows about the party but isn’t letting on. Super awkward.

Woah, what’s this? The camera crew showed up at the party? They must have been on the e-vitation list. This means we get to see where Jim lives — where he eats, where he sleeps, where he makes out with Pam…sorry, where he imagines making out with Pam. Oh, and we get to see where Jim hides his key to the front door. If Dwight can find it in the key rock, so can Pam — if she ever needs to.

Jim decides to give everyone the tour of the place starting in the room with those Christmas lights on the wall that are totally saying “I’m just out of college and not mature enough to know they are tacky interior decorations.” Nice job, Prop Guy! As the head up the stairs, the first question asked of Tour Guide Jim has nothing to do with the house — Ryan just wants the phone number for Jim’s ex-girlfriend and makes sure to ask within ear shot of the receptionist Jim lusts after. Awkward…or not?

Pam breaks off from the tour group to poke around Jim’s room, sit on Jim’s bed, and leaf through Jim’s high school yearbook. “Alright, yes, that’s not going to be awkward at all.” The sweater over shirt that sort of makes you look like you’re wearing a sailor uniform is indeed awkward, but in a cute way. Jim is lovingly look at Pam sitting on his bed when he gets uncomfortable enough about the whole thing that he has to look away from the camera.

Back downstairs, Pam hopes she’s not the only one that’s noticed what’s going on with Dwangela. Maybe she can get some confirmation from Phyllis�or not. Phyllis goes the obvious route and guesses correctly that the brighter sparks are between Pam and Jim. Too bad that’s not the answer Pam wanted. “We’re just friends.” Riiiiiight. That’s probably why, when Jim asks about Pam’s side project, she tries to nonchalantly admit that she was wrong about it.

Dwight’s male significant half shows up despite the fact that he didn’t officially receive an e-vitation. Suck. Michael is a karaoke fiend, which is a bad thing because he’s doing a duet by himself. It’s so bad that you just have to feel sorry for the guy and wish someone — anyone — would come to his rescue. Jim!!!!!!!! Jim and Michael probably weren’t the islands in the stream the song is talking about, but it makes Pam fell fuzzy and warm inside to see Jim come to their boss’s rescue, so the night ends up not being a complete loss.

The Others: Finally, two co-workers in the office are getting some lovin’ on, but it’s suspected to be Dwight and Angela. If it turns out to be true, it means Dwight has a full copy of Angela’s medical records somewhere. Oh, and he thinks there’s a lot of yeast infections in the county because it’s down the river from an old bread factory. Do with that information what you wish. Meanwhile, Michael snoops around the office e-mail system and finds out he wasn’t invited to Jim’s barbecue. After moping and dropping hints that he wanted to go, he ends up at his weekly improv class and kills everyone. Well, he doesn’t, Michael Scarn does. Ditched by office and improv, he chooses the less of the embarrassing evils and shows up uninvited to Jim’s party. Wait, why is the camera guy zooming in on random feet? Oh my God! Those are Dwangela’s shoes!!!!!

What have we learned today, kids: The obnoxious boss’s ego may bruise more easily than expected, the most unlikely romantic pairing of officemates may actually happen, and the cute sales guy may swallow his own pride to come to the aid of the least popular party guest. In other word, expect the unexpected — especially if the unexpected is wearing a dress pair of Birkenstocks.

– written by Jenny


Pam: Hey. Something just happened. Dwight just told Angela that she has to delete all of her sensitive e-mails immediately.
Jim: What?
Pam: I know. Do you they’re like?
Jim: No.
Pam: Right, no. Ugh! Ew ew ew ew…Maybe.

Pam: It’s like squishing a spider under a book. It’s going to be really gross, but I have to look and make sure that it’s really dead. So if you guys see anything…

Pam: Hey, Dwight? My friend is kind of into these two girls that he works with.
Dwight: Nice.
Pam: One is tall and brunette and the other is short and blond and perky and kind of judgmental. Who do you think he should choose?
Dwight: Does he have access to their medical records?

Pam: Hey, Angela. How’s it going?
Angela: It’s ok.
Pam: Listen, are you bringing anyone to Jim’s party tonight?
Angela: No, are we supposed to?
Pam: No. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think so.
[Pam starts putting money in the vending machine.] Angela: Excuse me.
Pam: Oh. [Angela buys a second candy bar while Pam looks at the camera and mouths “Two!”]

Kevin: Are you going to eat with us?
Michael: Of course. Hanging with my crew. Crew that I am one of. Hanging with my Cup o’ Noodles. This is a meal in a cup, right here. Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmm. You know what I really, really miss about college? The parties. Everybody would go, the athletes, the nerds, the professors.
Pam: The professors would go to the parties?
Michael: Yeah, they were the most fun. We always invited them.

Jim: It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal. I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax and, you know, have fun. And my roommate wants to meet everybody because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.

[The camera man runs up to get Pam’s attention] Pam: What? [The camera shows Dwight eating a Baby Ruth.] Oh, yes! Thank you.

Jim: So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael.
Pam: Really? That’s great.
Jim: I know.
Pam: Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.
Jim: Oh man. Oh, you know what? Speaking of which, I was just trying to get a handle on, you know, the numbers for food and stuff. So do you think Roy’s going to come or?
Pam: Oh no, he can’t make it.
Jim: Oh ok, cool.

Michael: Hey there.
Jim: Hey.
Michael: Almost quitting time.
Jim: Yup. It’s…4:00.
Michael: One more hour to take care of anything you forgot to do. Hey, you know, I don’t know if you have any plans tonight, but if you don’t, we could hang out.
Jim: Oh, um, I can’t.
Michael: You have plans?
Jim: Yeah, I do.
Michael: Yeah, I do too, I do too.
Jim: Oh you do?
Michael: Big plans. I do, yeah.
Jim: Because you just said you wanted to hang out.
Michael: Tonight, no I can’t do it tonight. Improv class. I have improv class. Hanging out with my improv buds.
Jim: Really?
Michael: Yeah.
Jim: Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Michael: Oh, it’s the best. It’s the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.
Jim: …Improv sounds great.
Michael: It is. Ok. Alright. What?
Jim: I think Stanley just coughed.

Jim: Quick announcement everybody, if I can get everybody’s attention. We do have wine in the kitchen and there is beer available on the porch and despite what you might think, it’s not all for Meredith and Kelly so please enjoy.
Dwight: Jim, you really think this is a good idea? [holds up a key and plastic rock] A hide-a-key rock?
Mark: Hey, you must be Dwight.
Dwight: You don’t work with us.
Jim: That’s because Mark’s my roommate.
Dwight: Oh.
Mark: Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.
Dwight: Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car for special occasions. Jim, come here. When is the guest of honor coming?
Jim: Oh. Uh, later-ish.
Dwight: He’s going to love it!
Jim: Great. I just wanted to let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised.
Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey! Just in time. Do you want to go on a group tour? We were just about to leave.
Pam: Definitely.
Jim: Well, the group tour is now leaving then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we’re going to be pointing out to you today. You will be able to see both bedrooms and if we’re lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom. Who knows? I have to remind you also that flash photography is prohibited and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to.
Ryan: Hey, is Katy coming?
Jim: Actually, I haven’t talked to her in a while.
Ryan: Oh. Is it cool if I call her?
Jim: We’ll talk about that later.

Pam [to camera]: Jim’s bedroom.
Jim: See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour.
Pam: This is your desk?
Jim: This is my desk.
Pam: Your home office?
Jim: Home office, this is it.
Pam: Yeah. You have to sit down so I can get the full effect.
Jim: Okay. Sure, will do.
Pam: Okay, wait. So that would make me…like right here.
[sits next to Jim’s bed] Jim: Yep, that feels about right.
Pam: And then Dwight would be like…
Jim: Um, you know what? Let’s just leave that image out of it. Because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam, happy thoughts.
Pam: Oh! Yearbook.
Jim: Yeah, you don’t have to…Alright, yes, that’s not going to be awkward at all.
Pam: Oh no!
Jim: Oh yeah.
Pam: You were so dorky!
Jim: Thank you.

Michael: Okay, this is a duet, so somebody else? Pam, you want to come up and sing this one? Need somebody else. Takers, please.
“Baby when I met you there was peace unknown”
“I tried to get you with a fine tooth comb, I was soft inside, there was something going on”
This is the part that goes to the girl.
[Michael starts singing in a falsetto.] “You do something to me that I can’t explain, Every beat of my heart, We’ve got something going on”
[Jim walks over next to Michael and starts to duet.] “Tender love is blind, It requires a dedication, All this love we feel needs no conversation, Divided together uh huh, Making love with each other uh huh.”
We’re making love!
“Islands in the stream, That is what we are, No one in between, How can we be wrong?, Sail away with me…”

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