Date: November 05, 2008 04:59 pm Title: Epilogue B Time to Say Goodbye
Thanks for making me tear up! Sheesh!! :) This was great...I'll vote for the other ending though!
Author's Response: You're welcome, lol, that's kind of what I was hoping to do. Thanks for reading both and comparing, much appreciated!
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2008 03:47 pm Title: Epilogue B Time to Say Goodbye
I liked both chapters. Obviously preferred Epilogue A as nothing beats happy JAM. It's nice that they are still working together, even though it's not in DM
Epilogue B was very sad, but also well written. It was nice that Pam finished happy rather than depressed and full of regret or guilt.
Looking forward to more in the future!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and comparing, Noodles. I always liked the notion of Jim/Pam as a small business owners, so I got to work that into the story. rnI really wanted to leave Pam on a positive note in the second story. I'm glad you liked it.rnrnThanks again for taking the time to review!
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2008 02:46 pm Title: Epilogue B Time to Say Goodbye
You know I love it! Good job all around. I like this ending just as much as the happy one.
One typo in here. "...kissed Toy..." You might wanna edit and change that to Roy!
Looking forward to your next story when your life calms down.
Author's Response: *snort* Roy Toy. Wait, that's a different MA story. (I fixed it.) Again, thanks for your patience and your keen eye.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2008 02:33 pm Title: Epilogue A Time After Time (So Lucky)
jazzfan!!!!!! This is even BETTER than the last version you sent me! Peanut butter scene much improved, better discussion about Emily, and I hadn't even seen the smut before! When you asked me in your last email if it was too much, I kinda thought, "What is she talking about? There isn't any smut."
Excellent, excellent!
Author's Response: Dang, I thought I sent this version to you. Well, that explains your comment about not enough smut, anyway. LOL Thanks for all your help.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2008 10:56 am Title: Epilogue A Time After Time (So Lucky)
This is a wonderful story from start to finish. Of course I will take the 1st ending as the "real" ending, because happy JAM is all I really want in the end. But your second ending is very well written, believable, and heart breaking. I think with both endings (and with the whole story in general) you capture how fragile life is and how just the smallest twists of fate can change things. Great job!
Author's Response: "I think with both endings (and with the whole story in general) you capture how fragile life is and how just the smallest twists of fate can change things"rnrnThat comment pretty much made my day.rnrnThank you for reading and reviewing, and for giving the second ending a try as well. And yeah, happy JAM is the best Jam. rnrn rn
Date: October 14, 2008 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 11 Make Someone Happy
Aggh! Just...don't kill Jim in either of them, OK? You're downright reckless, swinging that danged gun around and stuffing Jim's lungs full of pneumonia. But this is the story that's the first one I seek out...so my hat is off to you, O dark genius.
-Mint
Author's Response: Wow, MintChocolateChip, since I'm a wannabe mystery/thriller writer, I'll have to say you've made my day. Um, genius, no, far from it, but many "thank you's" for the compliment.rnrnI suppose I do owe sweet Jim an apology for piling on his troubles in this story. I'll make up for it in Ending A, I promise.rnrnThanks for reading and reviewing.rn
Date: October 11, 2008 09:47 am Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
so i love this story...i love the concept and i think that your writing is beautiful!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks EMT1215, I'm very glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Date: October 10, 2008 07:53 pm Title: Chapter 11 Make Someone Happy
I haven't been reviewing lately, but I have been reading, this story is great, I'll read both of your endings, because I can't not...But I will probably convince myself that the happier version is the "real" ending.
Author's Response: Thanks iwantphillyjim! I appreciate the reading and your taking the time to review. rnrnJust so you know, the happy version is, of course, defnitely the "real" ending. (I am a sap at heart) But thanks for offering to take a chance on the other one, it's an ending I just wanted to try. I don't even mind if you throw garbage at me. rnrn
Date: October 09, 2008 05:49 pm Title: Chapter 11 Make Someone Happy
Great chapter. I loved how you approached the subject. Things don't look so good at the end. If you're going to make a real sad ending, make it a tear jerker.
Author's Response: Thanks a bunch MelBal for your comments, I really appreciate them.rnrnPssst. If you want a tear jerker, take a box of tissues and Ending B.
Date: October 09, 2008 02:31 pm Title: Chapter 11 Make Someone Happy
I'm pretty nervous about your comment that there will be two different endings...
Their conversation about the gun and Pam's discoveries was very believable and true to the characters.
I have to say, though, I'm shocked she went back to Scranton. I just can't believe she would leave while he was still in the hospital and she wasn't sure of his recovery, even with his mother coming.
I've really enjoyed this story, I'll be sorry to see it end!
Author's Response: I really appreciate your thoughts on this, jkfan9989.rnrnMy thinking was that Jim would insist she go back to Scranton, as he seems to be doing okay at this point. He sure doesn't want Pam sharing too much info with his mom, and it's not an ideal way for the girlfriend to meet the mom anyway. Jim's just thinking ahead. rnrn(BTW, Don't worry, the endings will be clearly marked, and maybe you'd prefer Ending A.)rnrnMany thanks for reading and reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2008 07:39 am Title: Chapter 1 - In the Wee Small Hours
Hmm two endings? I'm a little worried one will be tragic, since he doesn't seem to be getting much better healthwise....
I liked the way you dealt with it though, I thought maybe Jim would be too ashamed if he figured Pam found out about his attempted suicide, and may have thought she was only staying out of obligation so he doesn't hurt himself
Hope he gets better!
Author's Response: Thanks Noodles, for reading and reviewing. I went round and round about what reaction he would have and finally decided on this one. I think Pam has managed to convince him she's not just there out of obligation, but guess we'll see in the last chapter.rnrnThe last chapters will be clearly marked, so if you don't want to read anything edgy, you can avoid that one. I hope you'll be satisfied with at least one of them.rnrnThanks again for taking the time to review and letting me know what you liked/didn't like. It makes the writing process so much more fun.
10 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2008 07:24 am Title: Chapter 11 Make Someone Happy
Once again my pulse is racing, jazzfan. Your description of Pam talking to Jim and his silently listening was very touching. Its segue into her confronting him about his plans flowed so well. It was heartbreaking to read but beautifully written. Thanks for tossing in the TWSS for a little much-needed comic relief. Great job, as always.
Author's Response: Thanks NanReg, I couldn't resist at least one TWSS, and yeah, it needed a "little" relief, ya think? LOL I appreciate the review and the specific comments, it helps to know what works and what doesn't.rnrn
10 [Report This]Date: October 03, 2008 03:09 pm Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
that sounds great!This was great to!
Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement Iheartstanley. I'm working on this next chapter but it's turning out to be the hardest one I'll write, I think. Your review is much appreciated, and gave me a little nudge to try and get this next chapter finished.rnrn(Hey, OT but wasn't Stanley awesome in Weight Loss?)
9 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 02:46 pm Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
What a lovely ending to this chapter. I can't wait for the next one. This story is just so good...
Author's Response: Thanks for hanging in there on this one jkfan, I appreciate your continued kind reviews. rnrnI think Pam is going to get carried away with the whole talking thing, she does that sometimes. *grin*
Date: September 22, 2008 10:50 am Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
I really love this story,jazzfan. It's got such a quiet but intense emotion. The bit at the end where Jim just wants to hear her talk is so sweet and poignant. Looking forward to hearing them 'say a lot of things.' :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much callisto. Jim and Pam's relationship has always been so outwardly subdued I just thought histrionics wouldn't suit. Now if I can just write the "lot of things" right...rnrnI am very grateful for the review, better than Schrutebucks, it is.rnrn
Date: September 22, 2008 10:10 am Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
This story is amazing. I love the quiet feel it has. I am looking forward to them talking and saying things that need to be said.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks khand3stooges. I hope I can make the exchange believeable, and big thanks for the review.
10 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 09:03 am Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
This is just so dang good, jazzfan. So happy that Jim's feeling hopeful, and Pam's decision to just love him warms my heart.
Author's Response: Thanks NanReg, I do think things are looking up. I appreciate the encouragement big bunches worth.
10 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 08:39 am Title: Chapter 10 All the Way
WOW!!!
Definately worth the wait. This has to be your most enwrapping chapter yet. I felt like I was actually in the Hospital room.
Great Stuff!!
Author's Response: Thanks dmtip, I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing. rnrnHopefully you were "just visiting" in the hospital room. *grin*
Date: September 11, 2008 04:49 pm Title: Chapter 1 - In the Wee Small Hours
This is a wonderfully haunting story, one of my new favorites. I can’t wait to see how they work through this. Please don’t rush through this story. Although they are together now (or something like that) I’m looking forward to the angst that will follow--Jim’s recovery, Jim’s shame, Pam’s guilt, all of it. It’s going to be hard and sad , but knowing (fingers crossed) that they’ll get through this makes it such a compelling read. Your writing is vivid and descriptive. Love it.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much MelBal, I'm glad you're enjoying it. They both have a few issues to work through, 'tis true, but I think they're finally ready to head in a more positive direction. rnI'm very grateful for reviews and comments with reactions to the story. They make it much more fun to write.
Date: September 09, 2008 06:04 pm Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
Yep! Every revision gets better! I really like this chapter. Especially like the call back to The Job.
Jim may have moved here, but it didn’t look like he had ever really moved in...
Looking forward to the NEXT chapter. Will Pam take some jello to the hospital? What will Jim have to say for himself? Will Pam feed Dwight with Emily? The questions keep poppin up in my mind!
Author's Response: "Will Pam take some jello to the hospital?"rnrnAbsolutely, she will. LOL I'm thinking things will lighten up before long. rnrnSeriously, I appreciate all your help very much. I'm learning.rnrn[in my best "special Kevin" voice]Writing is fun.[/in my best "special Kevin" voice]rn
10 [Report This]Date: September 09, 2008 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
I'm on the edge of my seat!
Probably your best chapter yet, with a perfect portrayal of Pam.
Please update soon!!!
Author's Response: Thanks dmtip, I really appreciate that. As I mentioned somewhere below, I find Pam a lot harder to write than Jim, so I'm tickled you think I got her "right".rnrnThanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: September 09, 2008 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 1 - In the Wee Small Hours
Good, although I can't picture Jim buying a gun, but I am going to keep reading -)
Author's Response: Hi Hannah. I think you're in good company, because I don't think Pam pictured Jim buying a gun either. I hope you keep reading, I'd love to hear if you changed your mind, too.rnrnThanks for reading and reviewing! This story is a tad darker than a lot of the stories here, so I appreciate your giving it a try. rnrn
9 [Report This]Date: September 09, 2008 02:38 pm Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
Great job with this chapter. I was so excited to see you had updated!
I love how you have Pam thinking of various options of why Jim would have the gun, having "crazy" thoughts like the mafia, but never considering that he might be suicidal. And obviously, because she asked Steve about break-ins, she knew that she didn't have the truth yet.
Can't wait to see how she gets him to open up. I suspect poor Pam will have a very long, sleepless night...
Author's Response: I think you're right about poor Pam's evening. At some point I felt kind of guilty myself for putting Jim and Pam through this whole ordeal. LOL I think Pam had underestimated Jim's feelings for her, and it would be scary for her to realize she has that kind of "power". rnThanks for reading and reviewing, it makes writing so much more fun.
10 [Report This]Date: September 09, 2008 08:32 am Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
I was soooo happy to see an update for this story!!
Author's Response: Thanks DunderSnob, both for reading and taking the time to review. Much appreciated!
Date: September 09, 2008 07:52 am Title: Chapter 9 'Round Midnight
Please hurry and update. This was awesome! I am holding my breath...literally so you'll feel obligated to upate. I have wondered how she would put it together. It was fantastic!
Author's Response: Thanks Orfice Flan, I enjoyed letting Pam figure this out on her own. (she's a smart girl, afterall...LOL) I'm anxious to finish this and will do so as soon as I can get to it. rnThe feedback is awesome, it's very encouraging.