8 [Report This]Date: June 20, 2007 08:10 pm Title: The Pulse of my Existence
This was beautiful! So moving. I absolutely loved this part - "If I fall from New York City, how will I explain myself to you? How many ways can I confess the beat of my heart? How many times can I hand you the keys to the closets inside of me? Which pieces of me, I wonder, would force you to do something rash like fall in love? Fall in love with me."
Very nicely done.
Author's Response: thank you!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it
9 [Report This]Date: June 14, 2007 08:51 am Title: The Pulse of my Existence
That was amazing. Very heart and soul.
Author's Response:
that's how I like it ;-) thanks.
10 [Report This]Date: June 14, 2007 08:32 am Title: The Pulse of my Existence
I think that if Jim Halpert came across this somewhere, he'd e-mail it to Pam with a note that says, "This made me think of you."
Author's Response: Yes! Thank you that is so exactly what I was going for. I hadn't actually thought of it that way, but that's totally it. Thanks so much for that little insight ;-)
Date: June 14, 2007 07:49 am Title: The Pulse of my Existence
its interesting and different. i did enjoy reading it, but, i don't know what to comment
Author's Response: lol thanks for the review. Yeah there's not much to comment on, especially since this is Jim Halpert W.B. Yeats style. ;-)
Date: June 13, 2007 10:32 pm Title: The Pulse of my Existence
Good effort...
Author's Response: thanks...
10 [Report This]Date: June 13, 2007 10:31 pm Title: The Pulse of my Existence
I loved this! Excellent job.
Author's Response: thank you!!
Date: June 13, 2007 10:20 pm Title: The Pulse of my Existence
Very interesting, Stablergirl! You're right that it's not really Jim's voice, but it's absolutely beautiful poetry. I don't generally read poetry, but this is lovely.
I liked this line (and the paragraph it was in) the most: "How many times can I hand you the keys to the closets inside of me?" Amazing.
You could publish this as a poem, unrelated to Jim and Pam...you would maybe change New York City to something like "my new life".
I'm glad I took a look! And you know I'd never freak at you!
Author's Response: lol true! thanks for the review, and for giving this a read. I'm glad you took a look too ;-)
Date: June 13, 2007 10:18 pm Title: The Pulse of my Existence
Very nice. Well done.
Author's Response: thank you!