Date: June 11, 2008 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 1
Amazingly well done - a beautiful insight into Toby's character. Thank you for sharing this!
10 [Report This]Date: June 05, 2008 07:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
Steph I really really like this. I love the pace of it, and you can feel Toby's sadness and just...hopelessness at times. It's like he's sort of stumbling through trying to figure it all out and try to be happy somehow - or at least not unhappy. I think we can all relate to that at one time or another.
I really enjoyed this. Great job, and a refreshing change of pace.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: June 04, 2008 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 1
What a nice job, Miss Steph. I really like how you're able to write Toby; the most I can do for Toby is a couple of lines in a Talking Head.
It's very possible things would go just about like this with Toby after "Goodbye, Toby." I loved how you put the other characters in, especially Meredith and Kelly.
I'm going to favorite this so I can find it again.
Author's Response: Thank you. I feel like Toby's the one I can really write (I don't know why I can't be normal and just write Pam and Jim). And I love your talking heads. I'm going to get better at reviewing, but I've always loved your fics. And thank you again - so glad you liked it.
10 [Report This]Date: June 04, 2008 05:36 am Title: Chapter 1
Yay! I get so excited when I see you've written something new. You not only nail Toby's inner voice, but you nail everyone else's too. Creed! And Kelly! "Why are you at the loser table?" Just awesome.
I like that he went and it really wasn't what he expected. And he feels like he didn't really get to experience what he wanted to. I like that he came back for Sasha. It is so many of the little things in this that make it so, so good. Like the ex-wife complainign about Sasha's mumbling, 'she gets that from you'. and then the spelling bee! 'she gets that from you.'
That statement about the broken clock being right twice a day, is so ingeniously used. I would never have thought it would have relevance to Michael's statements, but it totally does and that makes it even more sad. Like that Michael has said so many means things about Toby that maybe one or two or them are bound to be right.
I like that he saw a couple of people from DunderMifflin. The tying in of the Costa Rica statement was so nicely done as well. Especially at the end.
Creed was just...awesome.
"Did I sell you pot?"
"We used to work together!"
"Didnt say we didnt!"
Man! Just! Awesome.
I like how you portray Jim as well. Just earnest and genuine and not malicious or resentful of Toby, he just kind of understands.
Toby and Kelly need to be canon. You make it so plausible and sweet.
Author's Response: Thank you so, so much. When I was coming up with ideas for the epic fic, the broken clock phrase just stuck in my head and i knew I had to use it. Thank you for saying that about Jim - I find him difficult to write. And I wanted to write Jim as knowing that he won and Toby lost and recognizing that Toby's obviously not doing well - so he could extend some much needed kindness even if his teasing to break the tension didn't go over too well.rnrnAnd Kelly and Toby. I love them (obviously). I wish they had gone that route so badly.
9 [Report This]Date: June 03, 2008 04:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was lovely! Your dialogue is so well-written, and I love how you fleshed out not only Toby, but also a little bit of Meredith. Oh, and Creed - Ha! My favorite thing is how you have Toby beating himself down, always interpreting everything in the worst possible light. It's so sad, but so real. I got here from the TWOP message boards, and I gotta say, I hope this isn't your last story!
Author's Response: Thank you. It's always fun writing Creed, especially as a break from writing Toby and depressing things happening. I think it may be my last fic just because I really love writing Toby and it might be hard with him not even being on the show anymore. But thank you for the encouragement.
Date: June 03, 2008 03:50 am Title: Chapter 1
This was so lovely. It's typical of Toby that he barely lasted a week, but I'm glad that the main reason for coming back was his daughter, because that was my big concern after the finale. Of course, the fact that he's Toby and everyone looks at him a certain way, of course he comes off as the pathetic guy who couldn't cut it in Costa Rica, and he doesn't have the motivation to say, "Actually, I just realized I had to be close to Sasha." And it's so realistic that he seems to be living in regret, more guilt and regret than is necessary for his actions, poor guy. But OMG Kelly/Toby in a closet, WOO! ;)
Author's Response: Thank you. I was concerned that they didn't mention his daughter either. And I ship Kelly and Toby. I don't know why, but I just do.
Date: June 02, 2008 10:56 am Title: Chapter 1
Ouch. Poor Toby. Although...not really. He definitely seems to bring it upon himself with, you know, everything that he chooses to be. Heh. I liked that he made out with Kelly in the closest. That seemed real. But it was also real that he'd ignore the signs that she was maybe interested in more than that.
This was an excellent piece.
Author's Response: Thank you. I agree that part of Toby's suffering is somewhat self-inflicted in a way. And glad you liked the Kelly scene. She's so fun to write.
Date: June 02, 2008 08:42 am Title: Chapter 1
I loved this!! Toby is one of my favorite characters - so beautifully written. Thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you. He's still one of my favorites too.
Date: June 02, 2008 08:37 am Title: Chapter 1
Steph, this was awesome. Such a great characterization, sympathetic and insightful. So many great details, like where Sasha gets her mumbling from. I loved this whole passage about his feelings for Pam and the whole disaster of getting a picture with her (to which I was NOT initially inclined to be sympathetic):
He didn’t have anything sinister or perverted planned when he begged her for a picture; he just wanted a picture of her. A picture of a beautiful woman who had once been nice to him.
As proof of something.
With nothing to do until the plane arrived, he studied the picture. He looked ridiculous, grinning like the fool that he was. She looked upset and uncomfortable.
Of course she did.
He scrutinized the expression on her face. He had forced her to take this picture with him after months of acting like an idiot around her. Of smiling stupidly and blushing and stammering in front of her, of saying and doing stupid things and walking around pissed at her boyfriend.
The separation from Sasha, awkward running into his ex-co-workers, Kelly in the closet (priceless) and finally the way he acted when he ran into Jim... "sorry, sorry, sorry..." and then Jim calling him to apologize because he's a nice guy, and understood... this was really well done, and great writing.
Author's Response: Thank you! I loved writing Kelly in the closet. And the Jim thing - what I wanted was for him to apologize because Jim is a nice guy, but also because Jim trying to break tension with some gentle teasing - didn't go over so well.
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 06:46 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, my. Beautiful and sad and still a tiny bit hopeful. You capture a sense of world-weariness that totally could turn someone just a little bit crazy. Love this. Wonderful work.
Author's Response: Thank you. Toby definitely has the world weary sadness thing going for him. I still, even after everything, feel very sorry for him.
10 [Report This]Date: June 02, 2008 06:05 am Title: Chapter 1
Steph, this was absolutely riveting. What a great story--heartbreaking and so well written. You have a knack at capturing voices. I loved the interactions between Toby and his former co-workers. Loved him and Kelly--nice to have that little bright spot in the exceptionally good angst ; ) Also loved this little description: Jim grinned at him. “Great. The place we found for the wedding is really nice. It’s this little hotel, but sort of retro and fun. Not stuffy or anything. And there’s a garden in the back - just beautiful.” I actually enjoyed the fact that, while very much present in spirit, Pam and Jim weren't the main focal point of the story. Despite that, you managed to convey how happy they seem to be. Wonderful job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.