Date: January 22, 2008 09:25 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
I don't know why the chapter hated you. It was very well done. The sexual tension you have created is terrific. And I really like that you have Pam figuring out her own life before she and Jim get together. I am looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, MA! Well, this chapter did go through *several* revisions. It took me forever to get to a point where I sort of liked it. Yeah, I think it might be fun to immediately hook up with Jim, but I don't think she would've become the person she needed to be that way. Thanks so much for the review, and I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!
10 [Report This]Date: January 22, 2008 09:20 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
That chapter was awesome. The last part in the lunch room was great. I was almost screeming at the screen "Kiss her!!! Kiss her!!!"
Author's Response: Ha, it's funny you say that, DunderSnob, because I kept thinking "Kiss him! Kiss him!" to Pam as I wrote this scene. But, all in due time. :) So glad you like it! Thanks for the review.
Date: January 22, 2008 08:52 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
"Thank you for worrying about my sexual needs."
LOL, this entire chapter was adorably awkward. Loved it! =)
Author's Response: Haha, thanks effayoffay. :) Yeah, I figure since they *never* used to talk about sex, there's a gold mine of potentially awkward conversational topics out there. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks so much for the review!
Date: January 22, 2008 07:32 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
Great Job! IMHO well written and excellent interaction between JAM. Look forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, batman! I love, love, love hearing that I did a good job on the interaction between the two of them. Working on the next chapter -- hopefully I'll get it posted soon. Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: January 22, 2008 06:51 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
teehee! she was ogling the hands! I LOVE THE HANDS!!! *drool* Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Aren't the hands amaaaaazing? Don't know *how* she resists that man. Thanks so much, Shari! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.
Date: January 22, 2008 06:50 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
P.S. Thirty, I just had to read this again--start to finish. Have I told you (lately) how much I love this story?! “'What? I’m not gonna lie, I do miss… you know.' He leans closer and lowers his voice to a murmur. 'Don’t you?' Apparently he’s feeling bold today." Wow, wow, wow! I'M feeling giddy. Hee hee!
Author's Response: Haha, Nan, I love you! *I* feel giddy after finally finishing that chapter, after all that angst. I think they've earned some light-heartedness. And innuendo. I sure feel like I have! Thanks so much for all your encouragement, and I'll try to get the next chapter out there soon!
Date: January 22, 2008 06:24 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
You had me at Mr. Buttrill. Ha!!
Then this: “No, come on. This is a good conversation.” He’s practically gleeful now. Love how he doesn't let her off the hook - pushes her a little. So funny, but also, sneakily sexy as hell. Almost may indeed be agonizing, but simply having this convo (especially him getting her to acknowledge she's feeling it too) is as charged a sexual connection as if they were actually touching. All the more potent for being tacit, in fact. Great character voices too, totally believable. I think you've made us all 'feel it.' Well done.
Author's Response:
Ha! Truth time: Mrs. Buttrill was actually the name of my 3rd grade teacher. Why it came to me when writing fanfiction will forever remain a mystery, I guess....
So glad you liked the way he pushed her on it, Colette, because I tinkered with that scene for quite awhile. It doesn't quite feel real to me when Saint Jim is eternally patient with Pam while she's figuring herself out, with no frustration or impatience on his part. But at the same time, I don't really see him saying "really? Let me just whip out my little black book, then. Thanks Pam!" So I wanted to strike a balance somewhere in between that felt believable.
And I *love* hearing that I have the character voices down. Thanks so much, Colette!
Date: January 22, 2008 05:58 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
Thanks to thirtypercent (and Sweetpea), NanReg starts the day with a big grin and a squeel! Boy that lunch conversation was fun! I hope you can update soon, thirty, because I don't want to lose the flow!
Author's Response: Hee, thanks Nan! I'm working on it. I don't know how some people churn out chapters so quickly. I guess I'm just slow. But I'm trying! :)
Date: January 22, 2008 03:22 am Title: I can make your heart beat short
Hahahaha! Three things:
1. I'm so glad you used Pam's painting (well, a variation thereof, anyway). I've always felt a little gipped that we didn't get to see just what Jim thought about it.
2. "You know..." thirtypercent's yada yada yada. For the record, I cannot WAIT until they you know! Pam misses it, Jim misses it...they should be *not* missing it together.
3. Pam has a thing for citrus. 'Nuff said. Hell, I'd like a corndog covered in chocolate if it was in Jim Halpert's hands. Oops..was that a Fruedian slip?
Great stuff, thirtypercent! I just love this!
Author's Response:
Thank you Catie! Yeah, I always assumed Pam's painting was meaningful, and if she and Jim had been getting along I thought she would have made it even a little more obvious.
Ok, *I* can't wait until they 'you know.' I'll be writing these scenes and thinking to myself "Just kiss him already!" ...which probably makes me strange. But, there's a way I want to have it done, so....
And re: #3 -- ha! You and me both. Thanks so much for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2008 01:19 am Title: I won't rest while you break my will
Hey some responses to your response:
I think your Jim is good, especially for the time period in which this story is set. The real problem I have with a lot of writer's portrayal of that character is that they tend to emasculate him heavily - he turns into this boy who does anything for Pam and frankly that annoys the hell out of me.
As far as guys and fanfic, I don't think I'm personally that far from an average guy and I like it a lot. Obviously I'm a "romantic" so to speak but so are a lot of guys. Eventually most guys get tired of the "bang as many chicks as you can" scene and go for more of the "bang one chick as much as you can" thing. Heh.. Part of the problem is that "fluff" is in essence a chick creation and personally I can't read it or enjoy it at all for the most part, so it would probably drive away a lot of guys who really enjoy a good plot driven story.
Author's Response: Hey Jimpong, thanks a lot for the comments.
Yeah, I think we're on the same page. I'm around guys all the time (software developer!), have brothers, male friends, etc. If there's one thing I've decided, it's that men and women aren't actually all that different in a lot of the ways that matter. I know people of both genders on either end of the romantic spectrum, and in my opinion, the average guy and the average girl have more in common than many people think.
I agree; the emasculated Jim characterization drives me nuts. It shortchanges the character, the story, and negates the entire reason I like the show to begin with. Yes, Jim is awfully wrapped up in Pam, but he still has his own personality outside of her. And he would do quite a bit for her, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own desires, or wouldn't be hurt to get nothing in return, or it could go on indefinitely. I also hate the "Jim rescues Pam" phenomenon -- sure, he can help her in a lot of ways, but when all is said and done she has to rescue herself. That's kind of the theme of 'Shift.' Writing Jim's reaction to this is tricky, and I've been putting a lot of thought and effort into trying to do it right.
Lastly: Ha! I'm a fan of your relationship outlook. That's pretty much my philosophy. Except, you know, with a guy. Anyway. Thanks again for the feedback. I really appreciate it!
8 [Report This]Date: January 14, 2008 09:11 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Aaaagh, I was so happy we were getting close to the good part and then Roy has to show up and ruin it all. He must have been "chartreuse" with envy!
Author's Response: Ha. My knee has been slapped. :) I know, I know. Roy, such a buzzkill. But hey, they've come a long way. And they have plenty of positive progress yet to be made. Just sayin'....
Date: January 14, 2008 12:43 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Jim DID get a little ballsy there.... Slow your roll, Halpert, don't lose her! Wow, am I at a movie theater, yelling at the screen? What's come over me? LOL.... a really good story, that's what! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Haha. Is it weird that I was yelling at Pam in this scene, and I was the one writing it? I mean, you know what you want them to do, but it's not easy, and they have to get there in their own way. I figure, Jim's been holding back a lot of what he wants to say for years, and it's bound to slip out eventually. Oh, human foibles. Thanks, kgreene! I'm working on chapter 5....
Date: January 14, 2008 12:29 pm Title: Sometimes everything is wrong
Yowch. I'm hurting reading this... but, boy, is it good!
Author's Response: Oh, believe me, it hurt to write. Whew. That may be the angstiest I ever get. But i'm so glad you thought it worked. Thanks, kgreene!
Date: January 13, 2008 10:38 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh I loved this! I love the OPEN flirtation they've got going here. "Tall" "A Sweet Tooth" and the doodle of clown Jim next to the perfectly proportioned Yaris -- brilliance. Even though Roy showed and killed my buzz....it's ok. It's really...ok. <Pam>
Author's Response: Hee. I know, unveiled flirtation! Gotta say, it's much more fun to write than superangst. And I love to picture Pam all excited about her new car, cause you know that must've been a big deal for her. Bah, Roy. Speedbump on the highway of love, that's all I gotta say. Thanks, LoveFool!
Date: January 13, 2008 04:46 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Awesome story!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Madison! Glad you like it. Thanks for the review! :)
Date: January 13, 2008 05:20 am Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Another captivating chapter. I love the gradual two step forward, one step back pacing - very natural. These things are rarely linear, are they? (Especially with these two.) Jim's gleaning affirmation from small gestures is spot-on too - the way her drawing (laughing just imagining it) meant hope to him - was pure Jim (read: melted my heart). Also just before he impulsively hugs her - when she leaned her face against his bicep, hand on his shoulder, as he read the screen - so subtle, but you could feel how charged it was. And their virgin-flirting was lovely and adorable - understated and very in character.
Okay, may I gloat now cause I knew what the colors were? (All those years of painting class finally paid off, Mom!) Apropos, here's a little factoid: did you know Chartreuse is also a liquer? Wretched stuff. But, I digress...loving this, thirtypercent. Want more. And more. (I'm a greedy gloater ;-)
Author's Response:
Colette, I love your reviews! I *did* know that Chartreuse was a liqueur, but only because I was looking up chartreuse for this story to make sure I had the color right. Some of these just do not fit for me. Cyan? 80s-esque blue? Really? Sounds like burnt sienna to me (yes, I had crayons as a child). Magenta, though. That's a good one. Entirely appropriate. ;)
Anyway. I'm so glad you think the pacing is natural -- the problem for me, whenever I read about the two of them getting together right after Casino Night, is that I find myself thinking "yeah, but...." I've always thought that when Pam dumped Roy, beyond deciding that he wasn't right for her (or Jim was), she also decided she wasn't happy with herself, and had a lot of changes to make.
Oh, the flirting. :) We know Jim can be pretty smooth (hello, purse girl), but something tells me that blatant flirting with Pam would totally throw him off his game. And we know Pam has no game to begin with (REM cycles?), so.... Glad you're liking it, Colette, and hopefully I'll have chapter 5 up soon! (A Michael scene is in progress. Wow. Michael is about as much fun to write as Kelly. It's like free association by a crazy person without filters.)
8 [Report This]Date: January 12, 2008 06:23 am Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
this is a *great* series. insightful, honest, adorable, funny... this is, i'm sure, exactly how it might have gone, had jim not went to stamford. what i think surprised me was how pam wasn't even speaking to jim, or their interactions were so stilted. what we saw in gay witch hunt, and other early s3 eps, is pam missing jim terribly - but if he'd been there, she probably wouldn't have been ready for those feelings... hence your fic! love it, love it. can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks Emily! As far as Jim/Pam's stilted interaction goes -- I realized I'm probably not making the timeline very clear here, but chapter 3 (the first office scene) took place in the aftermath of Pam's wedding cancellation that we never actually saw on the show (s2/s3 hiatus). Chapter 4 took place around the beginning of season 3, and by this time they had pretty much regained their season 2 relationship... but with more potential. Roy showing up put a little bit of a dent in their progress, but hey, these things aren't easy. :) Thanks for the comments!
Date: January 12, 2008 03:51 am Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Again, I'll tell you that the Kelly-speak is just perfect! I loved a little glimpse at macho!Jim, too. Look, if we didn't have those rambling conversations about plot and what a character might or might not do, I wouldn't have had anything to do this time! Besides, what Office freak doesn't like to geek out over every single bit of minutiae when she has the chance? Really great work!
Author's Response: Ha! So, last night I was at a friend/coworker's birthday party. A few of us who work together were complaining about HR, when someone at the table I didn't know asked "does anyone here watch The Office?" It wasn't until my friends (who know I'm a fan) started laughing at me that I realized my "YES." was about twelve times more emphatic than necessary. She seemed a little confused, but brought up Michael's hatred of Toby. Being able to geek out about minutiae = so much fun. Thanks Sweetpea!
10 [Report This]Date: January 11, 2008 10:10 pm Title: I won't rest while you break my will
This is completely freaking amazing.
Author's Response: Jimpong, you're awesome. Is it weird that I looked at your profile and noticed you're a dude? I fully support your foray into fanfic, because a) c'mon, it's great, even if you can't tell any real-life acquaintances about it, and b) you can provide a much-needed male point of view around here. I was sweating writing Jim's POV in this -- so glad you like it.
Date: January 11, 2008 09:23 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
I love this story a lot. And I wish that you could have it all finished now. That's how much I want to know what happens!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, jackbauer (love the name, by the way). Believe me, I'm working on it! Chapter 5 is in progress.
Date: January 11, 2008 09:00 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
Thirty! How happy am I to see an update to this?! Another one soon, please oh please? Love the tension with Roy! Go, Jim! Go, Jim!
Author's Response: Thanks Nan! Whew, I'm working on it, but this whole having a 'plot' business is hard work! Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Date: January 11, 2008 08:50 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
This is great. It's very realistic!
Author's Response: Thanks grammarfreak! I'm really striving for realism here, so I'm glad you think it works. Thanks for reviewing. :)
10 [Report This]Date: January 11, 2008 08:11 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
annnd old Pam rears her head once again. LOL. I love this story!!! great job with the characterization and imagery. i am looking forward to the next update! :)
Author's Response: Thanks Shari! Believe me, there have been some exhaustive conversations on characterization, so I'm glad you liked it. :) Chapter 5 is in progress, so, hopefully not too long!
Date: January 11, 2008 06:22 pm Title: I won't rest while you break my will
Yes, and also chamillion...which seems green in my head, even though I know they change colors.
Date: January 11, 2008 06:11 pm Title: Oh, you're changing your heart
I'm seriously diggin this. Also, bonus points because I, like Jim, had no idea what color vermillion was. He's right...it does sound like a green.
Author's Response:
Thanks Catie9! And, exactly! I chose those colors because I did in fact used to think that chartreuse was a purpley color, and vermillion green (maybe because it's reminiscent of 'verde'?), so, I'm glad I'm not the only one! :)