Date: March 22, 2009 04:23 pm Title: Night...
What a sexy little bit of exactly what I needed this evening! I love everything about your writing, Colette. The palpable atmosphere, the banter, the visuals, all the neat little turns of phrase. I love the notion that it’s all so normal for them, that they fell into it so effortlessly, but they’re continually still surprised at the little things that indicate coupledom like the toothbrush on the counter, sneakers lined up by the door. Your characterization makes it possible to see all of that so vividly it’s like watching an R-rated episode of the show.
I’m feeling meticulous tonight so here’s a bunch of lines/phrases that exemplify why I like your writing so much:
It was like discovering some hidden superpower she wasn’t yet sure how to wield and She wasn’t sure if he’d always been this easy to get going, but she liked to think it was her. -- the mingled confidence and uncertainty is so Pam.
She hardly even noticed that the back of her head was knocking against the upper cabinet with each accelerating thrust, until he cradled his hand protectively behind it. – because of course he would notice even if she was too carried away.
warm whiskey wave and in those few suspended seconds while the world ruptured and dissolved
‘Christ, Beesly…. what kind of obscene toys did you play with?’ --so funny, so Jim.
(Afterwards, he’d teased that if she hadn’t kept the TV volume so distractingly loud, they might have scored a triple instead of a double play.) –again, so Jim.
‘Jim?’ she said into his skin.
‘Hm?’
‘I’m just really glad you’re here.’
‘I live here,’ he chuckled softly.
‘Still.’
He tightened his arms around her.
--the visual conjured here is so sweet and beautiful.
Oh, and how about the little quotes from ‘P. Beesly’ to start each chapter? Niiiice. /Kevin.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it. :)
Author's Response: An R-rated episode...if only ;-) I'm really pleased you found the small details right - I know how an 'off' one can throw a story. And hooray for singling out many of the phrases/moments that I'm partial to as well - I love when you talk meticulous! (Oh, and btw - thought I'd give a little backstory to Jim's 'complaining' in CM, about how 'loud' she listens to the tv volume, lol.) Anyway, hearing this worked for you re: phrasing, visuals, etc. means a lot, as usual. I love playing with words, and I love even more when a reader notices! Thanks, so much, callisto!
Date: March 22, 2009 04:13 pm Title: ...and Day
Wow! I was really struck by the honest of the piece. Beautifully written :)
Author's Response: Thanks, that's a lovely compliment!
10 [Report This]Date: March 22, 2009 03:47 pm Title: ...and Day
oh. so. good.
(:
Author's Response: Thanks much, Mixedbreedgirl!
Date: March 22, 2009 03:02 pm Title: ...and Day
Bless you, Colette, for this beautiful piece of smuff. It was funny, sexy, grin inducing, well written, and totally made my day. Please feel free to keep 'em coming.
Author's Response: Thanks, pigeon. Glad you enjoyed ;-)
10 [Report This]Date: March 22, 2009 01:58 pm Title: ...and Day
Like we’re this real...’ she hesitated a beat, suddenly feeling surprisingly shy, ‘…this real couple now.’
I'm starting with that quote to point out how incorrect you are in stating that this is just an "unseemly display of smuff." You've captured them so perfectly at a really compelling point in their relationship and you've done it with the merest slip of a plot, the thinnest possible premise. You're dealing with a lot more that just sex here.
But, good God, the sex... this is, quite possibly, one of the hottest things I've ever read, and I don't just mean on this site. It was messy and clumsy and so honest. You're not just moving bodies around the page, you're telling us something about these two people and who they are relative to one another while you do it. You had me the whole damn time, but She cried out his name, digging her nails into his back and he seemed to know to hold still, like a lightning rod for her to break around. earned you an out loud "Holy shit" (and my husband a "Oh, nothing. Just something online."). That sentence alone merits a county fair worth of blue ribbons.
Colette, don't you ever hesitate to post something again. Your instincts in this fandom are pitch-perfect. You make me either want to give up or work twice as hard - I can't decide which one.
Author's Response:
1) You're far too kind 2) there's a 3rd option: just keep on doing what you're already doing, cause it's pretty dang wonderful.
You know, I admire a well wrought, complicated plot, but I'm personally much more drawn to writing small moments (beating them into the ground, lol?) So, I'm always grateful for readers, like you, for whom that's enough. And I'm thrilled you thought the sexing worked...especially that it reflected other dimensions between them beyond the actual bumping of uglies. That's precisely what I hoped, but you never know.
And lastly, I'm pleased you mentioned that first line in your review, because, really, in many ways that sense was as - or more - important to me in writing this than the more, uh...purple parts.
Thanks - much appreciate the appreciation, Talkative.
10 [Report This]Date: March 22, 2009 01:37 pm Title: Night...
Colette, you know I love this - I think it goes without saying at this point that you're one of the finest, if not the finest, writers that we have in our little purple arsenal. You've got both chapters up, but I'm going to be methodical here and take them one at a time. So let me show you what's beautiful about what you've done here -
We know these people - you could take out all of the names and post it on a different website, and I'd still be able to tell you that this was Jim and Pam. You're in third person, but Pam's voice is unmistakable. And the little details - the silly jokes, Jim's smile when she gives him her key, the messy apartment, right down to Jim's taste in reading materials - it's them, over and over again, as real as watching it on tv (even moreso, in some ways, if they keep doing what they did last week).
The foreshadowing of Pam's parents' relationship problems is excellent. I think I was reading too quickly the first time around, as I missed it, but it leaped out at me the next time I read. It's dropped so lightly, so perfectly into the middle of their conversation.
And, finally (for this chapter), the way you deal with how they're settling into their romantic/sexual relationship is just marvelous. I love how they're shaking their nervousness and shyness, but not quite, not completely. I adore that Jim hesitates without hesitating and that Pam takes every opportunity to reassure him that his affection is welcomed, as if she's afraid he'll misunderstand and leave (again).
Author's Response:
Purple arsenal? Both literally and figuratively ;-) I don't need to tell you that the best compliment is that a fic is in character (and that it's sustained in the details) and that the 'voice' sounds right - so many thanks for that alone. Also, especially glad you picked up the ref to Pam's parents - wondered if that would 'read'. I did want to keep it subtle, cause while these things never actually come out of nowhere, often it's only in retrospect that you register small hints percolating for years. And finally - yes, exactly. I hoped this would feel like that place where it was all still new enough that they'd have a whiff of shyness/nervousness/carefulness, but solidified enough that they were both relaxing into it...which is, of course, when all the good stuff really begins.
Okay, shutting up now...I still have another response to write for your very generous reviews. Thanks so much - as always, it means a lot.
10 [Report This]Date: March 22, 2009 01:15 pm Title: ...and Day
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this! I've been dying for well written, sweet, romantic smut and you've absolutely delivered :)
And also, THANK YOU for this line: "...and she was already becoming reacquainted with the messy aftermath of condom-free sex." Thank you for the realism that so many smut stories don't acknowledge. I love their reaction to sex without a condom for the first time. So utterly perfect, as are you!
Author's Response: My pleasure! I don't always mention the post-sexage messy-factor, not because I want to pretend it doesn't exist, it's just not always the focus of what I want to get across in a particular scene...but, in this one, I thought that detail fit. Glad you did too. (Let's all imagine Jim wiped off the counter while she was in the bathroom too, cause otherwise...ew. ;-) Anyway, thanks so much - appreciate the generous review!
10 [Report This]Date: March 22, 2009 12:41 pm Title: ...and Day
BOING!!! awesome :D thanks for this!
Author's Response: No, thank you for reading and reviewing, untherapy!
Date: March 22, 2009 12:27 pm Title: ...and Day
This was really, really good for me. ;-) This is the way to do "explicit" my friend. With all that Jim and Pam are still present in every ounce of dialogue and every emotion. The "boing" thing...absolutely that would be part of their conversation. Here's to abstinence making the heart grow fonder! Truly enjoyable.
Author's Response: Hearing you thought this stayed true to character is music to my smutty ears...seriously, that's always the worry when writing this kind of fic. And yeah, this is about as explicit as I get - I figure there are some details you don't need me to describe in excruciating detail, lol. Anyway, pleased - as always - that this was good for you. Thanks, my friend!
Date: March 22, 2009 12:23 pm Title: ...and Day
I loved this story. It was just so sweet and perfect and, well, JAM. Very well done.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it so much - thanks, IThinkWeBrokeHisBrain! (Wow, your name is a mouthful to type;-)
Date: March 21, 2009 08:59 pm Title: Night...
This first chapter was really sweet. I like the caring Jim demonstrates towards her, the lack of pressure, the fresh shave...
Author's Response: Thank you, Luna Mystik. As Pam herself just said, he is a sweetie ;-)
7 [Report This]Date: March 21, 2009 08:14 pm Title: Night...
Returning to a recently showered, freshly shaven and brief-wearing Jim in my bed would send me to the frig for a Red Bull to give me the wings to enjoy it, just sayin'. Can't wait for things to start percolating in the a.m.
Author's Response: Well, she did get a second wind, but he was already conked, lol. No, I did consider that, but I thought a month into the relationship, it would be believable that once in a while, exhaustion might trump hormones ;-) and that her urge to get back to him wouldn't be just about the sexage (though I'm pleased my description of him worked for you...Jim in his skivvies? Dang.) Also, hopefully her just needing to sleep sets up the next part - hope you'll agree. Thanks, kaystar!
Date: March 21, 2009 04:28 pm Title: Night...
Definitely looking forward to the morning. :) I love how you painted Jim's space; very much the way I envision it with the books everywhere and a combination of messy/clean. Your detail of the trading of the keys was so subtle and sweet. And of course he's not pushy, just wants to feel her skin... ::thud:: As always, a pleasure to see something new from you! :)
Author's Response: Glad to know I'm not the only one who spends time imagining things like where Jim leaves his junk mail, lol. Also that you liked the key exchange - for some reason I've had that image in my head for a while. Anyway, always a pleasure to hear from you - thanks much, Callisto!
Date: March 21, 2009 11:27 am Title: Night...
Pure, romantic smuff, straight up. Not angsty, not edgy, no apologies. No bad writing, just pure brilliance.
Author's Response: You are too kind. Thank you, Sea Legs!
Date: March 21, 2009 06:27 am Title: Night...
God that was so perfect. I love little moments like this, where Jim says things like "I just want to feel your skin" make me just melt.
Great, great job--I'm looking forward to to next update!
Author's Response: I like writing these little moments too...thank you so much Big Tuna!
Date: March 21, 2009 06:20 am Title: Night...
For the love of everything holy, PLEASE get the next chapter of this up soon!! lol... This was glorious.
Author's Response: Glorious? Wow. Thanks so much, stjoespirit04!
Date: March 20, 2009 11:48 pm Title: Night...
Colette...this little diddy? Well it spells L-O-V-E - love. ::sigh:: This had me feeling drowsy and turned on all at once, which I suppose is exactly what Pam was feeling so kudos, my friend. So glad to see you writing and so, so happy that there's another part coming!
Author's Response: Yup, this is the fic formerly known as P. Diddy...(okay, that was really bad. It's really early here, what can I say? ;-) Glad this hit the, uh...right note for you. Promise the rest today, and that it will be better than this response. Thanks, LoveFool!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 09:57 pm Title: Night...
ohhhhh yay (:
Author's Response: Many thanks, Mixedbreedgirl!
Date: March 20, 2009 08:56 pm Title: Night...
I've been sick as a dog for over a week. This helps. Unfortunately, that's all I can muster for now. Except that I love it and I am looking forward to the next part. Thank you.
Author's Response: So sorry you're feeling poorly - glad if this helped a little. Hope by the time I post the next part, you're seriously on the mend. Thanks, as always, WalkInLove!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 08:50 pm Title: Night...
Oooh, loved this so much. So sweet. So Jim and Pam. I totally pictured Jim's apartment like that...
Awesome job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, JamJunkie14!
Date: March 20, 2009 08:31 pm Title: Night...
Oh, Colette. *sigh* Gorgeous--that's what this is right here. The perfect thing to read before hitting the hay myself (in the name of research, of course). I fell asleep on the couch instead of re-watching 30 Rock with the hubby and remembered that you said you were going to post. I couldn't be a rude guest and not check in :) What a delightful read. The thought of Jim waiting in bed, freshly showered and shaven is HOT, of course, but also so touching.
I truly can't wait for the next chap.
Author's Response: A rude guest? Never! Sheets of fire for you, missy! Anyway - glad you thought this was hot and touching - that's our value meal combo of the day. ;-) I promise not to keep you waiting long. Thanks much, NanReg!
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 08:08 pm Title: Night...
This was so deliciously sweet and erotic and makes me really wish I was seeing my boyfriend this weekend, damnit. In other words, wonderful job and can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Why thank you...I love hearing you found this erotic, before they'd even done anything ;-) Hooray for that!
Date: March 20, 2009 05:47 pm Title: Night...
This is just quiet and lovely, and I love you for writing it. There's something so comforting in seeing them sharing their lives with each other. The little things like the key exchange, the shoes by the door, the appreciation of his interests, the washed dishes, all point to a couple in love caring for each other.
Skin to skin snuggling FTW! Looking forward to them continuing where they left off after a good night's sleep. :)
Author's Response:
Can't beat those REM's...just saying ;-)
And so happy this felt right to you - was just in the mood to write something uncomplicated and happy. Love me some angst, but every once in a while, I think they'd skip that part and just be. Know what I mean? Thanks, as always, EH!
9 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 04:59 pm Title: Night...
This is gorgeous Colette! I was just re-reading some of your stuff last night, so it was a great surprise to see something new ... hope you post part two as soon as it's done percolating.
Author's Response: Thanks, Int'l (can I call you that? ;-)...second part is almost soup - should be served up by tomorrow. (And how flattering that you were re-reading!)
10 [Report This]Date: March 20, 2009 04:54 pm Title: Night...
I've missed you so much you don't even knowwwwwww it. I have been like pfft at Colette having a life outside of US, but yay you're back and omg what an awesome first chapter. You manage to kill me EVERYTIME, the whole I want to feel your skin, guh, so Jim and just perfect perfect perfect.
I want to marry your fic brain.
Author's Response: Ha! That is so sweet, Hannah...and glad you're enjoying this smutty little thing. As for the impending nuptials...my fic brain would be honored ;-)