10 [Report This]Date: February 14, 2010 11:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh my god. that was so unexpected - but just lovely. jan and jim, huh? i kind of like that...
Date: July 14, 2008 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow... I have to admit that I thought the same thing was going to happen when I watched the show, and I didn't really like the idea at the time... but reading your version of events, I think it's a shame this coupling didn't happen!!! (well, maybe it did and we just never saw it...) Thanks for that -- refreshing, honest, damn sexy and hot hot hot!!! :D
Date: December 29, 2006 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow, wow, wow. very hott.
Date: November 20, 2006 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
this could be the hottest sex scene i've ever read. ever. and i've read a lot of sex scenes. there's just something about jim halpert saying "i'm going to fuck you" that makes me burst into flames. nice job. now i need a cold shower.
Date: October 31, 2006 06:39 am Title: Chapter 1
I am a total JAM fan, but I found this pairing to be entirely believeable, and not squicky -- especially with how you characterized Jim in this piece. I really like seeing him less feminized. "I've become a f***ing chick!" is something I'd love to hear him say! YES!
You've explored a new range of emotions with Jim that is refreshing (rage at Roy, anger at Pam, outright lust for in-control Jan).
And having them watch "Anchorman" just kills me!!
Hope to see more fic from you!
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 03:53 am Title: Chapter 1
I hit the submit button too soon...more comments.
He was making this Amazon come….She was falling limp against him….He was still a man, God damn it…
Again you show us Jim's wounded pride. Most excellent. Thank you.
“Honey, I don’t know who she is, but I’ll tell you something, she doesn’t know what she’s missing….”
WONDERFUL. I may fall in love with this woman myself.
I can’t watch it happen and I can’t stop it
Shit. I'm going to fucking STEAL this line. Perfect. Perfect.
that guy Champ looks just like Todd Packer,
Hysteria ensues....
The single critique I have is that the formatting of your conversation is unconventional and distracting. If this is a deliberate artistic choice I must disagree with it. I think it took away from the story.
Other than that, you are a goddess of smut and I bow to you. This was awesome. Thank you.
10 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2006 03:44 am Title: Chapter 1
BECAUSE I’VE BECOME A FUCKING CHICK!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for that line. I get so tired of the feminized Jim I see in so much fanfic. Thank you for making him a man.
Not that merely fighting with Roy makes him a man, but you showed us his anger--including his quite justifiable anger at Pam--and everything else he's kept bottled up inside. Women tend to turn anger into depression, so we see a lot of depressed and oversensitive Jims in these fanfics, but you are giving us a very believable man here--repressed, frustrated, angry, and sometimes letting the testosterone do the talking.
This guy might have that cute, boyish thing going for him, she thought, but, whoa, this was a whole different ballgame.
Yay JAN! YOU GO, GIRL! About time Jim was in the hands of a woman who knows what the fuck she is doing.
.Oh, God, how he needed to fuck right now….
Finally! Jim thinks like a man. Lovely. Sexy as hell.
The room door closed by itself behind them. He pinned her to the wall in the room’s entryway the instant she dropped her bag.
Oh, hell, this makes me just want to stand up and CHEER!!
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard these kinds of comments, but coming from Jan, Ms. Totally-in-Control, it was a monumental turn-on.
Oh wow. Is this actual...PRIDE...in Jim Halpert? You're a saint. Thank you.
He had been so silenced for so long. He didn’t even know if he knew how to give his thoughts and feelings voice any more.
Yes. Damn. Yes. Silenced for so long. Yes.
8 [Report This]Date: September 23, 2006 09:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow - that was hot!
Author's Response:
Thanks much...I've actually been feeling kind of oog-ey about it -- if you knew me, you'd know how weird this whole experience has been! I find myself asking myself, where is this coming from? Time to check out therapy!
10 [Report This]Date: September 23, 2006 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
Er, okay. The writing was solid, you had some great lines ("I'd be Alanis Morissetting this mother right now" is such a great Jim line), but there were some WTF? moments. You've got a great start, but the characterizations were a bit off, plus there were some grammar mistakes, and your paragraphs are kinda messed up.
My advice? Get a beta, go read some fanfiction here or at LJ or wherever. But don't quit, because you've got potential. :)
Date: September 23, 2006 08:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
Whoa, *Jan. Definitely no redemption for Jam, haha.
9 [Report This]Date: September 23, 2006 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I don't know how I reached the end of this with a smile on my face, but you definitely made it happen. Even though the sex was angsty and depressing in its own right, I felt like it held a little bit of redemption for Jim and Jam as well, which I haven't really seen in the other fics for this challenge. I like that they ended up feeling better after this rather than worse. Kind of cathartic.
Well done. I especially loved the whole pointing out that Jim lost focus of his masculinity and wanted it back. Very nice.
Author's Response: Whew....when I saw there were reviews, I actually got a little flushed and scared....But thank you SO MUCH for the feedback....It was totally inspired by the vibe the actors gave off in their Casino Night scene...I kind of felt like a "love the one you're with" for them probably wouldn't be half-bad....