1 [Report This]Date: November 20, 2018 05:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, I love these stories of revelation in the normal events of life. Wonderful parallel to her love being built on youth and a time when she felt young and carefree. Really beautifully done.
9 [Report This]Date: September 19, 2006 01:09 am Title: Chapter 1
This is beautiful, unfold. Pam and Roy's time together at the lake is golden, sun-kissed, like a snapshot from the 70s. Corny description on my part? I guess, but you know what I mean. It was lovely when they had it good, but life is more than summer.
The image of Roy looking back to her on the jet ski is so vivid, especially. Plays like a memory.
Gorgeous.
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2006 06:13 pm Title: Chapter 1
Amazing, as always. This was so evocative and full of real feeling. I think you perfectly captured what Pam must be feeling--she does love Roy, he's just not quite right any more. Love the way you built this up to show her realizatioin, particularly the part where she imagines Jim with her at the lake. Gorgeous.
Date: September 17, 2006 11:46 am Title: Chapter 1
You're simply amazing. And I love this. It fits so perfectly because it rings so true.
It's not that she doesn't love Roy - it's just that he's not the right one anymore.
Awesome.
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2006 08:22 am Title: Chapter 1
Beautiful!! You're such a good writer.
Date: September 17, 2006 08:19 am Title: Chapter 1
The slap of the water against the boat becomes her soundtrack for falling out of love.
I know someone already said it but that line really killed me. This was beautiful, and it was really nice to get a glimpse of her life with Roy. So often that relationship is painted as being very one-sided with Pam more in love with Roy than he is with her. This story did a really good job of showing that they both love each other. Being comfortable just isn't enough for Pam anymore.
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2006 04:22 am Title: Chapter 1
Really glad you decided to post this. Of course, I don't know what's in your head, but it feels very complete as a story to me. Really beautiful, in fact. The idea that she does love Roy, but not the way she did as a girl - and that Jim is what she needs now, is spot on. (The part where she imagines Jim at the lake with her - so evocative)
9 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2006 03:17 am Title: Chapter 1
Yeah, that's a way I could definitely see it happening. *crosses fingers*
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2006 12:00 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I really like the ambience of this piece. You can really feel the mood, and I think it goes a long way towards putting Pam's reluctance (so far, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed) to leave Roy. I really, really like: The slap of the water against the boat becomes her soundtrack for falling out of love. I think there's a very universal poignance there.
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 08:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was beautiful. Simply, just...gorgeous. It fits.
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 08:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm so glad you posted this. The familiarity of the beginning makes me understand why she stays, but the potential exciting newness of Jim indicates why she would go.
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 08:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
It doesn't feel like anything is missing to me. This has amazing details, spot-on characterization, and an authentic melancholy that reflects the whimper that the Pam/Roy relationship ends with. It's tightly crafted from begining to end, and it almost made me cry. So, yay!
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Man, I loved everything about this. There are so many great things that you did here. Like with the aloe, before you even mentioned Jim at all and she imagines Roy teasing her in a way that just screams Jim. So lovely, the way that she was wishing for him unconsciously, before she was actively thinking about him. Also, how you painted the comfort in Roy, the normalcy, and how she yearned for it to be new again. I really felt the ache of wanting more, instead of staying stagnant. So amazing.
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 07:40 pm Title: Chapter 1
What a beautiful and touching story. And this line was so perfect - "The slap of the water against the boat becomes her soundtrack for falling out of love."
10 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 07:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love, love sympathetic/realistic Royfic, and this is a terrific example of it. I really believe Pam loves Roy, and this beautifully shows not only how she loves him, but how it isn't enough.
9 [Report This]Date: September 16, 2006 07:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
I can only say that it works for me. I like that you brought in what she liked about Roy, but how it just wasn't really working anymore. I'm convinced Roy and Pam have their moments of happiness together, but they don't seem to outweigh the moments of unhappiness anymore, especially in the light of Pam's relationship with Jim.