10 [Report This]Date: February 04, 2009 10:42 am Title: Pronunciation
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
I know for a while I thought that Jim and Pam would just mesh so perfectly right away-- emotionally and physically ::cough, first date nookie, cough:: because I think that, yes I’m going there, because I think they are (fictional) soul mates. But the more that I’ve been thinking about this and through the interesting discussions that have been happening around these parts, the more I agree with your assessment that there would be a period of adjustment and awkwardness before they could truly mesh.
I love the mix of longing, nervousness, familiar teasing, and ease that you’ve managed to illustrate so vividly, yet subtly. For example, sigh:
He's standing in front of her now, so she lets her knees fall open. He steps between them. "I'm going to pretend I have no idea what you're talking about. More than anything, it was probably the virginity-related, um, incident on prom night."
Pam chuckles, looks away. "Did you rush out of her bedroom with her tie up your sleeve?"
"Something like that." He runs his hand down her arm and the moment lingers. His fingers graze the back of her hand before he laces them with hers.
I also adore the way you have them tell each other “I love you.” It’s so natural, sweet, simple, and very realistic. And I love that you have them address, honestly and openly, how they each tried to move on. I can’t leave a review and not point out my absolute favorite part which left me smiling and made my heart go thud: Jim turns onto his side, bringing their other legs into the tangle of limbs. "Honestly, I don't think this is a date."
"What do you think it is?"
He's playing with her hair and watching himself do it, the side of his arm indifferently brushing against her breast. Jim says nothing, but his eyes flick to hers anyway, seeking agreement.
Thud. I can’t wait to read the conclusion of your wonderful story.
Author's Response: Hi, WhataWaste... slowly picking through all of these lovely reviews. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment & comment so thoroughly (as you always do). Bless you for quoting "Did you rush out of her bedroom with her tie up your sleeve?" It's my absolute favorite line from this chapter. I struggled with the ending of this part, in that I wanted it to be a very simple moment - these are not high-drama people, after all - so I'm so pleased to hear that you think I succeeded. Again, thanks so much. I'm looking forward to hearing what you (all of you) think of the final chapter.
Date: February 04, 2009 10:20 am Title: Pronunciation
All right miss. So, the inspiration has not been with me. And I think reading this? Scared away any chance that it has of returning. That's meant kindly, so I hope you took it that way. :) (Also, LC's Bitch Session ends...now.)
The story's rated MA, so I assume we're getting to the hot and heavy at some point, but the way you craft even the smallest moments of physical contact between them is just as...breath-stealing. (NOT that I'm opposed to what actually gets a story an MA rating, understand!) You take that awkward dynamic and refine it into something so amazing to read, and yet the way you keep the sparks literally flying out of the monitor...yeah, this is damn good, my friend.
Jeez I hope this made sense. If not, this was LC's strange attempt at gushing and praise. Ta freaking da. ;)
Author's Response: Oh, no, no! Don't say that, LC! You're one of the best we've got - you don't get to not write. The hot/heavy is up next, but, really? I'm aiming for a sort of zen smut - smut without being smut; a sex scene that is the cake and not the frosting. This is, of course, just grand-scale rationalization on my part, since I've got 5,000 words for the next chapter and they spend the whole of it in bed. If I'm actually going to finish/post it, I have to tell myself that I have some sort of Grand, Artistic Plan and I'm Not That Kind of Girl. It's working so far. Let's see if I can sustain it. Thank you, dear girl. Get writing - make me look foolish.
Date: February 04, 2009 09:48 am Title: Etymology
You deserve a statue for this and for every fic you've ever written. I read Weekdays and Week's End the other day and there are no words to express how beautifully you write Jim and Pam. This fic is no exception. Seriously: brilliance.
Author's Response: You're very kind, Sea Legs. Thank you so much.
Date: February 04, 2009 08:32 am Title: Pronunciation
I realized that although I've told you privately how wonderful this is, I haven't left a proper review. I'm kind of on the fly here, but, in no particular order, I love: the pace, how that ache is slowly building; the perfectly modulated dialogue (e.g., his comment about Katy is funny and all boy and still - comes back to Pam); the lovely, well chosen and evocative details (this: She can smell ...deconstructed notes of the scent of his skin.You made me smell it too ;-)
And most of all I love how you've taken the 'theme' - words/communication - and truly made it integral to the story in both literal and figurative ways. How once again, you've made their increasingly intimate physicality a tacit part of their language too (how he keeps touching her in the car and gradually she's brave enough to reciprocate.)
And btw, in a great minds (or dang, beaten to the punch) moment, in the embryonic piece I mentioned I was toying with, there's also nap scene, just prior to, well...taking the plunge for the first time. (Different circumstances, but still..) Oh well, back to the drawing board, lol ;-)
Can't wait for more of this beautiful thing.
Author's Response: Colette! Who is going to help Blanca save me from myself in the last chapter! You're such a supportive and insightful (I'm thinking of the boards here) member of this community - thank you. I appreciate all of your observations on my writing - it's wonderfully comforting to know that what I'm trying to put across is actually, you know, making it across. :) Finally, please don't let what I've posted here stop you from sharing whatever you're working on. You're one of my favorites, I'd love to read something new from you, and I can't have that kind of blood on my hands. Take care.
10 [Report This]Date: February 04, 2009 07:19 am Title: Pronunciation
I'm crunched for time, but I'm going to quickly say how I adore this. There's this nice, believable balance of the things they are awkward with but the things that come naturally- after all, even under the circumstances, they still know each other so well, and not everything is going to be weird but not everything is going to be easy.
This passage struck me...
Jim takes her hand as they walk down the same stairs that she had paced on minutes earlier, brushing his fingers over her lower back when she gets into the passenger seat of his car, and laying his hand on her thigh, near her knee, at stoplights. When they're about ten minutes from his apartment, she places her hand on his on the gearshift. He strokes the back of her hand with his thumb.
How that was one of the things that just sort of happened and there wasn't a fuss over it, he just did it and she felt it and that was it. I like that. I like that this story doesn't have the huge frills and freak outs... he said he loved her and she said it back and they didn't make it this huge thing. It's really refreshing.
Can't wait for the conclusion =)
Author's Response: The clock is ticking over here, too, flonk, but thank you so much for your kind review. I'm trying to establish a sense that the pattern their relationship will eventually fall into is very close at hand, but they're still trying to find it. I've found it a challenge to write this particular mixture of awkward and ease. It's very easy to go too far in either direction, and, you're right, I don't think angst or sap is what this situation requires. By the end of season three, I think the two of them were, in their own, separate ways, emotionally exhausted, and there's just no way things between them could have been anything but low-drama and straightforward. Cheers.
9 [Report This]Date: February 04, 2009 07:10 am Title: Pronunciation
::clutches Skeevy Little Perv crown:: Give up my crown? To you? ::loosens grip:: Gladly! Bring it, sister! Darling Talkative, you sure can ratchet up the tension.
As he steps back to let her in, she hastily recatagorizes every single time he's ever rolled his eyes at her. Oh, I like that. A lot. And this tasty little snippet: "deconstructed notes of the scent of his skin." Yum.
His feet and his arms are bare, and she realizes that, other than the time the guys played basketball in the warehouse, this is the smallest amount of clothing she's ever properly seen him in, even if she felt so much more the night before. Holy Moses. Way to make a girl's mind turn to thoughts of lust.
I was quite curious about how Jim would react to his surprise visitor after her hasty departure. His response to receiving his tie was perfectly in character, as was the gentle segue into a drive and lunch and a nap (*sigh*). He could have so easily been cruel and defensive, but he just wasn't, and THAT is what I love most about this chap. His ability to gently take down Pam's guard, to make her feel at ease--the fact that he feels comfortable and sure enough to tell her he loves her were, I think, quite the exercise in patience and self-control. He really let his actions speak for him. Now that he's exposed his vulnerability, perhaps he will expose his penis? ::scurries off::
Author's Response: You know what? ::hands crown back:: You re-earned it with that last sentence, weirdo. :) My take on the situation I'm describing here is that Jim isn't even trying, really, to get Pam to let her guard down - he's just doing what makes him comfortable and saying what he feels in a given moment. It just so happens that these are the things that Pam needs to hear. They may have been working at cross-purposes for the whole of season three, but something about that makes the resolution of their particular problems line up quite nicely.
9 [Report This]Date: February 04, 2009 07:09 am Title: Etymology
This story completely sucked me in and is so well written! The way you capture their emotions and vulnerability is just amazing! Can't wait for the next chapter! Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, doogiejr. I'm glad you enjoyed it. One more chapter to come.
10 [Report This]Date: February 04, 2009 07:00 am Title: Etymology
Oh, Pam... sigh. I like that you are drawing a more cautious, more tentative Pam, Talkative. It's frustrating but it makes her even more sweet.
Author's Response: She's just adorable, isn't she? Thanks, kgreene. Glad you liked it.
Date: February 04, 2009 06:58 am Title: Pronunciation
This is fantastic. I love the quiet honesty in their conversations - it's as if the big anxiety is gone and they realize they can finally communicate. And every admission leaves them thinking "of course."
Great stuff.
Author's Response: Hi, Jazzfan. Thanks for the review. The big anxiety might be gone, but its friends, reticence and nervousness, are still certainly hanging around. I think my whole goal here is undermining any sense we might have of Pam and Jim riding off into the sunset at the end of The Job while still making it clear how very happy they are to be at least trying to communicate with one another.
Date: January 29, 2009 08:13 am Title: Etymology
Ah Talkatvie you never let me down, your fic is always breathtaking and this latest is no different. I really love this take on Pam, because you're right, people do tend to write post s3 Pam as assertive and ready for a relationship and while I think that's true, I also think she'd still be exactly like she is in this - still the same Pam, freaking out and a little bit terrified. Can't wait for more :)
Author's Response: Shootingstars, I wrote post-S3 Pam as ready for a relationship with Jim in Week Days/Week's End. I do think that interpretation is an entirely valid one, but I also think this works, too. The only thing we're absolutely certain of is that Jim is all in. Makes things a little easier on us writers to only have one wildcard running around. Thanks for your kind review - I hope you enjoy the next two chapters.
Date: January 29, 2009 05:51 am Title: Etymology
You're killing me. Please continue.
Author's Response: I'm sorry. Here's an oxygen tank and a pint of blood. Try and hang on!
Date: January 28, 2009 03:26 pm Title: Etymology
I just love this take on things so far and am on the edge of my seat waiting for an update. Their encounter is so well written... all the tiny details stand out so well. Great work.
Author's Response: Hi, Kate - I appreciate your review. I really hope I'll have something for all of you not too far into next week. Until then.
10 [Report This]Date: January 28, 2009 02:11 pm Title: Etymology
as much as it makes me upset and frustrated inside when Pam does things like this, the ends of these stories are so much rewarding because it's so much truer to who Pam is, and the fact that she surely has some insecurities.
can't wait for the rest!!
Author's Response: I agree completely. Even as I was sitting here writing this, I was getting annoyed with our dear Pam. Makes no sense, I know, but what can you do? :) Thanks for your review.
Date: January 28, 2009 08:18 am Title: Etymology
Wow! This went right to my favorites list. I think I’ve read it about 6 times and finally found the time to write a comment. I was blown away and by too many ways to mention. The 'first days' stories never get old, and now you’ve written three of my favorites! Jim has to devastated that Pam left so abruptly. He was being so bold , so sure, so SMOOTH. Despite everything that had happened, he must feel ruined after she left. Can’t wait for the next chapters!! I just love Pam’s epiphany: “Pam knew what this meant, of course, but she wanted to know how many and when and where and why her instead of those others and why, suddenly, now.”
Author's Response: MelBal, thanks so much for your review. It's always great when readers pick out specific lines - I like to know what people think I'm doing right. :) I hope you enjoy the next two parts.
10 [Report This]Date: January 28, 2009 02:27 am Title: Etymology
I have to say, it's been a while since I've read a story for which I have so eagerly awaited the next chapter. Please post quickly!!
Author's Response: I'll do the best I can. :) Thanks so much for your nice review, OfficeTragic.
Date: January 28, 2009 12:43 am Title: Etymology
I know that I am reviewing this story far too late in the evening to be anywhere near coherent...but I must tell you that I love this. The feelings the tone...everything is just so right.
There was a way that you described Jim's words...as if the kiss was still in his mouth?
"His voice was different, like their kiss was hiding in his mouth." -- ah that's it. See that there is GORGEOUS and poetic and one of the best things I've read on this site in awhile. Reading this made me want to write...and I think that is high praise.
Just lovely. Can't wait for the next installment.
Author's Response: Lovefool, you're right - telling me that I've inspired you to write is extremely high praise. Thank you so much for that. I look forward to hearing what you think of the subsequent parts. Take care.
9 [Report This]Date: January 27, 2009 09:53 pm Title: Etymology
I absolutely LOVE this! The awkward transition between barely speaking and hands under dress has got to have been crazy weird! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you, Jenn. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
10 [Report This]Date: January 27, 2009 09:20 pm Title: Etymology
My ten year anniversary with my own Jim will be in May. Reading this story and the description of Jim and Pam's first steps into becoming physically involved sent my heart a flutter and brought back such wonderful, intoxicating memories. THANK YOU.
Author's Response: A lot of what I've written here, Lux, is, in a small way, based on some wonderful, intoxicating memories of my own. I'm glad I could bring you some happy thoughts & you're very welcome. Thanks for your sweet review.
Date: January 27, 2009 09:15 pm Title: Etymology
Wow, Talkative! I'm not sure what I can add to this heaping mountain of praise, but I still feel a need to say something about this story here. You already know I adore this, but you deserve all the positive feedback this has been getting and I'm happy to add my voice to the chorus. It's such an interesting glimpse at the beginning of the Jim/Pam relationship, and it feels very true to the show and the characters. I can't take any credit for that, although I appreciate your kind dedication! I'm always here if you need someone to bounce ideas off of.
Author's Response: You! My co-conspirator! You've already shared so much kindness with me that I'm touched you would take the time to review. Thank you for that and get writing, sister!
Date: January 27, 2009 07:44 pm Title: Etymology
You know, I got the email that you had posted a new story while I was at work today, and it was like a little present waiting for me at home (I made a promise to myself to stop reading fic at work...open cubicles are the worst). Anyways, this surely did not disappoint. I always feel like I can read your stuff over and over again and still enjoy it just as much. I especially liked what you did there with the beginning being the end and all - niiiice.
But what I really love is that the transition from friends to lovers isn't going to be easy. I was never able to get 100% behind fics that have them getting intimate right away. I know that I couldn't...and I know the Pam that I know couldn't either. I'm looking forward to seeing what else you have in store. I really enjoy reading (and re-reading) all of your stuff. :-)
Author's Response: I don't read fic at work, either, supergirl, but I have been known to do some writing there (on my lunch break! on my lunch break!). I'm pleased that you enjoy my interpretation on the start of their romantic relationship. Thanks for your kind review.
10 [Report This]Date: January 27, 2009 07:34 pm Title: Etymology
AHHH I can't believe you stopped there! I'm trying to think of a word to describe how I feel right now, and the closest I can get is "cock-blocked." Which, like, I'm a girl, but I think the sentiment of it is pretty accurate.
Seriously, I love this. I love this, I love this. If I had to pick a favorite part, it'd be:
"Okay," she said, because it wasn't a yes or a no, and because her heart had sped up and it felt like something other than arousal. She had a quick flash of herself and Roy at seventeen and, though she wasn't collected enough to remember, she thought she had said "okay" then, too.
Aaaaaah I love it. So many writers portray Roy and Pam's sex life as bad, unexciting, boring. I love how you drew these similarities between Roy and Jim, but highlighted differences too. It's a heady mix of the familiar and the unknown for Pam, and you made it that way for the reader, too.
And also:
She sat up quickly, dislodging his hand. "I -" and she was going to say "can't," but that seemed like the worst possible thing to say
That made me go "OH." That line speaks to all the history and the hurt the two of them had to go through to get to where they are in this story, and it's just so good.
Brilliant, as always, just superb.
Author's Response: Corking, I firmly believe that Roy and Pam had a healthy, happy sex life, if only because I don't want to think that our dear girl was deprived of such a source of joy for so long. I'm not saying it was perfect (no physical relationship ever is, after all), but I don't think it was as awful as some writers want it to have been. Thank you so much for your kind review. I hope you enjoy the remaining parts.
10 [Report This]Date: January 27, 2009 07:01 pm Title: Etymology
I'm hoping by 'within the week' you mean 'tomorrow' and by 'next part' you mean, 'all of it', lol. Seriously - this is so good. Ugh. I have no words. And everyone has already said what I would say if I was coherent so....I'll just say this: I love it, you are seriously such an awesome writer, and I cannot wait for more of this.
Oh, and I promise my next review will be more though provoking and intelligent ;)
Author's Response: Nope. Sorry to torture you, kells, but I've got three parts lined up and I think they're going to be showing up about one a week. Fwiw, I'm working on the second and third parts simultaneously. You're so sweet. Thanks so much for your review and encouragement.
Date: January 27, 2009 06:14 pm Title: Etymology
Goodness, girlie, can I heap more praise on your head for this amazing story?
This scenario is so plausible and Pam's POV is spot on. How can she even imagine having sex with Jim when a few days ago, she had totally written off any possibility of even seeing him again? And yet she makes a valiant effort, because she does wish for intimacy with this guy she's in love with, so she tries with the stockings and the sexy undies, and the hug and kissing his neck in the dark. She thinks she "should" be ready for sex with him, she's known him forever, she's wanted him forever, but the reality of it is too much for her right now. She's having all sorts of self-doubts because of her history with Roy, naturally those thoughts and comparisons are going to intrude.
Plus, crossing that threshold on the second date when she's still amazed at the fact that he's doing the "boyfriend" things at the restaurant, and seeing him in such a different light, well, "weird" barely begins to describe it.
And of course, she'd run away, feeling like an idiot in front of Jim, who, in her mind, is obviously not having these insecurities.
The awkwardness reminds me of an interview last year when John said that Jim and Pam are both such dorks. So I can see their "first time" being full of nerves and giggles.
Can't wait for more. Thanks for the pre-Superbowl treat!
Author's Response: Hello, EH. The long paragraph with which you start your review says it far better than I have. I've actually copied onto the top of my second chapter as a focus object of sorts while I do the heavy-lifting that that part of the story requires. I also think that Jim is dealing with his own insecurities (because he's Jim, after all), but that Pam's not really aware of them. I plan to change that, of course, because it wouldn't be much of a story if I didn't. Thank you so much for your kind, very generous review. I look forward to seeing what you think of the subsequent sections.
8 [Report This]Date: January 27, 2009 04:03 pm Title: Etymology
I really love first date fics, and this was so well done. Really, you just have to feel for both of them. How do you date someone you're already in love with? How weird would that be?
Can't wait for the next installment.
Author's Response: Hey, jkfan - it would be extremely weird, esp. if that someone was previously engaged/dating someone else/your best friend/someone you hadn't spoken to much in a year, etc. etc. It was all of those factors that made me think that things could be a little more complicated that what we've seen in so many first-date fics. Thanks for your kind words.
Date: January 27, 2009 03:58 pm Title: Etymology
What a great start! I'm definitely intrigued and very captivated by the characterizations and emotions so far. So, another installment this week? Yay!!!!
Author's Response: Hey, berrycake - I don't know about this week, as I don't have much time to write in the next couple of days. It's looking like middle of next week, unless things go better than I've anticipated. I'm glad you're enjoying it, though. Thanks for the review.