A series of drabbles concerning the woeful love lifes of the Dunder-Mifflinites.
For a comedy show, everyone always seems so miserable, don't they?
Pam's mom remembers.When I first clicked on this, something screwed up when the page loaded and it said this:
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Challenges: Pam's Mom
Does anyone want to see the subject of the second line with the action of the first line? (Maybe Pam's dad?)
9 Why the hell has no one reviewed this? This is great!
And if Jan thinks it's bad now, wait till she sees the... you know...
9 This is why you're one of my favourites: the ability to make something so short say so much.
The Documentary Crew has been there a while now. Are they part of the story? Spoilers through "The Return".Bwahahahaha!
Author's Response: Hee, thanks!
Pam serves her two weeks notice, Angela storms out of the conference room in anger, Kelly’s considering another guy naked …and none of this is Michael’s fault!
9 Wow, this is all levels of uncomfortable (heee! Kelly!). I know of very, very few people who would even consider a chapter like this one - and they're all certifiably insane.
There's a good psychiatric hospital in my city, should I call ahead and make an appointment for you?
9 What? No one reads the KaPAM! here? They don't know what they're missing.
9 Makes me wonder what cab drivers think about this sort of thing...
Hell yeah, he'd want to know. Might distract him for a few hours (days, months...) though.
Author's Response: Ha! I'm not so sure about that...
"I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted." [Jack Kerouac].
A response to the 'Evening Coming' challenge.
Your Dwight was just awesome. Glad I didn't have to find an antonym for that.
Put some paragraph breaks in there, please!
What if you had to relive the worst day of your life, again and again?
Response to "Groundhog Day" challenge by nomadshan at TWOP.
Bill Murray would be proud.
This was so cute yet very creepy at the same time. And I too loved theline: Months of smoldering flirtation had exploded into an episode of passion at Jim Halpert’s house of all places.
Author's Response: I know! Angela must be horrified to have fond memories of Jim's place. I said it before and I'll say it again - Dwight and Angela creep people out because it's somewhat like thinking of your parents having sex. That is if your parents were weird and judgmental and really liked cats and beets. Thanks Alex!
Any amy fic with a mention of loins burning for the almighty Schrute is okay by me. As long as it's meant to be funny.
Jim thinks about things in the warehouse. Speculative spoilers for upcoming episode, "Ben Franklin" 3X14This killed me: Jim looks up and sees Candy now only in a hot-pink bra, which, thankfully, doesn't remind him of Pam at all. It horrifies him when he realizes it makes him think of Kelly.
I notice that this is the second time today that I've had to mention the same line that nqllisi did. I just thought I'd point that out even though I doubt anyone cares.
I'll throw garbage on you, but only because it's fun to throw garbage at people. I like Karen (actually, if I were Jim I'd be like "Pam who?") and this was a very honest interpretation of what she's going through that I think is sorely lacking in fandom, so thanks.
Typical slow days at the office with the Ladies of Dunder Mifflin.
10 Michael and Jan's phone conversation here just killed me. I mean, killed me dead. *Thump. Rats come after corpse*. Everyone needs a famous historical figure as a sidekick.
Author's Response:
Yeah, too bad Mozart's Friend, Butch Cassidy, was too busy to show.
I like the rats come after corpse because it suggests that although you are (technically) dead, you're still aware that small mammalian creatures, akin to BATS, are dragging your lifeless body away.
I can imagine a whole cemetary of corpses chatting. "So, Lester, I was lying in my coffin and I heard a scritch scritch sound and the first thing that popped into my head? It's gotta be those arthworms. But, nope. It was graverobbers. They stole my watch. Now I don't know what time it is."
Hmmm, yeah better end that before people start thinking I'm the weirdo.
10 This is the second chapter in a row where you've had me doubled over and incapacitated. Absolutely brilliant. Poor, poor Jim.
Author's Response:
Better incapacitated than decapitated.... words of wisdom from my MOM!
Meh. It's not like topless girl groups are far-fetched. I predict we'll have them by 2010. It's not as though talentless groups are far-fetched either. We've had those since... when did the New Kids On The Block form?
Author's Response: Mom! I've heard it a million times! I am SORRY I had that poster of the New Kids on the Block on my bedroom door, okay? It was supposed to be ironic! I swear! And topless girl groups? I predict 2008.
10 Smokers get so many perks at work. They get to stand outside and slowly kill themselves for up to 15 minutes of every hour. It's really unfair to those of us who aren't polluting their bodies.
Kevin reminding people of the Marlboro man was great - except that I think he's selling tires rather than cigarettes.
10 I would choose to be a bonobo chimp. They have sex ALL THE TIME.
Author's Response: Mom! You're scaring me now.
I had a really difficult time getting through this chapter because I was giggling too hard at gay Mose and his retarded date. And Kelly at the ending! It will take me several minutes to recover.
Author's Response:
The poor clueless Schrutes. How they can not realize that everyone thinks they are gay, I do not know.
Consider all of us reading this now as payback for chapter 29 not showing up yesterday.
I think we all need a little Meredith in our lives. That kind of entertainment is priceless.
That was really weird yesterday. I think they did something wonky when they were trying to fix that bigger bug that was causing the random text-code at the top of the page.
A little Meredith is fine. A lot of Meredith...whoo...that's another story. She scares me. At night, I worry about poor Andy. Meredith keeps giving him glances. Lingering glances. Brrrrr.... No wonder the poor guy is flipping out.
I think we can safely say that this fic will go down as one of the all-time classics of the fandom - with 'classic' interpretted very loosely to mean 'the shit that makes you giggle, cover your face and/or mouth with your hand even though you're by yourself, laugh like a lunatic, shake your head at the absurdity, pop your eyes out of your skull in surprise at every turn, and leave you eagerly anticipating more like a heroin addict craves another hit'.
I really need to find out what the hell Michael, Dwight and Jim are doing in the office. I have no clue (I have no clue about a lot of things, but this one is relevant here).