10 [Report This]Date: March 24, 2009 07:40 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
Oh Talkative, you know how much I love the way you write angst. You broke my heart, yet it's okay because we know it has a happy ending eventually. I could practically feel the tension in the room, the want and frustration in Jim's voice, and the confusion in Pam's.
I have never been able to come to a logical conclusion of what happened after Casino Night, but this story makes sense. It gives him a chance to test the waters again, be frank (because what does he have to lose), and say goodbye in a way. Your story is beautiful and heartbreaking. I especially like how you've made their interaction very in character-- yes there is anger, but even drunk they don't overreact. They don't need to to communicate what is really going on. So much is said just by the way you write the way he looks at her, the way he has stopped pretending. Just wonderful. Like always!
Quick question? Am I right in assuming that Pam is the one who says "I love you. So much. Okay."
Eagerly awaiting your next masterpiece!
Author's Response: Hey, WaW - yeah, it's Pam that says "I love you." But we all know she doesn't mean it in the way Jim wants her to mean it, right? Or at least she won't be admitting it for a little while... This is my own logical, possible conclusion as to what happened after CN. I do like the idea that they had an opportunity to take another crack at one another, to do more damage, but to be more honest. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and, as always, leave such a marvelous review. I hope to have something new to share with you soon. All the best.
Date: March 23, 2009 06:42 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
This hurts, but in such a wonderful way. I especially liked this line - I really did say "Yessssss!" out loud.
He rolls his eyes, "Oh, that is such bullshit."
Finally, Jim calls Pam on her lack of intestinal fortitude. Thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, jazzfan. I think Jim said that to Pam because it was one of my favorite things to yell at my tv during S2. :) See you on the boards, dear.
7 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2009 07:42 pm Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
"Being able to see his own want and curiosity reflected back at him is the most hollow sort of victory."
Great line. Beautiful story. I've read it 4 times and find something new to love each time.
Author's Response: Thank you, kaystar. It's one of my favorites of the story, too. And I love me some re-readers. Cheers.
Date: March 21, 2009 09:46 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
You know, I've always believed they never saw each other again, after that fateful night...and usually in fic when they do, it's far too melodramatic to convince me otherwise. But, dang, missy - you changed my mind. This fits so seamlessly into canon, capturing precisely each of their states of mind/moods during that mysterious moment of disconnection. So much to love about their encounter in the bar - Jim's utterly heartbroken melancholy mixed with his first glimmers of bitterness - yet still, needing to finally tell the truth even if it's the death knell (your line about Dwight is absolutely killer.) Pam's almost spastically desperate effort to pretend it's something she knows full well it's not - hanging onto that like a life preserver. Oh man, the humanity;-) You captured it all, without over-writing it, so bravo for that!
But, rather than quote every other line, here's something I especially loved: how you structured this, beginning and ending in the same place: It was the opening iteration of a pattern that had yet to emerge... fantastic. And so spot on, for precisely that feeling I always got from S3 - which, btw, always reminded me of the final lines in Gatsby (So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.) Just the profound sadness/loss of never really moving on from what had - or should have - been.
So, yeah, I loved this. It's a sad and true thing.
Author's Response: Fwiw, dear Colette, I'm entirely unconvinced that they saw one another, too. Weird? I was laboring under two assumptions as I wrote this - first, if they did see one another, it would have to be something very small (like you said, no melodrama; it's just not them); second, any sort of confrontation they had would, at the same time, have to be big enough to do some serious, lasting damage to their relationship. I've never been fully convinced that Casino Night would have been enough to keep them so distant from one another as he transferred and she called off her wedding. I was aiming for something that worked in canon, so I'm pleased that you think I've managed it. As I've said to other reviewers, I was really torn on that Dwight line, but your approval makes me happy that I didn't soften that blow. Finally, FINALLY, this is completely insane, but the original draft of this story, before I sent it to callisto, had that exact line from Gatsby as an epigraph. How about that? :) You always, always brighten my day, dear. Thank you so, so much for leaving such marvelous reviews.
8 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2009 07:22 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
This was a fantastic chapter. I loved that Jim didn't let her off the hook, that he wouldn't let her pretend that nothing happened or downgrade it to a crush.
"I have never once wondered what it would be like to make love with Dwight." - So perfectly Jim.
Author's Response: Hey, JAMhands - my take is that Jim was just so sick of pretending that there was no way he was going to take back what he said. Also, I wasn't sure that that line worked. I'm happy to see that a few of you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. :)
10 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2009 03:03 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
Thanks for keeping your promise of more stories Talkative. I just love the way you write ... beyond just liking the stories you weave for these characters.
This imagining is so very sad, their hopeless beautifully expressed. These lines particularly spoke to me: "The base, messy truth of it is quite another. Being able to see his own want and curiosity reflected back at him is the most hollow sort of victory."
Bravo. Yet again!
Author's Response: Hi IBT - What a compliment! While I have a blast writing fic, it's really just a way for me to stretch my muscles for the work of "real" writing. As such, I'm touched that you enjoy my writing separate from the context/characters. That line you quoted is perhaps my favorite of the story - so glad to see someone point to it. Thanks a million for your kind words. Cheers.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 09:47 pm Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
Well, well… I promised myself I’d make my first review when you posted a new story and since I’m so heartbroken, I’m not sure where to start. I hope this is coherent. First, let me say I stand by my believe that even with all the WONDERFUL writers out there, that you remain unsurpassable in my eyes.
Everything about this is spot-on: the worn down look and feel of Jim, the desperation of Pam to “fix” things, Roy being oblivious (not because Pam didn’t tell him anything, but because he doesn’t see it.)
I would end up quoting down to the last line, if I were to say everything I liked, but some things that tore into me were “Jim smiled and squeezed back. "Oh, I know how this one ends." Because, really he knows how this (they) will end even if at the time it’s said it’s in a different context. “…He can smell her breath, which reinvigorates his recollection of the taste of her mouth” and you feel him wanting to lean in again. “Their eyes meet and it would be funny if he wasn't able to see Pam's entire life spread out before her, these people at the very center of it.” It’s really hard when you know someone is making a huge mistake with their life, but you just have to let them do it; but when it’s the person you’re in love with, it’s unbearable.
"Maybe you just think -" "Think what?" I can hear the weariness in both of them. "It's not coming out of nowhere." I love that you put that in here, because it’s so not coming out of nowhere- she knows it, and he knows that she knows- how could she not?
"You kissed me back, Pam. It felt incredible." (closes eyes *shivers*)
“What he wants, really, desperately wants, is to get the hell out of this bar, to take her with him, for just a couple of hours, so that they can, for once in their lives, have a conversation that isn't happening on borrowed time.” Again, you’ve added an extra beat to my pulse by feeling the same desperation he feels. Sigh.
He rolls his eyes, "Oh, that is such bullshit." Yes! Angry, frantic Jim. Niiice.
"I have never once wondered what it would be like to make love with Dwight." This, THIS is it. I can plain as day hear him saying this to make her laugh, but the seriousness of the way it’s said here it’s so openly truthful that it can do nothing but cut her to the core.
"I love you. So much. Okay?" He employs the same trick that he used earlier that week, looking everywhere but her face. Crying in front of her once was the absolute limit permitted by his dignity. Oh, Jim. My heart bleeds for you. Talk, how do you write a whole visual scene, complete with deep-rooted emotion, in so little words?
He brushes past Pam without looking at her again. With him knowing it would be the last time he would see her, I think it would have shattered him if he did look at her again.
Wow, enough. Right? Perfect in every way, shape, form, and feeling. And since you are the queen of companion pieces, I’d love to see your Pam’s POV after this, when she realized Jim’s not coming back. You know, after Geography is complete.
Author's Response: And, with her first attempt, Ang takes the trophy for longest review for this story! I'm so touched by your kindness, dear, and strongly inclined to protest - I'm still just pretending that I'm colette or Annabel Winslow. In response to some of your comments: you know, I'm not entirely convinced that Pam really did know how Jim felt, not fully. She might have thought that he had a crush, something like that, but I truly believe that, either thanks to denial or lack of attention on her part, he completely caught her off guard on Casino Night. That line about Dwight got taken out and put back in to this story around five times. Based on reader response, I'm glad that I left it. Finally, I don't think I'll be writing a companion to this, but I am doing my darndest to get Geography off the ground (interrupted by a small Post-Two Weeks diversion this weekend). Thank you so, so much for your review, Ang. Do stick around, okay? :)
Date: March 20, 2009 05:58 pm Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
"Shouldn't it just be irresistible?" (gah)
That line gave me goosebumps. Great job, missie! I'm a sucker for stories where Jim and Pam, fueled with a bit of liquid courage, actually do some verbal dancing around the "thing" between them. It's especially good when Jim, in his desperation, pushes things a bit in a attempt to shock Pam out of her denial. Girl7 is the original angst master in this genre, but you are right up there as well, my dear!
Thanks so much for another story I'll be rereading over and over.
Author's Response: It's rare I make my *own* hands sweat when I'm writing, EH, but "Shouldn't it just be irresistible?" got me, too. Is that weird? ;) I've really been feeling the angst as of late, so I'm flattered by your comparing me to Girl7 and by any and all hints that I have re-readers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, as always. See you on the boards.
Date: March 20, 2009 01:38 pm Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
awesome story, my friend.
off to listen to those songs (:
Author's Response: I made a "What the Jukebox Knows" mix. It's pretty good stuff, I must say. Thanks for reading and reviewing, mixedbreed. I hope you like the songs.
9 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 10:22 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
I agree with Corking: this hurts like a mofo. The line that did it for me:
"I have never once wondered what it would be like to make love with Dwight."
Ache.
Author's Response: :: fills another ice pack ::rnrnThanks for reading and reviewing, Ms. Beesly. I appreciate your taking the time to do it.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 09:05 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
Oh, Talkative. This hurts.
My favorite, most heart-breaking part: Their eyes meet and it would be funny if he wasn't able to see Pam's entire life spread out before her, these people at the very center of it.
Oh. Oh.
Author's Response: I think I need to start handing out ice packs with some of my more recent stuff. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing, Corking. I always appreciate it.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 08:20 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
Well, you already know how I feel about this. The booth conversation breaks my heart a little more every time I read it. You are a master of characterization and detail, my friend. This in particular still appears in my mind as a perfect visual:
Her eyes register shock, locate Roy and his brother over by the pool table, and go cautiously neutral, all within an instant.
It kills me that she still has some delusion that they can "fix this" in the wake of everything he's said. She has a lot of realizations to make, and I can absolutely see this conversation coming back to haunt her over and over after he's gone.
Anyway, thanks so much for letting me be part of this. It's such a pleasure and, dare I say, an honor. :)
And I hope everybody goes to look at the lyrics to "Authority Song." :)
Author's Response: I love that you love that line! I rewrote it three or four times to get the rhythm right - I like to think that your writerly ear can hear that. :) As this all takes place three days after his confession, I'm sure that Pam was still putting her back into staying in denial, but Jim's honesty gives her a new challenge: now, not only does she have to deny her own feelings, she also has to pretend that they can go back to how they were on Wednesday. It's so sad, so impossible. Your participation in the process of writing this story made it all the more fun. Talk to you soon, I'm sure.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 07:49 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
I really liked this a lot. It was heartwrenching and amazing, all at the same time... there really are no words to describe it. I loved the angst and the chat with Jim and Pam... amazing. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, JamJunkie. My heart wrench has been getting a workout lately. I should put it away sometime soon and write some fluff, don't you think?
Date: March 20, 2009 07:30 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
WHOOoooOOO-ooooaaaaaaa, here it comes...that funny feel-in' again windin' me up inside every time we touch...I have such a soft spot for that, my favorite VanHalen song, so you got me there. And what a perfect choice. You've done it again, my friend. That first little bar-booth encounter is so sweet and perfect. Ms. Beesly, did you know what you were doing to our boy? Cupid's sparrow right through his poor heart.
I enjoyed the jump back and forth from 5/04 to 5/06. I can perfectly envision Jim leaning over the jukebox. Your ability to describe the minutiae is definitely one of your strengths, Talkative. I can just picture how broken Jim was post-confession. This take on that scenario is brilliant--no drama, just desperation and heartbreak and exhaustion and denial...and still love. He can't turn it off.
...her hair is pulled up into a messy bun, off of the rarely-seen, downy curve of her neck. Such a beautiful, delicate detail. It must have killed Jim.
"How are you?"...He's too weary and sad to formulate a quick reply, yell, cry, or beg. He rests his elbows on either side of his drink and rubs his face. "Not good." THAT is when my heart took up residence in my throat. Pam hoping that Jim will play along with the charade, and Jim, of course, caving was heartbreaking.
As difficult as it was to read, it was so satisfying to have them actually talk about what happened, both in the immediate past and beyond: "Yeah. Years." The alcohol has promoted itself to second-in-command and is clearly contemplating a mutiny, so he adds, "Since the first time I saw you. You were wearing a gray skirt and a pink shirt. You were so pretty that I completely blanked on my own name for a second." He pauses. "Which is why I asked you out." Surprising, yet appropriate, to have Jim address that first "date." There subsequent conversation regarding who would be taking off beautifully ties up the loose ends of those missing weeks. "Wouldn't want it to look too obvious, right?" Yup, nobody knew or could have guessed that there was ever anything brewing between these two ; )
Oh and can't forget this gorgeous sequence: Love is quite one thing; that disembodied, chivalrous nonsense that he tried for a long time to convince himself he felt for her. The base, messy truth of it is quite another. This story perfectly captures the messiness. My hat goes off to you once again.Author's Response: Okay, I'll admit it - that's my favorite Van Halen song, too. Don't tell anyone. It's ended to be included in a tongue-and-cheek kind of way here, but, at the same time, it does work really well. I don't believe that these two would have been capable of any drama in the wake of what happened on Casino Night. Any sort of confrontation would have to be small, subtle, and short. I figured I'd throw Roy in for good measure and see how tense I could make it. Also, it was fun to give Jim a chance to acknowledge all sorts of things that had to go unsaid prior to his confession (their first "date," how long he's loved her, etc.). It's always so good to hear from you, Nan. Thank you for your kind words.
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 07:24 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
One word, amazing!
Author's Response: Two words - thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 07:24 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
AAH! So good! This takes me right back to the bleeding heartache of that time. I would soar with eagle's nest if one day on the actual show, Jim would say to Pam, "you were wearing *blank* the first moment I saw you," or something like your line in this story. That would be an amazing and thorougly romantic thing (I think) to prove to her just how much, how deeply and how long he'd been in love with her. Once again, you nailed the characterization, Talk, from Pam's hair messily falling out of the bun to Jim's three-day-old stubble. Will you sign my autograph book, lol?
Author's Response: Hiya, eers, glad you liked it. No one's ever asked me for my autograph before - I'm all flustered. ;) The very end of season two is some of the most fertile ground around for angst and drama-inclined writers such as myself. The possibilities are darn near endless. Always good to see your "name" among my reviewers. Cheers.
Date: March 20, 2009 07:09 am Title: I Don't Seem Obvious, Do I?
I think I was just so excited at the prospect of a new story that I completely overlooked what it was about or who it was by. So I started reading it and it reached the point where I felt like I knew what I was reading and who it was by, by virtue of the fact that it was just such beautiful writing and description. So I looked up to confirm that it was one of your fics. It was after this line that I checked:
Jim feels the urge to describe, in glorious Technicolor, the events of Thursday night. It's so overwhelming that it's almost as if he's already said it.
I'm not quite as articulate as I'd like, so suffice it to say that I loved that line. This was such a lovely and heartbreaking story. The time after Casino Night and before the third season is such a mystery but this is something that I can almost certainly imagine happening. Kudos on that. I'll definitely be coming back to this one. :)
Author's Response: Velvet, I'm flattered that you find my style recognizable. It's nice to know I have a voice. :) I'm so, so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much for your kind review.