10 [Report This]Date: February 15, 2009 09:59 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
"No question. No “would you mind?” No “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” But that’s someone else’s line anyway"
^^I love that! This is an AMAZING story. I really, really hope you post more fics soon. :)
Author's Response: Wow thank you so much! I'm glad you liked that line. I know it wasn't Jim's exact Casino Night line, but I didn't think "can I talk to you about something" would fit in this story. Glad you picked up on it anyway though :)
Date: October 12, 2008 12:06 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
I really enjoyed your story. The voice was very clear and authentic, very Pam. I hope we see more from you!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear someone say I've captured the characters' voice.
Date: October 09, 2008 02:32 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
Wow. Welcome and congrats on your first story, and boy was it a story. You wrote it so well I really felt like I was Pam. I hope to hear more from you soon :)
I love these lines:
No question. No “would you mind?” No “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” But that’s someone else’s line anyway.
&
made some kind of joke like “Pam, what did I tell you about watching Eight Legged Freaks, I kn--” until she opened the door and he stopped short and looked her up and down with a look on his face she couldn’t place. Couldn't place back then, at least.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! You're too kind. I was very nervous about posting this, and I can't tell you what a relief it is to be accepted! I love those lines too, by the way.
Date: October 09, 2008 10:23 am Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
Wow, well done. Normally I find song lyrics in fic to be distracting, but I liked the way you actually managed to make them work with the story, and the whole piece has a really nice feeling to it. I would look forward to reading more of your work if you ever felt so inclined...
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, pigeon! It wasn't too hard to make the song lyrics work with the story - they just fit this scenario I had in my head so well, it was pretty lucky! Thank you so much for your review, it really means a lot
9 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2008 07:00 am Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
So happy you surfaced with this story, nandance. I thoroughly enjoyed it. First, since I have a rather bizarre sense of humor, I found the recurring cockroach theme really amusing. I like how this commonplace element becomes part of Pam's epiphany.
...and shed that damn tear and kissed her like he already knew he'd never see her again. Referring to it as "that damn tear" is another thing that I found appealing, since its usual reference in a lot of fic is much more melodramatic and sometimes makes me squirm. I like your reference to the fact that he knows he's leaving even though she doesn't.
...until she opened the door and he stopped short and looked her up and down with a look on his face she couldn’t place. Couldn't place back then, at least. Love that image and realization, as well as this one: And oh, great, that feeling in her chest? It's now turned into a whisper in her ear, informing her that there is someone she likes to be with..."
He knows the story of the “cockroach night” (as she refers to the break-up)... That strikes me as just so Pam and Jim and conveys to me a level of comfort with the past. Perfect.
Great job and hoping your muse resurfaces again soon. Namaste :)
Author's Response:
Nanreg! First, you should know that even though we've never met I feel like I know you from reading your posts on the boards (I'm a lurker, sometimes poster under the name JAMonicity) and from reading your reviews, so I'm honored that you took the time to write such a nice review! Secondly, because of our similar usernames (and real names, I'm guessing!), I get mistaken for you all the time - a mistake I rarely correct, for reasons mentioned above :) I'm glad you thought the cockroach theme worked, I was unsure about it myself to be honest, but it's very much my own sense of humor too so I figured 'what the hell?' and put it in! I also agree about the tear: don't get me wrong, I love fics with emotional!Jim haha, but sometimes I feel like that tear gets too much credit, like it somehow made him the complete victim and Pam the aggressor and I wanted to address that. Anyway, it was nice to meet you and thank you for the review!
Date: October 09, 2008 05:03 am Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
This is really lovely, I can completely see Pam and Roy's breakup being like this. It's sort of sad but sort of beautiful too, this fic. I look forward to reading more of your stuff :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'd honestly never given much thought to the Pam/Roy breakup until I heard this song and it all just sort of came to me. Glad to hear you thought it was realistic. Thanks again!
10 [Report This]Date: October 08, 2008 11:48 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
this is great! VERY good work at putting lyrics in there :) I don't like it when people quote HUGE sections of songs, but this was really good.
Author's Response: Wow thank you so much, untherapy! Yeah I'm with you on the lyric thing. Never really thought my first fic would be one with lyrics, but this song just caught hold of me and I knew I had to write it. Glad to hear you thought I pulled it off, thanks so much!
Date: October 08, 2008 07:00 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
This is a wonderful story! Welcome to the writer's guild! I'll look forward to more from you.
(One tiny correction. The wedding fabric isn't "purple tool" ... it's "purple tulle.")
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, Vampiric Blood! I've been a fan of yours for a while (your fic "Gifts" is one of my favorites!), so I really appreciate you taking the time to review. Oh God you're exactly right *blushes...runs to edit*. Senioritis has apparently transfered from my english papers to my spelling abilities :( Thank you so much for pointing that out!
10 [Report This]Date: October 08, 2008 06:44 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
Very nice story, esp. for a first effort! I hope you'll write more, b/c this was very enjoyable. I'm not familiar with the song, but it sounds perfect for Roy/Pam.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, Desslok. I can't tell you how encouraging it is to read reviews like this - it definitely inspires me to create more pieces and try to stretch myself in terms of style and such. I myself just heard the song a couple of days ago for the first time on the radio. It's definitely a true "country" song (what with the drinking and all that!), but it's extremely bittersweet and I, like you, thought it fit Roy/Pam pretty well. If you ever do find the song on youtube or something, I recommend reading this fic with it in the background (makes the story way more emotional than I could:)
Date: October 08, 2008 05:43 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
Well, I should be doing a paper, but I thought reading this would be more enjoyable. And IT WAS. It so was. The "cockroach night" was beautiful in its sadness for Pam. Loved the description. This is a fantastic start. I look forward to more. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! What a kind review, I really really appreciate it. Unfortunately this story has always been a oneshot in my mind, so I don't think I'll be continuing it, but I hope to write more fics pretty regularly now. Thank you again!
Date: October 08, 2008 05:13 pm Title: It Ended With a Phone Call
I for one would welcome your stories here anytime. That was beautiful. Hope you have more.
Author's Response:
I can't tell you how much this comment means to me! Watching the story's "views" go up and seeing no reviews was disheartening for a while, and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you for your encouragement, you're too kind :)