1 [Report This]Date: March 26, 2021 05:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like this injection of just the tiniest bit of doubt in their minds... feels very real. And the dialogue feels spot on, you did really well capturing their voices.
10 [Report This]Date: September 26, 2008 09:49 am Title: Chapter 1
beautifully written!!!
perfectly in-character, too!
Date: September 25, 2008 09:26 am Title: Chapter 1
(because can you REALLY call Andre champagne?)
Cheap college student says, "why yes, yes you can." and I drink it straight outta the bottle like a rockstar. don't hate. ;oP
This was great, their voices were perfect. amazing amazing job
7 [Report This]Date: September 24, 2008 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
My favorite line:
"As ever, hindsight was 20-20 and in the small hours of the morning when nothing crept into her pale yellow bedroom but the glow of the street lights and her own self doubt she pictured Jim at the back of the church, pain and hope and love and everything she ever wanted shining in his eyes."
Great job on the story - the phone conversation sounded just like them and was so cute.
8 [Report This]Date: September 24, 2008 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love their phone conversation. You got them spot on!
9 [Report This]Date: September 24, 2008 11:36 am Title: Chapter 1
I thought this was a really well written piece =) I'm terrible with like, helpful reviews, but I loved the dialog between Jim and Pam, and her thoughts in the first chunk. I hope you get more reviews because this was really sweet!
Date: September 24, 2008 10:32 am Title: Chapter 1
oh my gosh i love this. it made me squee. so happy :) it's the perfect prep for the season!!! great job!
Date: September 24, 2008 09:33 am Title: Chapter 1
I love that Jim is still so fearful, here. I think that is pretty realistic. Nice characterization!
8 [Report This]Date: September 24, 2008 08:24 am Title: Chapter 1
Very nice story. I really enjoyed it!