Date: September 02, 2007 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 14: There's No Chance For Us; It's All Decided For Us
even this thing has been AU from the very beggining, for me this chapter is where it gets really Alternate. Maybe it is because I have never been in this particular situation, but what she seems to be doing is sort of the height of cruelty. Stringing him along only to deny it later. And not just with alliances and yogurt lids any more. Really stringing him along. But of course, this exquisite type of torture and back and forth is what makes your fics REALLY good. So, keep going, and I will keep squeeling every time its on the Most Recent List.
Date: September 02, 2007 08:51 pm Title: Chapter 14: There's No Chance For Us; It's All Decided For Us
Another beautiful angst-filled chapter! Agghh! I wish Pam would just grow a pair! What's so great about Roy anyway? Jim is everything a woman could ever want! Cant wait for the next chapter!
Date: September 02, 2007 07:18 pm Title: Chapter 14: There's No Chance For Us; It's All Decided For Us
Wow. That really just tears at the heart. I like that Jim is finally pleading his case, while still knowing that pushing her too much will just drive her away. I think it's really important for her to be flat out told at this stage that she can't go back to how things were, with Roy at home and Jim her best friend at work. You do such an awesome job of capturing Pam here. She's just so overwhelmed by everything, I think largely because she really feels the power of her own choices right now. I'm not sure she's ever been the one holding the cards in her life. Now she's really holding all the cards, with both Jim and Roy. And when you're not used to this and passive to begin with, you don't even really want to be the one holding all the cards.
I think that might be the angstiest chapter of them all, but I loved every word...
Date: September 02, 2007 06:54 pm Title: Chapter 1: Content to Compromise
This promised happy ending better be freaking happy because you're just breaking my heart here!
And I swear that was meant to be a compliment, despite how it sounded. And aAs much as it hurts me to read it, you write angst remarkably and painfully well.
Author's Response:
Heh -- I promise: the proportion of my angst to happiness is always balanced; it's just a kind of delayed gratification. LOL.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: August 27, 2007 11:08 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Gah! All they'll ever have? You wouldn't dare! This is AU! I demand a happy ending! :-)
I love the constant references to possibilities in the first half of this chapter. It was such a nice motif. And good for Jim, finally calling her out on her shit. And she noticed! Yay!
Author's Response:
LOL -- yes ma'am, miss belsum (or mr.)! I will give you a happy ending; I promise! (Seriously -- I'm heaping on the angst in such an enormous pile that I'd feel genuinely guilty if I didn't make up for it somehow....)
Thanks, as always, for reviewing!
Date: August 27, 2007 05:58 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Woa. Need to catch my breath here.
Ideally, of course Pam would have stopped to think how she'd be hurting Jim and herself by leading him down this path...but (thank god) people/characters don't always behave in the most considered, healthy way, especially in the heat of the moment (emphasis on heat, girlfriend!) - and you've vividly colored Pam as running on hurt and hormones and confusion here, so I buy her letting it go this far. The test for me is that regardless of the circumstances she's recognizably Pam. But oh, Jim - your last line breaks my heart for him in 1000 ways, with surgical precision.
all pretenses just gone....
That's exactly what this feels like. I must be a glutton for punishment, cause I can't wait for more of this ;-)
Author's Response:
As usual, your review sheds insight on what I've written in such a way that I'm left sitting here deep in thought, mulling it over. So glad you appreciated the inherently flawed-ness of this chapter; I was actually a little surprised by the vehemence of some reviews in Jim's defense. (Totally appreciated them -- and the reactions, because that's what we're after right?) But I saw this as just Pam completely screwing up and being human, while Jim is doing the same -- knows she's not going to be his, but still he doesn't stop himself.
But at the same time, even if I weren't the one writing this story, I'd read a scene like this one and know that they'll end up together -- because I don't think these two would be capable of just one night, no matter their intentions.
Anyway - thanks, as always, for the review; you rock, my friend!
Date: August 26, 2007 04:44 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Here I was thinking these AU chapters would be somewhat happier! But you do the angst so well, it's not like I'm complaining :-) It's so sad to me that Pam still can't think of leaving Roy, even after he's cheated on her. I think it makes sense, though, because she really does love Roy. But man, it's frustrating! I like the concept that Pam just wants to know what it's like to be with Jim "once." But, I bet that just once is not going to be wholly satisfying! I hope so at least :-)
Author's Response:
Heh -- nooooo, the AU chapters are all about the sex and the angst and the drama, baby! :o) (I will make it all right, though; I promise.)
Glad you found it plausible that Pam wouldn't be able to even conceive of leaving Roy, because that's really the way I perceive her -- even after all this with Jim, I think she'd still be so scared (maybe even MORE scared).
Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: August 26, 2007 03:49 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
His words seem to trickle over her in a cold shock as she realizes in an instant the magnitude of all she's done to him: the way she's encouraged him to fill the emotional void Roy leaves, even though she knows what it costs him to do so; the way she's deliberately pretended not to see that he wants her, because doing so would mean that she can't safely keep indulging her own attraction; the way she's given him just enough to hold onto, a smattering of small moments that are sufficient to convince him that there's a chance.
Perfect. So spot on. The rest of the chapter was fantastic too.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much -- seriously. This was a hard chapter to write, and I get the sense that it wasn't a picnic for people to read either. :O) I appreciate the feedback!
Date: August 26, 2007 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
OH MY GOD!!! This is, without a doubt, the best chapter in this beautifully written story! I have been enjoying this from the start and I must say, you keep surprising me with every chapter- you are an amazing writer and I hope this isnt the end! WOW that was HOT!!!!
Author's Response:
Oh wow, thank you so much! I was feeling guilty for outraging the other readers, LOL. Seriously though - thanks so much for taking the time to let me know you're enjoying it!
Date: August 26, 2007 10:44 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
You did it again! You left us hanging! My nerves are shot-please post chapter 14 soon!! This is too much to handle! I think I know how Jim must be feeling right now! :) Pam!!! WAKE UP!!! This chapter was simply delicious!
Author's Response:
You know, I swear I don't do the cliffhangers to be cruel; it's just that when I see something that would be a good break in the action, I go for it (otherwise my chapters would be painfully long, trust me, hee).
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2007 10:00 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Oh, this was so intense, and I enjoyed it way too much. I agree with your response to NEJ that the only way Pam would have done this, pre FNB, would be if she was faced with infidelity by Roy or a similar situation that would make turning to Jim seem somehow less wrong. Of course, the alcohol just makes everything so much easier.
The last line, so poignant and sad.
Great job, as always. Looking foward to where this is headed.
Author's Response:
Big sigh. Such a relief to hear someone say she/he enjoys the intensity (seriously). This chapter has been a risk, obviously, but speaking honestly....who hasn't been there before? Life would be lovely (at times) in black and white.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: August 26, 2007 09:50 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
oh noooo...it's still going to end up with Pam going back to Roy?????
God Jim is going to need serious counseling and rehabilitation to trust women again!!
I hope Pam comes to her senses and listens to her inner voice, the reason that she wasn't devastated when Roy cheated is because she had checked out of that realtionship a long time ago. She loves Jim!!
Although I think that the reason so many people are loving this story is because you write the angst so well, we think we want the happy fluff....but the turmoil is what keeps us so invested in your story, so just discount the first half of my review.......
:)
Author's Response:
Well it WAS before I figured out that this is AU -- which means I can take it any which way I want, LOL.
Seriously, though, you're right on in your assessment of Pam (at least, of MY Pam) -- that she's let go, isn't really emotionally invested in Roy anymore. That's really important to this, I think.
...Still, though, I will make it all right, I promise. (NOTE: I did not promise an absence of angst on the way to the happy ending, LOL.)
THanks so much for your review!
Date: August 26, 2007 09:30 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
girl7 - you are a great writer & i love your stories. this has just made me sad though. the thought of pam using jim to get even w/ roy, even if she does feel more than that, is unbearable. if she leaves & tries to keep things going w/ roy, it will kill jim. whew, heavy stuff
Author's Response:
Well I'm sorry that this made you sad -- or rather, I'm sorry it made you sad without "purging pity and fear," as good old Aristotle said tragedy should. :o)
This is very, very dark - and Pam's actions are questionable, at best. I promise I'm aware of that (which means I also feel compelled to correct it).
The thing I love about this show and this couple is that there are so many fundamental flaws that render things real. That's what I'm going for here (as best I can) -- the very real consequences of Pam acting so impulsively.
In short: All manner of things shall be well [/Julian of Norwich], and I'll bring them both out of this relatively unscathed (a perk of being the writer, hee).
Thanks so much for your honest review!
10 [Report This]Date: August 26, 2007 08:17 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Whoa, whoa, whoa.... You left off at a different spot, yeah? Quite the torturer you are, you know that? As always you capture the emotion and confusion of the moment- Pam struggling to make sense of her feelings, Jim not daring to even question her appearance... So heartbreaking.
Author's Response:
Indeed I did, because I'm rotten like that, hee. Thanks infinity for your invaluable input -- makes such a difference; you have no idea.
Date: August 26, 2007 08:13 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
oh my god....wow...way too good to be reading on a SUNDAY morning... please post again... SOON.
Luchy
Author's Response:
Is it wrong that I feel a smidge of satisfaction that you read such flith on a Sunday? Understand, I have great respect for all people's faith -- was raised Methodist -- but I'm continually astonished at the ways Georgia manages to get around that pesky old separation-of-church-and-state thing.
No alcohol sold or served on Sunday? May I ask why not? Oh, because you said so.... Well shoooosh, as long as it isn't tied to your personal religious proclivities, then I'm okay with it.
Sorry for the snark. :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2007 08:11 am Title: *Chapter 11: Sometimes You Can't Make It Best You Can Do Is To Fake It
OMG, i would love for scott foley to play jim's brother! they are both so adorable! i'm interested to see where your story goes...
Author's Response:
Ah me -- let me tell you, the idea struck me over a year ago, and I just can't get over it. The perfect family (IMHO)? Oldest brother Ron Livingston (props to Colette for calling this one); second oldest Scott Foley.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2007 07:38 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
You're really breaking my heart here, though I could feel it coming all along. I find it interesting that though I have a hard time imagining Pam being quite this cruel, I do buy it and can see why she's doing it, especially given this particular stage of her life. I actually think to some extent you're doing a great job of showing why the direction the show took really was best, to let Pam learn and grow on her own before being with Jim. I really think she needed to find her own strength and value, and here she is willing to give in to Jim "just once" (which now makes Jim's CN "just once" all the mor heartbreaking), but somehow seems to not really see that she really can break out from her plans and be with Jim. She seems to know what she wants, but this version of Pam still can't quite find it in her to voice what she wants, and then act to actually get it. This is the closest she can do, and still makes Jim make the first move.
So, in a somewhat long winded way, great job...
Author's Response:
Okay, given the fact that your reviews are like an oracle into my motivation, it means a lot that you buy Pam's actions here. To be honest, I was completely caught off guard by the reaction to the last chapter -- at least, inasmuch as it was a sort of "shame on Jim" response (but put more succinctly and articulately...hence this rambling diatribe, heh).
But honestly, when I wrote it, I was of the opinion that they were both victims of the game they're playing -- transgressing all sorts of boundaries but refusing to accept or face the consequences. My rationale is that I don't believe Pam would've been capable of following through.
Would she have an impulsive one night stand with Jim in light of Roy's confession? Yes. Would she have any idea what to do after the fact? Absolutely not.
And I'm also in full agreement with you -- we'd all have been cheated (as would have both Pam and Jim) had Pam just rushed right from Roy's arms into Jim's. I don't agree with all the choices the writers made last season (my only real beef is that Karen didn't walk away from him after the "yes" heard 'round the world), but at the same time, I have to give them props for setting the stage the way that they did.
...And you called your review long-winded. ;oD
Thanks for the feedback!
Date: August 26, 2007 06:55 am Title: Chapter 1: Content to Compromise
Amazing, as always...
As I read, I kept hoping that Jim would tell her that while Roy, who "has" her, could not remain faithful, that Jim had been faithful to her since he fell in love with her. What would that do to Pam?
(I know it would get me... but JH wouldn't have to work too hard at that!:-)
Can't wait for more!
Author's Response:
Oh good lord, woman! (Or man!) That's the saddest thing ever....but holy god, it's really true here, isn't it? Sad sigh.
And yeah, I'm thinking JH wouldn't have to work to hard to get any of us, now would he? :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2007 01:04 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
I wanted to leave feedback, but sweet Jesus, I am speechless.
It was just achingly beautiful, perfect, painful... GUH. I'm spent. Amazing.
Author's Response:
It's such a relief to hear that; I just could not get this chapter right, so I finally just forced myself to let it go and post it. So it's great to hear that you liked it!
Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: August 26, 2007 01:02 am Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Ugh I love it...I don't know if I can take much more of this. What am I saying, of course I can. This is WIN.
Author's Response:
Yeah, this chapter - while a challenge to write - was not particularly a fun one to write. :o) But I'm bearing in mind that all is well now; we're not going to come back this season and find her pushing him away and sending him running to Stamford... :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: August 25, 2007 09:35 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
Wow! I'm going to need a rum and coke after that chapter.
Incredible.
Author's Response: Heh. :o) So glad you liked it!
Date: August 25, 2007 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
While I enjoyed this story, I have to say that the ending surprised me a little. Maybe I've got this all wrong, but it sounds as if Pam is having sex with Jim in order to get back at Roy. That's pretty low, even if Roy has hurt her. It's cruel beyond words to Jim. Even when she thinks
Even in her haze, she knows the logic is dangerously, recklessly flawed -- that what she's feeling right now has nothing to do with Roy and everything to do with Jim.
That says she knows what she's doing--and still does it. So she knows she is going to hurt Jim, hurt Roy, hurt herself, and she goes right on ahead? Very self-destructive. Hard to believe that's Pam. She's too kind to do this.
"I just want to...once."
That sounds pretty rough on Jim, whose about to get his heart's desire only to have it snatched away again after she's gotten her revenge.
Am I totally reading this wrong? I hope so. I loved all the rest of this story. I loved the line
Sometimes the sheer promise of all that could be burns so brightly it's painful.
And Jim's story about the dog curing Jon of his blindness was funny.
I know it doesn't always have to end happily for Pam and Jim. I know fluff isn't necessarily where you were headed here. Maybe I've misunderstood all of this? Sorry if I'm rambling.Author's Response:
First of all: Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a detailed, thoughtful review; I really appreciate it. Second, much of what you mentioned in your review is exactly what I struggled with while writing this. The original ending/concept that I had in mind was very different from this (it's the ending that appears in chapter ten), but there were a lot of reviews expressing a desire to see an AU version; I thought it'd be an interesting challenge to write one, so here we are.
That said, what I'm actually trying to convey here (and am apparently not doing so well with it) is that Pam's not, actually, doing this as a means to get back at Roy; I've tried to emphasize that what she's most upset about is not the fact that Roy slept with someone else, but that it has cast their lives into uncertainty (and this means she might have to confront just what it is she feels for Jim).
More than that, though, she showed up at Jim's because it's what she's wanted to do all week (longer than that), and Roy's confession is the catalyst for her doing that. In other words, she'd almost like to believe that what she's doing with Jim is just revenge sex that'll mean nothing, but she knows deep down that it has absolutely nothing to do with Roy -- that this is something that she's been building toward since the weekend before when things got out of hand. And she knows full well that it's not just physical attraction, on either of their parts.
As far as Jim is concerned, I think he'd be aware on some level that this likely won't end well -- or rather, that it won't change things between them (at least not in a positive way), but he's still hopeful. And he's also a man, of course -- and isn't going to turn down an opportunity to be with the woman of his dreams, even if it's only for one night.
Now, it's still a pretty horrible and reckless thing for Pam to do (not to mention simply stupid, given that she has no real intention of leaving Roy). It's why I had such a hard time writing this and figuring out a way to make it plausible; this was the best scenario I could come up with.
But as for your statement that Pam's too kind to do this -- I absolutely agree, totally. It's why this is the AU version and not the "real" one.
Thanks again for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: August 25, 2007 08:48 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
This was an awesome chapter.
This last line made me cry:
Their eyes meet, and her breath hitches -- because the desire in his eyes is punctuated by desperation, marked with a very palpable heartache, as if he knows this is all they'll ever have.
Author's Response:
Oh, I'm sorry I made you cry! Just remember: As far as we all know, they've spent the summer dating and having a grand old time; all is well now... :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: August 25, 2007 08:46 pm Title: Chapter 1: Content to Compromise
Talk about experiencing the emotion with the characters...that was...wow. That was written so well, their pain and longing for each other. It was palpable.
Very well written.
Date: August 25, 2007 08:19 pm Title: Chapter 13: Here It Comes Now, Sure As Silence Follows Rain
All I can say is FINALLY. I loved this so much, the writing continues to be absolutely top notch (as always). I love the way you've developed in control/out of control Jim so vividly. The wine served you well! ;) Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
I know - sorry it took so long; real life intervened, plus I was having a hell of a time trying to figure out a scenario within which this would even be remotely plausible...
Thanks so much for the reviews - glad you liked it!