10 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 10:27 pm Title: She thinks I'm cute
This was seriously cude. I giggled! Despite loathing MySpace!
Author's Response: Yeah, I know nothing about MySpace. I just thought it would be "cude." :)
Date: April 15, 2007 10:11 pm Title: She thinks I'm cute
Hmm... five nights of talking, or have Roy attack him, which will he hate more? And the MySpace thing? Freaking adorable!
Loved the details about Pam's face lighting up at being able to cheer Jim up so quickly. Very true to character happy Jamness.
Author's Response: Aww, thanks! We all love our Jam, don't we? :)
9 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 10:02 pm Title: She thinks I'm cute
What I really like about this piece is that we start with Jim not wanting to prank, and yet when she does it, he does too! To be clear, the two pranks are different becase Karen wanting to prank Pam, without her knowledge just wasn't a good idea. Jim and Pam can prank each other because they're each implicit in what the other one is doing. No outside partners.
Anyay, I really like where you're going with this.
Author's Response: Great, thanks!! That's exactly what I was trying to say: that Jim and Pam can play little jokes on each other because they're friends, but to play a joke on Pam with an "outside party" like Karen would be out of bounds for Jim. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 09:54 pm Title: Joke's on you
Sorry for jumping in again but I too, needed to say that the dialogue was spot on. Very much Jim and Karen. Dialogue can be very challenging, so pat yourself on the back for that.
Author's Response: Sweet--thanks!
Date: April 15, 2007 09:52 pm Title: She thinks I'm cute
I am really enjoying this so far. I like that Jim didn't give in to Karen about pranking Pam. It seemed as if he might for a moment.
Author's Response: Nevahhhh!!!!! He will never prank Pam! Oops, sorry. I got a little carried away there. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 09:45 pm Title: She thinks I'm cute
The last paragraph about the Myspace pages cracked me up. How adorable! More Please. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I don't know anything about MySpace, but I thought it would be cute. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 07:41 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
You pretty much rock. First off, the dialogue in the first chapter was really funny and very in character. I love that you're giving Karen a fair deal here. Yeah, she's a littly pissy, but I would be too in her situation. She's still fun.
Now in this chapter you've got great Jim/Pam dialogue. It's got a different tone from the Jim/Karen stuff, more nervous, which is great. And Pam sliding the Snickers into his pocket? Fantastic. (Is that a candy bar in your pocket or are you just... nah. I won't go there.)
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! What a great review. I'm glad the dialogue rings true for you. I'll post the next chapter soon. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 07:32 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
I like the balance you've struck with Karen. She's perfect amounts upset, frustrated, and witchy. :) And I love Pam! I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And who doesn't love Pam? She's too cute not to love. :)
10 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 05:22 pm Title: Joke's on you
You did an awesome job with the first two chapters! I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of it. The characterizations are spot-on, IMO. Especially Karen. I really enjoyed the dialogue between Karen and Jim in the break room.
Author's Response: Thank you! This is only the second fic I've written on The Office, because their writing is so good it's intimidating to try to emulate it. I'm glad I'm doing okay. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 02:38 pm Title: Joke's on you
I really liked this story. Especially the line you used twice: "It must be weird to say that to someone other than yourself." How true is that? Such a poignant line. Going right for the grief bone. Karen kind of knows how to hit it where it hurts.
I think you did a nice job with the Karen/Jim dialogue. The scene in the breakroom with Jim and Pam was cute, too. It's hard ... them dealing with this space between them, but I think after Jim's conversation with Karen a minute earlier, it almost made it easier to open up to her a little bit there. Anyway, can't wait to see what happens next!!
Author's Response: Thanks for the detailed review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm enjoying writing it; I've missed Jim and Pam's easy camaraderie on the show, so it's nice to be able to write/read it in fic.
Date: April 15, 2007 01:10 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
Haha I loved the bit at the end about the personnel complaint that was the icing on the cake and definitely unexpected (I thought perhaps Karen had already thrown in the towel)
Way too short, but a great way to introduce Pam to the story
Great job
Author's Response: I have a background in poetry, so I actually find it difficult to write longer fiction, because it goes against everything I've learned about economy of words. I'll try to be a little more long-winded in the next few chapters, though. :) And don't worry, there will definitely be a chapter involving Karen and the towel. ;)
Date: April 15, 2007 12:38 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
Hey, Lisahoo, you beat me - I was going to use that line!! I really like both chapters so far, you have the gift of putting so much emotion into only a few words. Can't wait to see what happens next...
Author's Response: Thank you! That's so nice of you to say.
Date: April 15, 2007 12:25 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
Uh, is that a Snickers bar, or is Jim just happy to see Pam? (Sorry, couldn't resist!)
Author's Response: BWAH HA HA HA HA HA! I almost put something at the end of the chapter about the Snickers bar, but I just couldn't do it.
Date: April 15, 2007 12:17 pm Title: Percussive maintenance
She slid the candy bar into his pants pocket and took a step back, quirking an eyebrow as she watched his eyes widen in surprise.
Oh my! I was excited about this story before but now I CAN'T WAIT to see where you're going with it!
Author's Response: Hee! Don't pressure me! ;)
Date: April 15, 2007 09:45 am Title: Joke's on you
Excellent job! Great characterization. I could hear Jim in my head when I read what you had written. I can't wait to see where this goes next.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I am, too. :)
9 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 09:41 am Title: Joke's on you
LOL ! Loved Karen's last comment there!! I could really hear thier vocies in this story, well written! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. I've got the next 3 chapters written, so I'll stick another one up soon. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 08:57 am Title: Joke's on you
Ooh, interesting start. And I think you accomplished making Karen not "too horrid" but frustrated... I really thought the beginning banter about the prank was very cute and sweet between her and Jim, and I understand why she'd get annoyed, but really: Jim pranking Pam in any way other than the adorableness of the Andy prank? Don't see it happening. Let it go, Karen!
Author's Response: Yep, exactly. I always felt like the Andy prank was more a way to get Andy to do embarrassing things for Jim and Pam's entertainment, rather than to actually prank Pam, because she picked up right away what was going on, as Jim knew she would. Because they know each other so well. Aww. :)
Date: April 15, 2007 08:41 am Title: Joke's on you
I always thought a really telling moment, re: Jim's true thoughts, was in The Convict, when Karen wants to join in his prank on Pam (well, really on Andy, but...) The way he instinctively recoiled and deflected her - like pranking was his thing with Pam, and it would be too painful to have Karen so blatantly usurp her role that way. For him too, I think. That's the feeling that came through in this chapter as well...Pam is off limits, and the way he says it, sums up so much. Looking forward to seeing what's next.
Author's Response: Yes, excellent example. And I wanted to give that a little more weight in my story, especially after The Negotiation. I just couldn't believe that Jim would really be that cold to Pam, so there had to be something else going on in his mind that we weren't privy to. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!
Date: April 15, 2007 08:22 am Title: Joke's on you
OOOOOooo very interesting! I'm loving the premise and can't wait to see where you go from here!
Date: April 15, 2007 08:01 am Title: Joke's on you
Ooooo...Karen slamming Jim! That ending was great. I think Karen has been wanting to say that for a looooong time.
Author's Response: Hee--I think you're right.
Date: April 15, 2007 07:59 am Title: Joke's on you
I really liked this. Jim's reaction to hearing Pam was the target was spot-on.
My one quibble is that Karen saying “Such a dork,” seemed too Jim or Pam-like...
Some favorite parts were "mouthing “Minesweeper” again.", "I can't", and "Pam is off limits." Plus, it's just a really good concept in general.
I look forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks for the comments, TLK. I agree with you about "Such a dork." I have a little more trouble getting a handle on Karen's dialogue than Jim's. :( But I'm glad you liked the rest!
Date: April 15, 2007 05:40 am Title: Joke's on you
This is really well written. You have captured the two character's voices perfectly, especially Jim's. It felt like I was hearing dialogue from the show here and there. Wonderful stuff. And I like how Karen never lets Jim off the hook. It may be the one good thing about their relationship. She at least forces him to deal with important issues. I look forward to seeing where you take this!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm glad I hit the dialogue. Thanks for the great review, Cousin Mose!
Date: April 15, 2007 04:59 am Title: Joke's on you
Loved this exchange: “Pam is off limits,” “It must be weird to say that to someone other than yourself.” Ouch.
Looking forward to the rest!
Date: April 15, 2007 04:52 am Title: Joke's on you
“I can’t.” How many questions could be answered with that phrase?
Ouch. Very nice. I like this. I like that Karen is trying to fix things the best she can, and that, far from being vindictive, she's simply blundering because she doesn't get it. Or, actually, she does get it, but is trying to re-arrange things in a way that fits. I don't know if I'm making sense, but your story does and I love it!
6 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 02:50 am Title: Joke's on you
That last line... ouch!
I can't wait to see where this goes!