Date: April 15, 2007 01:53 am Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
okay, I haven't finished reading the next two chapters, but HELL YES to Jim getting punched! Especially the Jim we were forced to see in The Negotiation. I mean, I love me some Jim, but not if he's being an ass. Even the visual makes me smile. Maybe Pam can go get him...ice, or...something...
heh, loved Dwight-Angela, as always. You are too good at getting their characters across. They're freaking nuts, but in a completely awesome way, and you get that perfectly. WOO. :D
Author's Response:
See! You should be writing this stuff! Because she does go get him some, well not ice, but some aspirin. Um. But I just realized she never does give it to him. But she does go to get him some!
Dwight-Angela, freaking nuts in a completely awesome way! My love for the Dwight-Angela romance is like as intense as a fight between a mongoose and a black pepper snake. You want to look away, but you can't look away. Seriously, those two should NOT get married. Imagine the traumatic childhood of any kids they might have! Yikes!
Date: April 14, 2007 11:08 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
Pam. Strike, Counter-strike, Counter-counter-strike. I think she won that battle. Maybe Jim and the men will win the ... next battle.
I love Oscar gamely playing along. I can just see the look on his face, too!
One nitpick - I'm not sure Pam would say "Dang it." I could be wrong.
But, couldn't you just let Karen walk away? Maybe she would have kept going and going. Like a more skanky Energizer bunny. Now, you've given Pam and Karen more reason to band together and bond.
It's Jim and Pam who are supposed to bond. No, not bondage, Muggins. Bonding. Over the condoms in Pam's purse and an agreement to not wear underwear.
Karen's bond? Crazy Glue!
Author's Response:
Well, the next battle is about to begin...so let's see who wins. Which prank will bring Dwight to his knees? It's anyone's guess at this point.
I'll take "Dang it" out. I had trouble with that line anyway. I cut 90% of the things she said because there was so much she wouldn't say because a) Karen was there, b) Jim was there, c) Phyllis was there, d) Kevin was there, and e) she assumed Dwight and Angela were there. I can see her saying "damn it" quietly if Phyllis and Angela aren't around.... but what would you suggest?
Skanky Energizer bunny is an image I do not want to think about. That reminds me of those muppets in that sex show...muppets should not have sex. Ever.
Shoot. No bondage? No Karen and Pam bonding? No underwear? Shoot. You are not going to like the next few chapters. I can guarantee that. Okay, I'll cut out the part I was going to write about Pam dying Jim to her bed and then forcing him not to wear underwear to work, but the Karen and Pam boding stuff? That's got to stay. I already had them walk out the door together!
Date: April 14, 2007 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
Way to go, Pam! Too funny.
Date: April 14, 2007 09:51 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
*gasp* OMG!! I love this story!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Let me know if the *gasp* turns into a "holy mother of myrtle, I'm gettin' palpitations here!" so I can call 9-1-1 and get you to safety. Or...I could send Dwight right over to give you CPR. Either way. Whatever works for you....
10 [Report This]Date: April 14, 2007 09:20 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head
So yeah, love this, as always!
As to my previous comment, there is a scene in the BBC version where the NotDwight character is doing safety training with a pretty new employee and it pretty much consists of him teaching her how to properly pick up a box without hurting her back. Very funny! So see, you and Ricky Gervais are on the same page!
Author's Response: Okay! I have to rent the BBC version because I am so intrigued! Is it a good or bad thing that Ricky Gervais and I are on the same wavelength? Does the NotDwight character just tell her or try to physically show her? Ohmigod! Imagine Dwight trying to physically show Pam how to lift a box by standing behind her and.... NO! My mind can not wrap itself around the concept. Dwight showing Kelly what to do if an attacker takes her from behind....yes! Pam? No!
Date: April 14, 2007 08:39 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
Ok, brain broken. It's official.
P.S. Pam is the queen of all that is cool!
Date: April 14, 2007 08:39 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
Karen stopped to look at the scene before her. Her boyfriend was standing in the middle of the room. He had a red swollen eye and was holding up a pair of flowered panties. She decided that there was no way she could deal with this situation in a calm manner. Without speaking, Karen picked up her purse and headed out of the office. Jim started to follow her, saying, “No, wait Karen, this looks…” but he was interrupted by Pam’s outburst.
“Jim! What are you doing with my underwear? I’ve been looking all over for them.”
Wow! Seriously sucks to be Karen. Muggins, you are amazing. I never can figure out where you are going with things. Still lovin' it, and can't wait for more!
Date: April 14, 2007 08:35 pm Title: Chapter 52 - The Secret about Toby and Pam (TAM)
YEAY! 11:32pm, and there is a new Girly Girl!
Insomnia is its own reward!
Date: April 14, 2007 11:49 am Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
YES! Make-over time! Can't wait for the next chapter.
Date: April 13, 2007 07:50 am Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
Haha. Guess what, I am not in school today either. Cause I am skipping. Because, I decided that going home and having fun was more important than chemistry. So, now I am sitting here, petting my doggy, instead of being at school and being bored. oh, and reading girly girl. but i do that both places, so all is good. :)
and then i was happy this morning cause i got THREE review replies, and so, I spent a good time just laughing. cause i enjoy them.
And totally steal typative. I am hoping to make it an official word. yesterday I was REALLY typative. I had a LOT of energy yesterday. case in point, i spent ten minutes bouncing, because standing still wasn't enough. So, today I am still typative, but not as much. Although you wouldn't know it from my review so far. (Haha, I realize that while scrolling past other reviews when trying to find replies that I have the oddest reviews because i say stuff like this before I even GET to the story).
ah my dog is climbing into my lap, and she is NOT a lap dog, and so, first off, she says gkjdhsg;laskjhf, and then she is making it difficult for me to type. Ah, she left. Good doggy. I love you, but not right now.
Anyways, I loved how Kelly was saying no guy likes a girl who rambles on... sure Kelly. Because, we all know you hold your tounge and listen to Ryan all the time.
My first experience with a condom... well, this sounds odd. But anyways, freshman year in college, we had a condom drawer. Because our RA was like, listen, I know you have sex, but seriously, be smart about it. So, we had a condom drawer. And, I knew what condoms WERE, I hadn't ever seen one. So, I took one and was like, oh. And then later that year they were passing out female condoms in front of the student union. that was another oh. And then they were passing them out last year for Safe Spring Break. And, I took one, and it was in a little necklace holder, and it had a sticker on the package and it said, "If you think I look hot now, wait til you see me in a condom" and I sent it to my (male) friend. And that is all my experiences with condoms. And so, The fact that Pam was researching them on the internet was just so funny.
Pam called him SWEETIE!
Remind me to never let Kelly get near me with make-up... it sounds awfully frightening.
(now i play with my doggy)
Author's Response: Wow! Talk about stream of conciousness writing there, EmilyHalpert! Can I say that you sound just like Kelly? Have you thought about writing a story from Kelly's point of view? For instance, I'd like to hear about what she's like at home with her sisters and her parents and her pet dog (I'm sure she's a dog person and not a cat person)...whether she has a lap dog, I can not decide. Thank you for telling me about all your interactions with condoms and I'm crossing my fingers that your PARENTS never read this. And your doggy sounds sweet!
Date: April 12, 2007 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
"Always let the guy do all the talking, okay?" Coming from Kelly, I think that's a classic case of "do as I say, not as I do".
You just know that "sweetie" and Jim repeating "sweetie" in his head are my absolutely favorite parts of this. Well, and condom research. You know, Pam should do "field work" in this area as well. I wonder if anyone would be willing to help. Anyone she could call "sweetie" during said field work. You know, just pick the nearest guy to her desk or something.
Author's Response: "field work"? What does that even mean? What are they, suddenly archeaologists?
"So Pam, note the ligamentation on this P. Humoridorean? Hey, quick question, what's your favorite type of condom for sex in a pit?"
See...I don't think that's going to go over well. I think people are going to be asking questions like - "What's a P. Humoridorean? What is ligamentation? Why are Pam and Jim's clothes still on?" and I just don't think I can answer those questions.
10 [Report This]Date: April 12, 2007 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
This just continues to be more hilarious all of the time! I can really see Kelly wanting to do a makeover on someone. Keep the chapters coming!
Author's Response: I'm hoping she can get her real wish and do a makeover on Pam. SexyPam!
Date: April 12, 2007 09:26 pm Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
LOL @ Kelly: "Karen? Girlfriend, can I give you a clue? No guy likes a girl who talks on and on about how she feels!!!"
8 [Report This]Date: April 12, 2007 07:59 pm Title: Chapter 51 - Pam's Purse of Prophylactics
Yeah! An answer to the Ryan underwear issue. He doesn't use any drawers, interesting.
Angela make-over! Fun!
More soon please.
Author's Response: Oh, you think that's the answer, but it's not the answer! Kelly's been prepping for that question for days!
Date: April 12, 2007 11:18 am Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
oh. my. GOD. that scene with jim and creed was perfect! “There ya go. Tell her you were trying to reason with me but I fight dirty.” hahaha!!!
Date: April 12, 2007 09:48 am Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
You will be glad to know that I survived my test, and this is the ultimate reward. And trust me, it wasn't looking good there (don't you hate it when you read the first question and you are like oh crap, I don't know... its never a good way to start a test. that is why i think the first question on every test should be something so stupididly easy). not that ANY of this matters about the matter before me. and that matter is a new (50) chapter of Girly Girl.
Aww, no Jim with condoms? oh well. I am curious about the black eye. I was upset there wasn't more of a fight in Negotiation, but it would have ruined his beautiful face... so, oh well.
All of this before i read the first line. I am in a typative mood today
Its just an elephant... yeah, just a couple ton animal....no big deal.
And haha, that episode of Friends was the first time I ever heard of Scranton. And I always thought of it very negatively because of that episode. And the office has allowed me to view Scranton in all its glory. Although, it still has a bit of a negative connotation that is lingering.
I loved all those Pam/Dwight/Angela emails.
Eeew eweew eew until you gave me the imagine of climbing on Dwight. eew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew....
Hum, does Pam plan on using those condoms with a certain tall, lanky salesman? Haha.
:) Best Pos-Sucky-Test story ever!
and wow, a very long, mostly pointless review
Author's Response:
I love your reviews because I always think the same thing...thank god I graduated and will never ever ever have to take a test again. Except maybe a JAM Manual quiz that fasterthansnakes is giving on Monday.
Plus "typative mood"? is awesome. Just mentioning I'll be stealing that.
When I heard that they were using Scranton, I was like "so perfect". Close to New York City and yet a million miles away. There used to be a Scranton Zoo and they closed it down. Have you ever heard of a zoo being closed down? That's Scranton. Ross totally nailed it in 'Friends' when he said the Scranton Zoo takes like, dogs and cows.
Okay, if you don't like my reasoning, than you'll have to persuade me otherwise... What is your reason that Dwight calls Angela "monkey", hmmmmm?
Date: April 12, 2007 07:32 am Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
Ha! hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha! Seriously, Muggins, you kill me with the funny! Are there more like you? Or can I just have you around the house to crack me up all the time? There were so many awesome moments, but the line that got me right at the beginning last time was it’s just an elephant! It’s not a…not a…rare hedgehog! It’s not an endangered cat of prey! Cat of prey???? Oh, Michael... This is awesome.
Author's Response: That was the weirdest line to pick out of the chapter. I wrote that one without even thinking. When I went back and read it during proofing, I was shocked. I didn't even remember writing it. And this is like 10 minutes after writing it. Hedgehog? Where did that come from? I totally thought I had written something else. And "cat of prey"...uh, aren't all cats technically "cats of prey"? Weird. Maybe I was having mind-meld with Michael when I wrote that because I sure didn't think it up. Kinda creeping myself out now....
Date: April 11, 2007 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
Oh man, Creed punching Jim in the eye made me laugh so hard. :)
I'd like to do that to the 'real' Jim...
Author's Response: aaliokulta, I think a line is forming of people who would like to do the 'real' Jim.
Date: April 11, 2007 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
I love the title of this chapter!
I'm pretty sure there are women who've been embarrassed by a Shrute in public. And men. And children. And plants.
And Pam, keep those condoms handy. Ya never know. Hey Muggins, please have Pam need those condoms. You know who I think should be wearing them. (No, not Creed...) Ooh, or they could spill out of her purse. In front of Karen, Toby, and Jim. And Kevin (Niiice). And then Pam and Jim scramble to pick them up and they grab the same one, fingers touching. And then they use it. Still your choice where and such.
Go an write, go and write! Do I have to do everything? (Heehee.)
Or, you can just, you know, write whatever you want. You know, since you're doing the actual work and stuff. Plus, since my idea sounds like Bad!Fanfic.
Author's Response:
I'm pretty sure there are women who've been embarrassed by a Shrute in public. And men. And children. And plants. Hahahahaha! You are so right...especially about the plants. But come on, this is Dwight. He's clueless. Did you see the Volunteer Sheriff's Uniform he was wearing? With a straight face? Ohmigod. But look at it from the Schrute point of view, No Schrute has ever been in public with a woman before. So technically he wasn't lying.
Spill out of her purse. In front of K,T,J, and Kev. P & J scramble. Fingers touch. Condom opened.
Interesting.
"La la la la" Pam skipped into the break room where Karen, Toby, Jim, and Kevin were discussing porcupines. "How do porcupines have sex?" Karen wondered out loud.
"Oh my!" Pam covered her mouth in shock. "Are you talking about Porcupines and sex? I have a photo right here in my purse.. Whoops!" Packages of condoms, a photo of lustful porcupines, and her car keys fell to the floor.
Jim leaped to aid her in her hour of need. As he bent over he spied the photo. He could barely contain the animal in him. That's when his finger accidentally brushed her palm. With a roar (unlike porcupines who are pretty much silent about the whole thing) he ripped open one of the packages and....
Hey why did you hear that? Ice cream truck!!!! I'll be right back!
Date: April 11, 2007 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 50 - Jim (Condoms, no. Black Eye, yes)
Okay, so there really are only a few things in my life that I enjoy more than finding a new chapter of girly-girl. I can't decide if that makes me pathetic or if this is just really really good, but I'm pretty sure it's the latter. Muggings, you rock! ;)
Author's Response: Gah! Too nice! Stop it! Stop it! Let's talk about the weather...botany... 'Golden Girls'. Do you think Bea Arthur oeuvre will be defined by her role on 'Golden Girls'? Discuss.
Date: April 11, 2007 01:01 am Title: Chapter 49 - Maybe Once I was a Girly Girl
ok, jim is good. sooooo good. but i have a strong gut feeling pam is BETTER. jim thinks he is getting back at her and the ladies? she is gonna find a way to turn this on him. yeah?
and karen wants a transfer? AWESOME! 'bout friggin time!
Author's Response: phew...it's good to know if that some emergency keeps me from writing, you can take over. Because, yeah, Pam is BETTER. Will she turn it on him? Well, here's a question - who has the condoms now?
Date: April 10, 2007 11:25 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head
Wow. The condoms! Too funny. And I am praying to Thor himself that Jim shows instead of Mose.
Nice work!
Author's Response: Hee! You put this review for the very first chapter! I bet everyone reading it will be like wha? "Jim instead of Mose"? What the hell? Hahahaha
Date: April 10, 2007 09:01 pm Title: Chapter 49 - Maybe Once I was a Girly Girl
Awesome, as always! You always take this to places I don't expect and I love it! Very nice shout out to the BBC version, that is one of my favorite scenes!
Author's Response:
Please explain. I've never seen the BBC original because I am deprived and poor. I also do not own the US Office on DVD for that very same reason.
Date: April 10, 2007 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 49 - Maybe Once I was a Girly Girl
OMG, Dwight! I love Dwight, and I love you for getting him right. I mean, platonically, of course. But still. Love.
Date: April 10, 2007 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 49 - Maybe Once I was a Girly Girl
Wow. What an OUTSTANDING chapter title. And it includes Karen's Big Dose O' Da CRAZY. So, really, it's all good.