10 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 08:33 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. That was fantastic! I really liked your writing style - simple yet elegant, and your use of the second person to capture Jim's POV was beautifully done. Just really lovely.
I wish I could pull out a particular line as my favorite, but honestly there were so many parts I loved that I can't choose. A truck of paper for the number of minutes he's dreamed of kissing her, neither of them being afraid anymore, a high-school crush but they both know the steps of the dance, a kiss on the neck being the new line... all beautiful.
I really wish this is what happened after the finale. Great job!
Date: August 21, 2006 07:21 am Title: Chapter 1
Lovd this! Liked how you were really able to get a bit of their usual humor/banter in there while still keeping it intense
7 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 06:56 am Title: Chapter 1
Mmm, I like this. The second person and how everything's different when he has nothing left to lose and the knife edge moment, not knowing how far to push things. A second kiss. And her going to answer the phone, hee.
10 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 06:27 am Title: Chapter 1
That was so tense and charged that I held my breath as I read it. You really did a great job!
10 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 05:23 am Title: Chapter 1
This piece gave me the same wide-eyed, barely-breathing feeling that the actual confession/kiss scenes did. I can't think of anything better I can say about it.
10 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 05:05 am Title: Chapter 1
This is how I would see them after The Kiss. Very well done.
10 [Report This]Date: August 21, 2006 12:45 am Title: Chapter 1
"Making her happy comes naturally to you." Doesn't that just say it all?
This is fantastic. You really nailed how well they know eachother. I like your style of writing a lot. I can't wait for more stories from you.