1 [Report This]Date: December 10, 2023 08:32 am Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
A very entertaining story. Good plot, nice tension. The only advice I would give is keeping the tenses consistent and correcting dialogue punctuation. An enjoyable climax (pun not intended) during the great Season 2 era of 'The Office'!
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2018 06:43 am Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
That was amazing even though I'm about a decade late.
1 [Report This]Date: June 11, 2018 09:49 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
This story will always be one of my favorites. I really do wish that epilogue had been posted though, I just know it would have been amazing!
Date: April 10, 2010 04:32 pm Title: why do you do this to me?
One word: LOVE!
Date: December 19, 2008 06:11 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
I adored this piece! I especially like the title chapter names because myself am a huge Maroon 5 fan and it was great to see some of there lyrics incorporated into the piece.
Date: October 19, 2008 10:59 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
Epilogue? Soon? Please?
10 [Report This]Date: September 18, 2008 12:42 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
Wow. Just... wow. What a phenomenal story. You absolutely had to do the smut chapter. Nothing about it seemed gratuitous, but rather a natural extension of the story. I hope you'll do more, even if its just a HEFTY epilogue. The show refuses to show us Pam saying "I love you" so all fanfic writers must make up for their cruelty. :) Just wonderful, thank you so much!
Date: September 17, 2008 06:03 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
kells - I love what you did here and how - I don't know -quiet it is.
Sure it's smutty - but not at all sleazy or crude. My favorite variety. Wonderful job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, xoxoxo. I'm glad it came across this way to you. Quiet and...simple - is pretty much what I've been trying to go for, since really, Jim and Pam are kind of like that themselves. Thank you for the kind words :)
Date: September 17, 2008 04:56 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
There is absolutely nothing wrong with smut for smut's sake! Phew!
Author's Response: lol. You're right. Smut is good. Very good. [/jim]
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2008 03:19 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
yay! I've been waiting for this to be updated, but know how sometimes life gets in the way so I didn't want to nag. But it was worth waiting for - definitely!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks, Mox. You're a busy girl yourself, so you feel my pain. Thanks for the patience, and of course for taking the time to read and review. I really appreciate it.
9 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2008 12:24 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
Smut is the payoff for the long journey, kells. No excuses necessary.
This was just great: They bump heads as they both lean down for her purse, and they laugh and rub their heads simultaneously. It’s in this second that she realizes they are the same people they’ve always been, and she’s relieved to know that feeling each other up outside of her apartment door hasn’t stripped them of the ability to laugh with one another.
Nice job, lady.
Author's Response:
Thanks, NanReg. And although I try not to pat myself on the back - I liked that part too. I think that Pam was always a little afraid that a relationship with Jim would = no friendship, so I felt it important to point this out to kind of explain why she might have held back for so long (besides, you know, the oaf of a fiancee.).
Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Date: September 17, 2008 12:23 pm Title: from the moment the lights went off, everything had changed
Nothing wrong with some steamy Jam. Heck, we've waited as long as they have for it!
And I'd say that as long as you mark your story appropriately (and don't just throw something out there and then promise smut to get people to read), then you're using the system correctly.
Author's Response: Thanks for making me feel better, lisahoo. And yes the bait and switch is a cruel, cruel thing. You don't promise smut and not deliver. Not cool.
Date: September 17, 2008 07:20 am Title: I know I can't be close, but I'll try my best to reach you
Well, I'm glad to see you were able to pummel this chapter into submission! This is so sweet and feels very real. I liked this whole paragraph but particularly this line:
He shrugs, not sure how to keep the balance between telling her how much he loves her and something more simple like how pretty she is or how much fun he has with her.
That's the essence of them, right there. Nice work :)
Author's Response: Hi callisto! Thank you so much for the kind words!
10 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2008 06:45 am Title: I know I can't be close, but I'll try my best to reach you
Don't you hate it when the chapter tries to kill you? I'm glad to see that you've emerged victorious - this is a fun story and I've been waiting for it to come back.
I love how you've written the characters (seeing Jim happy with his professional life is so strange, btw) and that little bit of steam at the end was a great way to start the day.
You also manage a nice balance between showing and telling, between what they're thinking and what they're doing. It's a difficult thing to do sometimes (esp. with Jim, in my opinion, as there tends to be a sizable gap between his thoughts and his actions), but it comes across very well here. Nicely done!
Author's Response: Yes, it drives me crazy when the chapter just turns on you like that ;) I know it's strange to see Jim happy professionally, and I wanted to emphasize it here because I really wanted them both to learn how to be happy apart before they were happy together. Sounds cheesy and very Dr. Phil-like, I know, but there it is. Thank you so much for the kind words - I love hearing from you - you are one of the authors on here that I truly admire. Thanks again, Talkative.
9 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2008 06:26 am Title: I know I can't be close, but I'll try my best to reach you
This kind of cliffhanger is really fun, especially when you promise a quick update! Love this paragraph: “I’m just really glad we’re here, you know?” He shrugs, not sure how to keep the balance between telling her how much he loves her and something more simple like how pretty she is or how much fun he has with her. He decides to split the difference, “I’m really happy when I’m with you. That’s all. And I miss you when we’re far apart so, this is nice.” Simple and perfect. Nice job, kells.
Author's Response: Thanks, NanReg!
Date: September 17, 2008 04:51 am Title: I know I can't be close, but I'll try my best to reach you
gah I hate cliffhangers - especially when they're so good! Lovely job, kells and you had nothing to worry about the chapters great! I love htat you can like feel the giddy excitement between them about being on the verge of something huge. It's so them and just awesome. Hope there's more soon!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, WBJ! I'm glad you liked it - thanks for taking the time to read and review :)
Date: August 18, 2008 09:03 pm Title: words that would mend the things that are broken
So, I just sat and read this entire story in one sitting and fell in love with it! I sure hope you update soon! PLEASE!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, hann. I'm so glad you enjoyed this so far. I just posted another chapter tonight (down the home stretch now) and I hope you like it. Thanks again for reading and reviewing :)
Date: August 18, 2008 02:37 pm Title: words that would mend the things that are broken
I love your story-can't wait to read the next chapter. I love how you write Jim and how he lets Pam take her time.
Author's Response: Hi SkeetShruting! Thanks for reading and reviewing. And yeah, that Jim Halpert is one patient guy. Gotta love that about him (oh, and everything else about him ;) ). Thanks again! I just posted another chapter tonight.
Date: August 14, 2008 09:57 pm Title: I lick my wounds but I can't ever see them getting better
Actually, I teach at a community college and it IS very realistic that she could have registered there so easily. So...points to you! I love the little sparkle of hope you left us with.
Author's Response: Strider - I am horrible - you left all of these kind reviews and I am just now responding. Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying this and I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review! Thanks again :)
Date: August 14, 2008 09:52 pm Title: you left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
Sigh...wonderful. I'm glad they're connecting. Even if I myself hate talking on the phone...
Date: August 14, 2008 09:47 pm Title: it hurts but it may be the only way
I love how you worked in the dialogue from Casino Night. Perfect!
9 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 09:40 pm Title: the distance between us makes it hard to stay
You really have Pam down, too. The way she backs off when something is upsetting her...that's very true to character. Good writing!
9 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 09:35 pm Title: it's so easy to see dysfunction between you and me
Sigh...I just really love Jim. I see exactly that kind of creeping boldness you're talking about--isn't he a brilliantly written character? You continue the brilliant writing inside his head, too, so great job.
8 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2008 09:31 pm Title: why do you do this to me?
I absolutely LOVE stories that seem to continue the episodes. It's like the camera follows them home after all! This is probably EXACTLY what was going on. Great insight and excellent characterization--because after all, he does leave for Stamofrd soon after this.
Date: August 11, 2008 05:01 pm Title: words that would mend the things that are broken
No, no! Don't say the end is in sight.
I like how you're pacing the building relationship, that your Pam is taking the lead and not just being a wuss.
I keep coming back to this segment ... I really like that Pam is noticing Jim' patience:
It occurs to her that he probably doesn’t know what to say to her right now. She shows up at his door, unannounced, over three weeks after she dumped her problems on him and kissed him on her aunt’s doorstep. She imagines that he has things that he wants to ask her, or things that he wants her to tell him, and his patience doesn’t go unnoticed …
Author's Response: Hi Vampiric Blood. Thanks for the kind review. I like it when Pam is a little more assertive. Sometimes I get tired of poor Jim having to do all the chasing, you know?