Date: March 21, 2007 12:53 pm Title: Truth
“JET SKIS!”
Kenny in da house! Hilarious comic relief in the middle of this otherwise very tense scene.
Karen stays on the stoop, half-in and half-out of the doorway.
Perfect metaphor for where she is now. I like the way you mirror her state of mind in her actions.
He took her off his speed dial a week or so ago. The night of Phyllis’s wedding.
This line made me wince. No, Jim! Don't give up on her yet!
It feels strange to him to know that she was that close this whole time. It felt farther.
Awwww.
If she actually had feelings for him, then why didn’t they get together when she left Roy? What is missing from this picture?
Yeah, and that's the $64,000 question Greg Daniels is dancing around, isn't it? Can't wait to see your answer...
Author's Response: Kenny was the best character to write. Ever. And YAY for mentioning the half-in and half-out the door metaphor! I was wondering if I got that across or not, because no one had mentioned it. Thankee!
Date: March 21, 2007 12:33 pm Title: Mosquitoes
haha ok I messed up and thought this was only 4 chapters! So yeah I can't wait for chapter 6 because I really like chapter 5....so yeah chapter 6....
Date: March 21, 2007 12:31 pm Title: Mosquitoes
Okay this may sound weird but this is the best way to describe this fic, it's like razor blades slowly being pushed through your veins. The pain in these four chapters is phenominal I literally sit and read feeling ever single moment of awkwardness, rage, and at certain moments relief. You have managed to get me really honestly feel like I'm sitting on the front lawn and can just see every emotion. This is an amazing piece of fiction and how you write it makes me want to live in it. I can't wait for chapter 5 because I feel like thats when the tension may disolve a little bit, and I feel like this fic is in me now and every time I think about it part of me tenses up. A beautiful peice of work and I'm literally on the edge of my seat waiting for the next installment.
Author's Response: Oooh, razor blades! ouch! I mean, seriously it's an awesome compliment. Thank you very much!
10 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2007 11:01 am Title: Mosquitoes
Wow....What took me so long to check this story out ???How did I miss it ??!! I am so excited to see the outcome. Yay!! I found another story I love :) Amazing.
Author's Response: haha! Well, I'm glad you found it! I think there are going to be at least two more chapters, so you won't get the total outcome in the next chapter, but... soon :)
Date: March 21, 2007 10:03 am Title: Burn
Their palms kiss for just an instant before separating again.
Oh man, I don't think I've ever heard that turn of phrase before, but boy do I like it! How awesome is this story!!!! And this was just a great chapter. I have to tell you it's near impossible for people to make me feel sympathy for Karen, but YOU my dear actually succeeded in that! And Jim's realization that he was in fact using her, was just priceless. I do think that Jim is really unaware of the fact that he's doing that - so I can totally imagine him having that "i'm an ass" reaction when it finally hits him. Needless to say I can not WAIT for the chapter we've all been waiting for! ;-) GREAT WORK
Author's Response:
LoveFool! I'm such a fan! You write Jim/Pam dialogue like no one else. Baby Talk? AMAZING.
I was really hoping that the palms "kiss" would work, so yay! And I'm so happy to see so many reviewers saying that they were surprised to feel sympathy for Karen. Sympathetic!Karen is cool.Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Date: March 21, 2007 03:54 am Title: Burn
Just caught up on the last couple of chapters - still so good. Much though I often want to throttle Karen on the show, you made her so empathetic here - I was actually glad when she held Jim's feet to the fire! And the end, how just the thought of Pam coming into his house undoes him a bit (not to mention the palm kiss)? Jim wasn't the only one who forgot to breathe for a second!
Author's Response:
Oh yay! I'm such a fan of yours :)
I'm glad that the "palms kiss" line worked. I just thought it was a cool way to describe what was happening. The hand-touching was a last minute addition suggested by starblossom56. I originally had him guiding her into the house with his hand on her back, but this was much more fun!
Date: March 20, 2007 11:01 pm Title: Burn
wow! that was awesome! poor karen (i can't believe i just said that but, so it is...)but what now? wow! can't wait. next chapter please!!!
Author's Response: Hahaha! That seems to be a theme--people being surprised that they felt bad for Karen. I already have a little bit written for chapter 6 :)
Date: March 20, 2007 10:22 pm Title: Burn
There are so many things that I love about this! I loved the snow globe analogy. And your stove/burn analogy is so true: "She hates to admit just how deep the burn is." And the palms at the end! Ah! I love so much about this and cannot wait for the next installment!
Author's Response: Yay! I always try hard to create fitting metaphors, so I love to hear when they work. And the palms! That was great fun to write. More of that sort of thing to come ;-)
Date: March 20, 2007 09:48 pm Title: Mosquitoes
Oh I am so freaking hooked! I refreshed the page every two minutes waiting for your story and when it finally came, I almost fell off my bed squeeing with excitement. So so so good.
Author's Response: Oh, wow! Be careful! I don't want you to hurt yourself! And I feel sort of guilty because I took so long to get chapter five out. I'm reeeeally going to try to get the next one written faster.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 09:23 pm Title: Burn
You actually have me feeling sort of bad for Karen. Congratulations! The feeling won't last long, I assure you. I love that Pam and Jim are actually going to talk! At least, I hope they are. They are, right?? They're not going to!! I know, you write the next chapter and show me. =)
Author's Response: Heh. That's okay--you don't have to feel bad for Karen anymore. I don't think that she'll be showing up again in this fic. That was like her grand exit. As for Jim and Pam... well, Jim certainly wants to talk. We'll see how it goes...
Date: March 20, 2007 09:20 pm Title: Burn
It feels like he’s living in a snow globe that’s just been vigorously shook. The chaos of the original quaking is over, but he’s still floating through the water. He hasn’t come down yet. His feet haven’t hit the base of the globe. He’s just drifting in the midst of the pieces of his world, which are similarly uprooted and drifting with him.
Wow. I LOVE this metaphor! It's... wow. I really love that. (I have no words, I just do.)
I don't know that it's necessary to express how happy I am that Karen's out of the picture... I mean, you know, with all my love for her...
Ha.
In all seriousness, I love how you have her walk away, because really, it's the feminist part of me that hates her, and it's because she just seems so pathetic/sad for holding on to something that she obviously can't have. It is slightly redeeming that she walks away from it all.
Slightly.
But anyway, as always, I loved.
Chapter 6?
Author's Response:
I *thought* you might like the snow globe thing, because you tend to like my metaphors, which makes me happy :)
However, what does surprise me is that you were able to find anything slightly redeeming in Karen. I feel like a miracle worker! I want to go out and try to cure AIDS or end poverty! THere's nothing I can't do!
Date: March 20, 2007 09:17 pm Title: Burn
ahhhh i love this story! and though in my mind shes an evil wench, you did a good job of making me feel awful for Karen...but im really looking forward to the clean up
Author's Response: Ha! I'm glad I made you feel bad for the evil wench ;-) Clean up coming soon...
Date: March 20, 2007 09:15 pm Title: Burn
This was fantastic. And I really like the way you wrote Karen. I do hate her a bit for coming between Pam and Jim, but I also do feel bad for her and part of me even likes her. So the fact that you wrote her so well and not as some psychopath, but a normal girl, who had her heartbroken, that makes me happy.
Can't wait to see this confrontation between Jim and Pam....
Author's Response:
Thanks CG! I don't believe in Psycho!Karen. Not sure why, but I just can't. I try not to make her too likeable, but not too hateable either :)
And I'm excited for the Jim/Pam confrontation too!! I get to start writing it on Friday!
Date: March 20, 2007 08:40 pm Title: Burn
Very good chapter - you've really written all of them in character. Can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to update faster this time :)
Date: March 20, 2007 08:40 pm Title: Burn
you did amazing things with this chapter. i actually feel sorry for karen and then there's this feeling of hating Jim for the tiniest second. but he really can't help it he's in love with Pam now can he? anyway, i love it and can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I've been feeling a bit angry with Jim this season, but it's so hard to hate him, isn't it? Btw, great name. Just today I jinxed a friend and tried to explain to her that the rules of jinx are unflinchingly rigid. She didn't play along :(
Date: March 20, 2007 08:32 pm Title: Burn
Wow. You are seriously an ubelievable writer. This story is definite favorite of mine. And, I'm totally not a Jaren fan, but I've always sympathized with Karen. I thought you did a really great job at showing what she's going through. Which must be awful because Jim's amazing and how much would it suck to have him and only find out you're a buffer? Not her fault, I think I'd be scary protective too. But, anyway, you're awesome. Please update soon.
Author's Response:
I've always sympathized with Karen too! We are completely on the same page here. I always try to put myself in Karen's place. I know that I would be completely smitten with Jim, and to find out that he was in love with someone else would be devastating, and might make my a clingy person too.
Thanks so much for all the praise. It means a lot.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 08:29 pm Title: Burn
ksljdfjlksdf I did a little dance when I saw a new chapter! This is the best story on the site right now! Now Jim needs to go for it. :D
Author's Response: Oh wow! THANK YOU! This-- "ksljdfjlksdf" is the kind of reaction that I just love :)
Date: March 20, 2007 07:55 pm Title: Burn
I was completely uncomfortable during the entire Karen/Jim fight. Perfect. And I love how Jim's coming to his senses about how yeah maybe he's used these girls.
But oh: Their palms kiss for just an instant before separating again. Love love love it.
I love reading this story. This is one of the few post-Cocktails stories that I don't have to jog my memory for or reread past chapters. I look forward to these updates! :) Great job!
Author's Response:
Ha! When I read your first sentence I was like, "Oh no!" but I'm glad it was a good thing for you :) And thank you so much for mentioning the line about the hand-holding. That was starblossom56's idea. I originally had Jim putting his hand on the small of Pam's back, but SB suggested that I have their hands brush and I loved the idea, so I'm glad it worked!
Thank you!
Date: March 20, 2007 07:53 pm Title: Burn
“When you told her you had feelings, how did you say it?” she continues.
“Karen—” Jim starts.
“I’m pretty sure you didn’t say ‘Karen’ that night. It would have been awkward. You didn’t even know me yet,” Karen says.
Heh! Karen's such a great mixture of feisty, honest, and vulnerable here- just like in the show. I love how she forces Jim to see the shitty ways he's been treating her- it's not enough for her to realize it, but he has to as well. I'd love for something similar to happen on the show.
Another great chapter- can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you see Karen the way I do! She is absolutely all of the things you said. And I just saw her as tough enough that she wouldn't be able to just accept Jim's sweet little attempts to placate her anymore, and that she would try to make him face what he did to her. And I loooove that you liked that line too. Heh.
Date: March 20, 2007 07:25 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Woah. Drama.
Author's Response: Oh jeeze. Is that a good thing? Love the italics though. Heh.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 07:07 pm Title: Burn
OK PLEASE Don't have us wait soooo long next ime, this is simply amazing!! pleaseee have some good JAM my heart's dyinnng for some love in this story!! =) Rating it a 10 btw,,,
Author's Response: Awww, thanks for the 10! I'm going to try sooooo hard not to make you wait this long again! I felt rotten the entire time, I can assure you. I promise some Jammy moments in chapter six, and especially in chapter seven. How's that for a teaser?
Date: March 20, 2007 07:07 pm Title: Burn
I just love this story; I literally put down what I was doing (which was studying for a rather important test!) when I saw you'd posted a new chapter. Keep 'em coming!
Author's Response: Oh no! I hope you pass your test, Becky! But hey, I'm glad that you like my story that much :) I'm constantly on MTT when I should be doing work. It's an addiction.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 06:46 pm Title: Burn
You did a great job with Karen. She got to leave with a bit of dignity.
Definitely looking forward to chapter 6!!!!!
Author's Response:
*squee!*
Sorry. It's necessary for me to squee whenever I get a review from you, because I'm a crazy fangirl of yours. Thanks so much!
Date: March 20, 2007 06:42 pm Title: Burn
So, so good. I loved the snowglobe imagery. I also loved Jim finally having enough drama for the night, and when he realized he did use Karen (and Katy). I honestly think he doesn't realize it, even in canon.
Author's Response: Yay for the snowglobe love! I completely agree with you on Jim. He couldn't have noticed that he was using Karen and Katy. He's too much of a nice guy. Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2007 06:28 pm Title: Mosquitoes
Michael, please tell me this doesn’t in any way involve… man parts,
Oh, dear God. I just LOST it on that line. No, whoops, lost it again:
I think she’s a necrophiliac
And again:
monogrammed relationship
And you encapsulate Karen so beautifully with:
Sometimes you just need to swat the mosquito.
And then back to the funny:
“Is that your mailbox in the middle of the road?”
I love how you go from anxious to serious to funny and back again, just yanking me all over the place, and it is so great! You are SO into Karen's head here. And you have pinned Michael to a T! Just so well done, so well characterized. I congratulate you! Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Hee! Yay for chapter one reviews! That chapter was so fun for me. I have to get Michael back in here at some point, because he is just beyond hilarious to write. I hope you enjoy the rest of it!