Date: March 09, 2007 07:36 am Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
that is a really cool site... i am having fun. i figured out how many days, minutes, seconds i have been alive. awesome. anyways, on to the story. cause i am pretty sure you don't want to hear my thoughts on the 677 million plus seconds i have been alive.
I really like the use of the time and roller coasters throughout this. it makes it seem longer, more important, slower, more desperate, more real. these two just break my heart
Author's Response:
Oh they break my heart too. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm glad you are having fun with the website. When I decided I wanted to use those references it was a godsend. :)
Thanks so much for the review!
9 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2007 07:11 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
Wonferful story. I love how Pam starts thinking of saying something...then decides she doesn't have to say everyting...so Pam.
Author's Response:
Thanks flamingos! Yep. That's Pam. She'll be brave - but in baby steps. Here's hoping this is how it end up on the show.
How much longer????
10 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2007 12:38 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
The other thing about rollercoasters? To ride the good ones you usually have to stand out in the hot sun for about two hours, be THIS tall to ride, and not too fat so you can fit behind the safety bars.
So this analogy fits PERFECTLY! ;-)
You know I think you are awesome, and these views into Pam's state of mind are, IMHO, dead on. Really.
Author's Response:
EXACTLY!!!
I think you're pretty swell yourself. ;) And thank you. That's exactly what I'm hoping for!
Date: March 07, 2007 05:05 am Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
Well, I've already told you (in big red letters!) how I feel about this...as usual, you've zeroed in on Pam's thoughts, and I know I've said it before, but I love how you let them be complicated and messy and unresolved. That her being ready to act isn't about becoming a perfectly together super-woman - she's still uncertain and scared and confused...ultimately, that makes her even braver in my book. Glad you decided to end it on that line...poetic and powerful (and it tells me just how she feels without explicitly stating it.) Well done, xoxox!
Author's Response:
Yes you did. :) She is complicated and messy and unresolved - as is this whole fiasco. I do believe in my heart of hearts this is how she feels or is what she's thinking. The alternative is too depressing to contemplate.
Thank you so much for all your help and guidance. This one - to put it oh so eloquently - kicked my ass. I need a nap - or a glass of wine.
Maybe both. ;)
Date: March 07, 2007 02:53 am Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
I love the analogy of the roller coaster. Beautiful chapter. I'm really enjoying your story.
Author's Response: Thanks StarryDreamer!! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Fingers crossed for a happy ending!!
Date: March 06, 2007 10:08 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
I like that you say that about roller coasters. It's so true. And you're terrified the whole time and you scream and laugh and you can't wait to get on again.
I'm so glad that you wrote more!!
Thanks.
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response:
Well - let me just say. If S3 is a roller coaster as far as Jim and Pam are concerned I want it stated for the record - it's one that I only intend to experience ONCE.
If this all ends the way I hope/pray/wish/demand (LOL) I have no desire to take another spin. :)
9 [Report This]Date: March 06, 2007 09:25 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
Stop being so awesome xoxoxo! Not really , of course! I've missed some beautiful xoxo Jam, and here it is. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response:
Aww. Thank you Crystalized.
The angst makes me so sad. I think that's why I had such trouble updating this story. I always need something happy to counterbalance. :)
Date: March 06, 2007 08:52 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
Nice detail on Pam's possible thoughts.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review Too Late Kev!! ps: Your name makes me giggle. Love it!
Date: March 06, 2007 08:38 pm Title: Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.
Wow. This is such a lovely chapter! Your descriptions and words -- you just -- got right into Pam's head. I am thoroughly impressed. And very pleased! Cannot wait to read more.
Author's Response: Wow. Exactly what I was trying to do. This chapter gave me fits - so I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear you say that. Thank you so much.
Date: March 06, 2007 08:23 pm Title: Love unspoken is the loudest sound of all
I'm loving this so far, especially the fact that you're telling Pam's story without using any dialogue. It's all internal and it's all so well-written. Can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks sharky! I started this because after that "Karen confronts Pam" episode (aka Ben Franklin) I had all this residual empathy for Pam and needed an outlet. I also don't want to do battle on the TWoP boards about how I feel about the character. Suffice it to say - I think she gets a really bad rap. I spent a lot of time post-Casino Night feeling sorry for Jim and now the tables have turned a bit. LOL! I can't wait to see what happens next either!!! I'm trying not to go AU so for this story - sorry to say it won't happen until we're back from hiatus. :(
Author's Response:
Date: March 02, 2007 10:36 am Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
It's a fine line, isn't it, between "never" and "never have to". Nice.
Pam's finally growing a pair. And it's good that she's slow and taking her time and doing things in her own way. Because trying to please everyone else clearly hasn't been working.
I really like that she knows her art is pedestrian and is just fine with that. Good detail.
Author's Response: It is - isn't it??
You've touched on everything I'm hoping to convey - so thank you for taking the time to let me know.
More to come soon. I know what I want to say - I'm having trouble typing it. LOL!
Date: February 20, 2007 08:21 pm Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
If she never says anything, she'll never know.
You're killing me, here! I hate that you're right, but love that you're able to express it so beautifully.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much ayla! At least we know (hope) that when Pam comes to her senses she'll have exhausted every other option so there'll be nothing standing in her way!
Well. Except maybe Karen. Grrrrrrrrr.
Thanks so much for the review.
Date: February 20, 2007 06:06 pm Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
Oh Pam...This is so much worse!!!!
I really am enjoying this fic..Keep it up...!!
Author's Response: It is!! Let's hope she realizes it too. :( Thanks for reading!
Date: February 20, 2007 03:33 pm Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
Hm. Yes, Pam's been courageous. Unfortunately, the one time she really needs that courage, it's gone. But courage like the one that she needs takes a long time to build up, so hopefully, she just needs some time.
I really do feel for Pam in all of this. I know what it's like to present your artwork, knowing that you're not showing much about yourself because your most personal and moving pieces are tucked away carefully in your mind (because the stuff that's really really personal is terrifying to even put on a canvas) or some dark forgotten corner of your life and still feeling hurt that no one likes it. It's a strange sort of disappointment with yourself that's kinda indescribable and just sad.
Thank you so much for writing this.
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response:
You are welcome Lex. I just have this need to figure her out and this is my version of what's going on in her mind. I'm pretty confident she'll make the right choices when all is said and done - just not as quickly as I might like.
And that's what pains me. :(
Thanks again for the review!
9 [Report This]Date: February 20, 2007 03:12 pm Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
Wow, the end of this chapter captures Pam perfectly! I really hope to get to read the rest of this soon!
Author's Response:
I'm so glad you thought so! I'll be writing more as soon as the next episode airs.
Stay tuned! :)
10 [Report This]Date: February 20, 2007 03:08 pm Title: Love unspoken is the loudest sound of all
This is amazing...!! Keep writing!!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much!
No worries! I'm not done yet. :)
Date: February 20, 2007 01:39 pm Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
You're killing me a little bit. But you know, go empowered Pam and let's hope she tries to find out!
Author's Response:
I'm counting on it. :)
Thanks Gen!
10 [Report This]Date: February 20, 2007 11:04 am Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
aiiiii! It really is this frustrating, isn't it?? I want you to know that I have studiously been avoiding angsty fanfic, but for you I made an exception!! Wonderful insight on Pam. Let's hope she makes the right choice, hmm?
Author's Response:
Aww Thanks Mox! I'm studiously trying not to write angsty fic - but I feel this need to explain Pam - to herself even. Hourglass is my own exception.
She will make the right choice. She HAS to,
And if she doesn't I'm going to make her. ;)
Date: February 20, 2007 11:02 am Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
I love this story. It is just ... painfully good. And I like the quotes. I think the first quote, the one about the hourglass... I just made it my away message because right now its just one thing on top of another for me (and why i am not dealing with that crap, but instead reading fanfic, I dunno). But, I never really thouht of that, she really does have courage. Even if it isn't really obvious in her art, she does. But, its Jim. Oh, so good.
Author's Response:
Thanks Emily! I think alot of Pam's done is incredibly courageous - but it's hidden by the fact that she won't open her mouth about the one thing she really wants.
So. Frustrating.
I'm so glad you are liking the story. Thank you so much for the review.
Date: February 20, 2007 10:54 am Title: I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream
Oh, my achey-breaky heart. I think this is very apt re: Pam's state of mind (though I am becoming cautiously hopeful again. Seriously!) Her thoughts on Roy are perfect and I like the reference to crayons...Pam needs to start coloring outside the lines, doesn't she? She will, I feel it coming.
Author's Response:
I'm in a zen-like state lately. It's weird. Not to say I've given up my rabid spoiler-whore habit. I'd give that up for Lent if I thought I'd stick to it (and if March wasn't going to be wrought with reruns). I just ache for both of them - being so stubborn and hurt and just paralyzed.
It's going to be so good when they finally move - which is why I'm so impatient.
Thanks, as always, for the review. :)
Date: February 20, 2007 10:40 am Title: Love unspoken is the loudest sound of all
I went back and read all the chapters. Chapter 3 is really good! I hope Chapter 4 is in the works!?
"Sometimes she thinks she likes it this way. This way the what ifs can stay in her mind and she doesn't have to hear what she dreads the most."
"If she never says anything, she'll never have to know."
"If she never says anything, she'll never know."
That really defines the comfort level with fear and uncertainty well. And I love the Van Gaugh quote.
Author's Response:
Thanks breadandjam! Chapter 4 will happen after Thursday. I'm trying to keep all my wants and needs and speculation out of this story. :)
Thanks so much for the review. I'm so glad you like it!
Date: February 11, 2007 08:30 am Title: Your first love is not always your truest love.
Wow. I was trying to pick out a favorite line but then you hit me with those last few perfect paragraphs that completely encapsulate just how deliberately Pam is backsliding. She knows it's wrong and isn't going to stop it anyway. Very realistic and I think a fantastic continuation of where we left off after that painful wedding episode.
Author's Response: Aww. Thanks belsum! I'm so glad you thought so. Here's hoping next weeks installment (of both the show and my story) ;) give us something to smile about.
8 [Report This]Date: February 10, 2007 04:58 pm Title: Your first love is not always your truest love.
At the end of the ep, I thought that if Pam did sleep w/ Roy, she might consider it moving ahead anyway, because she chose to dance w/ him, chose to leave w/ him. Add to that the difference in his behavior + body, and Pam could feel like she really was experiencing something new. That said, I love love love this line:
Even as she takes his hand and steps forward she can feel herself sliding backwards.
Author's Response: True. It's just the way she treated him up to that point that had me thinking that it was more reverting than going forward. That being said I consider any time Pam actually MOVES to be significant. Leaving w/Roy - no matter what that entails - was her making a decision. I don't think she gets enough credit for that. IMO, She spent 10 years in a passive state. This is almost like throwing caution to the wind for her.
WOW. CHATTY TODAY. :) Just wanted to add I am so glad you liked it!
8 [Report This]Date: February 10, 2007 04:43 pm Title: Love unspoken is the loudest sound of all
I like am trying to decide what to write, and considering something innocuous like the bridal shower - a very Pam coping mechanism.
I'd be really interested to know what would be on this day's page if Pam drew something instead of writing.
Author's Response:
That is true. I'm projecting alot onto Pam here - she's doing what I'd do.
RE: what she'd draw. Gosh - that would be cool to see. OH! Which reminds me - I wanted to tell you I've got that "standing on ice" phrase I mentioned in my Incubator review swirling in my brain - so you might see that soon. :)
9 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2007 08:10 pm Title: Your first love is not always your truest love.
I let out such a deep sigh at the end of this that it startled my dogs.
Okay, the quotes at the beginning - particularly those describing the sounds of various emotions - breathtaking, and such an apt prologue for this story.
I know you're being vague here because things are in a state of limbo (temporarily, of course - we all know Jim and Pam will end up together, right? RIGHT?), but I think it works that much better this way. Something in juxtaposing the pronouns lends a sort of haunting feel to this -- the ghost of Jim is hovering around her as she backslides with Roy, if that makes any sense.
So, so sad, but -- just like the episode (IMHO) -- so very real.
Looking forward to the next installment!
Author's Response:
I've been a quote finding fiend. :) I found a really good site so expect more as the story goes on.
My vagueness was more about what really transpires w/Roy and Pam. I don't doubt he makes a move but how far does she regress? Does she just kiss him and leave? I don't know if we'll ever get the full story so I didn't want to put that here. This story is about getting inside her head after each "episode" so I don't want to add too much. KWIM?
Thank you for your thoughtful review. I'm so glad it felt real to you. See you - next week. :)