Date: December 20, 2007 05:02 pm Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
I might be as excited as Pam is!! Love the bit about Jim's 'bubble'. It does get a LOT different when there's another little person in it.
Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you're excited for the road trip, lisahoo! I am too, but good grief, I'll be a nervous wreck driving the bus!!! It's not typical Jam fluff for them to be a little hesitant and maybe have a moment of reluctance about the coming baby, but I do think it's realistic to worry about those changes that you know so well. Thank you so much for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 11:35 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
Again I am just amazed with your ability to highlight the small, seemingly insignificant, but really incredibly important moments in life. You write this so well. Beautifully done as always.
Author's Response: So nice to read this, PBS, after this chapter gave me such a hard time. I restarted it about four times and I have a whole "deleted scene" between Jim and Dwight that was (in my mind) hilarious - but it just wasn't right at this point in the story. Thank you so much for your kind comments and encouragement!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 08:45 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
another great chapter! loved it!
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much, ISB!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 08:22 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
Sweetpea, updates to this story are like warm chocolate chip cookies : ) I just wish it was an endless batch.
Author's Response: Nan, I can't tell you how good it is to read this after this chapter gave me fits getting itself finished! Thank you so much for being all along the way!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 08:12 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
Okay, so I have been enjoying this story a lot and have been shamefully neglecting to review it. Also, I have a rule that any use of Springsteen lyrics merits a review.
This is very good storytelling in a way we don't always see in fanfic. The focus is on the story, rather than generating a particular reaction in the reader. It's not about happy fluffballs or heartwrenching angst, but about a story you want to tell. I don't know if that makes sense.
Also, in this particular chapter, I love the aspect of Jim needing to always fix things and Pam sometimes being frustrated by that. I think that is a very realistic dynamic.
So, great job on this.
Author's Response: What a wonderful, wonderful compliment, brokenloon, and it totally makes sense, and I'm thrilled you think so. The dynamic you mentioned - I think it's a pretty common one that most couples can relate to. Jim gets so idealized in a lot of fic, and this story is no exception, so it felt right to give him a bit of a typical male flaw and have Pam react in a typically female way. She just wants to vent and he doesn't need to rescue her! Thank you so much your kind words and I hope you stick around for the rest!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 07:39 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
Sweetpea--Let me begin with a quick sneak peak of the CH Story Hour. I have spent the past 20 hours wrapped in the not-so-fun world of foreign policy notes. The exam was at 9:00 today, so I crawled away from the world yesterday to hang out with Woodrow Wilson, Teddy R., and a bunch of folks who wanted to get trade incentives in Asia. It was not a fun day. At all. I woke up this morning, ate half a muffin (I don't eat a lot before tests--I get antsy and queasy), then took the test at 9. Afterwards, I crawled out of hte building, into the snow, licking my wounds from a WHOLE semester of school that is finally over. I came home, opened my computer, swigged a diet coke, and then I saw that "Allentown" was updated.
It was like some cathartic, biblical experience in relieving my burden, taking away the horrors of exams, and bringing a smile to my face. Like some heavenly moment where the lord said, "This is good."
So, yeah, I loved this chapter, and thank you thank you thank you for giving me something so fabulous with which to kick off my winter break!!!!
CH story hour concludes...now. --CH :-)
Author's Response:
"Biblical?!" Get outta here!! I hesitate to say that this chapter's been the hardest, because I sure as hell don't want to jinx myself for the next one, because I'm feeling a little like Michael at the end of "Healthcare" doing the drum roll. I really don't want the next one to be an ice cream sandwich or a ride down a mineshaft! It sure would be great if it were a trip to somewhere fabulous - like an "All-Inclusive"!!!!! Thank you for the sweet review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 06:19 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
Sweetpea! What a treat to wake up and find a new Allentown chapter! Especially since I'm all caught up now and can feel like I know what's going on. :P
First off, I have to point out something I never noticed before until this chapter, but which I absolutely love: Pam has changed her last name to "Halpert," (as evidenced by her screen name), but Jim still calls her "Beesly." I don't know why I didn't make that connection until now, and I don't know why I adore that so much, but I do. It's just another one of those little touches that make this story so great.
I also laughed out loud at the "pregnant woman with the bionic hearing" line, and smiled happily when Pam said "we're going to be okay." Such a blissfully real moment.
Well done, as usual!
Author's Response:
Mose, so nice to see you here again! I love that you love the "Beesly" thing! I kind of think Jim probably pulls that out when Pam is misbehaving - kind of like how your mom uses your first, middle and last names when you're being bad!
The "we're going to be okay" scene...that was tough, there was a lot going on there, I think. Pam is really, really happy to be having a baby, but she's pretty disappointed about her dreams for a new career being put on hold. I think she had a similar realization in the shower that Jim had in the bedroom - everything was about to change and it was inevitable. But I think she wants to make sure Jim knows she's not unhappy with him or the coming baby and when she sees him on the bed, I think she knows he's sensing the winds of change, too. She's the one who needs to comfort him this time.
Wow, did I just tell a whole 'nother story there? Okay, I'll just wrap it up by saying how much I've enjoyed reading your reviews and how much I appreciate this one!
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2007 05:59 am Title: Chapter 9 - Show a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night
haha I always thought Allentown was a reference to PA. Never heard of the art thing in Buffalo before. I really love this story and squee every time its updated. Everything about this is kick ass. Seriously.
Author's Response: Sharipep, I figured most people would assume the Allentown in this story was Allentown, PA. Now, I've never been to Allentown, PA, so I can't really compare, but I can assure you that the art festival is pretty great. Glad you're still squeeing over this and thanks so much for the review!
Date: December 17, 2007 07:36 am Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
WOOT! I'm finally caught up now! :)
Sweetpea, this is an amazing story. In fact, "amazing" seems like such a lame word to use in describing it. I think there needs to be some sort of mutli-sensory thesaurus that can more accurately convey in words and sights and smells and sounds and feelings just how great this is. :)
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Mose, thank God Catholic school permanently damaged my ego or else these reviews would have swelled my head to massive proportions. You've been too kind and I appreciate it so much.
The next chapter is giving me fits, but usually when that happens, I get a bit of an epiphery, so I'm trying not to force it and let it come naturally. And that's the biggest TWSS setup you're ever going to get from me. :-D
Another virtual smooch and a hug for you for being so great. Mrs. Mose is one lucky woman.
10 [Report This]Date: December 17, 2007 07:23 am Title: Chapter 7 - Maybe Better Dreams and Plenty
One of my favorite bumper stickers I've seen reads "Visualize Whirled Peas." :P
Ah, NOW the title of your story makes sense! See, I was thinking of the Billy Joel song of the same name, and trying to think why you chose a song about a town that is failing financially, and wondering what it had to do with Jim and Pam. :P
But I'm with you now. And your Allentown is WAY better than the images I was trying to conjure up in my mind. :)
Fantastic chapter! I've so enjoyed this! I'm sad that there's only one more chapter to go, but at least I'll be caught up, right? :)
Author's Response:
One of my favorite bumper stickers I've seen reads "Visualize Whirled Peas." :P
First chuckle of the day! Thank you!
I never even thought of the Billy Joel song, but I figured lots of folks would think Allentown, Pennsylvania figured in here somehow! Allentown (the art festival) is a really wonderful experience and I can't wait to plunk Jim and Pam right down in the middle of it.
Winding this all up is going to be an even bigger challenge, I think, than getting the story this far. But then I read the first chapter of your new story and I thought, "Huh, you think you've got a challenge? Look at what Mose has in store for himself!" Way to give me some perspective! And thank you again for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 17, 2007 07:12 am Title: Chapter 6 - What a Wonderful World
This chapter made my heart ache just a little bit...but in a good way. Again, you continue to astound me with the clarity with which you write. It's like you've got the only copy of that "secret other documentary" I mentioned a few reviews back, and you're just transcribing what you're seeing. It's that vivid, and it feels that real. (I know I keep saying that, but it's true!)
I love stories that gives us little glimpses into Jim and Pam's pasts. Little things like young Jim trying to play the trumpet and failing miserably at it--although I have to say I always picture him playing saxophone like I did, but I digress--or even the peek into Jim's Mom's past with her own artistic crisis.
On to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I think the saxophone is too cool of an instrument for The Adorkable One to play! So, there you go, Mose. You're cooler than Jim Halpert!
I can't tell you how great it is to read that this feels real for you! There are writers here who can write a sense of realism with very few words or with just a few details and do it so beautifully, but I am not one of those writers. I struggle with writing too many details and being too windy, and I know I've crossed the line maybe more than a few times in this story. I'm rewriting right up to the second before I post and then I almost always have a sense of "writer's remorse." I nearly always want to call timeout and take it back and work on it some more.
Anyway...I digress, too. See? Again with the windy, so I'll just say thank you so much for your wonderfully kind and generous comments.
Date: December 17, 2007 06:58 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes
Okay, Sweetpea, I'm back to finish reading this wonderful story!
This chapter was surprisingly tender, considering it was a Jim-centric chapter. So many great moments here, from the wonderfully hot little glimpse into how much Jim likes to hear Pam call his name (yowza!), to the interaction between Jim and Pam and Jim's parents.
Again, your talent for keeping the feel and tone of this story so real just keeps shining through here. And perhaps it's resonating with me because of how many similarities I'm seeing with my own life. My dad "fell in love" with Mrs. Mose the instant he saw her, and he treats her EXACTLY how Jim's dad treats Pam. :)
And I really love the advice and perspective that Jim's dad is able to share. This is a really complicated problem that Jim and Pam are dealing with, and it's nice they have people in their lives to help them out.
Great chapter!
Author's Response:
I can't think of anything better than walking through this story with you chapter by chapter. Thank you so much for doing this.
I loved writing the conversation between Jim and his parents. My family was definitely a "kitchen table" family and it almost made me feel like I was sitting with my folks again, chatting, and getting advice. It's so nice to read about your Dad and Mrs. Mose...how wonderful for all of you they have that kind of relationship.
Jim making Pam call his name...totally selfish paragraph, so I'm thrilled it, um, works from the male perspective, too. I think that little interlude helped to set the mood for how unaware those kinds of frantic calls can catch you and yank you into attention. But, who am I kidding? It was a little gratuitous and I am totally fine with that. :-)
Reading these reviews is not only boosting my confidence (thank you for that) it's giving me a break from Chapter 9 which seems to want to tie me up in knots. This is easier and way, way more fun!
10 [Report This]Date: December 16, 2007 04:42 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Simply gorgeous, Sweetpea.
Author's Response: Aw, Nan, thank you so much. I hope you're well. Can I send some virtual Christmas cookies your way? Mint chocolate chip ice cream cake? Bottle of vodka? Okay, I'll stop. Just a virtual hug and a thank you.
Date: December 16, 2007 03:17 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Are you kidding me Sweepea! <andy> This is AMAZING. I didn't think you could top the last chapter for me, but you've gone and done it. Every bit of history you've created here is SO beautifully fleshed out. I feel like I have a better feel for who Jim is, based on who his parents are. And gosh what a nuturing environment for Pam to have been welcomed into. This story is like a good, warm, winter sweater...without the cheesy sequins and fur. Thank you!
Author's Response: No sequins and fur and no puffy teddy bears or snowmen either! Always such a treat to get some love from you and I can't tell you how glad I am that you're enjoying the history. I've enjoyed creating that more than I ever thought I would. It's made me very nostalgic and when I called a friend back home to verify a detail for the story, she got all excited and said, "Are you coming home for Allentown?" And, yeah, I think I am. Thank you so much for always being so encouraging and enthusiastic. :-*
Date: December 16, 2007 08:52 am Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret
Oh, Pam...
Is it wrong that I sorta want to hug her and tell her it'll be okay? (Was that the most dorky thing I've written all day? Answer: Yes.)
I like that Pam made a new friend here, and I like that she's able to confide in someone else for a change. Jim and Pam need more "regular" friends, not just the inmates at the Dunder Mifflin Asylum for the Clinically Insane where they work. :)
I'll tell you the scene that really hit me this time was Pam's talking sketch book, making snarky remarks to her as she leafed through it. I'm pretty sure it was made by the same company that made my computer, because it does the same thing to me when I look back at some of the older things I've written. :)
Another fabulous chapter! I'd love to finish reading the rest right now, but I really DO have some stuff I need to accomplish right now. But I promise to come back and finish reading and reviewing soon!
Author's Response:
Not the dorkiest at all, but definitely the sweetest. Jim and Pam do need some real friends outside the asylum (love that) and even though Kellie is a patient there, she seems pretty normal. And we must have the same computer, Mose, because I do that while I'm writing!
This was so kind of you to do and I can't thank you enough.
Date: December 16, 2007 08:37 am Title: Chapter 3 - Goodnight, You Moonlight Ladies
*click*
See? Just like that, you're on my favorite authors list. :)
This chapter was all sorts of wonderful, and not just because Mrs. Mose and I have had conversations eerily similar to the one Jim and Pam had here. This was just so... real. Pam's absolutely right about Jim--he does have blinders on when it comes to her. He does believe that she can do anything. It's both a fault and a strength of his. (Hey, would Pam rather that he not think she can do anything?)
But the genius of this chapter is that you were able to take that conversation and keep it in the realm of reality. Because in my mind, it's much more realistic for Pam to take a break right now. She's got some valid concerns to deal with, and it's okay if she knows that she can't do it all. (Here's a hint, Pam: nobody can do it all.)
Okay, I know I'm talking about this story as though it's totally non-fiction. That's my own problem. :P Well, it's also partly yours for writing it so convincingly! ;)
Author's Response:
EEE! How cool is this? I'm going to float around all day after reading this and thank you so much for reviewing each chapter! Good grief, I feel like Pam unwrapping her ornaments!
I never really understood how having complete and utter faith in someone could be a negative thing for them until an ex told me that it felt like pressure. Please to note the use of the word "ex" in the last sentence. You're so right about this being a fault and a strength of Jim's. And Pam definitely loves him for believing in her...but she's making a baby right now and she's a little overwhelmed!
I'm so pleased you thought the conversation seemed real. I kept switching between my tie and my cardigan to think about how they would react to each other. You talking about this like it's non-fiction? Best. Thing. Ever.
You made my whole weekend, here. Would Mrs. Mose be mad if I gave you a virtual smooch? Okay, good. :-*
Date: December 16, 2007 08:23 am Title: Chapter 2 - Mrs. Halpert Goes to College
Remember what I said in your last chapter about Glasses!Pam being the most adorable? It's still true, but wow... this portrait you've painted of her here is every bit as detailed and amazing!
I'm serious--this may be the most realistic portrayal of Pam's inner workings I've ever read. The conflicting emotions; the hormone-and-stress-of-life highs and lows; the frustration of artistic block... just, wow. :)
How in the world am I supposed to get anything else done today until I've finished reading this entire thing now? Thanks a lot. :P
Author's Response:
Yeah? Well I was closing down the laptop before I ran out the door to get some errands done and NOW look what I'm doing!
You've left me nearly speechless here and that's not easy to do. I got the idea for this story and made notes on the major plot points, so Pam was always going to be the focus of this story...but then I realized (I'm a little slow, okay?) that I was going to have to actually write about Pam! And first-person Pam, too! What the hell was I thinking? Jim is so easy (TWSS) for me, but Pam? There was a lot of sitting with my hands on the home row, staring out the window thinking, what would she be thinking? How would she feel about that? Yeah, a lot of that.
I love her conflict at the end of this chapter. I think she really wishes for a moment that she could forget all the art stuff and just completely immerse herself in her life with Jim and not want anything more than that. I went back to school full-time to finish my degree when I was 38 and I tended bar at night. I so understand this part of her.
I can't say a big enough thank you for this review.
Date: December 16, 2007 08:15 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beesly Guide to Trimming Your Tree
Sorry I'm arriving so late to the party! I've been so busy lately that I haven't had a lot of time to read much of anything.
Also, I'm not really sure how this story has managed to go on for so long without me really noticing! That's my bad for not being very observant.
That being said, I loved this first chapter! ChristmasDork!Pam might just be my new favorite Pams of all the Pams. Seriously, I'm a HUGE Christmas dork myself, but Pam in this chapter puts me to shame! (Even if Johnny Mathis is on the radio right now. That's just a coincidence, I swear!)
You have such a flair for their dialogue and banter! It's just a treat to read. It's as though we're watching a brand new "secret" documentary of their post-show lives.
And I'll add my own voice to the chorus of those who are applauding the copious use of the term "mucous plug." As disgusting as that sounds (Yeah, I'm a guy...what of it?), it nonetheless cracked me up. :)
Oh, one last thing: Pam with little glasses halfway down her nose? Yeah. Might just be the cutest image yet. :)
Author's Response:
Mose! Come on in! Care for a Cosmo? Beer? Scotch and Splenda? You've already got the Johnny Mathis going on and is there anything better than hearing, "It's a marsmallow world in the winter..." No, no there isn't. Just one thing: never, ever use the word "copious" and "mucous" in the same sentence again. :-D Sounds like the dorky, mouth-breathing gladiator...Copious Mucous. Anyway...
Christmas!Dork Pam is a doll, isn't she? I loved writing her and Jim's reactions to her so much. Your comment about this being a secret doc of their future - wow! That's a huge compliment. Writing the banter, it's seriously addictive. I love doing it so much.
I've always thought that either Jim or Pam (or maybe both) is a contact-wearer. Personally, I have a serious desire to see Jim in glasses, but Pam's pretty darned cute in them, too. Appropriately dorky and darling, I'm sure.
What fun this was to read! Thank you so, so much!!
Date: December 16, 2007 06:11 am Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Finally had a chance to read this chapter...loving Jim's parents' history for several reasons. First, it gives provenance to Jim's intuitive, immediate sense of connection to Pam. Second, it's a great, romantic story in itself. I love how Jim's dad so simply says, after just meeting his wife: 'I'm just totally in love with her...' If Jim's not available, I'll take Papa Halpert ;-)
It also resonated with me cause my father was a painter, and my parents were very politically active in the 60's/70's (my mom ran a McGovern headquarters, in fact)...so I feel like I know these characters, and you've portrayed them so well. Great details.
Oh, and Jim sitting on the floor, putting together a crib? Kill me now. ;-)
Author's Response:
Oh, Colette, this review was so wonderful to read. I love these parallels! It's almost a little eerie, but so fun for me to read. Papa Halpert...sigh. Such old-fashioned romance gets me every time and Jim has that air about him, I think. It had to come from somewhere! My folks were high school sweethearts and I always loved to hear my father talk about how crazy he was about my mother when they first met. My mother's father, he was a pretty stern and strict old man, straight from the old country and he did NOT make it easy on my dad at all! The hoops he jumped through to be with my mother!
And what IS it about handy!Jim that makes me go a little weak in the knees, too? Geez, smudge a little dirt on the boy, put a power tool in his hand and call 911, cause that would kill me dead. Thank you for being so kind. This has been such a big challenge for me...that vignette-stuff is looking pretty good right about now! ;-)
10 [Report This]Date: December 15, 2007 08:30 am Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Chapter after chapter is just so, so great. You put so much heart into this story, just incredible.
More please!! :)
Author's Response: PBS, thank you for all the encouragement! Writing this story has been a huge challenge and even when I'm not writing, I'm thinking about it almost all the time. More soon!
Date: December 14, 2007 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Maybe Pam should be an art teacher, too! Haha. Or just be inspired by the joy of creating. That was very sweet. And I've totally been to Santasiero's before. Yum. If I only knew then that I was at the restaurant where Jim's parents had their first date. I really liked Melinda and Steve's story, you can tell where Jim gets his charm from. I really can't wait for Jim and Pam to go to Allentown themselves!
Author's Response:
So weird! I can't believe you've been to Santasiero's! It's one of the first restaurants I remember my parents taking us kids to and when I was older I lived on Lafayette, so I'd walk down there a lot to have a glass of wine (in a jelly jar) and sit and listen to the old men at the bar. Such a great place. I can't wait for Jim and Pam to go there, too, but I'm taking my time with that chapter, so stay tuned! Thank you so much for the great review.
Date: December 14, 2007 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
beautiful story - I absolutely love that Pam is given an artistic storyline... It's wonderful that you pursued this venue for Pam! Thanks for the update! Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: contif, thank you so much for your encouragement with Pam's storyline here. I have not a single artistic bone in my body, but I've definitely experienced writer's block and had a long, long dry spell where I wrote nothing more than my grocery list. Pam (especially post-Roy, FNB) self-identifies as an artist, I think, and I can only imagine what it might feel like to lose that. Thank you for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 14, 2007 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
hey, i just wanted to tell you again how much i love this. your characterization of jim and pam is perfect and their interaction is adorable. it makes my day when i get an email that you've updated. please update again soon!
Author's Response: Sunday, this review made my day! Thank you so much. Next chapter? A lot going on in that one, so I'm taking my time with it, but I promise not to leave you hanging for too long. So stay tuned and I hope I see you here again, soon!
Date: December 14, 2007 07:12 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Just One Look at Her Face is Good Enough for Me
Amazing chapter. I love how you jumped around in the timeline, but it made perfect sense.
Author's Response: lisahoo, I could have (and probably should have) made this two chapters instead of one. It's so crazy how I can spend so much time with a chapter and yet only see things after I post that I wish I'd done differently. Arrrghh!! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2007 09:29 am Title: Chapter 7 - Maybe Better Dreams and Plenty
thank you, Sweetpea. This story is soooo amazing. There are no words. I squeal every time I see its updated. :D
Author's Response: Yay for squealing! So happy to read this, Sharipep, and so glad you're enjoying!